Amber Brown Is Green with Envy

by Paula Danziger

  I finish his sentence. “She gets it done.”

  We both grin.

  The light changes, and we continue on to the school.

  When I get there, Max parks, gets out of the car and opens my door for me.

  He makes a big deal of my getting out of the car, sort of like I’m a queen or a princess.

  I leave the present in the car.

  I don’t want it to break at school.

  We hug each other good-bye.

  “See you after school,” he says. “With any luck, we’ll find a wonderful house that we all like.”

  I cross my fingers.

  We hug again.

  “Bye,” we say, and then I skip up over to the playground.

  One of the playground aides says, “That was very nice of your dad to open the door for you and to treat you like such a lady.”

  I open my mouth to explain that Max is not my dad…. that he’s not even my stepdad yet…. and then I close my mouth and just nod.

  I wonder what it’s going to be like at Parents’ Night.

  Chapter

  Thirteen

  Dear Justin,

  I know that my mom and your mom have been talking on the phone a lot lately.

  How do you like having a new baby sister? I think it’s funny that Danny asked if they could take it back to the store and exchange it for a baby brother…or even better, a GI Joe action figure. (Someday, I will probably want to talk with you about baby brothers and sisters, but not yet….. Now I want to talk to you about moving.)

  I know that our moms talk on the phone a lot…. and that your mom knows what’s happening here.

  Because you had to move away, I have to ask your advice. (I can’t ask Kelly and Brandi…. because they don’t want me to move away….. and they will pick the house in town.)

  Please let me know what you think. (I know that you don’t like to talk a lot about feelings, but please do this for me!!!! Please, oh, please.)

  I know that it was hard for you to move away, that you didn’t want to talk about it….. but was it hard for you when you got to Alabama? Did you miss being here? Do you still sometimes miss being here even though you’ve been gone for over half a year? If you could still live here, would you?

  I wrote myself a note about the houses and I want you to look at it. Writing it all down is helping me figure things out. After you read my notes, please call….

  Please, oh, please.

  Oh….. and I am trying to convince my mom to send me to summer camp, the same place you are going. (I’m pretty sure that it will work…. because I think that she feels a little guilty about my being so upset about the move.)

  Anyway, here’s my notes about the houses.

  Amber Brown’s Thoughts about

  the Search for the Perfect House!

  Okay, let me begin by saying that there is no perfect house….. not perfect for all three of us (me, Max and Mom)….. not perfect for any one of us….. There were some things that we all loved…. some that two of us loved and some that only one of us loved…. and some that we all hated….. All of the houses had the basics…kitchens, living rooms, bedrooms, bathrooms.

  We have narrowed it down to two houses….. that’s the good news…. The bad news is that one of the houses is NOT in town….. and the even worse news is that it is wonderful….. a swimming pool in the backyard…. a real in-the-ground swimming pool. There are three stories to the house and my bedroom would be on the third floor in a round room that looks like the tower of a castle…. It is so magical….. I looked out the windows and I could see the swimming pool, the wishing well and woods behind the garden area….. There’s a fireplace in the living room and one in the kitchen.…

  Max and Mom say that the bad news is that the house is a “fixer-upper” and would take a lot of time and money to get it all fixed up. I think that the bad news is that it is two towns away, and I would have to switch schools.

  The second house is in town.

  There is no swimming pool and not a lot of land.

  The house is brand-new and is in “wonderful shape” (the real estate lady kept saying that)….. It’s an okay house, but it is very boring. The one really good thing is that it is in the same new development as my friend Kelly Green (and another classmate, Hal).

  Max and Mom like the first house because it is so unique…. they like the second house because it is so new, it does not need repairs….. The fireplace in the second house does not have a family of birds living in it. (The first house does!) Mom thinks that the first house is “totally charming.” She likes the second house because it has all new air conditioners, a finished basement, a lot of closets, all brand-new appliances. There is even a continuous-cleaning oven. (I personally think that it’s a little strange to have an oven that cleans itself…. although I do wish that it had a bedroom for me that cleaned itself!!)

  Max and Mom say that since she is selling our house, and he is selling his apartment, we can afford either house…. That’s more of the good news…. The bad news is that if we buy the wonderful first house, there will be more money to spend on fixing it up, and we will have to be much more careful about spending money on things like vacations.

  If we buy the second house, I can stay at the same school with all of my friends. I will still be able to easily get to the place where my dad lives and I will be able to see the Marshalls as often as I do now.

  If I am at the first house, I can invite everyone around here (except for my dad) to go swimming in our pool. Max did say that he would have to teach me how to help clean the pool and it would be my job to take out any frogs or skunks that fell into the pool. (I think that he is kidding….. but I’m not absolutely sure about that.)

  Max and Mom are not sure which house is best…. They are going to think about it, and they want me to think about it, and then we will talk about it. (They are afraid that someone else will bid on whichever house we decide on….. so we have to decide quickly.)

  That’s the end of my report for now. My father is picking me up in a few minutes because he wants to talk to me about what happened last weekend. (I am so mad at him!!!!!!!!!! Is it okay for me to say that sometimes my dad acts like a real jerk???????????)

  Your old friend,

  Chapter

  Fourteen

  My father and I are sitting at the diner that we used to go to before he moved into the Marshall house.

  He took me there so that we can have some privacy to talk.

  I am ordering. “I would like a ham and cheese on white bread, please….. no tomato. Mayo on the ham side, mustard on the cheese side. Coleslaw in a separate dish. A Vanilla Coke, two ice cubes.”

  The waitress smiles and looks at my father. “This is a girl who knows what she wants.”

  I know what I want for lunch.…I wish I knew where I want to live.

  My father nods. “Sometimes that’s good. Sometimes it’s not.”

  I glare at my father.

  We both know that he is not talking about my lunch order.

  As for my lunch order, mayo just tastes better on the ham side….. mustard on the cheese side….. and I just like squishy white bread….. and the liquid from the coleslaw can leak on the sandwich and make it yucky….. and too many ice cubes change the taste of the soda….. everyone knows that.

  My father orders the cheeseburger deluxe and a cup of coffee.

  The waitress leaves and we just sit there, saying nothing.

  I am not going to be the one who talks first.

  He’s the one who called me for this special meeting.

  It’s not even one of the days that we’ve worked out with the custody agreement.

  I don’t have to be here.

  I don’t want to be here.

  But I said yes.

  Mom said that I should tell him how I feel.

  Mom said that I should tell him why I did what I did.

  I just sit here thinking.

  So what if I called Mom on the Sunday of th
e weekend that I was supposed to be with Dad.

  So what if I asked her to come right over and pick me up.

  It was noon, and my dad wasn’t even awake yet.

  He came in at about 4:00 in the morning.

  I heard him talking to Brenda and Polly when he paid them for the Ambersitting.

  The girls went upstairs to Polly’s house.

  I pretended that I was asleep when he came into the room to check on me.

  In the morning, I woke up, went to the kitchen, got cereal and turned on cartoons.

  My father never came out of his room.

  I looked in to make sure that he was there.

  He was there, snoring.

  I took a shower, got dressed and waited.

  He was still asleep.

  At noon, I called my mother.

  I was crying.

  She said that she would come right over.

  I packed my bags and waited for her outside in the driveway.

  She was there in fifteen minutes.

  I can depend on my mom.

  She put my bags into the trunk, and I got into the car.

  Mom said that I should write a note telling my father where I was.

  I started to cry and said that I wouldn’t go back in there.

  She drove the car out of the driveway and parked on the street.

  Sitting there, we talked about what was upsetting me.

  My mom looked really angry when I told her what happened.

  She took out her cell phone and called my dad and left a message on his machine saying that I was with her.

  My father has been calling for several days now, but I wouldn’t talk to him.

  The waitress delivers our food.

  I squish the bread.

  “Amber,” he says, “talk to me.”

  I glare at him and sneer.

  What does he want me to say? That I think he is a jerk for making promises and not keeping them….. for going on a last-minute date with a stranger when he was supposed to be with me?

  I say nothing.

  “You are being very immature.” He frowns.

  “I am immature,” I finally say. “I’m nine years old…. what’s your excuse?”

  He looks furious.

  I am surprised that I have just said that to him, but I am very glad…also a little scared.

  He sounds furious. “If I had said something like that to my father, I would have been punished.”

  “It’s the truth,” I say. “I should not be punished for telling the truth.”

  Then I say, “How could you have gone out like that when you said that we were going to do something?”

  “I have a right to my own life.” He makes a face. “Do you know how much I’ve given up for you?”

  I feel like he’s hit me.

  He gets quiet for a minute and then says, “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. It’s just that you have to understand…. I’m not living in New York City because I want to be closer to you. I can’t socialize when you are with me.”

  For a minute I feel guilty, and then I think about it. “I didn’t ask you to do that…and Mom never complains about taking care of me….. and I know that there are times that she and Max are not together because of me….. and they don’t think I’m so much trouble. If you feel that way, just go get an apartment in New York. Just don’t expect me to go there. And I don’t care how much you go to court….. I’ll tell them I hate you!”

  What happens next is something I don’t expect.

  My father cries.

  It’s very weird to see him cry.

  He does it quietly, but I know that he is crying.

  “Amber,” he says softly, “I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings. I love you more than anything else in the world.”

  I just sit there, not really believing him.

  “I’m a jerk,” he says.

  That I do believe. “Yes, you are.”

  He doesn’t yell. “I’ll try to be better. Give me another chance. You are my daughter. I love you.”

  Another decision to make….. do I give him another chance….. do I tell him that I never want to see him again?

  I’m only in the fourth grade. Why do I have to make such big decisions…where to live, whether to deal with my dad.

  He says, “Next week…. please stay at the house. We’ll make up a set of rules and regulations.”

  “Not for me,” I say. “I already do what I’m supposed to.”

  “Like the time you got your ears pierced after you were told not to?” He smiles.

  Parents remember some things too well.

  I don’t give in, though. “I’m not the one who has to change this time.”

  He sighs. “Okay. You’re right.”

  I am feeling a little calmer now.

  I’m not sure that I believe him, but I would like to.

  “I promise not to be a jerk anymore,” he says. “I’ll try not to be a jerk.”

  I decide to give him one more chance.

  He may be a jerk…but he is my jerk…he is my father.

  Chapter

  Fifteen

  Dear Justin,

  I, Amber Brown, have made my decisions.

  Max and Mom and Dad have all made their decisions.

  Things are now worked out….. I hope.

  Here’s what’s happening.

  We are buying the boring house in town. With all of the changes happening in my life, I am not sure that I want to give up all of the things that I’m used to…not even for a round room and a swimming pool. I will stay in my school, keep my friends (and my enemy Hannah Burton, yuck). Mrs. Holt will still be my teacher. Mr. Robinson my principal. (We had Twizzlers and soda in his office to celebrate my decision.)

  So much in my life is changing.

  I want some things to stay the same.

  As for my dad, he has decided to stay in New Jersey at the Marshalls’…and to “make some attitude adjustments.” (That’s what he said…I think he is getting some help from a counselor he has started going to for advice.) Anyway, I’m giving him another chance. He is my dad.

  My mom and Max will be getting married soon. I’m going to be bridesmaid for my mom and “best man” for Max. (Only we are going to call it “best child.”) I get to choose my outfit for that. (I, Amber Brown, will not wear a pink frilly dress.)

  When they get married and go on their honeymoon to Italy, I will be going to Disneyland with Aunt Pam and staying with her until they come back!!!!!!

  Great, huh!?!!!

  Your friend,

  Life can be very confusing…. filled with good things and filled with bad things.

  But it’s my life….. and I have choices.

  Things you should know

  about Paula Danziger

  Favorite color: Purple.

  Least favorite color: Brussel sprout green.

  Hobbies: Collecting antique beaded bags, souvenir glasses from all the states and shoe things, shopping, talking on the phone, scrapbooking.

  Favorite expressions: “Does that outfit come in black?” “Yuck, spinach!” “Charge it.” “Are we there yet?”

  Favorite things to do: Being with friends, spending time with my niece and nephews, reading, watching TV shows where people redecorate each others’ homes (I would NEVER let anyone do that to my place but I love watching other people do it).

  I love to pun.

  I like chicken jokes. (Especially: Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.)

  Odd facts: I have a pepper grinder where the pepper comes out a pig’s nose and when the grinder is picked up, it plays “Arrivederci Roma.”

  Things she’s not good at: Singing in tune, cooking.

  Future plans: Organize my desk, organize my life, write!

 

 

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