The Girl with No Face

by M. H. Boroson

  Xu Shengdian wanted to break my will, force my love, and walk all over me, so I turned docilely toward him, obeying the dictates of his guiding hand, carefully listening to him breathe.

  As I turned obediently, I felt one huge regret: I wished I could see the expression on Xu Shengdian’s face in the moment when he noticed my eyes were closed, realized he had no power over me yet, and saw the half-pound of spiked and sharpened metal I was swinging with all my strength at the space directly behind the source of his breath. I deeply regretted that I could not watch my rope dart smash his face in; there would have been more joy in my cold rage if I could have witnessed the impact with my eyes open, but I kept them shut tight and heard thechwack! and splootch! as my weapon cracked hard against a bony, meaty thing that must have been his face or head.

  I’d hoped the blow would shatter his skull, but his startled cry and his moan while he crumpled to the floor was not the sound of a dead man. Not yet, anyway.

  When the deity Guan Gong went to battle, he would wear a red blindfold, making himself sightless to amplify his glory. I called upon the warrior-god to strengthen me while I could not see. I swung my foot upward into a high crescent kick, hardened my heel into pigua ti, a hanging kick, and yelled “Guan Gong!” while my leg chopped down on the man like an axe cutting lumber. I felt the impact, heard him yelp, then I stomped my foot on him like a horse’s hoof, while he scurried out of my way like a panicked bug.

  A voice in my mind started saying, Kill him, kill him now, Li-lin, or he will own you. Simply looking at him will destroy you. The sacred place in memory where your time with your husband is immortal, eternal, and loving, he will desecrate.

  Kill him or he’ll take you, and take you apart.

  Kill him or he’ll use you, and use you up.

  Kill him or he ’ll leave you, and leave you broken.

  Kill the monster . Kill him hard. Kill him twice. Leave a corpse no one will recognize.

  Fury told me to kill him, but my intellect, the calm and centered core of me, rational, analyzing and measuring . . . also told me to kill him.

  It would not be so easy, though. This was not the first time I had fought a man, though I’d never done it with my eyes closed. How badly was he hurt? I must not open my eyes. To assess the situation, I touched the spikes on the side of my rope dart. His blood had wet them, but not so much that the spikes were dripping with it. I’d need to try again. Not that I really minded; it had been so much fun the first time.

  He clambered noisily to his feet, and I heard him step back. “Open your eyes,” he said, but the words mattered less than how he said them: he spoke with only a little slurring in his speech, as if his lips or teeth had been harmed; I hadn’t managed to give him a serious brain injury or shatter his jaw.

  “Little dead man,” I said. “Consider this your great mistake. You should never have placed me under your spell.”

  I heard him pacing, just outside my range. Working out a strategy. “Open your eyes, Li-lin,” he said.

  “Oh, my eyes have been opened, Xu Shengdian,” I said. “I see who you are. You cursed your little wife with a vampire tree, murdering her for a touch of luck at the gaming table? Investing your hand-selected City God so you wouldn’t have to worry about my father or me figuring out you’ve been using some kind of magical token to cheat at games and score some money?”

  “Gambling isn’t just money and games,” he said. “It’s winning, Li-lin. A winner is special, and everyone knows it; he isn’t like other men.”

  “You think cheating makes you better than others?”

  “I am better,” he said. “I’m not some worker, Li-lin. I’m no normal man, subject to the inconsistencies of chance, accumulating success through years of tedious, repetitive acts. Labor is beneath me. I simply matter more than the rest of you, Li-lin, it’s a fact; I’m more important. When I was a child, the tree taught me that some people matter and others don’t. It chose me and freed me from my chains, and I asked it, why not set all of us free? Free my fellow slaves too. But the tree knows all, and it taught me not to care about other people; I had to accept that my friends didn’t matter; I was the only one who mattered.”

  “So an ancient evil being drove you mad.”

  “Is it mad to know one’s worth? Open your eyes, Li-lin; just look at me and you’ll see I’m right. Once you see me, you’ll understand everything.”

  “What will I understand?”

  “That I’m better than you,” he said at once. “Open your eyes, Li-lin. One glance at me and you’ll recognize how inferior you are. When you come to understand that you’re truly worthless, you’ll crawl through mud and thank me for the lesson. I promise.”

  The depravity of his way of thinking made me feel squeamish. And then I thought of something even worse, an idea that made me cringe. “Did you treat your wife this way? Hex her, and . . .?”

  “Not like this, no. Sometimes I’d make her forget things she saw, but no, I didn’t want her like that. Maybe in a few more years, if she’d turned out pretty, and strong.”

  “Strong? You would have hexed her if she’d developed strength?”

  “Of course,” he said, his tone suggesting he found this obvious. “Why would I bother crushing a woman, teaching her that she’s garbage, if she weren’t powerful? There’d be no game in it. It wouldn’t be winning. You’re a strong woman, Li-lin, so when you open your eyes and see me, I will triumph.”

  “You can’t feel good about yourself, unless you make me a loser?”

  “Not a loser,” he said. “Just a trophy.”

  “I never knew your mind was so obscene,” I said. “You have the mouth of a Buddha and the heart of a snake, Xu Shengdian. You are twisted by your encounter with something powerful and alien. Do you even know what it is, this tree? What it wants?”

  “Open your eyes and I’ll tell you,” he said. “You can be my servant, Li-lin. My maid. You’ll gather little bones for me and sew them together in animal shapes. You can suck the venom from rattlesnakes to prepare my hexes. I’ll even let you cook my meals and wash my clothes. Open your eyes and you’ll find new gods to serve. Gods who care about you enough to make you crawl through shit and teach you that you deserve it.”

  “You think I’m such a low, inferior thing, Xu Shengdian? Then come at me. I’ll keep my eyes closed, let you make the first attack.”

  “Oh dear, does the victim not realize the role she’s meant to play? You won’t goad me, Li-lin.”

  “Because you’re a coward, Xu Shengdian. Even with my eyes closed, you’re no match for me, child-killer.”

  “My my, Li-lin, have you heard yourself? What kind of boorish dimwit would play your silly game? ‘Fight me or you’re weak,’ you say, but here’s the thing: I don’t care what you think of me when your eyes are closed. Sooner or later you’ll open them, and then you’ll see that I’m so much better than you.”

  I swallowed, tensed. I needed to fight or to escape, and I needed to find a way to do it without my eyesight. Blinded, I could stumble over obstacles, I wouldn’t be able to dodge or block any attacks, and my own strikes would be haphazard. If that weren’t dire enough, my closed eyes were not my only disadvantage.

  The power of men’s bodies was usually on their side, the force of their blows and the reach of their limbs, yet I’d found ways to make up for their male strengths; a weapon in my hand increased my range, and I’d exploited their overconfidence, their pride, or their emotions. They had been easy to manipulate. Xu Shengdian would not be played so simply.

  He was here in the room with me, watching me, I was sure, while I stood blindly crouching, preparing for an attack that could come at any moment. I had nothing but hearing to go on, and the sound of my own heartbeat filled my head, thud-thud-thudding in the silence.

  What did I know about his martial arts? Not a thing; I was not aware if he had any significant training, but I knew little about the man; he could have concealed his status as a superb martial artist as easily
as he concealed his status as a megalomaniacal murderer enslaved by some ancient evil.

  What did he know about me, though? That was the question, and perhaps more important. Did he know how I was likely to act in moments of crisis? Did he know that confrontations filled me with not just anxiety but the thrill of the fight? Did he know violence made my body tense but alert, my thoughts brisk, and my decisions ruthless?

  “Please, Xu Shengdian, please let me go,” I wheedled. “Please, oh please, I’m begging you, just, please, let me go.”

  “Cunning, Li-lin. If you had tried this ploy a minute ago, I may have fallen for it, but no. You’re like a snake, dangerous.”

  “I am not the snake in this room,” I said.

  “No? You will be when I want you to. You’ll slither along on your belly, sticking out your tongue, like Madame White Snake. My little snake-girl, you’ll do anything for my affection. It’ll be cute.”

  What was he up to? Talking, talking. Perhaps he’d seen how uncomfortable his deviance made me, a discomfort that raised my hackles and made me likely to lose a beat in the moment of action.

  He moved, his footsteps treading across the floor, away from me. I took a step deeper into the room, needing to escape, but I wasn’t sure where the exits were. I heard Xu Shengdian rummaging through drawers.

  “Ah, here it is!” he said, exaggerating delight. “Guess what I’m holding in my hand, Li-lin.”

  I said nothing.

  “Here, I’ll give you a hint. I’ll make it easy on you. What do you call the kind of gadget that splattered your husband?”

  I said nothing.

  “Open your eyes or I’ll shoot you,” he said.

  My mouth felt dry. I said nothing.

  “I’m aiming it at you right now,” he said. “Guess which part of your body I’m aiming it at.”

  I did not speak, just kept positioning myself defensively against the direction of his voice.

  “Pow!” he said. “Pow pow pow! Open your eyes! If I put a piece of metal in your brain, would anyone notice the difference? Would you?”

  Think, Li-lin. What did I know about this man? He was a gambler, played games of chance not strategy; he saw luck as a sign of being special, being important. Would he own a gun? I could find no way to decide.

  But I did know he gambled with my boss. And my boss liked to mix American games in when he played: he would shoot craps, play poker . . . .

  Antagonizing me. Insulting me. Threatening me with a weapon he may not even have. Bringing up Rocket’s death, now. All his talk was the way poker players chatter over cards, boasting and challenging, designed to unnerve a foe, and mislead. Xu Shengdian was playing poker with me. He was keeping me off-balance with his words and actions, manipulating me to act rashly; because after just one single misstep on my part, I would belong to him, forever.

  The gun was a bluff. He was making me nervous, misdirecting me; his words were a battle tactic.

  I needed to think strategically. My usual approaches would only be of use against brash men. What would a clever man do now, faced with an opponent who was armed and trained in martial arts, yet smaller and weaker than he was, and blind while he could see?

  What would he do next? What was his goal? His hex still was likely to break me; he wouldn’t go for the kill, just . . . take me down. He didn’t want me dead; that would be a waste of his love curse, and besides, if he wanted to crush a strong woman under his foot and keep her as a trophy, he wouldn’t want a corpse. His objective would be to neutralize me as a threat and put me in a position where he could force my eyes open.

  The item he was holding would be a blunt instrument. Xu Shengdian had some kind of club, and he was going to slam it at the base of my skull or my neck, or try to incapacitate me at the shoulder. He would bludgeon me hard, I’d be dazed, and he’d disarm me. Blinded and weaponless, disoriented and dizzy, fighting a stronger opponent who wielded a cudgel and could see.

  Still, even blind, I was armed and trained, so only a fool would come at me from the front. He needed to get behind me, but that wasn’t going to happen, so he’d try to trick me into turning to one side, then he’d come at me from the other.

  I listened hard for the sound of muffled footsteps, breathing, any sign of where he was and what he was doing. Wheee-iii, whiiii-eee, the sound of my rope dart spinning was all I heard in his chamber.

  Something crashed to my left, so I snapped my rope dart in a whipcrack to the opposite direction. It struck hard against a human body, and I heard his breath rush outward. Now, I had to act now, while surprise was on my side. I spun and launched myself, not at him, but back toward where I’d been when he hexed me, by the water basin, then stretched out my hands and started feeling for the object I knew was there.

  The murderer’s approach behind me was more stealthy than speedy. I could imagine the club in his upraised hand, preparing to hammer my skull.

  I spun towards him with my hands full of the item I had found, whipping the heavy linen towel like a cape. It thwacked and folded around a hard object, and I shot after it, not even trying to do harm: just making sure everything was where I needed it to be.

  Making sure the towel covered Xu Shengdian’s face.

  Opening my eyes in the bright room, I hardened my fist to iron, formed Dagger Strike with my hand, and drove the rigid spike of my fingers right into the part of the towel that covered Xu Shengdian’s eye.

  He cried out and I drove my other fist, hard, into his mouth. First I felt linen against my knuckles, then softness—lips—gave way to hardness—teeth. A solid punch, and I wanted to push my advantage, to keep pummeling until he was dead, but his thrashing cudgel pounded down just above my elbow, sending numbness to my fingertips, and then he stumbled out of my range.

  His hands grabbed the ends of the towel so I spun away, took one final glance at the window, and shut my eyes. Behind me I heard him roaring, and I ran blindly, lashing out ahead of me with my rope dart. I heard the window shatter and I just ran forward while the shards of glass rained down.

  I ran onto the balcony. Not knowing precisely where the railing was, as soon as I felt the planks beneath my feet I launched a grasshopper leap, and with my eyes closed I dropped from the second story, onto the startled crowd.

  NINETEEN

  Rocket and I used to play a game; I would run toward him, he’d hold his palm facing upward, I’d place a foot on his hand and he’d fling me straight up while I sprang upward and back, flipping and trying to turn a complete circle, trying to land on my two feet, facing him. It was nothing more than a game and a stunt, and yet, it was how I learned to fall.

  I fell now, from the second-floor balcony. Focusing on falling well took all my concentration. Would I land on people or on the boardwalk? Either way, my approach would be the same: shield my face, spread my body, and –

  Wallop. Confused shouting, my body impacted as if fists were pounding me, voices asked “What’s happening?” and I rolled and dropped off the men I’d landed on.

  Lying on my side on the boardwalk with my eyes closed, I said “I’m sorry” to no one and everyone. Footsteps started thumping past again, while I scrambled up to hands and knees.

  “You can’t just do that,” a voice said. Another: “Who do you think you are, dropping from the sky?” Another: “Why are her eyes closed?”

  “I am very sorry,” I said, climbing to my feet as they brushed past.

  Yet another said, “A madwoman.” I heard men’s voices, a murmur, throbbing with words like crazy, white-eyed, broken-brained.

  I stood now but I did not dare to open my eyes. I could see nothing. My fingers were tingling where Xu Shengdian had clubbed my arm. Men shoved past me, and I felt a hand grip my sleeve. Instantly I yanked away and assumed a defensive stance.

  “Are you all right?” a man’s voice said. I did not recognize him from the sound, but his breathy Toisanese made me think of an old man.

  Taking a breath, I said, “Will you help me?”

&
nbsp; “I only have a few minutes,” he said.

  “Please, Uncle,” I said, the term both formal and familiar, “just lead me to Wong Chin Ark Laundry.”

  “This is very strange,” he said.

  “I agree,” I said. “Please lead me there.”

  I felt him pinch my sleeve. It only took a minute for him to guide me down the lane. “I must go,” he said.

  “Wait, Uncle,” I said, “I owe you a debt but I do not know your name.”

  He laughed. “It’s best that way,” he said. “Just think: you have at least one friend out here.”

  I listened to the old man’s departing footsteps, his hoarse laughter.

  “Mr. Yanqiu?” I said. “Mr. Yanqiu? I need your help.”

  A few moments passed before I heard his voice. “I’m here, Li-lin.”

  “Oh thank goodness.”

  “Why are your eyes closed?”

  “I’ll tell you shortly,” I said, lowering my hand. “But please look around. I need you to watch for Xu Shengdian. You must let me know if he’s nearby.”

  I felt his tiny feet climb into my palm. “Happy to keep watch for you, Li-lin. I don’t see him, but I’ll keep an eye on the situation.”

  I lifted him up to my shoulder and felt him settle in, turning a slow circle to look everywhere. “He’s not here,” Mr. Yanqiu said.

  Relieved, I opened my eyes. After squeezing them shut for so long, brightness blasted me, and I needed to blink, blink, and squint for a minute. When my eyesight returned to normal, when I could see the dreary humid San Francisco day and the crowd of pedestrians, I started walking, my pace brisk. Needing to go away from here.

  “I’m a sentry!” my father’s eye was saying. “A sentinel! A guardian keeping you safe! Say, why am I looking for Mr. Xu anyway?”

  “He cast a hex on me,” I said, and the words tasted like vomit. “I’m on the run. I can’t let him catch me because the moment I see him, I’m finished.”