Broke

by Mandasue Heller

  Desperate to be back in her own house with her own things around her, and missing Mark far more than she dared to admit to her mum who seemed to think that she was home for good, Amy’s heart leapt with joy when she gazed into his eyes as he stood on the doorstep. But, determined not to let him think she was a pushover, she folded her arms and played it cool.

  ‘You shouldn’t be here. My mum told you not to come.’

  ‘I don’t care about your mum,’ said Mark, holding out the bunch of flowers he’d bought from the garage on the way. ‘All I care about is you and the kids. Please come home, babe. I can’t stand it when you’re not there. I need you.’

  ‘It’s too soon,’ Amy replied, already mentally packing her bags and pulling the kids out of bed. ‘I need more time.’

  ‘It’s killing me,’ Mark moaned. ‘I just want my family back. You’re my life. I don’t want to live without you.’ He sank down to his knees now, and thrust the flowers at her again. ‘I’ve been stupid, and selfish, and you deserve someone better. But you’re my wife, and I love you with all my heart. Please come home, darlin’. I’ll change. I’ll do anything you want. I’m begging you.’

  Despite her resolve to stay strong, Amy melted. Mark was a clown, and she’d long ago learned that he would say anything to get his own way. But no other man had ever made her feel the way that he did when he looked at her the way he was looking at her right now. His soppy eyes and little-boy pout were so cute. And when he called her darlin’ like that she just wanted to dive into his arms and stay there for ever.

  ‘Not tonight,’ she said, struggling to maintain her composure. ‘The kids are in bed, and I’m not getting them up to take them back to the house while the electric’s off. Sort that out, and I might think about it.’

  ‘Already sorted,’ Mark told her, grinning as he stood up and brushed the dirt off his knees. ‘And I’ve been shopping, so there’s food in, an’ all.’

  ‘You’ve been shopping?’ Amy drew her head back and gave him an incredulous look. ‘I didn’t think you knew where the shops were. Well, not the ones that sell food, anyhow. You only ever go for booze and cigs.’

  ‘That was the old me,’ Mark said softly, moving closer. ‘I just told you, I’m gonna change. Whatever it takes to get you back, I’ll do it. ’Cos I love you. And you love me – don’t you?’

  He was so close by now that Amy could smell the scent of his skin, and she couldn’t keep up the act any longer.

  ‘You know I do,’ she murmured, falling into his arms and burying her face in his shoulder. ‘But this is your last chance,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t keep doing this on my own.’

  ‘I know,’ Mark crooned, stroking her hair and kissing her neck. ‘But we’re gonna be all right, you’ll see. We’ve got money now, so you don’t have to worry about anything.’

  ‘Did the benefits come through?’ Amy gazed up at him. ‘How much?’

  ‘Three hundred,’ Mark lied. ‘And there’s more to come. But let’s not talk about that now. I just want to get you home.’

  ‘No kidding,’ Amy teased, pressing her hips against his when she felt his erection.

  ‘Get the kids,’ Mark growled. ‘I’ll call a taxi.’

  Sonia was confused when she and John returned from their hospital visit to find the house in darkness. It was only nine, and that was far too early for Amy to have gone to bed. Concerned when she checked Amy’s room and saw that the bed was empty, she rushed to the spare room to check on the kids. If Amy had gone out and left them on their own, she would bloody kill her.

  The kids weren’t there but, unlike Amy’s bed which was still neat from Sonia having made it that morning, their beds had obviously only recently been vacated – and they were a right mess: chocolate smeared on the sheets and pillowcases, and a big wet patch in the middle of Bobby’s.

  ‘They’ve gone!’ she yelled down to her husband as she came back out onto the landing.

  ‘I know,’ John called back from the bottom of the stairs. ‘She left a note on the kitchen table.’

  Sonia marched down and snatched the note out of his hand.

  Gone home, call you tomorrow X

  ‘Ungrateful little mare,’ she hissed, pushing John out of the way and going into the living room.

  ‘Leave her be, she knows her own mind,’ John said placidly as he followed her. Shaking his head when she snatched up the phone, he switched the TV on, then sat down and kicked off his shoes.

  ‘Don’t get too comfortable,’ snapped Sonia, tapping in Amy’s number. ‘If he’s forced her to go back, we’ll be going right round there to pick them up again. And that no-good swine will know about it if he tries to get in my way.’

  ‘Don’t interfere,’ John warned, shifting to one side to let out a fart. Straightening up, he reached for the TV remote with one hand and picked his nose with the other.

  ‘Get a tissue,’ Sonia ordered, pulling a face as she waited for Amy to answer.

  John ignored her and wiped his snot on the underside of the chair arm.

  Amy took a long time to answer the call, but when she did Sonia launched into her.

  ‘What the bloody hell do you think you’re playing at, dragging those kids out of bed in the middle of the night? And you’d better not tell me he made you do it, or I’ll have his bloody head on a plate!’

  Amy pulled the quilt up over her breasts and rolled her eyes at Mark.

  ‘The kids are absolutely fine,’ she replied evenly. ‘And Mark didn’t make me do anything. I’d already decided I wanted to come home.’

  Amy winced when her mother started shouting and held the phone away from her ear. Giggling when Mark licked her neck, she tried to wriggle away. But he held her down and started tickling her.

  ‘Amy, are you listening to me?’ Sonia’s shrill voice blared out of the receiver. ‘AMY . . .? AMY!’

  ‘Mum, I’ve got to go,’ Amy gasped when Mark dived under the quilt and forced his head between her legs. ‘Call you in the morn-ahhh!’

  ‘Don’t you dare hang up on me!’ Sonia barked. The line went dead. She stared at the receiver in disbelief, then tapped it and listened again, as if she expected it to have been reconnected.

  ‘Told you to leave her be,’ John droned.

  ‘If I wanted your opinion I’d ask for it,’ Sonia snapped, giving him a dirty look as she pressed redial. Furious when the phone just rang and rang, she slammed it down. ‘Just wait till she calls me back. I’ll roast her bloody earholes!’

  ‘If I was you, I’d keep me nose out,’ John cautioned her for the fourth time. ‘You know what she’s like. She won’t thank you for interfering.’

  ‘Oh, so I’m good enough for a shoulder to cry on, and she doesn’t mind using me as an unpaid bloody babysitter. But I’m not allowed to be concerned about my grandchildren being dragged out of their beds in the middle of the night?’

  ‘It’s only nine,’ John reminded her. ‘And they’re her kids, not yours, so I suggest you keep your gob shut if you don’t want her to stop you seeing them.’

  Sonia clamped her mouth shut and flounced into the kitchen. There was no point talking to John about stuff like this; he was a man, they didn’t understand emotions. It wasn’t just the situation with the kids that was pissing her off, it was the whole bloody lot of it. There wasn’t a day went by that Amy wasn’t on the phone complaining about Mark, but it never occurred to her to ask if Sonia had better things to be getting on with than listening to the same old gripes over and over. And who was the first one she came running to when she needed money, or food, or a bed for the night? Muggins, that was who! But let Muggins dare to speak up when madam didn’t want to hear the truth, and madam thought nothing of falling out with her.

  Well, bugger her. Sonia had had a gutful, and when she spoke to Amy again she would bloody well tell her so.

  9

  Amy rang her mum first thing the next morning and tried to explain that she was happy, that Mark had promised to change and she was convinc
ed that he really meant it this time. But her mum hadn’t wanted to hear that so they’d had a massive argument, culminating in her mum telling her that she was washing her hands of her and Amy saying that was fine by her, but that she needn’t think she was seeing the kids again.

  That little blip aside, Amy was blissfully happy during the next few weeks. She and Mark were getting on better than they had in ages and, still under the impression that the dole had already paid them three hundred pounds, she was delighted when they received a cheque for a further seven hundred. And, to cap it all, their sex life was better than ever, so she was walking around with a permanent smile on her lips.

  Mark was also happy – far too happy to be bothered to go and see Jenny like he’d promised. In fact, he’d totally pushed her out of his mind, along with the money he owed her.

  The loan he’d taken out with Len Yates wasn’t so easy to forget, however, and he had been fastidious about making his repayments on time. Which was all well and good when he was flush, but not so good when the money began to run out.

  As usual when he had a bit of cash in his pocket, Mark had been completely unable to resist the lure of the bookie’s. And that, along with his first love, the fruit machine, soon put a dent in his stash.

  It didn’t help that Amy had been splashing out on the kids, buying them a load of new clothes, and treating them to days out at the pictures, bowling and swimming. But when Mark came home from the bookie’s one day to hear that she’d ordered them each a new bed, he almost had a heart attack.

  ‘Why have you done that?’ he demanded. ‘There’s nothing wrong with the ones they’ve got now.’

  ‘Bobby’s pissed in his so many times the mattress is starting to rot,’ Amy told him. ‘And I couldn’t get him one without getting Cass one as well, or she’d think I was playing favourites. Anyway, that’s what the money’s for. We wouldn’t even be getting it if we didn’t have the kids.’

  Mark couldn’t argue with that, so he just begged her not to buy anything else unless it was absolutely necessary, reminding her that they would soon be relying on just the weekly benefits and telling her that he didn’t want them to go back to scrimping and scraping.

  Amy calmed her spending down after that. But they were soon back to square one and Mark realised he was in trouble when he tried to withdraw Yates’s money out of the hole in the wall one Monday afternoon, only to see on the screen that there was the grand total of seven pounds fifty left in the account. With just half an hour to go before he was due to pay up, he rang Steve.

  ‘Mate, I need a massive favour. I need to borrow fifty quid asap. I’ll pay you back first thing next week.’

  Steve whistled softly through his teeth. ‘Sorry, man, no can do.’

  ‘Please,’ Mark begged. ‘It’s urgent.’

  ‘I can’t,’ Steve told him. ‘Honest, I’m really skint. Layla’s folks are away, and I’ve been stopping round at hers, so I’ve had to—’

  ‘Fuck Layla,’ Mark squawked. ‘This is an emergency. I’m your best mate!’

  ‘And Layla’s my woman,’ Steve reminded him sharply. ‘So don’t ever disrespect her like that again, or we’re gonna fall out big time.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Mark bleated. ‘But I really, really need this money.’

  ‘Well, I haven’t got it,’ Steve repeated coolly. ‘Sorry, can’t help you.’

  Mark cursed when Steve disconnected the call, but he had no time to waste so he tried his mum instead. She was out, so he went through the rest of the friends whose numbers were in his phone. And, finally, when there was absolutely nobody else left, he rang Jenny.

  ‘Oh, so you’ve remembered my number, have you?’ she said frostily when she heard his voice. ‘Aren’t I the lucky one?’

  ‘Don’t be like that, babe.’ Mark forced himself to sound contrite. ‘You don’t know what it’s been like since Amy came home. It’s been a nightmare. She’s been on my case day and night.’

  ‘Should have thought about that before you begged her to come back.’

  ‘I didn’t beg her. And it wasn’t even about her, I did it for—’

  ‘The kids,’ Jenny finished for him, a sarcastic edge to her voice. ‘Yes, I know how devoted you are to your kids, thank you.’

  Already pissed off about having to creep to her again, Mark felt like telling her to fuck off. But she was his last hope, so he said, ‘I know you’re upset with me, but I genuinely haven’t had a chance to get away.’

  ‘Or pick up a phone?’

  ‘Don’t think I haven’t wanted to. You’ve been in my head day and night. You don’t know how hard it’s been, waking up and seeing her lying next to me of a morning when all I want is you.’

  Jenny went quiet, and Mark wondered if she had cut him off.

  ‘Jenny?’ he said. ‘Are you still there? Jenny?’

  ‘I’m here.’ She sighed. ‘But I don’t want to talk over the phone. I want to see you.’

  ‘And I want to see you too,’ Mark purred. ‘But I can’t right now. I’m in a spot of bother and I need to get it sorted. You know that bloke you put me onto?’

  ‘What about him?’ Jenny asked warily.

  ‘I’m supposed to be paying him this week’s instalment in, like . . .’ Mark glanced at his watch and groaned. ‘Shit, I’ve only got twenty minutes left.’

  ‘You’d better get off the phone, then,’ said Jenny. ‘Call me when you’ve finished.’

  ‘I can’t pay him,’ Mark blurted out before she had a chance to hang up. ‘My money’s not gone into my account yet.’

  ‘Oh, I see.’ Jenny’s voice hardened. ‘So that’s why you rang, so you could tap me up again.’

  Mark’s heart sank. He supposed he couldn’t blame her for cold-shouldering him after the way he’d messed her about, but if she wasn’t going to help there was no point continuing the conversation.

  He put his thumb on the disconnect button, but just as he was about to press it, Jenny said, ‘All right, come round. I’ll have to go to the machine, but it’s not too far so I should be back by the time you get here.’

  ‘Can’t you bring it to me?’ Mark asked, reluctant to schlep all the way over to her place when he was already on borrowed time.

  ‘No,’ Jenny said firmly, determined not to let him think she was a complete pushover. ‘If you want it, you’ll have to come for it.’

  ‘Okay,’ Mark agreed. ‘I’ll be there in five. But I won’t be able to stay.’

  Jenny murmured something that sounded suspiciously like ‘We’ll see’ before she hung up. Mark kissed his teeth in irritation and set off at a rapid stride.

  Jenny knew that Mark was using her, and she wished that she was strong enough to tell him to get lost. But she desperately wanted to see him. It had been hell waiting for him to come round after his last visit, jumping up and running to the window every time she heard a noise and sleeping with her phone in her hand in case she missed a call. She had even gone to his house last week and walked up and down on the opposite side of the road in the hope of catching a glimpse of him. Her heart had almost stopped when Amy had pushed the buggy out onto the path, but it had positively shattered when Mark had come out and kissed the bitch.

  That had almost destroyed her and she had gone home in bits, vowing never to talk to Mark again. But now, as she stood on the step watching him walk up the path towards her, her resolve crumbled.

  ‘Come in,’ she said quietly.

  ‘I can’t,’ said Mark, eyeing the money she was holding in her hand. ‘I’ve only got ten minutes.’

  ‘Considering how long it’s been, I think you can spare me one minute,’ Jenny insisted.

  Mark gritted his teeth when she turned and walked up the stairs.

  ‘I’ve missed you,’ she said when he joined her in the living room.

  ‘Yeah, me too,’ Mark lied. ‘And I wish I could stay, but I really need to get going. So, if I can just . . .’

  ‘Why did you lie to me?’

  ‘What?’ />
  ‘You said it’s been a nightmare since Amy came back.’

  ‘It has.’

  ‘So how come you’re still kissing her like you love her?’

  ‘Am I fuck!’ Mark scoffed. ‘Who told you that?’

  ‘I saw you,’ said Jenny.

  ‘You what?’

  ‘On your doorstep, last Wednesday. She came out with the buggy, and you kissed her.’

  Mark drew his head back and narrowed his eyes. ‘Have you been spying on me?’

  ‘No.’ Jenny blushed and folded her arms. ‘I went to see a friend round the corner and had to walk past yours on my way home.’

  ‘Jeezus!’ Mark spluttered, running his hands through his hair. ‘Are you stupid? Have you got any idea what Amy would have done if she’d seen you and put two and two together?’

  ‘Left you?’ Jenny was defiant.

  ‘Is that what you’re trying to do?’ Mark demanded. ‘After everything I said about my kids?’

  ‘It wasn’t the kids you were kissing, it was her.’

  ‘A peck on the cheek is nothing. And if it keeps her happy and stops her from taking off with the kids again, what’s wrong with that?’

  ‘Are you still sleeping with her?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You heard me.’

  ‘Are you having a fucking laugh?’

  ‘No, I want to know,’ Jenny said firmly. ‘You said I was special, so I’ve got a right to ask. Or maybe I should just go and ask Amy? I’m sure she’d tell me the truth.’

  ‘You stay away from Amy,’ Mark warned her angrily. ‘And I’d better not catch you anywhere near my house again, neither.’

  ‘If you came round when you said you were going to, I wouldn’t have to come looking for you,’ Jenny retorted sulkily.

  Mark had heard enough. She was acting like a jealous wife and it was freaking him out. ‘I’m out of here,’ he muttered, turning and heading for the door.