Broke

by Mandasue Heller

  ‘Mark? Is that you?’

  Flooded with relief when he whispered, ‘Yeah . . . hurry up and let me in,’ she quickly pulled the bolts back.

  ‘Where have you been?’ she demanded as she yanked the door open. ‘I’ve been worried si—’

  The word froze in her mouth when she found herself looking into Yates’s eyes. She tried to slam the door in his face, but when he stuck his foot in the gap and gave it a hard shove, she lost her footing and toppled over.

  Yates strolled calmly in, locked the door behind him and pocketed the key. ‘I take it he’s not back yet?’

  ‘No.’ Amy pushed herself away from him with her heels and stood up. ‘And I don’t know where he is, so you might as well go.’

  ‘I’ll go when I’m good and ready,’ Yates drawled, walking over to the table and helping himself to a cigarette.

  Amy edged towards the door as he lit up, but just as she was about to dart out into the hall Yates pulled out a chair and banged its feet down hard on the floor.

  ‘Sit.’

  Amy shook her head. He was ugly, and the blotches on his face made him look like he had some kind of disease. But it was his eyes that really spooked her; as pale as ice – and twice as cold.

  ‘I’ve already told you Mark’s not here. And I’ve got no money, so you’re wasting your time.’

  ‘We’ll see,’ said Yates, sitting on the chair himself and putting his feet up on the table. ‘If you don’t wanna sit with me, you might as well put the kettle on.’

  Amy saw dog shit on the sole of one of his trainers and said, ‘Can you take your feet off my table, please? My kids have got to eat their breakfast there in the morning.’

  Yates chuckled softly. ‘Tell you what, darlin’, I’ll do you a deal. You make us that cuppa, I’ll put me feet down.’

  Amy didn’t want him in her house, but she sensed it was more of an order than a request. She just hoped he would go once he’d had his drink.

  With her back turned as she filled the kettle at the sink, she heard a thud behind her and twisted her head to see what he was doing. Her heart lurched when she saw a small black cosh lying on the table where his feet had just been.

  And then she noticed his gloves.

  ‘Wh-what are you going to do?’ she stammered.

  ‘Haven’t decided yet.’ Yates shrugged. ‘Depends how welcome you make me feel. See, I’m big on all that you-scratch-mine-and-I’ll-scratch-yours stuff – if you get me drift?’

  Amy was near to tears, and her heart was hammering in her chest. ‘Please just go,’ she croaked. ‘I swear I don’t know where Mark is, and this has got nothing to do with me. M-my kids are upstairs.’

  ‘Mmmm.’ Yates smiled. ‘Pretty little girl, that. Takes after her mummy.’

  When Amy’s chin started wobbling and the tears spilled over, Yates frowned. ‘What you fuckin’ crying for? I ain’t even done nothing yet. Pisses me right off, that does.’

  ‘You’re scaring me,’ Amy admitted. ‘You’ve already beaten Mark up, so why can’t you just leave it at that?’

  Yates pulled a face. ‘Nah, it don’t work like that. See, when I lend someone my hard-earned money, they agree to pay me back on time. And when they don’t, I have to punish ’em. It’s all part of the contract.’

  ‘But Mark’s the one who owes you, not me,’ Amy reminded him tearfully.

  Yates sat back and raked his gaze down her body as he took another deep pull on his cigarette.

  ‘You’re not a bad-looking bird, you. Bit fat, but that’s to be expected when you have kids at your age. How old are you, anyhow? Seventeen . . . eighteen?’

  ‘Twenty-one.’

  ‘Don’t look it.’ Still staring, Yates took another deep drag on his fag and blew a smoke ring. ‘Tell you what, darlin’ . . . forget the tea, you can give us a suck instead.’

  ‘What?’ Amy’s mouth fell open with shock.

  ‘You heard,’ said Yates, already unzipping his jeans as he stood up.

  ‘No!’ Horrified, Amy backed towards the door. ‘That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting.’

  The smile disappeared from Yates’s face and he stabbed the cigarette down on the tabletop. ‘I’m offering you a way out here, and if you want me to keep on being nice I suggest you do as you’re fuckin’ told.’

  Amy carried on backing away. When she banged into the wall, she dived to the side, dodged him and ran to the back door.

  ‘Forgetting something?’ Yates took the key out of his pocket and dangled it in the air.

  ‘I’ll scream,’ Amy spluttered when he pulled out his cock and started stroking it.

  ‘And I’ll cave your head in,’ Yates warned, his stare boring crazily into her. ‘Don’t think the little ’uns will be too happy when they come down for brekky and find Mummy chopped up on the kitchen floor, will they?’

  Unable to move when he pressed himself up against her and started pawing at her breasts, Amy squealed and tried to slap his hands away. But, as thin as he was, Yates easily overpowered her, and she gagged when he clamped his mouth over hers and slithered his foul-tasting tongue between her teeth. She tried to force her knee up between his legs, but he just jerked his hips back and laughed.

  ‘Wanna play rough, do we? Okay, my turn!’

  When he headbutted her, Amy saw stars, her legs buckled, and she dropped to the floor like a sack of flour.

  ‘Now quit playing hard to get and we might still be friends when we’re finished,’ Yates said throatily as he climbed on top of her.

  ‘No,’ Amy groaned, groggily moving her head from side to side as she felt her jeans being tugged roughly down over her thighs. ‘Please don’t . . . Please . . .’

  ‘Oh, yeah, baby, you just keep on begging,’ said Yates, pushing her legs apart.

  Amy clamped her eyes shut and screamed a silent scream when he entered her roughly. Her head smashed against the bottom of the door with every thrust, and she felt like her insides were being ripped to shreds. Finally, after ten agonising minutes, Yates stiffened and a strangled squealing sound came out of his mouth before he collapsed on her and panted his rancid breath all over her face.

  When his heart had slowed, Yates lifted himself up on his fists. ‘Look at me.’

  Tears streaming from her closed eyes, chest heaving with silent sobs, Amy shook her head.

  ‘I said, look at me,’ he repeated, grasping her face in his hand.

  It hurt so much that Amy was forced to obey.

  ‘Don’t be scared,’ Yates said softly when he saw the fear in her eyes. ‘You’re mine now, and I look after mine.’

  Amy’s face crumpled all over again, but this time she couldn’t keep the noise inside and a howl slipped out.

  Yates put his hand over her mouth. ‘You wanna wake the kids up? Want them to come down and see you like this? Want them to think I’m some kind of bad man?’

  Amy bit down hard on her lip and shook her head.

  ‘Say it,’ Yates ordered, squeezing her mouth into a pucker. ‘Say, no, Lenny . . . you’re not a bad man . . . Come on. I wanna hear you.’

  ‘No, Lenny,’ Amy mumbled. ‘You’re n-not a b-bad man.’

  ‘And we’re gonna have a nice time.’

  ‘And . . . and we-we’re gonna have a good time.’

  ‘Nice time! Get it right.’

  ‘Nice time.’

  Yates grinned and pushed himself off her. Then, reaching for her hand, he hauled her to her feet and pressed her up against the door.

  ‘I like you, so I’m gonna trust you to behave yourself,’ he said, gently brushing her hair back off her face. ‘But if I find out you’ve betrayed me, it won’t just be you I’ll be fucking, it’ll be her upstairs an’ all. You get me?’

  Amy’s insides gave way and hot piss streamed down her legs. Yates looked down when he heard it and smiled slyly.

  ‘Yeah, you got it,’ he drawled, letting her go. ‘Now hurry up with that brew, ’cos I’ve got a party to get to.’

  1
2

  Two weeks later, Amy dropped the kids off at school and then scuttled home without stopping to chat to any of the other mothers like she usually would have. She couldn’t face them: she felt too dirty, and she was convinced that they would be able to see her sins in her eyes.

  She still hadn’t heard from Mark, and every day that passed she became more convinced that something terrible had happened to him. None of his friends had seen him, and he hadn’t been back to his mum’s. It was as if he had just vanished off the face of the Earth. He might never have been as hands-on a dad as she’d have liked, but he did love the kids, so she couldn’t believe he would abandon them like this. But he hadn’t even called to ask if they were okay, and that wasn’t like him at all.

  She suspected that Yates had caught up with him and done something awful, and she had picked up the phone on numerous occasions. But she was never brave enough to press the 9 for the third time, too scared of Yates finding out and carrying out the threat he’d made against Cassie. Even if the police picked him up, with only her word to go on they wouldn’t be able to hold him for long, and then she really would be in trouble.

  Yates had been coming every night, letting himself in with the key he’d stolen and then raping her. Amy had found a way of switching off while he was actually doing it, but it wasn’t so easy when he’d gone and she was left alone with her thoughts. She put on a brave face for the kids’ sake, but she was sinking deeper and deeper by the day.

  When she reached her road now, she put her head down and rushed past Marnie’s house. Dismayed when Marnie waved at her through the window, she pretended she hadn’t seen her and rushed up her own path. But Marnie came out before she’d had a chance to put her key into the lock.

  ‘Oi! Not so fast!’ Marnie pulled her door shut and climbed over the small fence. ‘I’ve been trying to catch you all week, but you never answer the door. Have you fallen out with me, or what?’

  ‘No, I’ve just been busy,’ Amy lied.

  ‘Well, you’re not busy now, so you can make me a brew, can’t you?’

  ‘I’ve got no milk.’

  ‘I’ll have it black.’

  Marnie pushed her inside and herded her up the hall into the kitchen. Mouth dropping open when she saw the mountain of dishes in the sink, the rubbish all over the ledges, and the black bags heaped up beside the bin, she said, ‘Fuck a duck, girl, it looks like a bomb’s exploded in here. And what’s that horrible smell?’

  ‘Bobby’s been pooing his pants, so I’ve had to put him in nappies,’ Amy admitted, blushing as she filled the kettle.

  ‘And you’re keeping the dirty ones in here – where you eat?’ Marnie wrinkled her nose. ‘Not being funny, hon, but don’t you think you’d best put them in the wheelie bin before you get mice, or cockroaches, or something?’

  ‘I’ve lost the back-door key. Anyway, no one asked you to come round so, if you don’t like it, go home.’

  ‘I’m your best mate. I’m worried about you.’

  ‘Well, there’s no need.’ Amy wiped her nose on her sleeve. ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘You don’t bloody look it,’ Marnie said bluntly. ‘And what’s with the curtains being shut all the time? Are you hiding from someone?’

  ‘Everyone’s too nosy round here,’ Amy replied frostily. ‘I’m sick of being watched.’

  ‘No one’s watching you.’ Marnie sat down and gazed worriedly up at her. ‘I could bloody kill Mark for what he’s doing to you, babe. You deserve so much better.’

  Amy bit down on the inside of her cheek as a tear spilled over and trickled down her cheek. Swiping it away with the back of her hand, she turned when the kettle switched off. She poured boiling water into Marnie’s cup, then mashed at the tea bag with a spoon that had bits of cereal stuck to it.

  ‘Amy, talk to me,’ Marnie implored. ‘Scream, shout, do whatever you want, so long as you let it out, ’cos it’s not good to bottle things up like this – for you, or the kids.’

  ‘The kids are fine.’

  ‘No, they’re not. I’ve seen their faces when they walk past, and they look as miserable as sin.’

  ‘They’re missing Mark. What do you expect?’

  ‘I’m sure they are, but you’re not exactly helping them to come to terms with it, are you? It must feel like a bloody prison in here. They need fresh air.’

  ‘They get it at school.’

  ‘They need to play out in their own back garden, with their own toys,’ Marnie insisted. ‘When was the last time you let them out, ’cos I haven’t seen them?’

  ‘I’ve lost the key,’ Amy repeated irritably. ‘And there’s nothing for them to come to terms with, so stop trying to make out like Mark’s abandoned them. He’ll be back. He might be on his way right now, for all you know.’

  Marnie felt really sorry for her friend, but there was no point beating around the bush. Amy needed to be told straight, or she was never going to get over him.

  ‘He’s not coming back,’ Marnie said quietly. ‘And I really wish I didn’t have to tell you this, but you need to know.’ She paused and licked her lips. ‘He’s got another woman.’

  ‘What?’ Amy’s head shot up as her heart fell through the floor. She turned round, her hands clutched to her breast.

  ‘It’s true,’ Marnie said regretfully. ‘I’m so sorry, hon. I didn’t want to tell you, but I can’t just sit back and watch you make yourself ill over him. He’s shacked up with some tart called Jenny. And I only found out yesterday, so please don’t think I’ve been hiding it from you.’

  ‘Jenny?’ Amy repeated blankly.

  Marnie shrugged. ‘That’s all Gemma told me. She’s mates with the mum of some girl called Fiona who used to go to your school, and she told her. They’re supposed to have been at it for years.’ She took a deep breath before adding, ‘The girl reckons it started on the night of your wedding reception.’

  Amy shook her head. It wasn’t possible. She’d have known if Mark had another woman, she’d have seen the signs.

  As she was frantically trying to convince herself that it wasn’t true, an unwelcome memory leapt into her mind.

  Amy in her wedding dress, crying with pain and shouting for Mark . . . Mark rushing in with lipstick on his cheek . . . Ginger Jenny coming in a few seconds later, flustered and bright red in the face.

  ‘No . . .’ she moaned. ‘He wouldn’t. Not her.’

  ‘Do you know her?’ Marnie asked, feeling guilty for having been the bearer of such horrible news.

  ‘Not really,’ Amy said sickly. ‘She was just some girl who went to our school. No one liked her, ’cos she was a massive suck-up. And she was dead ugly. And ginger. There’s no way Mark would go near her.’

  So why was he outside at the same time as her at the wedding reception?

  Amy gritted her teeth and tried to force the thought out of her mind. But it wouldn’t go, and she felt the tears building afresh in her eyes and the scream bubbling up in her throat.

  ‘Can you go now, please?’ she said, struggling to contain her emotions. ‘I’ve got things to do.’

  ‘Babe, don’t push me out,’ Marnie said quietly. ‘I’m only telling you what Gemma told me.’

  ‘You should know better than to listen to her gossip,’ Amy snapped. ‘Mark wouldn’t do that to me – not with a skank like her.’

  ‘So, where is he?’ Marnie raised an eyebrow. ‘And who is he with if he’s not at his mum’s or with any of his mates? He can’t have just disappeared into thin air.’

  Amy couldn’t answer that, but right now she’d have preferred it if Mark had just disappeared. In all the agonising she’d been doing, it hadn’t even crossed her mind that he might be with another woman. Dead, yes, but cheating . . .?

  ‘You haven’t half gone pale,’ said Marnie. ‘I hope you’re not thinking of doing anything stupid.’

  ‘Just go.’

  ‘Not till you talk to me. I’m your friend – I want to help.’

  ‘Well, you can’t.
’

  ‘Not if you won’t let me, no. But you can’t keep on like this. You’re a mess, and the kids are suffering. It’s not fair.’

  Amy’s nostrils flared and she glared at the floor.

  Marnie sat forward and looped her hands together on the tabletop. ‘Look, I know you’re probably going to tell me to mind my own business, because you would have told me if you wanted me to know. But why don’t you just forget about Mark and concentrate on your new boyfriend?’

  ‘What?’ Amy gaped at her.

  ‘I’ve seen him letting himself in of a night,’ Marnie admitted. ‘And before you say anything, I wasn’t being nosy, and I haven’t told no one. Mark’s gone, so you can do what you want. And if the new fella makes you happy, I’m pleased for you.’

  ‘You haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about,’ said Amy. ‘But you’re right, it’s none of your business. Now get out.’

  ‘Okay, have it your way.’ Marnie flapped her hands in a gesture of helplessness and stood up. ‘You know where I am if you need me.’

  When she’d gone, Amy sank to the floor and sobbed her heart out. But as the raw aching pain began to subside, an icy anger crept in to take its place. She couldn’t believe that Mark would cheat on her with an ugly bitch like Ginger Jenny. But there was only one way to find out: she would have to go round there and see for herself.

  She refused to give Gemma more gossip to spread by asking her for the bitch’s address, so she rang Steve instead. His phone had gone straight to answerphone every time she’d tried to call him recently, and when it did it again now she figured that he must be screening his calls in order to avoid talking to her. Which could only mean one thing: that he knew where Mark was.

  Plan formulating in her mind, Amy called her mother.

  ‘Well, blow me down,’ Sonia said sarcastically when she heard her voice. ‘To what do I owe this pleasure?’

  ‘Sorry, I know it’s been a while,’ Amy apologised. ‘I’ve been meaning to call for ages, but things have been a bit difficult.’