by Alice Raine
Leaning to the side so she could see round me again, she stared over my shoulder for a second before focusing her eyes back on mine.
‘He could barely take his eyes off of you. Ho-ly. Shit. Cait.’ Her response was drawn out, as if each separate word was its own sentence, then blinking back to reality she jerked her thumb toward the back of the gallery. ‘We need to talk. Right now.’
As we made our way towards a quiet corner, I was suddenly stopped by a hand on my wrist, and my first thoughts were that it was Jack again. ‘Hey, beautiful. You seem to be empty-handed. Can I get you a drink?’ That wasn’t Jack’s voice, and instinctively I felt my entire body tense as I tried, and failed, to get my wrist back. Turning my body, I had to look up to see the face of my unwanted companion because he was surprisingly tall, but I recoiled even more as panic swiftly gripped me – I didn’t recognise him, but the stranger had exactly the same colour hair as Greg, and the memories it jerked in my brain immediately made me want to vomit.
‘Get off me,’ I demanded, hoping he didn’t hear the slight desperation in my voice.
My breathing had risen to short, sharp pants, but seeing the frown settle on his brow as he looked towards my hands I glanced down and realised belatedly that he had already let go. How embarrassing. My mind had gone into overdrive and as a result I was overreacting and had been on the verge of making a scene in the middle of this fancy gallery.
‘I just wondered if you wanted a drink,’ he said defensively, now looking decidedly like he wanted to get away from me, and to be honest I couldn’t really blame him.
‘I … uh … sorry. I have to go,’ I mumbled, stepping back and spinning in the direction that Allie had gone. God, I felt like a wreck. Seeing a server with a tray of champagne, I swiped two with my trembling hands and handed one to Allie as I joined her.
Apparently oblivious to my close encounter she leant forward with her eyes twinkling. ‘Jack Felton? I want details, woman,’ she said, her face a mixture of concern, excitement, and downright shock.
Trying to settle myself, I thought back to Jack and how best to explain it all. Starting at the beginning I recounted my run-in with him in the park weeks ago, and went on to explain about the night at the theatre where the hostel girls had been celebrity spotting. I told Allie how I’d sat on the side-lines until Jack had literally vaulted off the red carpet and persuaded me to go for a drink with him. The vaulting part had caused Allie to squeal almost gleefully.
When I finished my story by giving her the details of how he nearly kissed me and how I’d nearly let him, Allie downed half of her champagne and stared at me with huge eyes.
‘So why did you stop him?’ she asked quietly, but the tone of her voice told me she already understood.
Blinking slowly, I sighed and looked at her with a resigned expression. ‘Same old reason,’ I whispered. Allie touched my shoulder supportively and gave a small, sad smile. ‘Yeah, apparently all that counselling hasn’t exactly cleared up my issues with men,’ I summarised, trying to keep my tone as light as I could.
Allie nodded, but I could see the underlying disappointment in her features. To be honest, I was disappointed in myself. I’d not been remotely interested in any man for years, but last week some part of me had actually wanted Jack to kiss me – perhaps even wanted more – and yet I’d stopped him.
Giving me a playful nudge in the ribs, Allie winked at me. ‘Well, knock me down with a feather. Cait Byrne went out for drinks with a man. I never thought I’d see the day,’ she joked, apparently noticing how I was mentally beating myself up and trying to lighten the mood.
Nodding, I allowed myself to swivel marginally and scan the room for Jack. He was now standing with Sean involved in what appeared to be a rather jovial conversation because the two of them were both grinning broadly.
‘He’s a good looking guy,’ Allie murmured, mirroring my own thoughts. ‘He looks a bit older than Sean. Is he?’
Nodding, I sighed and turned away from him again. ‘Yeah, but not by much. I think he’s nearly forty. To be honest, I didn’t really think I’d ever see him again,’ I remarked quietly. For my sanity it would probably have been better if I hadn’t.
‘He’s got that calm, handsome maturity thing going on. I can see why you like him.’
Defensive instinct very nearly had me claiming that I didn’t like him, but that would have been a lie. From what I’d learnt about him the other night, which admittedly was limited, I did like Jack, and there was no denying that I was attracted to him, but what it really came down to was one single fact – I was scared.
Scared of opening myself up to the vulnerability of getting hurt again, scared that he might treat me like Greg had, but mostly, scared to give up the fierce independence that I’d built up over the last four years.
I would no doubt get emotional if I confessed those feelings to Allie, which wouldn’t be ideal in the middle of a swanky gallery, so instead I closed the door on them – something I was particularly good at – and grinned at her.
‘How crazy have our lives become? You dating Sean Phillips, and me getting asked out by Jack Felton!’
The mouthful of champagne that Allie was currently sipping was suddenly spraying very inelegantly from her mouth and dribbling from her nose. ‘He asked you out?’ she hissed, frantically wiping her face with the serviette in her hand.
‘Uh … yes. I might have left that part of the story out,’ I admitted with a small smile.
‘You definitely bloody did leave that part out!’ Getting rid of her empty glass and scrunched up napkin, Allie turned back to me with raised, expectant eyebrows, so with a roll of my eyes I filled her in.
‘At the bar he said he’d enjoyed himself, and asked if we could meet up before I left. I said no. Then, later in the car when he dropped me back at the hotel he asked me to go for lunch with him the following day.’ I gave a casual shrug, as if getting asked out by a movie star (twice) was a regular, run-of-the-mill occurrence.
‘And you obviously said no again,’ Allie concluded, looking thoughtful. After a few seconds, she chewed on her lower lip and then took my hand, giving it a squeeze. ‘Do you not think that maybe it’s time to try and trust a man again?’ she asked gently. ‘I know what Greg did to you was evil, but that’s the past now. Travelling has been so good for you, Cait, you’re so much stronger.’ But even with her soft approach and complimentary words I felt my throat tightening.
‘I know …’ I agreed. I was stronger in my confidence and mental attitude, but still, this was Jack Felton we were talking about. ‘You’re right, and I have moved on. Actually, the way I felt with Jack was kind of an eye-opener – I’d almost thought I’d never feel a connection with a man again.’ Turning my gaze across the room, I caught a brief glimpse of him posing for a photograph with Sean, their faces illuminated by the flash of the camera, both looking composed and handsome beyond words.
My stomach tightened as I watched him, but shaking my head, I looked back at Allie. ‘But he’s hardly an ideal target for my first steps back into dating, is he? It’s unlikely that a man with such a busy career would be looking for anything more than a quick fling, and seeing as I have cartloads of baggage, not to mention how inexperienced I am, that’s not exactly the type of guy I need.’ Suddenly, a chuckle rose in my throat. ‘Not forgetting the fact that he’s a flipping movie star and I’m a travelling hippy searching for my destiny.’
‘Hey, relationships with famous people can work out,’ Allie interjected defensively, and I only just refrained from commenting how her time with Sean hadn’t been hassle-free up to now and still wasn’t exactly on a smooth path.
Drawing in a deep breath, I composed myself and pushed my shoulders back. ‘I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet. Anyway, I need to work on lowering my defences and building up trust.’ Seeing Allie’s disappointed look I shook my head confidently. ‘It’s fine. I’m going to use this experience as a positive step in the right direction, maybe start to see
if I can build up some friendships with guys I meet travelling. Take it one step at a time.’
Narrowing her eyes, Allie finally gave in with an accepting sigh. ‘OK, I suppose you have a point. I think the idea of getting some male friends is a really good one.’
Allie and I continued our conversation, gradually drifting away from me and towards the subject of Savannah and Sean. Allie said she was fine with the fact that Savannah was due to arrive at the gallery at any point, but as time wore on, I could see her eyes flicking towards the door whenever anyone entered, and couldn’t help but worry about how my friend would cope with this first, real life sighting of her boyfriend’s fake fiancée.
I let out a small, dry chuckle at how strange our lives were. Allie was attempting to deal with the imminent arrival of a woman that she was basically considering as her competition for Sean, and I was almost thrumming with the knowledge that Jack Felton, movie star, and my recent new acquaintance, was standing somewhere in the same room as me.
‘I’m going to see if I can sneak a quick word with Sean. I’ll be back in a bit.’ Allie murmured, apparently keen to speak to him before Savannah arrived.
I wandered around the exhibits, rather drawn to some of the works but quietly appalled by others. The painting I was currently standing by was ghastly, not my taste at all, comprised of messy swirls of brown, red, and orange. In my mind it resembled an unwashed wall from a slaughterhouse.
The hideous painting distracted me so much that I didn’t even notice anyone coming up beside me until Jack’s low, raspy voice washed over me. ‘So, are you enjoying the exhibition?’ he queried softly, his sudden appearance making me jump.
Whipping my head around, I found him watching me intently, but still giving me space. The hairs on my arms stood up at his close proximity and I frowned, not liking the way my body kept reacting to his presence.
‘Uh … yeah, it’s great. Although this piece is a little …’ I stopped myself, cautious in case he somehow knew the artist.
Leaning closer, he grinned. ‘It’s monstrous, isn’t it?’ A relieved giggle rose in my throat and I nodded, sharing a small smile with him before turning my gaze away. This was crazy. My stomach was turning somersaults and I suddenly felt clammy and hot. Jack just made me feel things I wasn’t equipped to deal with, at all. Worse than that, he made me want things I wasn’t equipped to deal with. I really needed to create some distance between us, so perhaps if I just stayed quiet he’d eventually lose interest and move away.
Thankfully, Jack seemed more than happy to lead the conversation with small talk about the event and the pieces of art he most admired, most of which also appealed to my tastes, while I simply averted my eyes and studied the champagne flute clutched in my hand with great enthusiasm.
After several minutes where I had barely looked at him or uttered a single word, Jack paused. ‘I'm not that boring, am I?’ he remarked quietly, trying to draw my attention. Wincing, I knew my silence had probably come across as rude, but my politeness wouldn’t allow me to flat out ignore him no matter how strangely he made me feel, so taking a deep breath I summoned some inner courage, straightened my back, and looked straight at him.
I decided to do what I’d watched Allie do all night when conversing with celebrities: talk politely for a few minutes, boost their ego a bit with some flattery, and then escape. Probably to grab a large recovery vodka.
‘Not at all. Sorry, I’m just tired and my mind wandered off for a second.’ I knew I was being far less friendly than on the night we’d spent in the bar, but I was tense and my defences were up now. I needed to be cool, calm, and confident, avoid all talk of our near kiss, and then excuse myself from his company.
The near kiss. Oh, God. Why had I even thought about it? Because now it was all I seemed to be able to focus on. That and my vivid imaginings of what Jack would have been like, the feel of his breath whispering across my lips as he’d leant closer, the spicy, sweet smell of his aftershave, the way my body had instinctively wanted to lean into his, the gentleness with which his tongue might have explored my mouth …
‘You’ve gone rather pale, Caitlin, are you all right?’ Jack asked, breaking me from my trace with a jolt. Flicking my panicked eyes to his I found concern etched on his face as he studied me and I felt my cheeks flame.
I didn’t feel sick, but I could well believe that I might look it after those potent visions. Being here with him and trying to act nonchalant when my body was vibrating with the need to move closer to him was draining beyond all belief.
‘I'm just tired,’ I replied, and I really was. Tired of being an emotional freak. I still wasn't entirely sure why I felt like this towards Jack, but obviously nothing could, or would, ever come of it, so I really needed to find an excuse to move away from him.
As if answering my prayers for help, my phone suddenly started to ring in my handbag. Flashing an apologetic look at Jack, who looked slightly perturbed that I was even bothering with my phone when I had him to talk to, I dug it out and saw Julie’s number flashing up. My escape route. Thank God. I’d planned this phone call earlier tonight; my get-out plan in case the exhibition was dull or stressful and I’d needed a way to leave. The exhibition hadn’t been dull, far from it, but flashing another look at Jack’s devastatingly handsome profile, I swallowed hard. I definitely needed an escape route … just for different reasons than I’d expected.
‘I'm sorry, I have to take this …’ I mumbled, hoping I sounded apologetic. Jack frowned slightly, but almost immediately regained his manners, cleared his face, and nodded. ‘Of course.’
Almost sagging with relief, I turned away and accepted the call. ‘Hi, Julie,’ I said in a rushed breath, but before I could take a step away, I felt a hand on my lower back. My eyes immediately closed as a pleasant warmth shot up my spine, and I sucked in a huge lungful of air. How the hell did he do this? Instead of making me feel uncomfortable as physical contact always did, Jack’s touch somehow transferred a reassuring heat into my skin. I could almost say I was starting to enjoy it … which terrified me.
Turning to Jack warily, I saw him snatching back his hand and seeming to chastise himself for touching me as he bit back a curse. Frowning as I watched him shove his hands into his pockets, I swallowed hard as it became apparent that he’d remembered my anxiety towards physical contact.
I was fighting against the peculiar reactions that I had to Jack, but there was no denying it; at the five points where his fingers had been there were still fizzing tingles shooting across my skin, causing my already troubled thoughts to spiral. Glancing down at the phone still clutched in my hand, I heard Julie’s voice squawking through the hand piece and lifted it to my ear. ‘Hang on, I'll just be a second.’
There was no way I was hanging up. Julie was my route out of here and with my body reacting so strangely I knew I had to get away as fast as I could.
Now that I had paused, Jack dug into his jacket pocket, removed his wallet, and extracted what looked like a business card before holding it out to me. Wow. After refusing him already I hadn’t expected this move. He was certainly persistent, which really wasn’t helping with my determination to create distance between us. Staring mutely at the card, I noticed it was classy-looking, printed on thick, cream paper with simple black italics across the centre stating just his name and two phone numbers.
‘In case you need me for anything,’ he murmured. There seemed to be a strange twinkle in his eye as he spoke. Was he coming on to me? I had so little experience with dating, flirting, and seduction that I wasn’t sure. Maybe he was just used to being so attractive that women always made the first move and he found my reluctance a challenge? That idea annoyed me, and even though it was just my own assumptions, it instantly dulled any lingering curiosity.
Glancing at the business card still held in his outstretched hand, I schooled my features to be as blank as possible and looked to Jack’s face. His very, very handsome face. It almost killed me, but I levelled my voice and delive
red the best cut-off line I could manage.
‘I can’t see why I'd need you,’ I stated, then without accepting his card or even saying goodbye, I turned on my heel and strutted out of the gallery with the phone clutched in my hand and my heart racing behind my ribs.
Did I really just say that? To him?
By the time I finally put the phone to my ear again, Julie was calling my name loudly, trying to get my attention. ‘I'm here, sorry about that.’ I was speaking to Julie, all the while debating whether I’d just been incredibly rude, incredibly stupid, or perhaps both, by declining Jack’s number.
‘Your voice sounds funny,’ Julie said curiously. ‘Who were you just talking to?’
Images of Jack popped instantly into my mind and I struggled to push them away as I rolled my lips between my teeth almost to the point of pain. ‘No one. Thanks for calling, I’m outside now, so the call worked. I’ll pop by the hostel next week and see you for a cuppa at some point.’
‘OK. You sure you don’t need me to come and get you?’
‘Nah, I’ve got a cab number, but thanks, Julie.’
After I hung up, I took a few steps down the street before pausing and digging into my handbag for the emergency flip-flops I kept there. Easing my protesting feet from the ridiculously high heels I’d managed to survive in all evening, I let out a sigh of relief and sent Allie a text to tell her I was leaving.
Stepping into the trusty flats, I heard my phone beep almost immediately with a message from her telling me she was still intent on meeting Sean.
Dialling a cab number – a company that could guarantee a female driver if you requested one, which I always did – I stood gazing at the rush of cars speeding by and thought back over the last few minutes.
Had I really just walked away from Jack Felton, heartthrob and all-round sex symbol? A small bubble of near hysterical laughter rose in my throat as I recalled how I’d described him to Julie as ‘no one’. He was about as far from a ‘no one’ as you could get.
