by Alice Raine
The evening might have added more confusion to my already muddled emotions, but one thing was sure in my mind – from the almost violent way I’d reacted to his touch, it was clear that he would be way too easy to fall for. Nothing good could come of spending more time with Jack Felton. I was damaged goods. A freak. Nodding my head decisively, I leant against the wall to wait for my taxi, knowing I’d been sensible to walk away.
Jack
I hated events like this, full of stuck-up, prissy arseholes air-kissing the cheeks of their bitter rivals, fawning over directors in the hopes of landing the next big role, and basically being utterly obnoxious. Thank God Sean was here. At least that was one face I knew I could converse with normally.
After Caitlin’s abrupt departure, I stopped off at the bar to gather myself for a few minutes. I hadn’t in a million years expected her to be here – in fact, I hadn’t expected to ever see her again – and it had floored me. Completely. Not to mention how gorgeous she’d looked in that long, jade dress. As well as showing off her fabulous figure the colour had made her hazel eyes stand out and sparkle even more than usual. With her perfect posture, light make-up, and beautiful attire, she had screamed elegance and I’d been so desperate to get to know her better that I’d very nearly followed her out of there.
Fuck. I ordered a single malt whisky on the rocks and leant on the counter as I steadied my erratic breathing. That girl just kept getting better and better. The first time we’d met I’d liked what I’d seen and she’d only been wearing her sweaty gym gear. Then at the theatre she’d had on that tunic dress which had hinted at a toned body underneath it, but tonight in that sleek dress … Wow. Even with the thin shawl she’d used to cover her arms, there was no disguising how the dress clung to her figure, and it had been enough to get my imagination going wild. She might try to hide it, but now I knew for sure she had a fabulous figure. It had nearly done me in.
Frowning, I stared down at my drink and swilled the amber liquid slowly in the glass. She had rejected me. Again. And pretty harshly too. As I recalled her final goodbye to me, I winced. I can’t see why I’d need you. Christ, that had been a pretty big knock back.
Regardless of the battering my ego was taking at her hands, there was something about her that drew me in. It was a shame she obviously had some sort of issue with men. Or was it just me? That was an irksome thought that I didn’t like in the slightest. The other week in the bar when I’d placed my hand on her back, I’d felt her entire body freeze. It was almost as if she had been repelled by me, and the panicked tone in her voice when she asked me not to touch her had made me feel instantly guilty.
As I recalled tonight’s events, I relaxed marginally. It couldn’t just be me, because I’d watched a random man try to get her attention by taking hold of her wrist and I had seen the reaction again first-hand. Real fear had crossed her features for a second or two before she managed to gather herself, and then although she hadn’t looked scared, she’d definitely remained rigid and cold.
It was just as well he’d let go of her, really, because some possessive part of me had been on the verge of barrelling over there to intervene. She’d been fine a second or so later when a female server had brushed against her, so I could only deduce that something had happened to her to make her wary of men.
As much as she presented a challenge, that wasn’t what was drawing me to Caitlin. Her fragility was very endearing, making me want to take care of her, which was absurd because she could clearly do that herself, but still, it was there, a definite and powerful spark between us. I was almost certain Caitlin felt it too. I could see it in her eyes, and at the bar I’d known she’d wanted me to kiss her. Not that I was helping matters, because I kept on slipping up and touching her. I just couldn’t seem to help myself.
Sighing, I slung back the fiery liquid in my glass and ordered another. I hadn’t felt a connection like this in a very long time. If only Caitlin had been willing to open herself up and let us explore that connection. But that thought wasn’t worth dwelling on; she was off travelling soon so it was highly unlikely that I’d ever see her again. I’d lost my chance.
From the corner of my eye I could see a bleach blonde woman sidling her way along the bar towards me. Casting a brief glance in her direction, I saw fake breasts, a Botoxed brow, and some seriously white teeth. Crikey, those things were so bright they probably glowed in the dark. Time to make a break for it. Grabbing my glass, I pushed away from the bar and thanked all things holy when I saw Sean standing on his own by a high table staring out across the crowded room.
‘No plastic surgery. No enhancements. She’s not even got fake nails and Allie is still the most gorgeous woman here,’ he said, not even looking my way when I approached. Following his line of sight I saw Allie talking to a small group of people, none of whom I recognised.
Looking back at my friend, I raised an eyebrow at his smitten expression, but seeing as I also had one woman taking up residence in my mind, I could hardly criticize him for it.
I knew I shouldn’t pursue my unhealthy interest in Caitlin, but now I knew she was friends with Sean’s girlfriend, I didn’t seem to be able to help myself. ‘What do you know about her friend Caitlin?’ I enquired. Her surname was Byrne, I’d learnt that much from her name badge, but I wanted more. Knowing she’d be leaving soon, I begin to question just how sensible it was for me to indulge this line of questioning, but I couldn’t stop myself. Even knowing that it was bad to snoop, I found myself waiting for Sean’s reply with my breath held in anticipation.
Sean shrugged, finally turning his attention back toward me. ‘Allie’s talked about her a little, but I don’t know a great deal. They’re best friends but Cait’s been travelling the world for a while, so they decided to meet up here. I think she’s applied for a temp job at your studios, actually.’
That certainly got my attention, Caitlin might be staying here for work? The very idea caused the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. ‘Oh, really? What job?’ As hard as I tried to sound unaffected, I failed, and my voice came out an octave or two higher than usual as excitement began to pour through my veins.
‘No idea, mate, Allie didn’t say. I just remember her saying it was Dynamic Studios.’ Interesting, if Caitlin got a job at the studio then there was a high chance that I would get to see her again – regularly – and this news absolutely thrilled me to the core.
Perhaps I could ask Jason in recruitment which jobs were coming up. Rubbing at my chin I made a mental plan just in case I did see her – tread carefully, respect her space, and hope that she might learn to trust me. Somehow I had to make her trust me. The anticipation made my heart speed up. There was just something about that girl that made me desperate to get to know her.
Suddenly looking at me with narrowing eyes, Sean smiled knowingly. ‘Why so curious? Are you interested in her?’
Trying my best to feign a casual look, I shrugged and dug one hand into my pocket. ‘Perhaps. I’m certainly intrigued.’ Sipping my whisky, I relished the burn as it slid down my throat. ‘We bumped into each jogging a few weeks ago and got talking. I had no idea she was friends with Allie.’
‘She’s very pretty,’ Sean commented, giving me a playful punch to the shoulder as he wiggled his eyebrows. ‘And very young.’
I shrugged. ‘I have no idea how old she is, but we seem to get along well.’
‘I don’t know exactly, but she must be around Allie’s age. Twenty-seven or so.’
‘Hardly any worse than the gap between you and Allie then,’ I commented, aware that while a thirteen year gap didn’t bother me, it might well put Caitlin off. Not that she seemed interested in me, anyway. Although she had said her rejection of me had nothing to do with my being older, which gave me a flicker of hope.
‘You want me to ask Allie if her friend wants to go on a date with you?’ he joked, a broad, teasing grin spreading on his face.
Not rising to his bait, I sipped my drink and leant on the high bar table to my
right. ‘She doesn’t date.’
Sean’s expression lost some of its earlier playfulness. ‘You’ve already asked her out?’
It was a little hard on my ego to admit out loud that she’d turned me down, but Sean was a close friend, so I did, with a shrug. ‘Yep. She said no. Told me she doesn’t ever date.’
‘Wow. It’s been a while since you’ve shown interest in anyone, what’s changed?’
‘Just been too busy, and never felt enough of a connection to bother following anyone up. Work is beginning to ease now, and I felt a real spark with her.’ As much as I was trying to keep up my bravado, a small sigh slipped from my lips, giving away my frustration. ‘I thought it would have been fun to take her out, but she didn’t agree.’ I shrugged, trying to hide my bruised pride. ‘I was just curious about her.’
Before Sean could continue, I saw his eyes flash to the door and then close in a long, slow blink, accompanied by a low groan. ‘Here comes the circus. Let the acting begin. Wish me luck.’ Sean gestured to the door with a jerk of his chin. Following his line of sight, I saw Savannah Hilton making a grand entrance, tossing her hair over her shoulder and pouting like a trout at the cameras.
Savannah Hilton was a prime example of the kind of woman I detested the most – fake, greedy, and conceited, and I wondered how on earth his poor girlfriend would cope with the spectacle that was no doubt about to ensue.
‘Good luck. From the look on Savannah’s face, you’re going to need it.’
To my surprise, as I glanced at Savannah making her entrance I also saw Caitlin re-entering the bar with a frown on her face. She looked in a foul mood, but seeing as she was making a beeline for the coat cupboard, I could only assume she had left her jacket behind.
As much as I knew I shouldn’t, I couldn’t help myself from watching her. She handed her ticket to the woman behind the counter who then disappeared to get the jacket. Just a second or so behind Caitlin, a pair of men were staggering their way in her direction, also with their coat tickets in their hands. As I observed their progress, I watched in horror as the first guy tripped over his own feet and stumbled into Caitlin’s back.
From the way she’d responded to my touch, and with what I’d witnessed tonight, I knew this was going to freak her out, and sure enough, as the clumsy man’s hands landed on her shoulder and back to steady himself I saw her entire body go rigid. Swivelling on the spot, she practically recoiled into the wall in an attempt to get away, but the arsehole was so drunk that as Caitlin moved, he fell with her, basically cornering her.
As my feet began moving instinctively in her direction, I got a look at the pale, drawn expression on her face as she pushed uselessly against his swaying body. Her eyes were wild and unfocused and there was a sheen of sweat forming on her brow. She looked on the verge of a panic attack. The man’s friend was in hysterics by this point, apparently finding his mate’s drunkenness amusing, but I was the complete opposite, and felt murderous.
‘Get away from me,’ she ground out, causing the man to lift his head and grin blearily at her, but he still made no move to get away.
Not even bothering to stop and wonder if she wanted my help, I grabbed the collar of the guy’s suit and hauled him back, tossing him sideways into the opposite wall and glaring at him with my fists bunched at my sides.
‘She said get away, you bloody idiot.’ The man and his friend took one look at my furious face and staggered away giggling, leaving me to face Caitlin. She was frozen in place, leaning on the wall with her eyes closed, lips rolled tightly between her teeth, and one hand picking furiously at the elastic band on her wrist as she drew in long, shaky breaths. That bloody elastic band. I was tempted to rip it off, but instead, I tried to calm my temper.
The urge to pull a woman into my arms had never been stronger, but I resisted. Just. ‘Are you OK?’ I murmured softly, which caused her to jerk, open her eyes, and stare into the distance. She was basically non-responsive, the only movement in her body an occasional blink and the constant flicking of the elastic band.
‘Caitlin?’ Not wanting to touch her in case that fuelled her panic, I tried again, using a firmer tone, which would hopefully snap her out of it but not freak her out. ‘Caitlin? Look at me. Are you OK?’ My voice seemed to permeate her consciousness, and after drawing in several ragged breaths she blinked again, her eyes finally focusing and turning to me. God, she was as white as a sheet.
‘I … I am now.’ A loud swallow forced its way down her throat and she looked as if she finally realised it was me stood beside her. ‘Uh … Thank you. Looks like I did need you after all.’ She was stuttering slightly, but she certainly seemed calmer, and had attempted a vague use of humour, which was good.
‘Do you want me to see you home?’ I asked, half out of concern and half hoping that she might say yes and give us a little more time together.
‘No.’ Her response was immediate, and the tone harsh enough to make me wince and get the message – she wanted to get away from me pronto. ‘I mean … I’ll be fine, thank you.’ At that moment, the cloakroom attendant reappeared with a black jacket, which Caitlin accepted and slid into, folding her shawl over her arm. ‘I’d better go. Thank you again, Jack.’ And with that she was turning to leave. Again. What was it with this woman and walking away from me?
My stubborn ego just wouldn’t accept her repeated rejections, not when I knew I’d seen interest in her body language. She liked me, I was sure of it, but something was holding her back. Knowing this I just couldn’t let her go. I couldn’t. Every molecule within my body was screaming at me to follow her and make sure she really was OK. ‘Caitlin, wait …’
Her retreating figure tensed, then paused and slowly rotated toward me. My stomach sank when I saw that her eyes were almost blank again, clouded only with caution and fear as if she were still living through the encounter of a few minutes ago.
Her arms wrapped tightly around herself, making her look so defensive that I knew if I pushed her now then I would lose any future chance of getting to know her. Tensing my fists, I held back from moving towards her, and instead tried to smile at her reassuringly. ‘It was good to see you again. Goodnight.’
She gave one slow blink and a faint nod before turning and heading toward the door again. Letting her walk away was the hardest thing I’d done for a long time, but as Caitlin pushed through the exit, all I could do was stand there and let her go.
Allie
There was a definite possibility that my heart actually stopped for a few seconds when I saw Savannah Hilton, Sean’s wafer-thin, willowy, and utterly stunning co-star (and fiancée, as far as the world was concerned), as she elegantly entered the gallery and strutted straight through the crowd to join him. I say strutted because there is no other way to adequately describe the way that woman moved her hips. It was like liquid sex moving through the room.
Unable to tear my gaze away, I watched in sick fascination as her fingers immediately sought Sean’s hand and intertwined with his, but took some small satisfaction from noticing how his smile was tight and strained.
Letting out a long, loud sigh, I took a large swig of my champagne as I continued to watch them. Savannah looked beautiful, obviously. She did on screen and it seemed no different in real life. In fact, I suspected that if you knocked on her door at four in the morning, she would still look as perfectly groomed as she did now. Bloody bitch.
I instinctively found myself looking for any signs of chemistry between them. Savannah was certainly playing up nicely for the cameras, and seemed keen to be as close to Sean as physically possible, although she definitely looked a little edgy. Sean, on the other hand, was a wholly different story; his entire being radiated tension. Apart from the fact that he was allowing her to drape all over him, which irked me no end, he seemed completely ambivalent towards her.
A muscle flickered along his jaw as Savannah slipped her arm through his, wrapped her other across his stomach, and plastered herself to his side, and in response I felt m
y heartbeat rise with jealousy. Bitch. But why was he letting her touch him so intimately? Surely a cursory handhold would have been enough. But no, he was standing back while she practically humped him in public.
Narrowing my eyes I watched them closely, unable to tear my gaze away as they were approached by a photographer for some sort of interview. My observations were disrupted by a man who stepped almost right into my line of sight and beamed at me.
‘Hey, I’m Austin. I saw you standing on your own and wondered if you’d like a little company?’ I was about to knock him back but then I caught a glimpse of Sean looking our way, shooting the guy a death stare, and I paused. I’d never been one for manipulating situations to my advantage, and I’d certainly never considered the possibility of using one man’s advances to snare the attention of another … until now. Sean looked livid, barely managing to keep his attention on the photographer, but as mad as he might be, his flipping arm was still curled around Savannah’s waist and that was enough to spur me into being a little reckless.
‘Uh, OK, that would be nice,’ I said, smiling at the guy. He was good looking, if you liked them well preened and clean cut, but he was perhaps a little too groomed for my liking. His blond hair was parted and slicked back, chin cleanly shaven, and he had bright green eyes the colour of moss.
Over the course of the next few minutes, Austin managed to get closer and closer to me until the only way he could have closed the gap further would have been to actually climb on top of me. I tolerated it, because although it was immature (and not very fair) I hoped it was giving Sean a taste of his own medicine.
He’d touched my shoulder several times during our talk, and brushed his fingers on my forearm at one point, but I tensed when Austin slid a hand around my waist. This was getting a little beyond a casual flirt to make Sean jealous. The feel of Austin’s fingers lightly caressing my hip gradually increased in pressure until it made me feel so guilty that I actually felt a little sick.
