Love Spells and Other Disasters

by Angie Barrett

  “Hm.” He shifts his eyes to his plate, picks up his fork and knife, and starts attacking the food like it’s done something to offend him.

  And I stare at him, thinking that the world must have done a complete one eighty while I was at the mall—which is probably true since I was there with Abby—for Ethan to not have an opinion on anything I’ve said. His silence is unnerving.

  Which makes me irrationally angry, because of course that’s the only logical way to react to him.

  I cross my arms and lean back. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

  He keeps eating for another minute, just aggressively cutting away at his eggs and sausage, before stabbing both with his fork and shoveling it all into his mouth.

  I glare at him. He ignores me. I’m not even sure what exactly we’re fighting about.

  Fine. I pick up my own utensils, letting them clatter and clang together so he knows I’m annoyed, too. It’s going to be one of those nights.

  He puts his fork down with a clatter that’s somehow louder than mine. “So, let me get this straight.”

  I wince. That tone is either going to get me yelling back or put me in my place. He’s drilling me with the sourest of expressions and he’s counting off his points with his fingers.

  “First, you and your new BFF, Abby freakin’ Roxwell, have decided that your love spell project is a go because the spells work.”

  “They allegedly work,” I correct. “And, she isn’t my new BFF. I can’t stand—”

  He puts his hand up for me to stop interrupting. “Yeah, let’s pretend you didn’t just spend the afternoon with her at the mall when I’ve been begging to give you a makeover for years.”

  Any anger I had moments before deflates right then and there.

  He ticks off another finger. “Second, Luca Russo, who is one of the sexiest boys alive, flirts with you, rubs his body all over you, and then asks you out on a date. And you, Rowan Marshall, supposedly my best friend forever, failed to mention any of this to me in the last few hours, despite the fact that I was in the hallway with you immediately after your body rubbing experience?”

  He knows this is unfair. I started to gush about Luca in the hall but he told me to wait and dragged me back into the classroom. I couldn’t text him during class. Of course, I did ditch and skipped our lunch, which is usually when we catch up on all of our gossip. But by then I was too busy tugging a ton of bras on and off to do anything, let alone text him all the juicy details.

  I start to apologize. He cuts me off. “And now you’re going to a party at Malcolm Malone’s house, a house that you know I would cut my left nut off to see, not to mention the chance to hang out with the Malcolm himself, which would be…” He shivers. “Well, delicious for starters.”

  I sigh. He’s right. “I should have filled you in sooner. I should have forced you to listen in the hallway, then called during lunch.”

  “What’s that?” He cups his ear dramatically, then leans closer. “I didn’t hear you.”

  “I’m sorry. I was with Abby so just the proximity to her alone made my brain malfunction.” I try for a smile but his face is doing that twitchy thing that makes it look like he’s sucking on something sour. He’s definitely not in the joking mood. “Eth, I’m sorry, okay? Don’t be mad at me. I can’t handle you being mad with all the weird stuff going on.” And it’s all super weird, unbelievable stuff. Luca asked me out on a date! I mean, it’s like all the stars have aligned or something. Wait…did I just think that? I’m seriously freaking myself out here. Mom’s been rubbing off on me.

  He picks up his fork again and resumes eating. “I waited for you at our table in the café. I sat there all by myself.” He finishes what’s on his plate, then picks up another piece of toast and continues chewing. His jaw is working so hard that I think it’s going to crack. “You know how much I hate that.”

  I do know. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. Even ten minutes of sitting alone in the café is too much. I should have paid more attention to the time and made sure I got away from Abby and Mel long enough to call him. “And I’m sorry about the party. I know this is something we always thought we’d do together.”

  “You two need a refill on the coffee?” Kelly, the waitress who always serves us, comes up with a steaming pot of coffee in her hand.

  “Yes, please.” Ethan loves Kelly, says she’s the epitome of the classic waitress archetype. Middle aged, overworked, perpetually tired, and if you catch her on a good day, slapping everyone with witty one-liners that are comedy show gold.

  Tonight, though, she just looks tired and sick of everyone’s crap. She tops up Ethan’s cup then moves on to the next table.

  “Fine, I accept your apology as long as you promise not to do it again.”

  “I promise.” I have absolutely no desire to repeat quality time with Abby at the mall ever again.

  “We were both out of the room when your spell took effect.” Ethan is thinking exactly what I had been thinking hours ago. “That’s what you mean when you said it ‘allegedly’ worked, right?”

  “Abby sent you out to find me. So neither of us saw Will and Amanda actually start talking. Abby could have set it up. And who knows with Mel—that girl could get anyone she wants. I don’t think she needed a spell.”

  “Exactly.” He leans in. “Which is why we have to test it again. Prove it doesn’t work once and for all.”

  “Prove it how?” My stomach drops right down to my toes. If it does work, then what? If it doesn’t work, then I have to convince Abby somehow to change our project.

  Kelly walks by. He sits back and nods in her direction. “Do one for Kelly. I bet she needs some love in her life.”

  I watch Kelly as she walks behind the counter. “Kelly and who?” This is defeat talking and it feels worse than getting a bad grade on an assignment. If this is going to happen, might as well let Ethan call the shots.

  He follows my gaze, then continues looking, past Kelly to… “Big Dave.” He points with his toast to the kitchen area.

  Big Dave is the cook in the back who is mostly a disembodied voice, shouting orders when things get really busy.

  “I’ve seen them flirt with each other.”

  “You have not.” I force myself to sit up even though it takes gargantuan effort. I lean my elbows on the table. “And that’d hardly be an accurate test if you had.”

  “Okay, fine, I’ve thought about what a cute couple they’d make, haven’t you?”

  “Ethan, I can’t just do a spell on two people like that.”

  “Why not? You did it on Will and Amanda didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, but Abby got pieces of their hair.” I shake my head. “According to the spell book, it won’t work if I don’t have something from them.” I think. “Otherwise one of them would have to do the spell for it to work. Like, be in on it. I doubt that Kelly or Big Dave would agree to recite some words and burn a piece of paper. If we’re testing this for real, then we need to replicate the process. We’d need to get something personal from each of them. Or we could just forget it and go home, watch a movie or something.” Please choose that option.

  “I’m curious, aren’t you?” Ethan scans the restaurant, narrows his eyes, then seems to come up with something. “Okay, you write the spell, I’ll get you what you need.”

  Crap. “I can’t—”

  But he’s up and walking before I can say another word. I glance over my shoulder to see him slipping past the swinging door that leads to the back of the restaurant.

  Resigned to my fate, I open my bag and pull out the spell book and my notepad.

  I start scribbling some ideas down featuring Big Dave and Kelly. By the time Ethan slides back into our booth, he’s got two different colors of hair. Black and red. Big Dave and Kelly. And I have a complete crush spell that will get Kelly and Big Dave stealing a kiss for all
to see.

  “Now what?”

  I wrap the spell around the hair, then hand it to him. “Go burn this outside.”

  “I have to burn it?” He reluctantly takes the wrapped up hair. “Like, with fire?”

  I roll my eyes. “It’s your idea, so yes, you have to do it. Light it on fire and burn it to ash.”

  “That’s it?”

  I shrug. “That’s what the book says to do. That’s what supposedly worked with Amanda and Will.”

  “Okay.” Ethan mirrors my shrug. Then he beelines for Kelly. “Do you have a lighter I can borrow?”

  Kelly turns around as she dries her hands on a towel. “Sure, honey.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a lighter. “You’re not going to burn this place down are you?” She leans forward as she hands Ethan the lighter. “Actually, go ahead, burn the place down. I need a vacation.” She winks and smiles.

  Ethan laughs. “I’m not the felony type.” He waves the lighter. “I’ll bring it back in a few.” As he walks past me he says, “Maybe we’ll get some heat happening up in here.”

  I shake my head and surprise myself by laughing as he walks to the window next to our booth and makes a big show of lighting the spell. This is such a bad idea and yet I can’t help thinking that at least it’s a bad idea that I’m doing with Ethan. He lets it burn to his fingertips before mouthing the word ouch, then drops it to the ground. He raises his eyebrows and I nod. Yeah, that’s it.

  “Brrrr, it’s so chilly out there!” He slides back into the booth. “How long does it take?”

  “With Amanda and Will, it happened before I got back from the bleachers. So pretty fast, I guess?”

  We wait. Ten minutes goes by. Kelly is super busy delivering meals. Big Dave is super busy barking at her that orders are up. I’m not going to lie—anxiety is twining through my body and I don’t know if it’s because I want the spell to work or I don’t.

  It’s more than ten minutes later when Kelly finally whips into the back and out of sight.

  “Crap!” Ethan jumps out of his seat so he can see through the large pass-through window where Big Dave puts the plates of food.

  I get up, too, just in time to see Kelly move past Dave, their bodies brushing against each other.

  I hold my breath. Ethan takes my hand and squeezes. Big Dave grunts something, then turns and him and Kelly are front to front and staring into each other’s eyes like they’ve never seen each other before.

  “Oh…my…” Ethan whispers.

  It’s like we can feel the chemistry ignite. It’s heavy in the air around us. I feel the goose bumps rise on Ethan’s arm and I shiver as anticipation swells inside of me.

  Dave leans down and kisses Kelly at the same time that he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her up and into him. She’s got her hand in his hair and her legs wrapped around his hips a second after that. She lets out a half sigh, half moan.

  Ethan yanks me closer to him, his eyes as bright as Christmas lights and his body vibrating like my phone on silent. “Do me next!”

  Chapter Seven

  Ethan doesn’t want a love spell, or a crush spell. He wants a friendship spell so he can get an invite to Malcolm’s party.

  “Cause, let’s be honest, I might be totally into him, but I don’t think Malcolm swings that way.” Ethan shrugs. “I mean, I could be wrong, and happily so, but I’m pretty sure he’s into girls.”

  I nod, pen in hand, trying to figure out how to work the thing so it doesn’t create a passion-fest like what’s going on in the back of the restaurant every time Kelly leaves the front.

  It’s a little freaky how well the spell is working. I don’t want to believe it, but the proof is right there in front of me. What are the odds a third random couple I wrote a spell for was already on the verge of getting together?

  Zero. Zero odds.

  “I thought you were against doing all this. Now you’re all in.”

  Ethan shakes his head. “I’m not asking for a marriage proposal, just an invite to a cool party. Friendship isn’t demanding like a romantic relationship is.” He taps his fingers on the table. “So make sure you’re doing this right. I don’t want Malcolm to do something he’s totally not into.”

  “You mean like Kelly and Big Dave?” I start to nibble on my thumb as I glance at the words I’ve already written.

  “Oh, please.” He waves his hand toward the back of the restaurant. “That was probably going to happen on its own. You just sped it up.” But even he looks a little skeptical. “If you were to ask me if I’m okay hooking up complete strangers, then my answer would be nope, no way. Can you imagine what your mom would think about all of this?”

  “She can’t find out.” I nail him with a promise you won’t spill look.

  He raises his hands and his expression screams, are you for real? “I’m not saying a word. If she finds out, it’ll be experiment city for you.” He pauses for a second. “It is pretty amazing, though. I mean, you’re able to make love spells work, Ro.”

  And still hard to believe. What is it about me that makes these spells work? My mom is into ghosts, but she’s never really tried anything with magic or spells involved. That I know of anyway. I brighten. “Hey, maybe it’s not just me. You should try writing one, see what happens.”

  But Ethan is already shaking his head emphatically. “Oh no, nuh-uh. I’m not taking responsibility for impacting someone’s life like that.” He waves at the pen and paper in front of us. “Sorry. This is all on you, my friend.”

  I scowl at him.

  Ethan reaches over and covers my hand with his. “It’s super cool, Ro. Freaky, too, I’m not going to lie, but you’re making magic work somehow so that’s kinda awesome.”

  It still doesn’t sit right. The spells I’ve written so far—there has to be a reason they worked. I can’t just be pulling feelings out of nowhere. Maybe Amanda and Will did like each other. And Mel and Andrew had met before so there was already some kind of connection. Big Dave and Kelly, too. Their hookup was bound to happen…maybe not at work like this, but still… “Well, I guess we’ll see what happens next.”

  Ethan taps the paper. “You’re going to make sure I get an invite to that party. That’s what happens next.”

  I purse my lips and get back to working on the spell. I’ve abandoned the rhyming scheme because it’s almost impossible to find a word that rhymes with platonic. I tweak one last line. “Here.” I shift the paper toward Ethan.

  He reads it silently, a slow smile creeping on his face. “So, what do I do with it?”

  “With this version, because you’re casting it, all you need to do is read it, light some white candles, and then burn it. That’s what Mel did.”

  Ethan folds the paper before slipping it into his jacket pocket. “Sounds easy.”

  “You kids ready to pay your bill?” Kelly slaps our bill down on the table. Her face is flushed and her hair is kinda a mess. “We’re closing up early tonight.”

  Ethan and I look at each other as she walks to the next table and does the same thing. Maybe the spell is working too well.

  We burst out laughing.

  …

  By the next day, word has spread. It’s quiet whispers, spurred on by Abby more than anyone else. The way Will and Amanda can’t keep their hands off of each other is certainly helping her cause. She’s got us an informal line-up of customers, aka her friends, many of them wanting dates for the big party tonight. We’re charging ten dollars a spell. Pure profit for us…er…for Mr. Tremmel’s charity. I mean, it’s not exactly brain intensive for me. I’ve been copying a variation of the same spell over and over again, just swapping out names for each new pairing.

  Mel is glowing—like, the smile hasn’t left her face since she walked into the library where our marketing/economics classes are once again united. “Andrew and I will swing by Ma
lcolm’s party later. He’s picking me up in his Porsche! Can you believe it? And we’re going out for dinner at his parents’ country club!”

  Abby gives her a hug. “That’s so awesome!” She looks over her shoulder at me and winks. “Another satisfied customer.”

  Mel takes the cue and turns to face the growing crowd. “That’s right, I am! Got my dream guy taking me out tonight!”

  A group of girls from a nearby table huddle their heads together for a minute after hearing Mel’s testimonial then they get up all at once and make their way over, ten-dollar bills in hand.

  I sigh. It’d be nice if Abby wrote out a spell or two. My hand is cramping, and I’m still not convinced it has to be me.

  “Oh, Mr. Tremmel!” Abby calls. “Just the teacher I need to speak to. I have our business plan here. Can you look it over?”

  And that’s when I remember her primary job: keeping Mr. Tremmel busy. We’re technically not supposed to be running our business yet. We still have today in the library for research. Our proposal has to be approved and then the big marketing/economics fair happens over a two-week period. We’ve got plans to get some props and decorations for our “booth,” which will cut into our profits a bit, but Abby says she has it under control. We’ll be up and running officially by Monday and then we can really start making money for Abby’s bribe…I mean…to save a bunch of stray cats or whatever, and hopefully get her a glowing reference letter.

  One of the girls waiting for me to finish her spell leans in to peek at what I’m writing. “You sure this will work?”

  “So far the spells seem to be working, but there’s no guarantee. This is all for fun anyway.” I try to sound like this is no big deal because: 1) Nothing has been proven that couldn’t have happened on its own or with help from Abby; 2) I find it hard to believe that there’s something super special about me that makes it possible for these spells to actually work because I wrote them. The odds of that are astronomically unlikely; and 3) So far in my strange life, there’s always a logical explanation for weird things that happen. I just haven’t figured this one out yet.