by Kait Gamble
Logan rolled his eyes. “What’s she got to say?”
“She wanted to spend some time together and wondered where I was.” Jackie lowered the phone to her side. “Why do you dislike Caroline so much?”
Logan snorted. “I think she dislikes me more than the other way around. What I don’t like is how you always jump when she calls. You always put her before everything else.”
Jackie bolted straight in her chair. “I did not.”
“It certainly seemed that way. I never felt as though I took precedence in your life.”
That hurt. Logan had been the center of her universe for a while. She’d planned her life around his just so they could spend a few more minutes together and here he was saying he didn’t feel loved?
It wasn’t like he tried too hard. Every chance he’d gotten he was away for work, or a conference, or a class or a project. She understood that he was driven and was proud at all he had accomplished, but she had been left on the sideline a lot of the time. Not once had she complained when he was off trying to fulfill his dreams.
“I wasn’t exactly a part of your world either, Logan.” She picked up her wrap and wound it around her waist securely. “I should get going. I need to see if Caroline’s okay and get ready for dinner.”
Logan frowned but he nodded. “I’ll see you there.”
She slid off he lounger and was about to leave, but she turned to nearly crash into his chest. He was going to walk her out. Jackie sighed. “You don’t have to walk me out.”
“What kind of gentleman would I be?” His words might have been blithe, but he still looked tense.
Jackie didn’t feel much better. What did she want out of this? She knew he was going to push to get what he wanted, but she wasn’t sure what that was. Perhaps he did want a relationship? It certainly felt that way. But what if it was just a tactic on his part? A game? She had been hurt by him once before. So badly.
On the other hand, they fit together so well. There hadn’t been another man Jackie had met that she meshed with as she did with Logan. The time they were spending together was only cementing that fact in her mind.
It would just be so easy to fall back into a relationship with him. They were older now. Things were definitely different. Could they make a go of it this time and make it work?
It would be so wonderful if they could.
Only they needed to talk. Really talk. Get everything out in the open and figure out where to go from there.
No more games.
Her phone buzzed again.
Only now wasn’t the time.
They had a few days. She would make the time to talk to him.
Jackie stopped when she reached the door. She turned to Logan and held his gaze. “We’ll sit down and talk. Soon.”
His smile was small and a bit grim, but he nodded. “We will.”
Chapter Nine
Jackie found Caroline, through a series of texts, waiting for her at the stairs to the secret beach. Her friend looked tiny and washed out in a simple white sun dress, staring forlornly at the greenery.
She seemed to snap out of her trance when she saw Jackie.
“Hey.” Caroline put away her phone and stared at her.
“What?” Jackie did her best to keep the guilt from her face.
Her friend crossed her arms. “Where were you this time?”
“Exploring the hotel?” It was true enough. Why was Caroline being so confrontational?
“And Logan wasn’t anywhere near you, right?”
“Why would that matter?”
Caroline pointed accusingly. “I knew it! He’s gotten to you!”
Jackie scrubbed her hand over her face. “Is that why you called me out here? To chastise me?”
“Actually, no. I was freaking out about the wedding, but when I tried to think about something else to calm down it hit me. Ever since you saw him, you’ve been elusive. Evasive. You’re never in your room. He always seems to be around, lurking like some kind of stalker.”
“How can he not? We’re at the same hotel. He’s always going to be around here somewhere.”
She narrowed her beautiful green eyes. “And now you’re being defensive.”
“How can I not when you’re attacking me?” Jackie sighed. “What business is it of yours what I do?”
“Because I care about you and the last time you two got together it was a nightmare for you. Or don’t you remember how he’d ruined your life?”
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Jackie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. “Of course I haven’t forgotten. And for your information, we’re not together. He actually seems to want to make amends for the past.”
“You’re joking, right?” Caroline gripped her shoulders and shook her slightly. “You cannot let him back into your life. He’s just going to mess it all up again!”
Jackie stared into her friend’s wide eyes. She wasn’t usually this hysterical, especially not about another person’s life. It had to be about her own. “What’s this really about, Caroline?”
She glared at her. “I’m concerned about my friend?”
“I know you care about me, but I know you’re worrying about a lot right now. I can take care of myself.”
Caroline took a few deep breaths. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to come down on your so hard. I am worried about you. You know I don’t want anyone or anything to hurt you. But I’m also going crazy about the wedding.” She turned to grip the railing. “I feel like I’m spiraling. What’s worse is I have no idea what the baseline is for normal in this kind of situation. Am I really freaking out? Is it just cold feet? Is it normal to want to run for my life a few days before I’m supposed to get married to the love of my life? Is he even the love of my life?” She leaned forward and banged her head on the metal.
That was a lot to deal with. Jackie dragged Caroline away from the railing and gave her a hug. “I can’t pretend I know what you’re going through but I can’t let you dent the railing. The hotel would come after you for compensation and that’s just another headache you can do without.”
Caroline let out a sniffling laugh. “I’m glad one of us can joke around.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” Jackie held her a moment longer then slowly eased back. “I’m sure what you’re feeling is just jitters. All the anticipation is just at its highest point now.”
“I guess.”
“Forget about all that. Ignore everything else. There are no guests, no wedding, no reception. What does your heart tell you? Do you still want to be with Charles?”
Caroline closed her eyes and after a moment she opened her eyes. “Yes.”
“There’s your answer.”
A smile slowly crept over her lips. “You’re right.”
“Of course I am.” Jackie felt a small weight lift off her shoulders. It was so simple when dealing with other people’s problems, why couldn’t she do the same for herself?
Why couldn’t she?
Putting aside everything that had happened between herself and Logan would be easy but if she discounted them, could she imagine herself being with him?
Jackie ignored everything but their time together the past week and came to the stomach flipping conclusion.
Yes.
“You look like you just got punched in the stomach.” Caroline observed her speculatively.
She felt like she had been.
“You still have feelings for Logan, don’t you?”
“I think I do.” Saying the words aloud gave them more weight.
“How could you after what he did?”
It didn’t make sense to her either. All she knew was that when they weren’t holding things back, they were good together. Jackie wanted to find out if once they got things out in the open things would be as she hope they could be.
Caroline huffed. “I understand about the whole first love thing. But if I’m being completely honest, I don’t know if I could forgive him. Or trust him again, for that mat
ter.”
“I know.” Wasn’t that what she was struggling with already? “I just want to believe he’s not all bad, I guess.”
“And if he is and he hurts you all over again?”
That’s what she was afraid of. Then again, she wasn’t going to get anywhere if she continued to fear the future. Hadn’t she already learned that? When she’d been lost and alone she hadn’t let fear drag her down. She had pulled herself together and had come out better for it.
Somehow this seemed more daunting than anything else she had faced.
Jackie would take it slowly, like wading into the shallows of the ocean. Take a few steps, get acclimated then venture deeper.
Caroline jabbed her with her elbow. “You don’t think he’ll hurt you again?”
“I hope not, but if he does, then I’ll deal with it. I got over it last time and I can do it again.”
“And you’ll let me kick his ass this time,” Caroline said fiercely.
It made Jackie laugh thinking that tiny Caroline could kick anyone’s ass.
Her friend’s phone pinged, and she sighed as she read her screen. “Time to get dressed for the rehearsal dinner.”
“Right.”
They walked back in together and parted ways once inside.
Butterflies pin-wheeled in her stomach as she made her way to her room. It was a big step to bare herself to anyone again. It was going to take a bit to build up the courage.
However, once she was at her room and opened the door, the fluttering eased a little and her heart filled her chest until she thought it would burst.
Hanging with the net over her bed was a garment bag with the discreet logo of Gucci and on her bed beneath sat a shoe box emblazoned with Louboutin.
Jackie plucked a little envelope off the shoe box and pulled out the handwritten note.
Hope you like and will wear tonight—Logan
Her hands trembled slightly when she unzipped the bag. Inside she discovered a floaty, sleeveless, almost sheer, jade-green dress. Prefect for the tropical heat. The V-neck didn’t plunge down too far and the skirt would reach her knees. A sash of the same material and color was tied at the waist in a bow. It was simple and tasteful and must have cost him a small fortune. Jackie had seen it in several magazines on the flight over gracing models and celebs. The shoes were matching green sling-backs that would boost her height by at least six inches. It would still leave her a couple inches short of Logan.
She couldn’t help the smile on her face. It was so sweet of him. Logan had remembered not only her favorite color but labels as well.
After a rushed shower, she quickly got dressed, relishing the feel of the fine fabric against her skin. It fit perfectly. Jackie twisted back and forth in front of the mirror for a minute, enjoying the swish of the dress, before brushing out her hair and putting on her makeup.
She smoothed lotion over her legs from a container she found in the bathroom. It left her skin feeling silky and smelling like a blend of the exotic flowers found all over the island.
The last thing to go on were the shoes. It had been a long time since she’d worn shoes so high and it took her a few steps to regain her balance.
She glanced at herself in the mirror and Jackie almost did a double take. With her hair out of the ponytail and cascading over her shoulders in shining waves, the gorgeous dress and shoes, she looked like the rich and beautiful Jaqueline Pennington once again.
Is that who he wanted? The pampered girl she used to be?
The euphoria faded. That wasn’t who she was any longer. And she didn’t want to be as spoiled or naïve again. If he wanted to turn her back into that he was in for a rude awakening.
It dawned on her to change out of the dress, but she just didn’t have the time. Jackie grabbed her purse and phone and opened the door.
“You’re gorgeous.” Logan stood on the other side handsome in a finely cut suit. “I’m so glad you decided to wear the dress.”
Jackie nodded. “Thanks. You shouldn’t have.”
She tried to sidestep him, but he closed a gentle hand around her upper arm.
“What’s wrong?”
She tried to shrug out of his grasp. “We don’t have time to talk. We’re going to be late.”
He didn’t let go. “A few minutes won’t hurt. What did I do wrong now?”
She sighed. He wasn’t going to let it go without an explanation. “You bought me this dress and shoes.”
“So now me buying you things is a problem?”
Jackie refused to meet his gaze. Somehow, that now she was saying the words, it seemed ridiculous. “It was sweet of you, but you shouldn’t spend so much on me.”
“I can spend my money however I like. And if that means buying you things I’m certain you’ll like, it’s my prerogative.”
She sighed. “I’m not yours to splurge on, Logan.”
His expression turned incredulous. “So now I’m showing ownership by buying you nice things?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” Jackie was making a mess of this. “Let’s go to dinner before we’re missed.” She stomped ahead and heard him follow, quickly catching up.
“You can’t keep using the wedding as a deflector, Jackie.”
She picked up the pace. “I’m not. I’m trying to be a responsible adult who can show up on time.”
“Right.” He stayed quiet for a little while before he asked. “So what is it then?”
“I’m not the same girl that you remember, okay?”
Logan snagged her hand and dragged her back to him. “That’s very clear.”
Jackie plucked at the skirt. “So why are you trying to dress me up like her?”
His frown deepened. “Who said I was doing that?”
Jackie swept her hand over herself indicating the clothes. “What do you call this?”
“I was trying to do something nice for you?” He raked his hand through his hair. “I remembered what you used to like and assumed that you still do. It was an attempt to give you something, for once.”
Shame burned her cheeks. While they had been together in the past she had been the one to give him things. Buying a textbook for him here, a pair of shoes there. It wasn’t like he hadn’t reciprocated. Logan had when he could afford it. Had that bothered him all this time?
She bit her lip. “I’m sorry. I’m being ungrateful. Thank you. Really. It’s beautiful.”
“You’re welcome.” Logan smiled a little. “Did I at least remember your favorite shade of green?”
“You did. I’m surprised you remembered.” Her heart swelled over the fact that he had.
“I can recall a lot.”
So could she.
The trip to the hotel restaurant was short. This meal was being held in one of the other restaurants in the hotel. Instead of the huge aquarium in the center of the room, this time the wonder that drew her eyes was the beautiful beach spread like a painting outside. The wall-sized doors were opened so that instead of it being a backdrop, it became part of the dining room. White lights imitated stars on the ceiling and delicately lit the white lily and vivid pink plumeria centerpieces on the tables, giving it all a fairy tale-like atmosphere.
“This is beautiful.” Jackie took a moment just to stare.
“Yeah, it looks great.
She rolled her eyes when he wouldn’t see.
“Jackie!” Caroline appeared out of nowhere in an elegant pink dress that grazed the floor as she swept over to them. She greeted her as if she hadn’t seen her in years.
Not sure why her friend was behaving so strangely, Jackie just went along with it. She also noticed that Caroline neglected to greet Logan and instead left that to Charles.
“You look wonderful!” Caroline held Jackie’s arm akimbo to take in the dress. “Gucci? Very nice.”
“Yes, it was a gift.” Jackie smiled meaningfully at Logan.
Caroline’s gaze flickered over to the man next to Jackie before her lips pursed in admiration. “Not ba
d.”
“They outdid themselves in here.” Jackie let her gaze wander once more.
“Gorgeous, isn’t it? I’m very pleased.” She pointed across the way at a table by the sand. “You’re over there near us. Each couple gets their own table. Unless you dislike that arrangement.” She added the last bit in a whisper.
Jackie nodded. “That’s great.”
“Then go ahead and take your seats or mingle if you like. We should eat once we make the speeches and all that.”
Caroline never was one for speeches. She loved it when people took notice of her, but she didn’t want to have to speak to get their attention. That was usually accomplished by her stunning looks. Nothing else was needed. Usually.
Charles nodded hello before his and Caroline’s attentions were drawn elsewhere.
Logan returned to her side. “So what would you like to do?”
“Let’s get some drinks.”
“Sounds good.” He put his hand at the small of her back and they walked to a table glittering with crystal glasses, some filled with drinks, others sparkling and void.
The bartender smiled as they approached. “What can I get you?”
Logan turned to her. “Ladies first.”
“White wine, please. Half a glass.”
Chuckling, Logan held up two fingers. “Make mine the same.”
They picked up their drinks and headed toward their table, but kept walking beyond it into the sand. It wasn’t like they were abandoning the party. There were several others out there as well. As far as nights in paradise went, it was perfect. The air was warm and fragrant, the sky dark, clear and full of stars.
Jackie held her drink out to Logan. “Can you hold this for a second?”
“Sure.”
He took it as she slipped out of her shoes and stood, carrying them on one crooked finger.
“Thanks.” She retrieved her glass. “I don’t want to ruin the shoes.”
He laughed. “If you do I’ll buy you another pair. A dozen if you like. In every color of the rainbow.”
