The Blush Factor

by Gun Brooke

  Nothing was wrong with her heart. It beat just fine between her lungs. “Sure. Eight? Eight thirty?”

  “Eight thirty.” Eleanor nodded and methodically ate about half of the food on her plate.

  Addison’s appetite hadn’t returned, but the crushing weight that had pressed her to the ground moments earlier had lifted somewhat, and she took a few bites so as not to give away just how Eleanor affected her. She still couldn’t fathom how she’d held Eleanor’s hand. Feeling guilty for wearing the jet-lagged woman out completely, she’d been prepared to take the blame even for things that weren’t her fault.

  Soon, Eleanor asked for the check, and when Addison began looking for her wallet again, Eleanor shocked her by stopping her with a hand on her arm. “This is on me.” Her stern voice didn’t allow for objections.

  “Only if you let me buy you lunch next time.” Groaning inwardly at her habit of speaking before thinking, Addison pressed her tongue hard to the roof of her mouth.

  “By all means.” Eleanor signed the receipt and then stood, donning her coat. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Yeah.” Hesitating only briefly, Addison placed a hand on Eleanor’s arm as she was passing. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For listening and for believing me.”

  “Addison, you don’t possess much of a poker face. I knew you were telling me the truth.” She placed her hand on top of Addison’s, which was still on Eleanor’s arm. “Don’t change.”

  Addison couldn’t think of a single sensible thing to say to that. The way Eleanor’s voice had sunk an octave when she said “Don’t change” was enough to render her mute, obviously.

  “Until later.” Eleanor left the restaurant, escorted the last few steps by Rodolfo, who was almost tripping over his own feet to reach the door and hold it open. He still stood there when Addison passed, clearly not sure in which category she belonged.

  “Don’t worry. No hard feelings,” Addison said, enjoying his confusion a little too much as she stepped outside. The sun was still shining, people were still smiling. All in all, that was a pretty promising sign.

  Chapter Nine

  Eleanor sat down at her desk in the study and made sure she had enough lights on to avoid looking like a washed-out ghost on Skype. She checked the time. Eight forty-five p.m. Damn, she was late. She booted up her laptop and watched Skype load, and then she frowned. Addison wasn’t online. Of course, why should she wait around? No doubt Addison’s life was busy as it was, juggling a new job, her YouTube channel, and taking care of her sister.

  The disappointment wasn’t surprising in itself, but the level of it was disconcerting. She hungered for the sight of those sparkling hazel eyes and, oh God, that smile. When Addison looked at her, smiled, and tilted her head just so, it was as if nothing else mattered.

  Annoyed at herself for this obvious weakness, she was just about to slam the laptop lid shut when the familiar signal announced someone’s presence. Glancing at the chat window she saw Addison’s nickname highlighted. Finally. Before Eleanor had time to react, a message appeared.

  Blushaddict: God, I’m sorry I’m so late, Eleanor. Are you still there?

  Valkyrie: I am.

  Blushaddict: Can you forgive me? I had an…Oh, damn. I’m ringing you.

  The Skype signal rang from the laptop and Eleanor stared at the last line from Addison. Something was wrong. She clicked the green receiver icon to accept the call.

  “What’s going on?” Eleanor studied Addison’s tousled appearance with growing concern. Her hair was in wild disarray, and she was dressed in a camouflage tank top with one shoulder strap half off her shoulder. “What happened?”

  “We’re okay now. I mean, we’ll be fine. I was making dinner and I heard Stacey getting sick. I…It was a bad one. She’s in bed now, sleeping, but I—” Addison wiped at her eyes. “And time got away from me and, and…” She stopped talking and slumped back in her chair, her eyes vacant as she stared at something beyond the screen.

  “Addison. Please. What’s wrong with Stacey?”

  “I can handle it.” Addison’s lips were thin now, tense, as if she was willing them not to tremble. “I’ve handled it for years. This is just another…this is…” She hid her face in shaking hands.

  “Addison.” Feeling helpless as she watched Addison’s distress, Eleanor reached out to touch the screen. Something had to be really bad for her to break down like this. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

  Addison rubbed her cheeks and then pushed away the strands that clung to her damp temples. “No, no. That’s all right. Nothing I can’t handle, I promise. Let’s get down to business. That’s why you’re here. I mean there.” She smiled self-deprecatingly. “You know what I mean.” Addison breathed deeply and suddenly she stood, and the swaying image indicated she was carrying the laptop with her.

  Eleanor’s mouth fell open. Did Addison have any idea of the view she presented as she pressed the laptop against her, her breasts more or less resting on the keyboard? Her tank top had slid down farther, and the expanse of creamy skin filled the screen.

  Eleanor refused to allow the groan building up inside her to escape. How had this young woman pushed past all her defenses? Not to mention wreaked havoc with her libido in a way she’d never experienced before?

  Finally the swaying image settled as Addison sat down. Or lay down, as it were. Eleanor sighed inwardly as Addison got comfortable with the laptop clearly resting on her stomach. Her face, earlier so wracked with pain, now clearly showed her attempts at being stoic and pulling herself together.

  “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t take a minute more on that chair. I have to get a new one. It’s killing my back.” Addison snorted mirthlessly. “So where were we? Yes. Business. I have an idea how to announce my involvement with Face—”

  “Wait. I want to hear this. I really do.” Eleanor raised her hand. “But you have me worried. What’s going on with Stacey? Please tell me. I promise, it’s off the record and it goes no further.” Eleanor couldn’t remember ever having to beg someone to confide in her. Usually, she extricated herself from such situations very quickly, not very interested in heart-to-hearts. No wonder she was fumbling her way through this conversation.

  Addison’s lower lip quivered. “Really? I mean, it’s hardly anything that impacts our business arrangement, and I know you’re all about business. That’s the reason we…we…”

  “Addison,” Eleanor said sternly. “You should know by now that I never say anything I don’t mean, and if I say I want to hear about what is the matter with your sister, then that’s what I mean, all right?”

  “Oh. Right. Hmm. Okay.” Addison spoke in the choppy way Eleanor had come to associate with her feeling unsure.

  “I’m not forcing you, or, perhaps I am in a sense, but I really am interested. I’ve never seen you this unhinged.”

  “Unhinged? Oh, boy. I guess I look a mess.” Appearing self-conscious now, Addison patted down her wild hair. “Stacey has a cerebral aneurysm. Until recently it’s been chemically maintained. Now, a neurological team is seeing her and has decided she needs surgery soon. A lot of days you wouldn’t know by looking at her that anything’s wrong. Then on other days, like today, she’s throwing up and her head hurts.” Addison looked up at the ceiling for a moment, blinking rapidly as the rest of her words came out staccato, her voice harsh. “And every time I fear, you know, that this is it. This is when the fucking thing bursts and she—she bleeds out right in front of me. She’s seventeen. Seventeen!” Addison was now looking pleadingly at Eleanor with swollen eyes.

  “I’m so sorry, Addison.” Eleanor felt completely helpless and inadequate, feelings she despised. “I can understand how worried you must be. Stacey has the best sister possible to help her through this.”

  “Help her. Yes. Or maybe no? I guess I feel I’m buckling under the pressure a lot lately.” Addison gave her one-shoulder shrug. “I miss my parents. I mean, I miss them all the time, but lately I’ve missed having someo
ne to share this situation with. Just someone.”

  “Share it with me. Isn’t that what you’re already doing?” Suddenly eager to show Addison she meant what she said, Eleanor leaned closer to the webcam. “Talk to me about it. Don’t buckle, as you say. You’re not alone. We’re engaged in a business endeavor together, something we’re both very interested in. Why not take advantage of our situation in other ways as well? You need a sounding board, and a shoulder, at times, and I…” She faltered, her stomach fluttering at the thought of being so up front with Addison. To offer herself like this, not her money, not just the business deal, but also herself and her time, was almost making her dizzy. “I enjoy our conversations, regardless of the topic.”

  “You do?” Addison’s full lips formed a perfect “O.” “Really? I mean, I love chatting and stuff, but you must be the busiest person in New York. You won’t always have time for me and my worries.” She was frowning now.

  “Listen.” Cursing the fact that she wasn’t physically present and couldn’t at least take Addison’s hand, Eleanor rubbed her temple. Though afraid that her next words might make Addison feel uncomfortable, she still needed to be honest. “To be blunt, I wasn’t doing so well during my trip. Business-wise it was a success and I accomplished my goals. Why you were on my mind so much, I don’t know. It was completely unexpected, and the more I fought them, the more resilient these images of you became. I’m not quite sure what’s going on with us, or me, rather, but if I can help you—and Stacey—in any way, I wish you’d allow it.”

  “Our contract has helped me pay for the best care and also for the PT and care after the surgery. I don’t need more money.”

  Clenching her hands out of sight, Eleanor knew Addison didn’t understand. “I’m not talking about money, exactly,” she said quietly. If that was all Addison thought she was able to contribute, a whole new world of pain would open for Eleanor.

  Addison glanced up, suddenly wincing. “Oh, God. That’s not what you meant, was it? I’m an idiot. You’re right. I could use a, what did you call it, a sounding board? Someone who…cares?” Her cheekbones turned a faint pink. “And I absolutely love talking to you. Here or face to face.” She looked flustered and covered her eyes for a moment. “I’m really not that shallow.”

  “I know.” A tiny glow of relief in her chest made it easier to breathe. Eleanor tried for an encouraging smile. “Feel any better?”

  “Oh, Eleanor.” Addison pushed the laptop off her and set it down on the bed. Curling up on her pillow, she pulled a blanket over her shoulder. “I’m exhausted.”

  “Why don’t you go to sleep?”

  “I can’t sleep for too long.” Addison yawned, covering her mouth. “I have to check on Stace.”

  “Leave Skype on, then. I’ll wake you in an hour or so.” Eleanor could see how Addison relaxed at her words. “I’ll mute the microphone so I can work without disturbing you.”

  “Okay. Thank you, Ellie.”

  Eleanor’s heart twitched painfully at the shortened version of her name. Normally she’d correct such an attempt, but Addison had spoken unfiltered, and the nickname had sounded oddly right. Familiar.

  “Go to sleep. I’ll be right here.” Eleanor muted the microphone and kept a small window of Addison’s sleeping form in the upper corner of her laptop screen.

  Deciding to follow Addison’s example and crawl into bed, Eleanor sighed deeply at the thought of the two documents she needed to peruse. She’d been honest with Addison. The business trip had been harder than it should have been, since sleep had eluded her. She’d tried to relax, even going so far as counting damn sheep, but more often than not, she ended up where she really didn’t want to be. She was aware of how desperate and pathetic her addiction to Addison’s YouTube channel made her seem. The only relief was that nobody else knew just how much she craved listening to Addison’s melodious voice and watching her animated expressions as she shared what was going on in her life with her viewers.

  Now, when Eleanor was getting to know Addison and learn about her private circumstances, she realized Addison wasn’t sharing very many details with her viewers, even if it would seem so. She never disclosed where she lived or what she did, or used to do, for a living. The comment section below the video clips always held personal questions, but Addison only answered the ones dealing with beauty-related issues.

  A few of the comments were quite hateful. At first, Eleanor had been appalled and outraged at the horrible words people hurled at Addison. Some complained about her looks, others about the brands she spoke of. Lewd comments were usually flagged right away and removed, but then there were the ones that really upset Eleanor, the ones that suggested Addison was nothing more than a bought-and-paid-for makeup monger. Addison’s integrity was above reproach in her eyes, which made her realize just how carefully they’d have to work when introducing Face Exquisite via her channel.

  Now Eleanor didn’t even try to read the documents. She knew she wouldn’t be able to focus. Instead she checked her e-mail for update alerts, and yes, there it was. A new update to The Blush Factor channel. Double-clicking on the link, Eleanor waited impatiently as Addison’s intro ran its course. Addison came into view and Eleanor had to chuckle. Auburn hair wrapped around big blue curlers adorned Addison’s head, which made her look extraterrestrial.

  “Hello, my friends.” Addison wore pajamas and a fleece robe. “I have an important meeting tomorrow, so I need to look my best. And no, I’m not going to try to sleep on these things. I’m not that desperate. I am, however, going to show you a trick when you know you’d rather sleep in than do hair at six a.m.”

  Eleanor didn’t really care about the clever advice, but she listened to Addison’s voice with the same eagerness a starving man would regard a T-bone steak. She let her eyes roam over the clean, fresh face of the young woman. Addison was stunningly beautiful when she had applied her beloved beauty products so expertly, but like this, so close to the camera and with her face devoid of makeup, she was gorgeous. Her ethereal features suggested she might be frail, but Eleanor this knew wasn’t true. Addison was strong and resilient. Capable of raising her younger sister alone and still finding the time and energy to produce this video channel all on her own. Nothing in her demeanor suggested how she struggled, coping with Stacey’s illness and the uncertainty of the outcome of her sister’s surgery.

  Glancing at the serene Addison sleeping in the live feed in the corner of her screen, Eleanor knew without a doubt her life had changed. Long before she met Addison, she’d been pulled in by her personable nature and easy-on-the-eyes appearance. Now that she knew how wonderful this young woman was in real life, Eleanor realized she was in trouble. No matter if this was some midlife crisis, or merely hormonally induced, she was going to have to get a proper grip on herself. All she should do was be there for Addison when she needed her, make sure Stacey got the medical treatment she required, and work on Face Exquisite’s resurrection. Anything else remotely personal, intimate, she would need to push back to the dark corners of her mind. Addison didn’t need her to confuse matters.

  The YouTube video ended with Addison looking absolutely gorgeous, of course, her hair in perfect waves, her makeup impeccable, and her smile blazing through the screen. Eleanor grabbed one of the pillows on her bed and hugged it close, moaning at the sight. How the hell was she going to pull this off when she wanted with her entire being, body and soul, to get in a cab, go over to Addison’s house, and hold her tight?

  Impatient with herself, Eleanor sat up abruptly and tossed the pillow across the room with a growl. She tugged her laptop onto her legs, her grip harsh as she pulled up her documents. Glowering at them, she knew whoever wrote them would probably faint at the sight of all the red corrections in the margin. No doubt they’d complain that she was impossible to please, but she didn’t care. She had less than one hour to work off this frustration before she woke up Addison. Someone had to suffer for all this pent-up anguish, and it sure as hell wasn’t goin
g to be the young woman sleeping under her guard.

  *

  “Addison. It’s been an hour. Time to check on Stacey.”

  “What? Stacey? Oh!” Addison nearly tipped her laptop over as she sat up, trying to find the source of that sonorous voice. “Eleanor?”

  “Right here.” Eleanor chuckled. “Watching you wake up is so informative.”

  “Huh?” Addison pushed her wild hair from her face and stared at the screen where Eleanor was studying her while clearly lying on her own bed.

  “Are you always this disoriented?”

  “Only when I can’t find who’s talking. Disembodied voices do that to me.” Addison covered her face for a moment. “Ugh, thank you for letting me sleep. I feel a bit out of it still.”

  “No wonder. You’ve had quite the evening. Why don’t you go check on your sister, and I’ll be here when you get back. I’m still working on this dismal attempt at an analysis.”

  “Oh, wow. Sounds like someone is in for a rude awakening when they get it back.”

  “Exactly.”

  Addison quickly tiptoed into Stacey’s room where she slept so hard, she didn’t even stir when Addison checked her pulse and felt her forehead. No fever. Strong, even pulse. Still worried, Addison tickled the soles of Stacey’s feet and sighed in relief when she grimaced and pulled her legs up.

  Returning to her bedroom after a detour to the bathroom to brush her teeth and put on an oversized T-shirt, Addison stopped as Eleanor gasped.

  “What?” Addison had no idea what was up.

  “Oh, God.” Eleanor pressed her fingertips to her lips. “You’re trying to keep me from focusing on my work, is that it?”

  “Why would I do that? And how?” Addison crawled into bed, pulling back the covers.

  “How’s Stacey?” Eleanor tugged at her long necklace, her eyes roaming over Addison’s body.