The Blush Factor

by Gun Brooke

  “Did I say I minded?” Eleanor tilted her head and gazed at Addison. “I assume I’ll find out sooner or later if it’s important.”

  “I thought I knew how to use a fork and spoon,” Addison said, trying to get back on topic, “but I seem to do something wrong. It still splatters.”

  “Like this. Not too much on the fork and move your hand slowly.” Eleanor performed the maneuver perfectly before tucking the forkful of pasta into her mouth. She chewed meticulously, only to start laughing once she’d swallowed. “I don’t think I’ve had such a riveted audience, ever.”

  “We’re trying to learn how not to have the table manners of a caveman.” Stacey mimicked Eleanor’s twirling of the fork pressed to a spoon. “Okay, here goes.” She placed the pasta carefully in her mouth and chewed. “Whoa. I did it! Look, sis.” She repeated her maneuver with equal success.

  “Now me.” Maureen had to try twice before she managed to avoid getting pasta sauce on her chin.

  “Yay. Your turn, Addie.” Stacey looked expectantly at her.

  Oh, great. Addison’s hands were too unsteady, too sweaty, all of a sudden. She glanced at Eleanor, who was sitting to her right at the round kitchen table.

  “Not so fast,” Eleanor said softly, and placed a hand on Addison’s arm. “That’s when it splatters.”

  “Guess that makes sense.” Willing her hands not to tremble, Addison twirled her pasta and placed it in her mouth. And damn near choked at the hungry expression in Eleanor’s eyes.

  “Guess we’d know more about these things if Mom and Dad had been around longer,” Stacey said, then groaned as she shoved her hands through her hair. “Sorry, Addie. I didn’t mean it that way.”

  “Hey, Stace. It’s all right.” Addison smiled through the twinge of pain. Stacey had missed out on parental advice more than she had. “You’re right. We got into our own habits after they died.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up,” Maureen said calmly, and stabbed a piece of mozzarella. “You guys still have better manners than most in my family. My brothers could use a few lessons.”

  “There you go,” Eleanor said, and smiled, her eyes soft now as she looked back and forth between Addison and Stacey. “Though it may sound like I was born during the Jurassic era, trust me. I’ve come across some brats in my day. Neither of you resembles any of them, not even close. I can see that you miss your mother and father, but it doesn’t show on the outside.”

  Addison could only focus on breathing in and out, very slowly, or she might have thrown her arms around Eleanor and thanked her in a way the other woman hadn’t counted on.

  They finished the pasta while chatting about the girls’ schoolwork and their French test, which was coming up in a week. When it was time for dessert, Stacey turned to Addison, the little demons back in her eyes. “If Maureen and I do the dishes, can we take our dessert up to my room afterward? We want to watch Vampire Diaries. I’ve recorded the last two episodes since we missed them.”

  “Why not?” Addison answered before realizing this meant she and Eleanor would have the living room to themselves.

  Addison filled two bowls with ice cream and chocolate and carried them to the coffee table, Eleanor following her.

  “Am I wrong or did Stacey just wink at us and wiggle her eyebrows. Again?” Eleanor pursed her lips and Addison suspected she was being teased. Again.

  “Stacey can be such a wiseass sometimes,” she muttered, and then couldn’t help but chuckle. “She’s also very perceptive.”

  “Should I take that as a warning?” Eleanor sat down on the couch.

  “That would be a yes. She’s an unbearable tease, and she never lets you off the hook once she thinks she’s on to something.” Addison stopped just as she was about to sit down on the couch. “God, where’s my brain tonight—or my manners? Want some coffee to go with the ice cream? I’m sorry I can’t offer anything with alcohol. You know. Teenagers often have the house to themselves while I work.”

  “I’m fine, thank you, as I’m driving.” Eleanor regarded her dessert with something resembling surprise. “Ice cream. I can’t remember the last time I had regular ice cream.”

  “Oh.” Feeling silly and self-conscious, Addison finally sat down and fiddled with her spoon. “I hope it’s not too…pedestrian.”

  “Not at all. I usually skip dessert altogether, but this brings back memories of my childhood. I used to adore it.”

  “Perhaps you still do?” Addison took a spoonful and closed her lips around it. The taste of chocolate and raspberry ice cream covered with chocolate sauce made her moan. “This is so good.”

  Eleanor’s eyes narrowed into dark slits. “Are you trying deliberately to drive me crazy?” she murmured.

  “What?” Addison dropped her spoon into her bowl. “I’m not—I’m—oh.”

  Eleanor didn’t answer, but ate a spoonful of ice cream and studiously cleaned her spoon by turning it in her mouth and sucking on it. “Mmm.”

  Addison pressed her legs together to ward off the growing ache. Her naughty mind conjured up image after image of Eleanor using her mouth on just about any protruding part of Addison’s body. It was unfathomable to have Eleanor here in her house, on her couch. People stood in line to have Eleanor lend her presence to their social circle. If any of Eleanor’s business contacts knew she was here, they’d wonder what magic spell Addison had woven around her. “I’m not trying to drive you crazy,” Addison murmured, a little more ready to be candid. “Honestly.”

  “Hmm. So it comes naturally to you, then?” Eleanor took another spoonful.

  “What does?”

  “The way you look at me. The way…you seem to make me forget about what I’ve been so sure of all my life. I never even gave my orientation a second thought.” Eleanor put her bowl down on a coaster on the coffee table. “You’ve confused me since day one.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  Eleanor’s head snapped up. “No, don’t be.” She slid closer and placed a hand on Addison’s shoulder. “Don’t be sorry.”

  “Okay.” Addison held her breath until she became dizzy. “I do feel this…this connection, but I’ve tried to hold back. I mean, I didn’t want to…I didn’t think you…” Sighing, Addison tugged at her ponytail. “I don’t want to push you away.”

  “You’re not. You can’t.” Eleanor pulled her leg up and leaned sideways against the backrest. Sitting half turned toward Addison, she rested her head in her hand.

  “Really?” Addison hoped with all her heart this was true. Eleanor looked relaxed with the exception of her right foot, which she jiggled sideways, back and forth. “Good.”

  “You’re not only important in the resurrection of Face Exquisite. I admit I’ve grown accustomed to your being there, on Skype, on YouTube. I’d miss you if you weren’t.”

  It wasn’t so much what Eleanor said, but how she said it. Had she sounded like her usual detached self, her statement could have come across as something unimportant, polite at best. Instead she spoke in this low, intense tone, as if each syllable was important.

  “I know exactly what you mean. The nights when you’ve been busy, I’ve felt so weird. Like something was wrong when we didn’t touch base.” Addison fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “And as much as I care how Face Exquisite is coming along, that’s not all there is to it.”

  “You’re right. I feel like we can talk about just about anything. I’ve been all about business for so long.” Eleanor’s eyes suddenly became shiny. “I think ever since my aunt died, really. I loved spending time with her. She was only ten years older than I, and I felt she was the only one who understood me. She founded the company and loved makeup the way you do. She saw it as an artistic way of empowering women. My father never understood it. He saw it as something ridiculously frivolous. A redundant and superficial luxury…Well, I’m sure you’ve heard that before.” Pinching the bridge of her nose, Eleanor sighed.

  “I have.” Addison took Eleanor’s free hand in hers, shocked at ho
w cold it felt. Warming it with both of hers, she prodded gently. “So you and your aunt were close?”

  “She was something between a mother and a sister. She was the youngest child, the one with all the charm when compared to her siblings. She was so quick to love and a little on the naïve side. When the men she’d fallen for claimed to love her back, she never questioned them. She believed what they said and dived headfirst into the relationships. They broke her heart, every single time.”

  “Oh, God. She was all emotion, all heart, and they took advantage of her, huh?”

  Eleanor nodded stiffly. “Yes. And there I was, an impressionable teenager, standing on the sidelines, watching her relationships crash and burn, over and over. My father ridiculed her for what he deemed to be her shortcomings. All of that had a profound impact on me. I grew up wary of relationships and ended up detesting my father.” Eleanor smiled joylessly. “What do you think? You still sure you want to keep Skyping?”

  “Yes.” Addison squeezed Eleanor’s hand. “Tell me. What happened to your aunt?”

  “Priscilla fell in love, again, and this time the man proposed. Even my father was reluctantly optimistic. Priscilla had run Face Exquisite for about five years and it was the ‘it-brand’ among Hollywood’s stars and supermodels. I was nineteen at the time and spent my summer after graduation from high school interning as her assistant. She and I planned the wedding and I’d never seen her happier. The man in question literally left her at the altar. In fact, he didn’t show up at church at all. Via his best man he sent a note in which he told her he’d reconciled with his former fiancé.”

  “Oh, damn.” Addison scooted closer, holding Eleanor’s hand. “What happened?”

  “Priscilla said she needed time to think and took her car, the one I’d driven to the church, as she’d arrived in a limousine.” Swallowing visibly, Eleanor clung to Addison’s hand. “She drove off the dock into the harbor. People saw the car go in and called 911. A man and a woman jumped into the water and managed to get her out. Did CPR. Saved her life. It wasn’t living, though. She lived in a vegetative state until two years ago. I saw her every day for the first months. Then every week. Every other week, every month. Every other month, eventually. My father never went to see her. To him she was dead already.”

  “And the company became stagnant.”

  “Yes. My father became her legal guardian. He made all her medical decisions and ran the company into the ground, more or less. I was powerless.”

  “Did you try to help with the business?”

  “Not during the first years, as I was an undergraduate at Wellesley College and later in graduate school at Harvard. But after that, I asked my father, pleaded with him, actually.” Eleanor’s face expressed how much she’d resented having to beg him. “He refused to listen and left the company to run on empty. Only the fact that some loyal customers loved the brand made it possible for Face Exquisite to survive—barely—year after year.”

  “And now you own it.”

  “Yes. When Priscilla finally was allowed peace and passed on, her will gave me all her shares. By then I’d outmaneuvered my father and anyone from the Ashcroft Group loyal to him. The fact that I now have added Face Exquisite to the conglomerate doesn’t exactly thrill him.”

  “Why did you take over the Ashcroft Group to begin with?” Addison wondered if it was an act of vengeance only.

  “Several reasons. My family had built it up for generations, and my father lacked the business sense required to bring it forward in the twenty-first century.”

  “That sounds like a ready-made, rehearsed explanation,” Addison said carefully.

  Blinking, Eleanor regarded her with darkening eyes. “That’s a presumptuous point of view.”

  “Yes, probably, but I think there’s more to it. Your father mistreated his youngest sister, a woman you idolized and really cared about. Then, you were in a position of power, with an amazing sense for business. Taking the Ashcroft Group from your father and showing him how it’s really done must’ve been tremendously gratifying. The fact that you finally took Face Exquisite away from him as well was the last piece of the puzzle, or am I wrong?” Addison knew she was risking a lot by showing Eleanor she was ready to hear the truth instead of some prefabricated account.

  Eleanor’s hand jerked in Addison’s grasp, but she didn’t pull it free. “And if that is the truth?” Eleanor’s lips tensed.

  “It would prove to me that you’re human and passionate. Protective.”

  “How about vindictive and unforgiving?”

  “Yes, perhaps. I think there’s more to it, and as far as I’m concerned, the person at fault here is your father.”

  “What?” Eleanor looked like she couldn’t understand what Addison was saying. “You—what makes you say that?”

  “I imagine you can be harsh when it comes to business, and I can also understand that you resent how your father treated Priscilla. What I base my opinion on is how he acted throughout the years. He never even visited her during those years she was comatose.”

  “No.” Eleanor’s jaw looked so strained now it was as if it could shatter like glass. “No, he didn’t.”

  “And you did—all those years. I rest my case.” Addison shrugged, her eyes stinging now. “And I’m sorry if I made our evening into…this. I didn’t mean for you to feel like I put you on the spot.”

  “It’s a sensitive subject,” Eleanor acknowledged, the skin around her eyes tight. “You couldn’t know.”

  “No. But I could’ve guessed.” Concerned now that she might have ruined the evening, Addison took Eleanor’s face with both hands. “I just want us to be real. You know. Authentic with each other. No hiding.”

  “I can’t promise that. Not always, not right away, but it’s something to strive for,” Eleanor whispered, looking paler.

  “Yes.” Addison could hardly breathe, her heart was hammering so fast. Eleanor didn’t hate her for pushing. Could it be that she truly understood? Perhaps Eleanor somehow saw that Addison needed whatever it was they had together to be real. But if Eleanor couldn’t manage this, could Addison be just as understanding? Still, Eleanor’s words also had a faint hope for more moments together, more days when they might learn to be “real.”

  “Addison, please,” Eleanor said, her voice little more than a murmur.

  “Yes?” Concerned now, Addison moved closer to be able to make out what she was saying.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Eleanor glanced over toward the hallway. “You seem to have become an integral part of my fantasies. I never used to fantasize very much, but now I do. If I don’t get to talk to you, I go to your YouTube channel and all I have to do is listen to your voice and I’m…I’m…” She took a deep breath. “I’m right there with you. I close my eyes and all these scenarios play out in my mind. You’re so beautiful, but that’s not the only reason. It’s how you are, the way you come across, and how you smell. God, I’m not making much sense.”

  Addison was absolutely blown away. ”Oh, Ellie. It makes sense. It does. If you only knew what images my brain comes up with. And speaking of voices, yours is mind-blowing. I guess I’ve been worried I might make you uncomfortable. You know, since I came out to you? You’re such a beautiful, charismatic woman, and I envisioned you having tons of guys wanting to escort you to functions and whatnot. I’m well aware you’re out of my league. I really do get that. Just to know you find me attractive enough to…to fantasize about is more than I ever expected, or could even hope for.”

  “I feared you might find it a little pathetic. I mean, a woman my age.” Eleanor tried to loosen the tight grip around her hand, but Addison refused to let go.

  “Not by a long shot,” Addison said emphatically. “Age doesn’t matter to me. I’m the so-called underdog here. You’re wealthy. You’re powerful, famous, and worldly. I’m none of these things, but if I can overlook that, surely you can disregard the age thing?”

  “When you put it like that.”


  “Good.” Addison tried to get her breathing under control. Their conversation had become such a roller-coaster ride that she was trying to wrap her brain around what had been said. “So, no freaking out on either of our parts, all right? We’re good?”

  “Yes. I’d say you’re better than good.” Eleanor ran her thumb over the back of Addison’s hand. “You’re wonderful.”

  “Wow. I don’t mind that at all. Being wonderful to you, that is.” She smiled carefully, starting to feel like the ground beneath her was getting firmer.

  Regaining a little color, Eleanor relaxed her hand in Addison’s grip. “I’d say that’s even an understatement. You’re stunning.”

  Addison couldn’t stop herself. Cupping the back of Eleanor’s neck with her free hand, she dug into the depths of her soul for courage. “May I kiss you?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Addison wanted to kiss her? Eleanor was sure she’d misheard. That or she was hallucinating because of all the carbs in the pasta. She still nodded, mainly because she knew she’d lost her voice.

  “May I? Very softly? Like this,” Addison whispered, and moved in closer. Cautiously, it seemed, she brushed her lips against Eleanor’s—feathery soft caresses, no pressure at all.

  Eleanor sighed and angled her head. Being cautious wasn’t enough, not by far. She pressed her lips more firmly against Addison’s, wanting to prolong the all-too-chaste kisses. There was so much softness, and the fragrance of Addison’s skin was almost driving Eleanor insane. Having never kissed another woman, she reveled in the satiny feel, the fullness of Addison’s lips, and the absence of stubble.

  “Mmm.” Eleanor tried to murmur against Addison’s lips, but all she could think about was how badly she wanted to taste this amazing young woman’s mouth. Impatient now, Eleanor parted Addison’s lips. As she put her arms around Addison’s neck, she ran her tongue along the inside of her upper lip.

  Addison moaned, a thoroughly sexy sound that caused Eleanor to push her back against the armrest, her mouth sliding along Addison’s jawline. Latching on to her neck, she pressed her lips against the velvet skin where Addison’s pulse fluttered wildly.