His hardened tone and narrowed eyes almost made me lose my nerve, but I swallowed hard and faced him. “Alone, please.”
His jaw tightened and I knew that he was well and truly annoyed with me. He scowled and did not take his eyes from me as he barked the order: “You heard the duchess! Out, every one of you!”
Well?” he demanded impatiently the moment the doors closed behind us.
“I thought you should like to know… well, that is… I’ve not had my bleeding this month.”
“And?” he snapped, rather peevishly.
“My courses have not come. I am carrying your child, husband.” I waited tensely for his reaction, but it was slow in coming. I’d hoped he would be happy to have an heir, perhaps even feel some tenderness toward me as a husband should for his wife. When I’d first discovered the news, I’d had the forlorn hope that things might return to what they’d been before we’d pledged our troth. Perhaps this would make him love me. Judging from the expression on his face, however, his feelings hovered somewhere between annoyance and confusion. “Well,” I gave him a faint smile, “I thought you would like to know.” I turned to leave and had gone perhaps a step or two when I heard him moving behind me. In the next instant, I felt my waist being seized, felt myself being turned to face him.
His face had been transformed, eager excitement alight in his eyes, his face aglow with the news. “You are certain?”
I was quite caught off-guard by the sudden change in him and didn’t know what to make of it. “Ah… I have written to my mother. She is certain, my lord.”
He let out a roar that shocked me so I feared I would faint, but then his arms were around me, holding me close, hugging me tight. “How can this be?” he asked, his voice full of delighted awe. “How can this be, a child so soon? Surely, God favors our match, Cecily. Surely, this is a sign.”
I laughed, eager to join him in rejoicing. “It is wonderful,” I agreed eagerly.
“Oh, yes. My darling wife, my sweet duchess,” he cooed, his finger trailing down my cheek as I beamed up at him. “How are you feeling? Surely, you ought to be abed?”
“Husband!” I reproached him with laughter in my voice. “Do not fret, I am doing everything my mother instructs so that our child will be born healthy.”
“Yes, well, it’s been a long time since your mother bore you. Mayhap I should fetch the physician—”
“Please, Wallace,” I murmured, burrowing my face in his chest. “Please, don’t fret. Only be happy, here in this moment, with me.”
I thought he might protest—indeed, he seemed to have much more he longed to say, but after a moment I felt him relax, the tension draining from his body as he began to cuddle me close. “Of course I’m happy, sweetheart. You’ve made me so very happy.”
This was what I wanted, I thought as I melted into my husband’s embrace. This is what I’ve dreamt of and longed for. Now we’ll be as happy as we were before, and have a little baby of our own to share in our joy. I inhaled slowly, relishing the moment, determined to savor the feel of his arms around me as I basked in his love.
Chapter Four
“I cannot be your wife,” I hissed at Antony, who looked back at me unrepentantly. “I am a woman already married!”
“Yes, and as I’ve already explained, your husband is surely dead.”
“Surely?” I mocked. “Surely is not a certainty, and until I can say with certainty that my husband is not in this world, I will never entertain the idea of marrying another! Why, I would have to wait for my mourning period to be over before—”
“These are troubled times, my lady. Things are not as they once were. I’m afraid it would do you much harm to remain unmarried, unescorted, through these parts.”
“Then take me back!” I demanded, glaring at him over my shoulder. “I didn’t ask to be brought here!”
Antony tilted his head to the side, surveying me before he answered. “I know you are feeling lost, but as I’ve said, there is no life left for you in Hohenzollern.”
I jutted my chin out defiantly. “I don’t believe you. But if you will take me back, and let me see for myself, then perhaps—”
“I’m afraid that’s simply not possible. I’m sorry, Cecily. Come to me, my poor little dove.”
My blue eyes narrowed into slits. Hearing his show of sympathy made me seethe. He was the one who had done this to me. Why should he now plague me with his pity? “Thank you, no. I’d rather you finish the chastisement. That, or allow me to take to my bed.” I’d thought to anger him, as he’d done me, but I only saw patience and tenderness in his face.
I’d thought that perhaps he would allow me to rest my eyes and sore bottom, however, when the sturdy leather sole of my slipper connected with my pantalets I realized that he was not finished with me yet. The spank was followed by a flurry of equally hard swats. I bit down on my lip, hard, to keep from calling out. As one followed the next, however, I began to sniffle. These were not the slow, carefully counted spanks I’d endured before, but rather a painful, punishing barrage of strokes that had tears rolling down my cheeks long before they’d ceased. I was crying, just as he’d promised, yet, he did not stop there. Antony cracked my slipper against my covered behind again and again until my cries turned to sobs and sobs turned to incoherent begging. By the time he stopped, I felt like I’d sat in the fire and had my pantalets burned to nothing but ash. Surely, if I removed the garment I would see scorch marks on my very skin.
“I have given you your orders,” Antony said, still quiet and quite in control. “If you persist in your disobedience, at least you now know what you can expect.” When he lowered my skirts and I felt them caress my aching bottom, I winced. “Oh, and Cecily? Next time you’ll take your spanking on the bare. Pray remember that before you choose to defy me again.”
I turned around with slow, careful steps, and glared at him through a haze of tears. “When my lord husband comes for me—and I assure you that he will—you will pay for every swat. Let us hope it is not with your life.”
Antony surprised me yet again by responding to my words with a slight bow. “If that is your wish, then I hope for your sake it is granted.”
“Y-you do?” I stammered.
“I think it’s best you go to bed. You need to rest before we continue. Might I suggest you lie on your stomach?”
Tossing my black hair saucily, I didn’t trouble to reply as I marched to the bed. I would have lain on my back, just to spite him, if the prospect hadn’t been so horrid to contemplate. Antony, to his credit, did not gloat.
The smell of cooked meat stirred me in my sleep. When my stomach rumbled loudly, I had no choice but to wake from my slumber, however reluctantly. I sat up in bed, wincing as my arse hit the bed. Despite Antony’s warning, I’d rolled onto my back during the night and now my bottom throbbed as a reminder of the thrashing I’d received. I stretched my arms over my head and turned toward the smell. When I caught sight of Antony walking toward me bearing a large platter, I turned my head away, deciding that perhaps I wasn’t that hungry after all.
However, my nose couldn’t help but keep sniffing the air, which was all it took for my empty stomach to overtake my stubborn will. When I turned toward the smell I saw that he stood by my side, patiently waiting for me to accept what I suspected was his peace offering. Without a word, he slid a plate in front of me. I mumbled my thanks before I attacked the meat ravenously, eating as though I’d been starved for days. My mother would have been horrified. My husband, in fact, would have disowned me from the shame. Antony, however, watched without comment.
As soon as I’d eaten the last morsel, he offered me a bowl of fruit. “Spiced berries,” was the only explanation he offered.
It was on the tip of my tongue to thank him, but I remembered just in time that I was still angry with him and reluctant to talk to him at all. I took the bowl he offered and began to eat, realizing at once that they had been spiced to give flavor because they were a few days old. I ate them j
ust the same, and finally, at long last, my hunger was sated. Only when I finished did I realize that I’d never seen Antony eat a bite. It’s no more than he deserves, I thought meanly. Let his stomach pain him the way my bottom does me and see how he likes it!
“Did you sleep well?”
I deliberately turned away from him once more, appreciating the opportunity to snub him. I was feeling very smug and well-pleased with myself—that was, until my stomach lurched and I found myself bent over and heaving my just-eaten breakfast onto the floor. When I was finally able to stop, tears were streaming down my cheeks and I was much too tired for petty games.
“Perhaps you ate too quickly,” he suggested, walking toward me and gently pushing me until I was lying back on the bed. “Rest a little longer.”
“But—”
“It’s alright,” he cut off my feeble protest. “We can leave later. It’s best that you have your strength back before we set out again.”
“It won’t make a difference,” I told him, cross that he remained unfailingly kind no matter what I said or did. “It’s that horrid food! The Duke of Württemberg never would have given me such poor fare.” I glared at him, daring him to contradict me.
I should have known that he would not. It was not his way. “Of course not, my lady. Please forgive me. Now, perhaps after you’ve had a bit of rest when you’ve improved we can find something that suits you better.”
I’d thought it impossible to sleep, but I found that I was tired from the exertion of being sick and found myself drifting off in no time.
* * *
Württemberg Manor
“Excuse me.” I stepped in the path of a servant carrying a basket of clothing. “Do you know where the duke is?”
“No, m’lady,” she mumbled, speaking too quickly, avoiding my eyes and too eager to move past me.
It was in bad taste for a woman to have to ask servants where her husband was. I knew that, and yet I could do little else. I felt like I’d not seen Wallace in days, which I began to find troublesome. I’d seen him in the halls, of course, and at mealtimes, but he no longer made an effort to seek me out. To tell the truth, it wasn’t as though I missed his company, but I felt it my duty as his wife to make an effort to seek him out.
Yet, I could find him nowhere. I’d been to his rooms, to his war room, the library, and the great hall. I had it on good authority that he was not out hunting, yet no one seemed to know where he was. Or, at the very least, that was what they told me when I asked.
I knew that I was beginning to look the fool and I was about to turn around and return to my rooms when I heard a high-pitched giggle. It was followed quickly by a playful admonishment from a husky male voice. Something about that voice made me still in my tracks and draw my breath in sharply.
It’s not him, I told myself, aware even as I thought it that I was lying, just as I knew that I should turn around and pretend that I’d never found my husband. I should remain blind and deaf, lest I allow whoever he was with to break my heart.
But even as I thought it, I still found myself moving closer, pushing open the door that had been left ajar. At first, I wasn’t sure exactly what I was seeing. A woman in a dubious state of undress was perched atop the desk in the middle of the room, her head thrown back as she moaned. Yet, she appeared to be alone.
I’d never witnessed such a thing before, and the shock of seeing her clothing askance and the woman herself clearly nearing a state of rapture was enough to make my entire body freeze. How I wished I’d never come in. How I longed to turn and flee, and yet, my slippers seemed fastened to the stone floor.
“Ooh,” she moaned, thrusting her naked chest forward like a common whore. The mere sight of how she behaved was enough to sicken me. “Oh, it feels… so lovely…”
I had just decided to announce myself so that she would know she was not alone when she trilled in a quavering wail, reaching forward to grasp something I could not see. She cried out, her body spasming, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away, no matter how dearly I longed to.
“Oh, my lord!” she cried. “Your Grace!”
I felt the color begin to drain from my cheeks even before I saw him. The lady moved, ever so slightly, to give me a good view of my husband kneeling on the floor, placed right between her thighs. I was unable to stop the gasp that rose to my throat, and when the lady spun around I saw that she was indeed a whore, the whore called Anne Clover, who was employed by my husband to clean the chamber pots, and yet apparently did so much more.
“Dear Mother of God,” I murmured to myself, my hand flying to my breast. I felt faint.
“Y-your ladyship!” Anne squeaked, her hands flying to her breasts in an attempt to disguise her nakedness, as though I hadn’t already seen all that there was to see.
“Cecily? What the devil?” Wallace demanded, sounding annoyed as though I’d just spoiled his fun. And it would appear that I had indeed.
“I… forgive me,” I murmured, my cheeks flaming with shame. “I… I did not know you were in here.” I turned to take my leave and had even taken a step forward when it occurred to me: it was they who should be ashamed, not me. What did I have to apologize for? Wallace was my husband and had just been caught in the act of betraying me, yet he seemed to feel nothing toward me whatsoever. And Anne Clover! The little whore should be blushing to the roots of her hair and running for the chapel to confess her immeasurable sin!
When I turned back around, Wallace arched an eyebrow, clearly impatient to get back to his sport.
“Have you nothing to say to me?”
He seemed surprised—whether by the fact that I’d addressed him at all, or the biting tone I used, I could not say. “What is it you would like me to say? Good-bye?”
“I am carrying your child, in case it’s slipped your mind, Your Grace.”
“So might she be,” he replied, nodding toward Anne and chuckling at his remark.
My lips curled in disgust and I clenched my fists at my sides. “I want her sent from court.” Anne Clover turned toward me with a gasp, her eyes wide as her face paled. I did not so much as spare her a glance.
Wallace did not answer right away and instead took his time standing up. I glanced away when I realized that he was not wearing trousers. “Oh, you do, do you? And do you command at Württemberg Castle now, my lady?”
“I am your wife, I—”
“That’s right. My wife, not my ruler. It is I who command here, Cecily, and I say that the lady stays.”
“Then I shall leave,” I declared, turning away and beginning to stride from the room. I’d nearly made it to the door when I felt my arm being seized. With hard, grasping fingers, Wallace turned me to face him, shaking me like a rag doll.
“You take your leave when I command it and not before. Don’t ever forget it, Cecily.”
“I am not a prisoner here.” I glared at him defiantly, jutting out my jaw.
“No, you are not that. You are my dog—you will obey my every order, or be kicked until I can bring you to heel. Shall I offer you a demonstration?” He raised his hand back and I couldn’t help cowering at the wild look in his eyes. I knew that he would not hesitate to strike me.
“Please, Wallace…”
Seeing the fear in my face must have pleased him, because he lowered his arm almost at once. “I thought not. You have my permission to withdraw.”
* * *
When I felt myself being shaken, I awoke with a start.
“Shh, it’s alright. Nothing is going to hurt you.”
I blinked rapidly, trying to gather my bearings. When I saw Antony staring at me, I relaxed the slightest bit.
“Are you unwell?”
“I…” I sat up slowly, trying to recover from the surprise of being startled awake.
“You were crying out,” he said by way of explanation. “You sounded… I was worried, so I woke you.”
I couldn’t help but be touched by the concern in his expression and I offered a small smile. “No
cause to be alarmed. I must have been dreaming.” Though, truth be told, it had been more of a remembrance, but I didn’t see the need to tell him that.
“Would you like something to eat?” Remembering what had happened the last time I’d eaten was enough to deter me and I shook my head. “You’re certain? We’ll be readying the horses shortly, and I’m afraid we’ll be riding for most of the day.”
“I can manage.”
For a moment, I thought he might argue, but in the end Antony nodded. “As you wish.”
Antony left soon after to take care of the horses and pack provisions and I did my best to freshen up before we left.
I saw straight away that he’d told it true—we were riding hard, and covering a lot of ground. I winced often as my bottom bounced in the saddle, but I did my best to keep my discomfort from him.
We rode hard and traveled with nary a word between us, which was just fine with me. I wasn’t angry at him anymore for the spanking, but I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. I couldn’t find the courage even to look him in the eye, much less speak to him. It wasn’t a feeling that I was accustomed to, and certainly not one that I enjoyed.
When Antony halted his horse, I was quick to do the same. “Would you care for a break, my lady? I wouldn’t say no to a rest.”
“Certainly,” I murmured, still avoiding his gaze.
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