Love Beyond Boundaries (A Scottish Time Travel Romance): Book 12 (Morna's Legacy Series)

by Bethany Claire

  He visibly jerked next to me as something close to panic appeared in his eyes. “What? Did she tell ye that, lass?”

  I shook my head, startled by his reaction. “No. It was just the way she kept looking at me, I guess. Look, it’s so not a big deal if you guys were. We all have exes. She just seems extremely fond of you, but in a way that was noticeably different than the way Sydney is fond of you. I just noticed it is all.”

  He sighed and his expression softened. “Ah. I see, lass. No. Silva and I are friends. Always have been.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. I’d been so certain of it. I’d honestly thought it was the easiest question I wanted to ask him.

  “Really? Because I’m really not the jealous type, Ross. You swear you guys never…” I paused. “Not even a little bit?”

  His jaw tightened. “Aye lass, I swear. I doona even know why ye would ask such a question.”

  He removed his boots and slipped into bed without looking at me. Slowly, I removed my own shoes and climbed in beside him, a cold and uneasy sensation hanging over me. He’d never spoken to me in such a way before, dismissing me not just because he didn’t want to talk, but in a manner intended to make me feel stupid.

  Regretting that I’d pushed him, I rolled to turn into his arms. “I’m sorry. Thank you for letting me pry for a little bit.”

  He too, seemed to regret snapping at me and hurried to pull me into the crook of his arm before bending to kiss me and then trailing his lips up to whisper into my ear. “’Tis fine, lass. Now how would ye feel about exhausting ourselves just a wee bit more? ’Twould surely assure a pleasant night’s sleep.”

  I reached my hand down to stroke his already-present erection. “I think I would feel pretty good about that.”

  Growling, he pulled me into his arms once more.

  With dawn just beginning to show herself on the horizon, Ross still lay awake in the small bed with Allanah sound asleep beside him. Regret plagued him as he held her.

  Why had he lied? Why had he sworn an untruth when he’d been presented with the perfect opportunity to be free of the chains of this secret?

  There was no good reason for it, he knew. Perhaps it was only that he was cursed to make the decisions that were the worst for him.

  Whatever the reason, he knew it would come back to haunt him.

  His choices always did.

  Chapter 40

  The rest of the journey went smoothly. While I’d been hesitant, a few nights spent camping under the stars weren’t nearly as dreadful as I’d expected them to be.

  Over the last three days of riding together, I learned more about Ross and who he really was than any other time that I’d spent with him. It seemed that Gramps had been right indeed. Once pressed, he opened up. As he did, it was as if a dam had been broken. Without me even asking him, he would regale me with stories of his childhood growing up amongst the very landscape we rode through.

  I shared stories, too. I talked of my parents, my first heartbreak, of how I began to build my profession, and what I wanted in my future.

  We learned that there are so many things we agree on. We both want children. We are both happy to remain in Boston or at least close to it. We both prefer the deli on the east side of our apartment complex to the one on the west. And we also learned, just as importantly, that the things we disagreed on really weren’t that big of deal. Our taste in music varied greatly—our preference for future potential vacation spots even more so.

  By the time we arrived in the village where his mother lived, I was certain I’d never had a more enjoyable few days in all my life. All of the anxiety and apprehension I’d felt the day I sat down to visit with Gramps was now gone.

  Ross leaned forward on the horse, his cheek pressed warmly against my own as we neared the castle gates, and I gently reached up to place my hand on the side of his cheek.

  “Our time here willna be easy for me, lass, but I canna tell ye how pleased I am that ye are here.”

  “Me too, Ross. There’s nowhere else in the whole world I’d rather be.”

  It was the truest thing I’d ever said.

  Two Months Later

  * * *

  One thing I found to be very different in this time than my own was how easily one could settle into a routine. Something about the lack of distractions, the end to the incessant buzzing on our phones and overpacked calendars, allowed a natural rhythm to take place day after day. While I knew that when the time came to return home, I would be ready, I couldn’t deny that I quite enjoyed the change of pace, especially since my days took an interesting turn shortly after our arrival.

  During our first month, there were still times when Ross’ mother seemed to know him. When she did, he never wanted me by his side. She always reverted back to a time when he still lived in the village with her, and there would be no way to explain my presence without causing her distress. I understood completely, but it meant that my days were left empty without much purpose, and it had quickly driven me stir-crazy. Thankfully, purpose fell into my lap on our tenth day in the village.

  I’d been walking back toward the castle after leaving Ross with his mother, and I’d noticed an old man hobbling with such apparent pain that I’d been unable to walk past him without offering assistance. After learning that he’d injured himself in a fall, my physical therapist instincts simply couldn’t be denied.

  Within two weeks, I had a handful of ‘patients’ in the village, none of whom had ever stretched anything a day in their life. I was halfway concerned that they were all going to believe me a witch for the relief I was able to help many of them find.

  After the first month, the health of Ross’ mother began to decline further. For weeks, she’d not known him and still he stayed by her side. When she was frightened, he would comfort her. And when she was happier, he would go along with whatever—or whoever—she needed him to be at that time.

  The waiting wore on him. I could see it in the way the whites of his eyes were always red and strained when we met up in the evenings for dinner. But I also knew that despite his heartache, this was exactly where he needed to be. If he’d not done this, if he’d not come here to be with her at the end, he never would’ve forgiven himself. The last thing Ross needed was to have more self-induced guilt to carry around with him.

  “I’ll be glad when she finally dies, and I feel like the worst sort of wretch for saying so.”

  They were the first words Ross had said since entering our bedchamber after dinner a half hour ago. When I looked up at him from the fire I sat in front of, I could see tears in his eyes.

  “Ross.” I stood and moved over, wrapping my arms around him in a hug. “You are not a wretch. She’s not there anymore, and it’s a cruel, cruel disease. Of course, there will be some relief when she goes. She won’t be in pain. She won’t be frightened. It’s entirely normal for you to feel that way.”

  He kissed the top of my head and I felt him shrug against me.

  “Mayhap so. Do ye think ye could do something for me tomorrow, lass?”

  “Of course. What is it?”

  “Griffith has asked me to join him for a ride at daybreak. He believes I need a morning away from all this.”

  I nodded in agreement. “He’s right. You definitely need to go. A ride in some fresh air will help clear your head. You’ve been with her every day since we got here. And she’s not known you for weeks now.”

  “Aye.” He squeezed my hand. “I know ye are both right. Would you sit with her in the morning? The healer has others in the village he needs to tend to, and the young woman who usually tends to her when he is away has just gone into labor. I doona wish for her to be alone in case…” He hesitated as his voice broke. “In case…”

  I lifted my palm to his cheek. “Of course. I’ll go over there as soon as you guys ride out, and I’ll sit with her until you return.”

  He kissed me, slowly leading me to the bed, in need of a few minutes of comfort where his heart wouldn’t feel
quite so heavy.

  She was sleeping when I entered her home, though a candle still burned next to her bedside, and I knew the healer was not long gone from checking on her at first light.

  Her face was gaunt, her eyes sunken into her head, and her fingers so slim they were alarming. She rarely touched food anymore, and I knew as I settled into the well-worn chair beside her bed, that it wouldn’t be long before she passed.

  Hours passed while I listened to her breathing, and as I sat silently next to her, I thought of all the things I would say to her if she were well.

  I thought of how I’d thank her for raising such a good man, of how I’d assure her that we would be back to visit again soon. As I did so, tears spilled over my cheeks.

  I didn’t know this woman—not really—but I knew I was bound to her by the love we both shared for her son. It pained me to know that once she was gone, Ross would have one less heart loving him in this world.

  I brushed away my tears, not wanting Ross to walk in and see me crying. As I closed my eyes and pressed my palms against my eyelids, I heard her shift in the bed. I hurried to move my hands away so I could look at her.

  Her eyes finally flickered open. To my surprise, she was smiling at me, her hand laid open beside her as if she wished me to take it.

  Hesitantly, I did, just that.

  For a moment, she said nothing. She simply stared at me with a smile. Then she reached over with her other frail hand and gently patted the top of the hand I had resting on her other one.

  “Silva, lass. ’Tis good to see ye.”

  I froze, surprise pricking its way down my spine with an unsettling sense of foreboding, though I knew I couldn’t deny her by telling her I was someone else.

  “It…it’s good to see you, too.”

  She pulled her brows in and tilted her head to the right a little as she looked at me. “Why have ye changed out of yer dress? I thought mayhap ye would wear it as ye left.”

  “My…my dress?”

  “Yer wedding dress, lass. Why ’twas the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever seen. And I finally have a daughter I can call my own.”

  She smiled again.

  My stomach turned over, and my blood ran cold.

  Chapter 41

  Griffith was right. He’d spent far too many days surrounded by the sadness of all that weighed on him. The ride had done him good, though he was ready to be back at the castle and in Allanah’s arms.

  They’d ridden farther than he expected, and dusk was nearing as they rode into view of the village. He hoped the healer had returned after seeing to his other patients so that Allanah hadn’t had to sit all day with his mother.

  As they passed through the castle gates and near the stables, he could see Allanah’s figure in the distance.

  What was the lass doing? She held out a bag in front of her and appeared to be screaming at the stablemaster.

  Unnerved by the sight in front of him, he pulled on the reigns of the horse, dismounting quickly so he could run to her.

  “Allanah, lass, what are ye doing? Has this man harmed ye in some way?”

  She whirled on him, the bag nearly smacking him across the face. Her eyes were red, her cheeks streaked with tears, and she was shook all over.

  Before Allanah could say a word, the stablemaster spoke beside him.

  “All I’ve done to the lass is refuse to sell her one of the laird’s horses.”

  “Horses?” Confused, he turned back to look at Allanah. “Why would ye wish to buy one of the horses, lass? What is the matter?”

  “I’m leaving, Ross.” She screamed the words at him, tears still running down her face. Her chest rose and fell in quick succession, and he feared she might faint if she didn’t calm herself enough to catch her breath.

  “Allanah, lass.” He reached for her, but she jerked out of the way.

  “Don’t you dare touch me!”

  Mouth agape, he shook his head in confusion. “Ye must tell me what has happened. Is it my mother?”

  She shook her head. His question forced her to speak. “She’s no worse than she was this morning.”

  She stormed past him in the direction of the horse he’d dismounted. He ran to block her path.

  “Lass, ’tis near dark. I’ll not allow ye to ride out on yer own. Ye must tell me what has ye so upset.”

  “You lied, Ross! You were married to her for God’s sake!”

  His legs nearly gave way as her words sunk in.

  How had she possibly found out?

  “Wha…how...” His words failed him.

  Her jaw tight, she ground out an answer to his unfinished question. “How did I find out? Your mother thought I was Silva, Ross. She asked me why I’d changed out of my wedding gown.”

  He closed his eyes as the horror of it washed over him. “Lass, I can explain. I should’ve told ye. I’m so sorry. I…”

  She held out a hand to stop him. “I don’t care, Ross. I could’ve dealt with so many things, but you directly lied to me. You swore. I’m leaving.”

  Panic coursed through him as he moved to grab the reins of the horse she reached for.

  “I canna bring ye back now, lass. My mother could pass any day.”

  She stopped long enough to look at him. “I know. And I’m so, so sorry about that. But I can’t stay here. Not tonight. Not ever again. I’m leaving. Now.”

  He sighed, his heart aching as if she’d just reached inside and ripped it from his chest. His own tears were spilling over now, his voice raspy as he pleaded with her.

  “Ye canna leave tonight, lass. I just told ye that I canna take ye back now.”

  She raised the hand still clutching the bag of coins she’d tried to pay off the stablemaster with.

  “You’re not taking me back anywhere, Ross. I’m leaving right now. If you take one more step to stop me, I’m going to swing this bag of metal into your head so hard it knocks you right onto your ass.”

  He let go of the reigns and stepped aside. There was no bluff in her tone.

  “Please, Allanah.” He dropped to his knees. His tone desperate and hopeless. “Please forgive me.”

  Without a word, she mounted the horse and rode away from him. From his right, Griffith stepped back toward his own steed.

  “I’ll follow her, lad. I’ll see her safely to Cagair Castle, doona worry.”

  Sobs wracked his chest as he watched his heart ride away from him.

  Chapter 42

  Boston, Massachusetts, USA

  * * *

  I didn’t spend a single night at Cagair Castle when I made it back to the present day. Instead, I had Orick, the only person I actually saw upon returning to Cagair, drive me to the airport the second I made it back through the stairwell. Within twelve hours of crossing over into my own time, I was back home in Boston.

  I didn’t tell anyone I was back. While I knew there was a possibility Georgie would be at the apartment, I figured it was just as likely that she wouldn’t be, and I desperately wanted some time alone to process my anger and heartache.

  When I unlocked the door of my apartment to find the place dark and quiet, I allowed myself to drop to the floor and cry.

  While I’d been a hysterical mess upon leaving Ross, the hard ride home had forced me to stifle my emotions for the time being. Griffith was a good companion. He rode silently throughout the trip, allowing me to set the pace, all while making sure that we had a safe camp the one night that we did stop to actually sleep.

  But now, back home in the safety and warmth of my own bed, I let everything go. I cried for hours. My chest had never been so sore before. I ached for him, for the betrayal I felt at his lie.

  I didn’t care that Ross had been married before. In truth, it made perfect sense, especially after the way Silva had acted toward me. What I simply couldn’t abide was the lie. It wasn’t something he’d simply decided to not tell me. It wasn’t one of the topics he always seemed to skirt his way around. He’d looked me right in the eyes and swore to
me that he and Silva had never had any sort of relationship.

  Part of me had recognized the lie in that moment, and I knew that made it all the worse for me now. Because the truth was, I wasn’t only angry at Ross, I was also furious with myself for allowing my heart to get in the way of my gut.

  It wasn’t only the lie. It was also the fact that I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps losing Silva was his biggest regret, that maybe that was the thing that plagued him so acutely.

  He’d hinted at such a truth, actually, the first night I spent in the past with him, when I’d said to him that his mistake maybe wasn’t a mistake at all—that perhaps it had pushed things to happen as they were truly meant to. He hadn’t liked that suggestion. He’d even disagreed with me, saying that he doubted it.

  Why did he doubt it? Was it because he believed he should’ve ended up with Silva? Was his relationship with me something he’d settled for as his second best option now that Silva was remarried and out of reach for him? Had he truly moved to Boston not to start anew but to try and outrun his desire for her?

  It had to be so. In that lens, everything about him made sense, and that realization hurt me worse than any other pain I’d felt in my life.

  I’d seen it with him—my future. Each night when I went to lay against his chest, that space there felt like home.

  Now, all I felt was loss and confusion.

  Eventually, after hours of sobbing, my eyes finally surrendered and drifted closed in sleep.

  “Sue? Sue?”

  Georgie’s voice called out to me as she shook my shoulder. As my eyes slowly flickered open, she widened her eyes at me.

  “You scared me half to death. When I walked into the apartment and saw the lights on, I thought someone had broken in until I noticed your purse hanging on the hook. What are you doing here? How could you come back and not tell us?”