Edie Browne's Cottage by the Sea

by Jane Linfoot

  My gulp’s so big I almost swallow my tongue, and next thing the glue brush is splattering across the hut. ‘Sh-i-i-i-i-t …’

  ‘Is that “shit” for the paste on the floor, or “shit” because, excuse the cliché, I finally hit the nail on the head?’ His stare is so hard as he passes the brush back it’s turning me inside out.

  I might as well come out with it. ‘Where I come from shepherd’s huts mean rich townies faking the simple life.’ Having to expand on my ‘more money than sense’ objections, I’m understanding them better myself. ‘It’s all about pretence, and people with their heads up their bums; it’s not the best scene.’

  ‘Objecting on Marie Antoinette grounds? That’s an interesting take, from Planet Bath and Bristol.’

  ‘So how’s it different here? It’s still people trying to buy happiness, and you flogging them dreams that won’t come true.’ Put like that, I can hardly believe I’ve been working for the cause. But painting them is one thing, selling them’s another entirely.

  ‘Edie Browne, you make me sound like a charlatan and a cheat.’ From his breaking grin, my arguments seem to be amusing him more than upsetting him. ‘Maybe people here have less money, but I don’t feel they have unrealistic expectations for what the product will deliver. Let’s face it, people in St Aidan take responsibility for making their own happiness.’

  ‘Okay.’ I still can’t help pulling my sceptical face.

  ‘Sure, they’re spending money, but in a creative way. Most of our customers are simply buying space that will make their lives better.’ Put like that it’s almost acceptable.

  ‘I’ll save that one for Mr and Mrs Pink, then.’

  ‘You won’t have long to wait.’ He squints over his shoulder. ‘They’re here now.’

  ‘Crap shit bollocks, you might have said.’ I’m tugging at my saggy cut-offs, wishing I hadn’t skimped on the statement lippy. ‘What about the teensy problem of me looking like shit?’ Smart and presentable is a million miles off his radar.

  ‘Don’t worry, you’re fine. In any case, that vest is the perfect mix of rebellion and stylish wit.’

  ‘Why, what does it say?’ When I pulled it on after the walk on the beach I was in too much of a rush to hang around to read the logo.

  ‘Luxure, Fierté, Gloutonnerie …’ There are crinkles at the corners of his eyes again. ‘Lust, pride, gluttony – it’s the seven deadly sins, in French.’

  ‘That’s good for workplace uniform?’ There’s not even time to put it on back-to-front.

  ‘It works for me.’ As he turns back to the orchard he’s laughing properly. ‘Come on, I’ll introduce you.’

  As I follow Barney down the steps, the couple tiptoeing across the grass look completely unsure and a lot like how I expect my mum and dad will look ten years’ from now. As my smile widens with no effort from me, I’m scrubbing out all my ideas about picky clients.

  ‘Mary and Jim have both their elderly mums living with them, which is why they’re looking for a garden retreat to escape to.’ Barney turns to me. ‘This is Edie. She’ll show you how far we’ve got with the Spots and Pots hut you liked the sound of and then she’ll run you up to the barn yard to give you more idea of what will be going in it.’

  ‘Hi there, lovely to meet you.’ I give a cough. ‘And I think Barney means Daisies and Dots or Dots and Daisies even.’ What hope is there when neither of us can even get the name right? ‘It’s this way.’ I’m heading back up the steps, but Mary’s hanging back.

  ‘Does it come with bunting?’

  ‘It can come with anything you like.’

  ‘There you are, Jim, you can’t argue with that.’ The way Mary smiles at me first, then shakes her head at Jim’s back reminds me of my mum when she’s trying to make improvements around our house. If Jim’s anything like as set in his ways as my dad, they won’t be buying for years, which takes the pressure off me. Mary’s already sold on this, but I already know nothing I do will help persuade Jim.

  As I whisk them in, first we have to stop to say hello to Dustin, then we get down to business. I’m so sad to hear Mary sighing over the patchwork wall, knowing there’s no chance Jim’s going to let her have one, I completely forget to worry about my words drying up. Later, when we all go up to the barn yard showrooms and she tries out the red checked armchairs I’ve chosen, and nods at the pale blue blind fabric, and reaches out to touch the polka dot cushions I’ve picked out, my heart is squishing for her. By the time she opens and closes the cupboards I’ve put to one side and lingers over the petal-shaped cut-outs on the bookcase, I’m almost reaching for my hanky.

  In the end she chooses one of Beth’s lanterns and some scented candles, and I take them back so they can pay Barney for those, and they’re still there waving as Dustin and I wander back into the orchard. If all the customers were as nice as those two, I’d happily show them round all day every day – but obviously Barney would go broke because no one would be buying.

  It only takes a few more pieces on my patchwork wall for me to realise I’m running out of glue. As I head back to Periwinkle for a paste top-up and wave my bucket at Barney across the courtyard to let him know where Dustin and I are going, Jim and Mary are still with him. I have time to mix my paste, and have a good chat to the decorator, and they’re still only just driving off down the lane. As we arrive back at the shepherd’s huts, Dustin’s sniffing the tree trunks and I’m swinging my much bigger, very full bucket, and it’s a surprise to see Barney’s already there waiting for us, sitting on the steps of the pink hut.

  ‘More customers?’ At this rate the patchwork’s going to take days.

  ‘Better than that, Edie B.’ As he stands up his palm is raised and as I inadvertently raise mine he high fives me, then whooshes Dustin into a hug. ‘Congratulations, you just made your first sale.’

  ‘I WHAT?’ I take a step backwards so I can see his face better and decide if he’s serious.

  ‘Mary and Jim just bought a—’ As I stare at them his eyes go wide. ‘Watch out, Edie—’

  By the time I realise he’s telling me to look out for the log behind me it’s too late. My feet have already collided with it, my balance has gone and I’m catapulting backwards. Worse still, as my arms flail wildly my bucket lifts. As it traces a huge arc, the paste shoots out and takes on a life of its own, flying upwards like a splurge of wild ectoplasm against the sky. Then as I thud backwards onto the grass the paste falls faster, landing in one huge unceremonious splat that somehow covers most of my body.

  ‘Holeeeeee sh-i-i-i-i-t.’ I’m scraping the gunk out of my eyes and blowing it out of my mouth, and there’s something furry and warm wriggling under my head. ‘Dustin, what the hell?’ As I put out my hand his body writhes underneath my fingers and I can’t hold in my howl. ‘Noooooooo, I fell on Dustin.’ I’m scrabbling in the dirt, desperately trying to take my weight off him. ‘Did I kill him?’ But the moment I manage to lift my head and push myself up onto my elbows, there’s a flash of white fur, a whole new splash of paste splatters, and Dustin’s wriggled free and is dashing between Barney and me, barking frantically.

  ‘Good lad, Dustin, settle down. Edie’s okay, you’ve done your job.’ As Barney stoops down beside me, the racket subsides. ‘Thank you, well done, Dustin, that was brilliant.’ He looks down at me. ‘On balance I’d say he’s way too noisy to be dead.’

  ‘Thank Christmas for that.’ I’m rubbing Dustin’s head, and as his nose comes in to find my ear I hook my arm around his neck and pull his panting body against mine.

  ‘You didn’t crush Dustin, he was actually in front of you when you fell. What you felt there was him making sure you didn’t bang your head when you fell by cushioning your head with his body.’

  ‘Oh my.’ I’m swallowing back my tears at the thought that he’d do that.

  Barney’s hand is on my shoulder and he’s smiling down at me. ‘He was trained to rescue his owner if she had a seizure. Once you sat up and he sensed you weren’t fit
ting he came to attract my attention so I’d come to help.’

  ‘Wow, that’s amazing.’

  ‘It seemed wrong to put it to the test when he’s not your dog, but it’s good to accidentally find out he’ll be there to help you if ever you need it.’ Barney’s biting back his smile. ‘Obviously if we’d tried it ourselves earlier, we could have done it without the paste explosion.’

  Despite the paste, I’m still burying my face in Dustin’s side. ‘After this Aunty Jo will have to let him in next door.’

  ‘You’ll both need a shower before either of you are allowed anywhere near Periwinkle. I reckon Dustin’s had his sights set on your bed since he arrived, him getting all heroic is his way of sealing the deal.’ As Barney unpeels his hand from my arm he starts to laugh. ‘Jeez, you couldn’t be any more sticky … Wait there, I’ll grab you a towel from the line.’

  ‘Sorry to wreck the display.’

  ‘Wreck as many as you like, you just sold a Ditsy Spot. That’s what we were talking about when you tripped.’

  ‘A pink one?’

  ‘Fully decorated, with enough extras to fill an entire garden.’

  ‘Shucks.’ Even I know that’s major. ‘But how?’

  ‘Mary and Jim loved what you showed them, but they liked that you weren’t pushy.’

  ‘I really didn’t think Jim was up for it.’

  ‘He wasn’t at all – but you showed him life would be better with a hut to retreat to.’

  I can’t take credit here. ‘But I stole that from you.’

  ‘You only used what we talked about earlier to make them see that truth – a hut will be wonderful in their situation. I watched you walking around, you’re great at making people feel at ease, and getting them to listen.’ There’s a light in his eyes I haven’t seen before. ‘With me talking to them about the construction, and you dealing with the interiors, I reckon that’s our blueprint for the future.’

  If he were Jake in one of those appraisal meetings we have, he’d be praising me for my fabulous customer communication skills, but I seriously doubt there’s any such thing in St Aidan. I’m about to gush back – as best I can – but the last word stops me dead. If ‘the future’ sounds big and permanent, that’s only because it is. But much more importantly, for me the future isn’t here, it’s somewhere else entirely. This bit is just another one of those rooms I’m moving through, and I’ll be shutting the door on this one very soon. Lately, when I get out my calendar timeline, the part that’s left in St Aidan is looking tiny.

  The funny thing is, for a time after I arrived I had this doubt that I’d ever make it back to the beginning again. I had this sagging feeling deep inside that I’d never be good enough again. But lately, mostly thanks to Barney, I’m smashing it. I know it was the last thing I wanted when he suggested it, but working on the huts is what has pushed me forwards. It’s given me confidence that so long as I do things in my own way, I’ll get there. He’s let me dabble in the design side I’ve always hankered after trying, I’ve found out I’m way more creative than I thought, I still notice all the picky details that Jake relied on me for. And today has made me realise, I may have less control over my words and my banter might be scarily non-existent, but somehow I can still make that connection with people. I can still say enough of what’s important. Basically, what’s missing is the froth, the bit that didn’t matter anyway. Hell, if I can sell a shepherd’s hut to a man who had no intention of buying one, I’m well on my way. Not that I’m one to big myself up, but this morning may have sealed my ticket back to Bath and Bristol. And the more it sinks in, the more I feel like I’m flying.

  ‘You do know I’m only here for the summer.’

  ‘Summer’s barely begun.’ He sniffs. ‘If you think St Aidan’s crowded now, just wait. When the summer rush really gets underway, you’ll know what rammed means.’

  ‘Then I’m going home.’ This has always been the plan. First it’s my mum’s birthday, and I’m going back for her party, and soon after that is when my leave from work comes to an end.

  ‘It’s always summer in St Aidan, Edie Browne.’ He frowns. ‘That sounds like a line from a song.’

  ‘Please not your guitar.’

  ‘Sorry, but selling a hut has to be the best excuse.’ He gives a low laugh. ‘I’ll take requests?’

  ‘You’re way too sticky to play.’ I can’t help thinking back to that first day on the beach when Dustin arrived. How Barney’s laid-back voice and the words of Perfect Day did make the little bubble of the moment the kind of perfect that would never happen again. It would be wrong even to hope to recreate it. Then I slide back to reality. Of course I don’t want to listen to bloody guitar strumming, why the hell would I even waver on that? The faster I get out of here, the better.

  ‘It’s your loss.’ He gets up, grabs a towel and tosses it down to me. ‘You know, crazy as it sounds, Cam and I were kind of hoping you’d want to stay forever.’

  There’s a second when my stomach drops so fast every bit of air leaves my chest cavity. Then I fill my lungs again, and get hold of myself. ‘But I have to go, I belong somewhere else. It’s an accident I was ever here at all.’ However much I’ve fallen in love with the shimmer of the sea, and the certainty that those wonderful waves will always keep on rolling in up the beach, St Aidan is the last place I’d have ended up if I hadn’t been ill. It’s ironic that it’s Barney’s help, with all the long walks, and the work challenges, that made me up my game. Without those I’d be so far behind where I am now. As it is I feel more and more like a normal, functioning human every day. He gave me the key to unlock my prison, and the minute the door opens far enough I’ll be up and away.

  And then Aunty Jo will be heading out of town too. I couldn’t have stayed on without her, and the cottage is closing in on finished. It won’t be long before we’ll be calling the agents in, and with my quest complete it’s onto the next thing. Hopefully I’ll be back to the start. Or near enough that no one will notice the difference when I slip back into my place in Bath again. With a few St Aidan cheats to carry me on my way, and my new-found talent for taking the long way around but getting there in the end, I’ll surely be – what’s that old saying? A-okay.

  ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t be laying this on you. It’s fine, we’ll man up, we’re tough.’ Barney holds out his hand and hauls me to my feet the lines on his face makes him look anything but. ‘Come on, it’s the hose for you two.’

  As I stand by the tap in the courtyard with Dustin, as the water rains down on us in a spray of diamond drops in the sunlight, turning my skin to ice and forcing every bit of breath out of my body, there are two things that are needling me. First, a few minutes ago I was soaring. But now I’m like a hot air balloon that’s lost its hot air and collapsed in a bundle. Second, I’m thinking of home. How far away it feels. And what a huge change it’s going to be when I jump back there. Which has to explain why, when I glimpse a figure passing on the lane, I’m somehow imagining it looks like Marcus. Because when I go back home, he won’t be figuring at all.

  36

  Day 239: Thursday, 28th June

  In the orchard at Saltings Lane. The next bit …

  Epic Achievement: Shampooing Dustin

  (He is such a wriggling reluctant client, reminding me why I will never be looking for work in a doggy grooming salon.)

  ‘So how many deadly sins T-shirts have you got?’

  When I went back to Periwinkle Cottage to grab a proper shower and new clothes and looked more closely further down my pile of clean vests, I found faded blue and khaki versions with exactly the same logo. So now I’m back in the orchard, complete with a new paste supply, but before I pick up where I left off on the pink hut, I might as well clear this question up.

  ‘Maybe six. Or even more?’ Barney gives an embarrassed shrug. ‘Actually seven makes sense. It was Beth and Loella’s idea of a joke a couple of Christmases ago, their very unsubtle way of encouraging me to be more wild and out there. Every par
cel I opened from around the tree was the same logo on a different colour T-shirt.’

  ‘You have Christmas together with presents from everyone?’

  ‘And you don’t?’

  I do, but obviously Christmas with Mum and Dad and Tash and Brian and Tiddlywink and Wilf – and sometimes Marcus, when we were together – is a very different deal from a free-for-all gift-fest here on the lane. It’s not just the shock that that’s how he celebrates, I actually can’t believe the Secret Santa thing hasn’t reached St Aidan. But taking in his bemused stare, I decide to skip the details of how that one works. ‘So did you take the advice?’

  ‘What do you think?’ There’s a teasing laziness about his half smile. ‘I’d hardly be this wicked if I hadn’t.’

  Bella would undoubtedly swap sexy for lazy and slam Barney for inappropriate body language in the workplace, but – shit, crap and bollocky stuff – I was the one who actually began this, so I need to move things on.

  ‘Anyw-a-a-a-y I better get started.’

  ‘About that.’ As he clears his throat he’s sounding more cryptic than I do. ‘I meant to say, Mary and Jim are in a hurry.’

  ‘They stayed a long time if they were rushing.’ Just saying, he’s surely got that wrong.

  ‘That’s why we were talking so long, they offered to pay a premium for immediate delivery. Would you be up for helping them with that?’

  ‘Delivery?’ I’m frowning because I don’t get it. ‘Of what?’

  ‘Well, if we really cracked on we could finish this hut by early next week and let them have it. They’d like to come and see you tomorrow to finalise the exact bits they’d like to add in, and get your advice on colours.’

  ‘You want to sell the display?’

  ‘So long as you agree. They’re such a lovely couple, and it’s the fastest way to get them their hut. Don’t worry, we’ll soon make you another and paint that one pink too.’ Incredible. What was I saying about making it up as he goes along?

  ‘Great.’ It isn’t at all. ‘In that case I really do need to get on.’