Everlasting

by Candace Knoebel

  Silence. It’s so thick that it closes in on me, depriving me of oxygen, of sanity. Yellow eyes move closer to me, glowing and swirling. A sob tears from the depths of my soul as I scream out in terror.

  “Faye! Wake up! You’re safe.” My eyes flitter open. They desperately try to adjust against the harsh orange-yellow light slanting in through the blinds. “I’m here.” It’s Katie’s voice I hear as her hand grips mine. I pull my other hand up to my face, rubbing the crust from my eyes.

  “Where am I?” I ask, my vision finally settling on her. Her shoulders are slumped over, and her eyes are puffy and red. Her hair is a tangled mess around her face, partially shielding the frown marring her pouting lips. She looks exactly how I feel on the inside; broken and tired.

  “In the infirmary.”

  “Gavin?”

  “He’s okay.”

  Relief rushes out of my lungs. He’s okay. Everything is okay. We made it out alive. Yellow eyes surface in my mind, of the man who saved us. I look around my room, but it’s just Katie. He isn’t here. The image of hearts beating in his hands sends a shot of acid up my throat. I look back at Katie, swallowing thickly.

  “The Elite Watchmen arrived right after the Darkyn Witches and fought most of them off. Luckily, only one novice was injured, and it was minor,” she explains.

  Memories of our last encounter crash the sleepy daze my mind is in. A war of conflicting emotions catches fire within me. My jaw clenches, yet my heart seizes up at the sight of her. My mind wants her to leave, but my heart wants her to stay. I want to say I’m sorry, but think she should say it first.

  “Anyway, I brought this for you. He wouldn’t leave your door, and when I opened it, he jumped on the bed and started licking your face,” she says faintly. She turns and points to a black cat on the windowsill. It’s the cat I saw before I passed out. “I think he needs a home, and I think he’d be good for you.”

  I don’t say anything. I don’t think my lips can even form words, at least none that are suitable, none that I won’t regret. I look down at my tingling hands. My pale knuckles are streaked with red from gripping the sheets so tight.

  She covers her face with her hands, and all at once her shoulders shake with silent sobs. I’m up and off my bed before I can even blink, hugging her to me. “I’m so sorry, Faye,” she says in between sobs, her words shadowed with guilt and sorrow. “I don’t know why I said all those awful things to you. You didn’t deserve it. You were just being a good friend.”

  An uncomfortable weight settles on my heart. Why did I drag that out? Why did I push her to this point? I hate seeing her so upset. I hate being the reason she’s upset. I rest her head on my shoulder and squeeze her tighter. Guilt and resolution slide down my cheek and drip onto her shoulder.

  “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did either,” I say, my voice unsteady. “I was just trying to help. I realize now that not everything in our lives has to be done together. Not every path we walk is conjoined, but to think that he hurt you…that he would continue to hurt you…” I stop, my lips pressing into a thin line. I inhale composure and pull away to look at her. Understanding pools in her eyes. “I couldn’t help it, Kat. You’re my sister.”

  Her face turns red, her eyes erratically scrunching in and out as she tries to fight back the need to cry. I have to look away from her. If I don’t, I know that I’ll completely break…something that can’t happen. Not now. Not if I want a chance to repair myself.

  “You were almost abducted the other night, and I had treated you so badly,” she says, her voice a quiet tremor. “What if you had been taken? What if you had been hurt? Can you ever forgive me?”

  My brow dips low. “Only if you promise to make up for it with chocolate ice cream.” I stare at her for a moment. The beginning of a smile forms, but never fully surfaces. She rubs at the tears staining her face, her silent sobs subsiding into snivels. I move back to my bed, wincing when I climb on it. Every muscle in my body feels like it’s been overworked. The movement alone left me out of breath.

  “How long have I been out?” I ask, rubbing at my shoulder.

  She gets up and comes around my bed to stand behind me. After smacking my hand away, she starts rubbing my shoulders with the right amount of pressure. My head reflexively falls forward as my eyes roll back in my head.

  “You’ve been out for two days,” she says, working her thumbs up my neck. “The Witch nurse gave you a sleeping potion that would allow your body to rejuvenate. Whatever you went up against, I was told you shouldn’t have survived. They had some form of dark magic that hasn’t been seen since Mourdyn’s time. I guess, when you hit their spells, the magic they use sucked every bit of magic from you. If it hadn’t been for Weldon…”

  “Weldon?” I ask, my head bobbing back up.

  Her hands still. “Yeah, he’s the one who saved you and Gavin. You just missed him. He stayed until he was sure you and Gavin were going to wake, and then was escorted off campus. You know what’s strange?”

  “He has unnatural golden eyes?”

  Her nimble fingers move, working out the large knots in my shoulders. “Well, yes, that is strange, but I was going to say that he almost looks like Elder Maddock. Weird, right?”

  “He’s Mack’s twin.”

  “No way!” she says, letting go of my shoulders. Her head appears from around my shoulder, her nose almost touching mine. “You know, I asked him, but he totally denied it. He actually seemed offended that I even asked.”

  “Hmph,” I mutter, my thoughts drifting off. A flurry of questions floats behind my eyes, rapidly shooting off. How did he know to come that night? Why did he help us? Why didn’t he stay? Why did he deny being related to Mack? And how is he a friend of Jaxen’s?

  “…but I told them you’d probably want to wait, since Mack and Jaxen are on their way back from Ethryeal City,” she said. “Right?”

  “Huh?” I ask. “Sorry, I only caught the tail end of that.”

  She stops rubbing my neck and cracks her knuckles before moving to sit in the chair in front of me. “I just said Cassie and Jezi wanted to question you about what happened, but I told them to wait for everyone to get here, everyone meaning Elder Maddock and Jaxen. They left Ethryeal City as soon as they heard.”

  Heat flares up at the mention of Jaxen. What will he say to me? Will he even speak to me? “Good,” I say, forcing out a smile. I pull my hair back to keep it out of my face and use one of her bands to tie a messy bun up on top of my head. I’m glad she’s come around, even if it took this for it to happen. I’ve missed her. “How are you? Really?” I ask, not wanting the focus to be all on me.

  She shifts in her seat, tucking some of the fallen hair behind her ear. She inhales deeply, and then words spew from her mouth. “I’m…well, actually, I’m a mess. I haven’t fit in as well as I thought I would. I mean, we were so kick ass in high school…I kind of thought it would be the same, but how can it be, without you by my side? Thelma isn’t Thelma without her Louise. And then everything with Chett. I took all of my frustrations out on you. I know I did. You only did what I would have done for you. Then there was the whole scare with the Darkyn attack and finding out you were hurt. It’s been a wild and shaky first couple of months.” Her hands fly with every word until her lungs constrict her ability to speak. She gasps, sucking in air, and then exhales heavily, like every pent-up worry has finally been released.

  I squeeze her hand. “I’m sorry, Kat. It hasn’t been easy for anyone, I don’t think.”

  The cat hops up onto my bed. He rubs his face against my chest, purring and flicking his tail. I pet him, enjoying the soft feel of his black fur. “I guess you need a home,” I say to him. I look up at Katie and smile, and then back down at him. “And a name.” I rub behind his velvet ears. He leans into the rub as if agreeing with me. “How about…Mr. Kitty?”

  The cat jumps off me, his yellow eyes almost scowling. I laugh.

  “No?” I think for a moment, trying to think of so
mething with meaning, but I don’t even know him. I haven’t learned his habits.

  “You’re black,” I say, thinking out loud. “Maybe I should stick to that. How about…Raven?” The cat takes a hesitant step toward me, but doesn’t come all the way. Maybe I’m on to something. “Ebony?” I say with a laugh.

  Katie joins in. “Ebony and Ivory. Ooh la la.”

  The cat doesn’t move. He just squints beady yellow eyes at me.

  “What about Midnight?” The cat leaps back onto my chest and settles, resuming his purring. “Midnight it is,” I say, yawning again.

  A Witch nurse opens the door. “Ahh, you’re awake,” she says, pausing in the doorway. Her eyes graze over the cat, but she never says anything about him. Her gray hair is pulled back into a tight bun. Soft wrinkles frame her mouth. Her gray eyes find mine, comfort and curiosity speckling through them. “Feeling any better?”

  “Yes, thank you,” I say, adding in a smile.

  Her lips take the shape of a warm smile, the kind I imagine a grandmother would wear. “You’re quite welcome,” she says. “You should be back to full strength once you meditate. We were just waiting for the effects of the potion to wear off. I’ll let the other Elders know you’re up.”

  I smile, and then she shuts the door.

  “I’m glad you’re better,” Katie says after a moment. I nod and lean back in the bed, shutting my eyes for a moment. There’s so much to sort out…so much confusion to unscramble. It’s almost overwhelming.

  Another knock sounds on the door, and my eyes flick open. Gavin’s head pokes through. The cat hops down and back up to the windowsill.

  “Hey!” I say, jumping off the bed. I rush over to him and throw my arms around his neck, squeezing him to me. He laughs and squeezes me back, wincing on his side. The moment I realize what I’m doing, I let go, stepping away from him. My face burns as bad as a sunburn. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I say, looking to the floor.

  “Same to you. We got lucky, right?” He smiles and looks past me to where Katie sits. “Is this your friend?”

  “Yep.” I look over at her. “Katie, this is Gavin Gramm.”

  “Nice to meet you, Gavin Gramm,” Katie says, smiling at him.

  Gavin returns a small smile and moves closer to the foot of my bed. “I came by to talk to you about what happened the other night. Do you know why they came here?”

  “No,” I say honestly. “Other than my unique powers, I have no idea why they’d want me or what they’d want me for. Or how they even know about me for that matter.”

  He shifts his stance, scratching the dark stubble along his jawline. “I figured as much. According to Weldon, there’s been talk that they’d be coming for you. I guess whatever you did at the Culling was like a calling card to everything evil. I don’t know how they slipped past the protective barrier around the Academy, but Weldon followed them in the moment he knew something was going down. Thank God.”

  “Yeah,” I say, shuddering from the thought of what would have happened had he not been there. It’s an image coated in blood, an image I want to scrub from my brain

  “I’m going to ask if Weldon can be added to our circuit of trainers.” His head hangs a little, and he rubs the back of his neck.

  “You are?”

  “Yeah. Hopefully Mack will say yes.”

  The door opens again. My heart stops at the sight of Jaxen. Memories of our last encounter, our last argument, pulse through my mind and heart. Mack steps in behind him. I see him, but I don’t take my eyes off the one who’s had me in an emotional limbo.

  “Say yes to what?” Mack asks as he shuts the door behind them, the sound hollow and loud. I snap out of it and look over at Mack. He looks mildly irritated and overwhelmingly curious with a book clutched in his hand.

  This is going to be fun.

  AFTER GOING OVER EVERY LAST detail I can remember, I lean back against my bed and take in a much needed breath. Everyone stares at me, thoughts drifting around the room like wandering butterflies. Since they entered, I haven’t looked Jaxen’s way. I don’t want to. I’m afraid of what I’ll see in his eyes. Or won’t see.

  “There have been threats made concerning this event,” Mack admits after a long while. He sounds defeated, broken down, like he’s lost a battle within himself. He walks over to the chair next to Katie and sits down, staring blankly in front of him. He looks like he’s aged since he’s been away. “I just didn’t believe they’d actually follow through with them. There’s no way their numbers are strong enough to take on our Coven’s best.” He rubs his chin in thought.

  “Wait… you knew and didn’t have anyone extra placed on security detailing?” Gavin asks, his mouth slacking into a displeased frown.

  Mack’s eyes cut to his. “Like I said, I didn’t think it was anything to worry about.” It’s clear in his tone that he doesn’t want anyone pushing the matter any further. The guilt he feels for having misjudged their seriousness is also clear.

  I don’t know how I should feel about it. He knew and didn’t warn anyone? Gavin could have been killed. I could have been killed.

  Mack shifts in his seat, the book resting in his lap. Midnight looks over at him. “Someone must have put a dent in the protection spell around this Academy, granting the Darkyn Witches access. Thankfully, against my better judgment, Jaxen kept in touch enough with my brother to keep him in the loop. Had it not been for him…”

  I can’t help but look Jaxen’s way. His eyes are trained on Mack, his body frozen in a stance of practiced rigidity. His arms are crossed over his chest, and his eyes never find mine. I don’t understand why my heart feels like it’s being crushed underneath his foot.

  “First, it was the seasoned Vamp in the forest,” Jaxen says, grabbing everyone’s attention. “You did nothing about that. Then, it was the threats I found in your office against Faye, and you telling me not to worry. You promised me extra men, and they never showed.”

  Mack runs his hands down his pants, and then looks up at Jaxen. He’s gritting his teeth. “They never showed because I was trying to keep Faye’s unique situation under the radar. Everything would have worked out fine had she done as I asked and kept a low profile.”

  I look away, biting down the words of anger that crawl up my throat. I will not give in to my emotions. I will not give in to my emotions.

  “So what do you suggest we do now?” Jaxen asks, his tone too quiet and too neutral to read. It almost makes me jealous that he’s so in control of himself when I’m barely hanging on by the skin of my teeth.

  “Gavin seems to think that, along with added campus security, adding my brother to the mix will be a fitting solution,” Mack says, directing his chin to Gavin. He doesn’t sound in the least bit pleased at the prospect.

  Gavin strengthens his posture. “With all due respect, we trust Weldon. He saved us when he didn’t have to.” He flicks his eyes to Jaxen and then back to Mack. “And he has an ear on both sides of the playing field.”

  “I wonder why,” Mack says under his breath. He sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I agree with you. He’s the best for helping Faye at this point in the game, but I need to ensure this is okay with the other Elders first.” His resistance has collapsed under the weight of us all. He sighs heavily, and then looks at me. “Your temper…turn it off.”

  “What?” I ask.

  He leans forward ever so slightly, narrowing his eyes. “Turn it off, or I won’t discuss your parents’ situation with you.”

  Hands of fear and dread wrap around me, just waiting to pull me under. I sneak a glance in Jaxen’s direction. He’s not looking at me. He’s looking out the window with his head dipped low. Midnight stares up at him. With much effort, I force my emotions down. I look back up at Mack, my face even and blank.

  “Good,” he says. “The High Priesthood expects you to take the quarter trial along with the other first years, but you are to continue training away from them. Too many parents are worried for the
ir children’s safety. If you pass the trial, due to your advanced skills and strengths, and the unique situation, you’ll be rushed to take the oath to secure your place within the Night Watchmen.”

  “Wait…what?” Gavin says.

  “That’s…I thought I would be here for the full four years,” I say, barely able to hear my own voice.

  “Due to the circumstance, and the growing threat against you, it’s of importance to get you trained and out of this Academy, not only for your safety, but for the safety of the other novices. I’m currently working with the Priesthood to give you time in the field before you are summoned to Ethryeal City, but there are no guarantees. My advice to you is to be on your best behavior and do well in your trial.”

  “And my parents?”

  His face drops. “There’s no easy way to put this, Faye.” He pulls in a breath that threatens to suck every bit of oxygen out of the room, and then lands a blow that just about shatters me into a million pieces. “They’re being held in the Underground.”

  I hear both Gavin and Katie gasp. But not Jaxen. He doesn’t even flinch. He knew. He knew and he didn’t tell me. My stomach lurches as I try to find steady ground to stand on. “The Underground? The place we cannot enter and cannot return from? The place where Mourdyn was put down?” I feel my head shaking in denial, my hands trembling at my sides. All of this was for nothing. My parents are gone. Underground. My thoughts scatter, drifting further and further away, preventing me from making sense of anything.

  He pushes a book toward me. “I want you to read this. It might help you. When you’re finished, we’ll discuss your observations.”

  “How is a book about Whiskey Hallow going to help her?” Gavin asks him under his breath, flicking a sidelong glance between the book and Mack.

  Jaxen keeps his back to me, and I want to throw the book I now have in my hands at him. Anything to make him look at me.

  “Did you hear me?” Mack asks me, his tone a little softer this time.