by Fiona Lowe
“So?” he said, being deliberately obtuse because he loved seeing her blush.
The pink started on her décolletage and rose up her neck and along her cheeks. “So I was thinking we could...” She swallowed.
He laughed good-naturedly at her struggle. “See, this is why you should sext. You’d find it much easier typing out this stuff.”
“My phone’s dead,” she said with an almost hysterical edge to her voice, “and we’re wasting time.”
She had a point and he didn’t care if she sexted him or not. “We’ve never done it in the kitchen.”
“Tell me what’s sexy about cold granite?”
He laughed. “It might be fun to find out.”
“I want a bed, Ben.”
Something about the quiet way she insisted on a bed rammed it home that this was one of only a few more times they’d be having sex. “Good idea.” He grabbed her hand, took her upstairs and peeled her naked.
As her arms and legs wrapped around him and he buried himself inside her, he used thrust after delicious thrust to block the faint voice in his head that said, you’ll miss her.
When his orgasm rocked him, thankfully the only sound he could hear was his ragged breathing.
He rolled away quickly so as not to flatten her and he brought her with him, enjoying the way she fitted in against his side and how her hair tickled his nose.”Thank you.” He pressed a kiss into her hair. “And here I was thinking that riding Red was going to be the highlight of my day.”
“And there’s still soup to come.” Her laugh sounded strained and then she pressed a kiss to his chest.
His fingers tangled in her curls. “I want to take you on a ride tomorrow. I thought we could do the trip your folks did with Ella and Al. It sounded pretty.”
“I’d love it.” She raised her head. “Actually, I’ve been thinking maybe I could tag along with you and Red for a bit.”
His barely settled post-sex heart rate jumped as her words sent a surge of adrenaline into his system. It was the last thing he’d ever expected her to say and he struggled to construct a response that didn’t sound like, hell no. “What about your job interview? You’ve been so excited about it?”
She stared at her fingers, which were splayed against his chest. “The more research I’ve done the less I think this job is really me. Besides,” she smiled brightly, “I’ve never been on a road trip, let alone on a bike so I thought, why not?”
So many reasons why not.
Although Amy had always shown interest in his journey, he’d got the impression she really couldn’t fathom how anyone would walk away from a good job and just travel. So why was she asking to tag along? He was used to her uncertainty about a lot of things in her life, but never her work. Then again, being laid off screwed with self-confidence. “It sounds to me like you’ve got the interview jitters.”
Her large gray eyes swirled with shadows. “I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.” He kissed her on the nose, not sure which of them he was trying to reassure the most. “Have faith in yourself. Stokes and Bent are going to love you so much they’ll hire you on the spot.”
She gave a tight laugh, sat up and pulled on her sweats and polo shirt. “I better go check the soup and put the bread rolls in the oven.”
His heart rate kicked back slightly at the return to the normal topic of lunch. That and he’d just dodged a bullet. “I’ll be down in a bit.”
“Sure.”
As she left, he simultaneously threw back the covers and heard a beeping and vibrating noise that sounded just like Amy’s phone. “Amy!” he called out but she didn’t reply or return. The phone kept buzzing and he turned toward the source of the sound to see the phone moving across the nightstand and edging perilously close to the edge.
He threw himself across the bed and caught the phone just before it fell. He couldn’t help but notice the text was from her sister, Cindy.
Another Ben photo for your collection. His butt is super cute in this one.
He grinned. There was a photo collection? Justifying that as the photo involved him, he could look at it, he scrolled across the touch screen. Sure enough, there was a photo of him bending over to pick up a rock that had caught his eye on one of the walks with the Sagars.
He laughed at the memory of Cindy telling him soon after he’d shoved the rock in his backpack that the view was worth the walk. Her comment had confused him at the time because they were standing close to a rather sickly-looking pine tree.
As he closed the screen, he wondered what other photos the sisters were sharing about him and that’s when he saw the name Jonathon Wiseman.
Jonathon. The guy her family had expected her to be with. The guy Amy refused to talk about and yet there was a text from him dated today.
A flash of jealousy ripped into him with an intensity he’d never known and he immediately opened the text and read it.
It wasn’t at all what he expected.
Chapter Twenty-One
Moron! Amy jerkily put the hot cookie sheet on a trivet, making the bread rolls bounce. She was furious with herself for giving in to a moment of post-sex weakness and asking Ben if she could join him on his trip. What had possessed her to do that? The question had just blurted out of her unbidden, sparked by the amazing feeling of resting her head on his chest, hearing and feeling the solid beat of his heart, and loving him so much that it hurt.
She’d caught the shock clear and stark on his face. Part of her understood but most of her had wanted him to hold her tightly and say, “Travel with me for the rest of my life.”
Yeah, like that’s going to happen. Not in a million lifetimes was he going to say that and all she’d done was expose her vulnerability. Tell him she didn’t want him to leave without her.
She heard his footsteps on the kitchen floor and she turned. He must have jumped in the shower because his hair was damp and tendrils kicked up at his nape as the strands dried. He smelled of soap, liniment and laundry powder and she wanted to bury her face in his chest, breathe him in and bank his scent. Bank it for the long days and nights ahead. Her heart tumbled in her chest at the thought of only one more day with him.
“Soup?” she asked, plunging the ladle into the big pot.
“Sounds good.” He grabbed silverware from the drawer, butter from the fridge and placed them on the table before sitting.
She set the soup on the table, placed the bread rolls in a basket, grabbed some napkins and joined him.
He broke open a crusty bread roll, the steam rising in a curl. “So I’ve been thinking about what you said and sure, why not? If you want to come along as I head south on Red, knock yourself out.”
Her spoon clattered into her soup, splashing some drops onto her shirt as the sweet feeling of joy exploded inside her. “You’re serious?”
His expression seemed guarded and he leaned forward, his green eyes riveted to her face. “Tell me why you suddenly want to come.”
I’m not tied down by a job. “I think all your travel stories have finally convinced me that I need to do some exploring of my own.”
“Is that right?” He tugged his hand away from hers and dug into his pocket. The next moment her phone was spinning toward her across the table.
She glanced at it, then at his stony face and rigid body and she didn’t understand what was going on. “Yes.”
“It’s a pretty convenient time for you to suddenly realize you need a road trip,” he said harshly.
A cold dread trickled through her. “What do you mean convenient?”
His arms folded hard across his chest and his mouth flattened into a grim, hard line. “You don’t have a job interview on Monday, do you?”
Fear tightened her throat, blocking all words from reaching her lips and then a
defensive anger burst out of her borne out of incredulousness. “You read my messages?”
“Oh yeah, you go right ahead and make me look like the bad guy here when you’re the one who’s been lying to me from day one.”
The derision in his voice sent her heart into thundering overdrive and she could barely hear let alone think. “I haven’t been lying to you.”
The pain of betrayal slashed his face and she knew he didn’t believe her.
“Oh, I forgot that in your lawyer world you’ve only been withholding the truth.” His words spat at her, viscous and acidic, burning her with his hurt. “Where I come from, Amy, that’s lying. Fuck, and I thought you were different.”
Her heart tore at the hardness in his eyes and the uncompromising set of his shoulders, all of which made him barely recognizable as the man she loved. He was staring at her as if she was dog shit on a sidewalk and to be avoided at all costs.
She pushed away her bowl, her stomach threatening to immediately eject anything that was put into it, and she forced herself to look at him. To say the words she’d been too afraid to ever say out loud because it made them real. “The truth is that I made an error in judgment and now I’m being sort of blackmailed.”
“Blackmailed?” He sounded skeptical but then he fisted both hands. “By that dickhead Jonathon you dated?”
She nodded, unable to put her voice to the word yes.
Ben’s fingers uncurled and he lifted his hand as if he was going to touch her but instead, he dropped it back by his side. “He’s taking your money?”
“No.” God, this was so hard. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. “He took my job and now he’s making sure I don’t get hired anywhere in Chicago or with companies associated with M.M. Enterprises.”
A muscle in his cheek twitched. “How’s he managing that?”
She rose and walked over to the window, standing with her back to him. She didn’t want to look at him when she told him the tawdry story. Didn’t want to see pity on his face or shame. Shame for her. “He has some emails and texts from me that are...” she sucked in a fortifying breath, “...sexual in nature.”
“So that’s why you won’t sext?” He sounded bemused and the she felt his breath on her neck. “Stop worrying. Every couple has sexts, Amy. They’re hardly blackmail worthy.”
She wanted to believe him. She wanted to turn and rest her head on his shoulder but she had to tell him the full story and to do that she had to stay separate from him. Crossing her arms over her chest to steady herself she said, “Jonathon was my junior at M.M. and I was his mentor. I was in a position of power over him in the office.”
For a moment, the only sound in the kitchen was the solid and relentless ticking of the clock. The noise mocked her and she wanted to run. Run fast and far, away from the whole sordid mess.
“He’s accusing you of sexual harassment?” Ben barked out a short, sharp half laugh of incredulity. “That’s insane, Amy. You’re not capable of sexually harassing anyone. Where does this prick live? I might need to visit him.”
The lawyer in her was horrified at the idea of such violence but the woman was overwhelmed by his support. “That’s kind of you to say but you don’t need an assault charge brought against you. If I’ve learned anything it’s that Jonathon’s as cunning as a fox. He’s been holding those texts over me like a ticking bomb. I didn’t think he’d ever go so far as to use them but he’s obviously told Stokes and Bent something because they canceled my interview.”
She kept her gaze fixed on the rippling water of the lake and reminded herself that if she told the story fast and without stopping, it might not hurt as much. “What I hate the most is my stupidity. From the moment I met him, I only ever saw him as a colleague and I recognized in him the same drive I had to succeed. Only I missed the memo that he’d do anything to get promoted, including getting rid of me so it could happen.”
She struggled to get the words out. “And he did it so expertly, starting with the accidental one-night stand a year after we’d been working together. We’d worked seventeen hours straight in a hotel room in Denver trying to avert a major contract crisis. I was punch-drunk with exhaustion and high from having saved the day and we ended up in bed. Afterward, he agreed with me that it was probably a mistake and it should never happen again. Looking back, that agreement was all part of his plan to slowly maneuver me into a compromised position. He was the one who a month later pushed for more. He said he’d been wrong and as long as we were careful, he couldn’t see a problem. After all, we were adults and our private life was just that and didn’t I agree?”
She finally turned to face him and bit her lip. “I liked him and I was flattered. There haven’t been a lot of men in my life who’ve actively pursued me and it totally screwed with my brain. It made me monumentally stupid.”
He wound one of her curls around his finger. “There isn’t a person out there who doesn’t warm to a bit of flattery, Amy. He sounds like a conniving, manipulative bastard. They’re clever sons of bitches and I’m guessing he suggested the sexting?”
“He said things were a bit boring and we should spice things up a bit.”
“No one wants to be accused of being boring,” he said, his eyes filling with genuine empathy. “But I don’t get it. If he hasn’t publically accused you of sexual harassment, how did he get your job?”
She shuddered. “I missed a hugely important meeting in Ohio, which didn’t go down well, and he went in my place, passing off my work as his own. I thought I’d caught a stomach bug but it turns out he deliberately put something into the surprise supper he cooked me the night before, which made me sick.”
“Jesus, Amy.” He slammed a fist into his palm, his anger making her jump. “I’ve heard of workplace sabotage but this...” his eyes had a dazed look in them, “...this is out of control. You need to go to the police.”
She shook her head so fast she saw spots. “There’s no point. I can’t prove that the dinner he cooked me made me sick and if I go to the police he’ll go public on the sexual harassment. Not only won’t I get a job in the law, I’ll lose any chance of starting another charity.” Tears stung the backs of her eyes. “That idea’s worse than not working in the law.”
“Shit. What a bloody mess.” He wrapped one arm around her and stroked her hair with the other. “No wonder you’ve been acting crazy now and then with all this going on.”
She breathed in the scent that was Ben and laid her head on his shoulder, feeling for the first time since the phone call with Jonathon that everything was going to work out. As hard as it had been to tell Ben, it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The news was out there and he hadn’t judged her. If anything, the vitriol in his voice whenever he mentioned Jonathon made her feel protected. The strength of his arms around her made her feel safe.
Loved.
The thought took hold. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I should have told you earlier but it’s not something I’m proud of.”
He stroked her hair soothingly and pressed a kiss onto her forehead as if to say, it’s okay. I get it.
She thought about these past few weeks—how he made her laugh, his generosity of spirit, and his gentle and supportive care. Of how much she loved him. Resting against him, feeling sheltered and secure in his arms, she felt the rickety protective fence she’d built around her heart fall over. She’d never been very brave when it came to men but this time, knowing that she’d found a wonderful man, a man who was her quiet champion, she didn’t want to let him go. She loved him and she didn’t want to live without him.
Raising her head, she lost herself in the rain-forest-green of his eyes. “I love you, Ben Armytage. I want to be with you wherever you are.”
His eyes widened into dark disks and his body jerked violently as if he’d just taken a high-voltage hit. His arms fell away. “No. You do
n’t.”
A tremble started in her toes and quickly spread through her. “No, I don’t what? Love you or want to come south with you?”
“Both.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Right now you think that running away with me is easier than going back to face that bastard and fighting for your job.”
She shook off his words. “Spending time with the person I love isn’t running.”
He gave her a withering look. “It is if it prevents you from doing what you’re good at. From what you’ve told me, you’ve spent years working hard to get to that position and your dad told me how you started that kids’ charity. You wouldn’t have done any of it if you didn’t love the work. If it wasn’t important to you.”
Did she love it? She loved the sense of purpose it gave her when there’d been no one to share her life with. She’d needed the recognition and pride that her parents took in her achievements because at least she’d made their sacrifices worth something and she’d loved the Kids Plus Foundation. And now she loved Ben. “Yes, but—”
“Then you have to fight for it. Your job is the one part of your life where you’re confident. Are you going to let that prick steal that from you? Hell, you worked there for five years and the people who respect you will know that you wouldn’t have threatened this guy in any way.”
His reassuring words weren’t enough to stop panic skittering again along her veins. “People are easily swayed. The moment those texts go public, they’ll create a tsunami of titillation that will swamp the truth. I’ll be left looking either desperate or predatory and no one anywhere will want to hire me. And my parents—” Her voice broke at the thought of them finding out. “If I fight this, Ben, I lose.”
His brows rose as if she was being overly dramatic. “Lose what exactly? You’ve got nothing now because you’ve rolled over and played the part of the weak woman he thinks you are. You’re allowing that douche bag to control where you can work, and letting him push you out of your career path.”
