Hour of the Doomed Dog

by Sam Hay

  “It gives you thirty seconds to get in position,” explained Joe. “Then it grabs.”

  Joe put his coin into the slot.

  “Go, Joe!” cried Toby.

  Carefully he edged the claw until it was right above the skull…

  But then Frankie thundered into the arcade and charged at him.

  Joe jerked the lever wildly. “NO!” he shouted.

  “Ha!” sniggered Damian. “You missed, too!”

  “JOE! JOE!” barked Frankie, pawing at Joe’s ankle with his claws. “I lost the men on the beach. You’ve got to help me find them!”

  “I nearly had it,” groaned Joe.

  “Yeah, yeah,” smirked Damian. “Look – air hockey! Come on, Toby, I’ll take you on. Maybe you’re better than your brother!”

  When they’d gone, Joe turned on Frankie. “I almost had that prize.”

  “You’re supposed to be helping ME,” growled Frankie, his green zombie eyes flashing.

  Joe crouched down and pretended to fiddle with his shoelaces in case anyone was watching. “Listen, what are you going to do if you find the robbers anyway?”

  Frankie cocked his head to one side as though he was thinking about it. “Spy on them.”

  “How will that help?”

  “They might say what time they’re coming on Saturday.”

  Joe rolled his eyes. “That’s bonkers! Baddies never lounge about on the beach shouting about their next crime.”

  Frankie glared at Joe. “What are we going to do then?”

  Joe paused. He hadn’t really thought about it. “We’ll have to go back to the hotel and keep watch,” he said finally. “And try and find out what they’re going to steal.”

  Frankie jumped to his feet. “Great plan. Let’s go!”

  “Soon,” whispered Joe. He could see Damian waving to him from the air-hockey table. “First I’ve got to beat my cousin!”

  Half an hour later, Joe had lost every game Damian had challenged him to. They finally left the arcade and walked back on to the pier.

  “Can we have an ice cream?” Toby asked, peering in a café window.

  Dad shook his head. “Mum’s just texted. She’s wondering where we are.”

  “Please, Dad,” Toby whined.

  “I bet I can eat more ice cream than you!” hissed Damian in Joe’s ear.

  “I’d love a knickerbocker glory,” beamed Uncle Len. “Come on. My treat!”

  “I think we’d better be getting back,” began Dad.

  But Uncle Len was already pushing open the café door. “Grab that table in the window, Damian. I’ll get more chairs.”

  The five of them squashed round the only empty table in the café and Uncle Len waved to a waitress to take their order.

  “What’s everyone having?” he asked.

  “Death by Chocolate!” said Damian. “With extra whipped cream and three flakes.”

  “Me, too!” Toby’s eyes were wide like saucers.

  “No, Toby,” said Dad. “You’d never finish a big sundae. Choose something smaller…”

  “What are you having, Joe?” Damian smirked.

  “A large banana split, please,” said Joe. “With extra toffee sauce.”

  “Do you want nuts on top?” asked the waitress.

  “Yes, please, and three flakes, too!”

  Dad frowned. “Are you sure you can eat all that, Joe?”

  “Course he can!” grinned Uncle Len. “And I’m paying – so everyone can have what they like.”

  “I bet I finish first!” hissed Damian.

  “What about me?” Frankie whined from under Joe’s chair. “Sylvia always lets me lick her ice cream.”

  Joe glanced down at Frankie. The undead dog’s mouth was watering and a little pool of green zombie drool was collecting on the floor.

  Joe shuddered. He definitely didn’t want to share his sundae with Frankie!

  The dog began to moan pitifully.

  The waitress appeared with their sundaes. Joe gulped when he saw the size of them – his banana split was as big as a beach ball!

  Frankie headbutted Joe’s ankles. “Where’s mine?”

  Joe ignored Frankie and began tucking in. But with every spoonful, Frankie’s moans became louder and louder…

  “What’s the matter, Joe?” Damian was waggling his spoon at him. “Is the ice cream too much for you?”

  Frankie began to howl, and then he grabbed the edge of the plastic tablecloth with his teeth and tugged!

  Joe looked in horror as his banana split splattered across the floor.

  “You should have seen it.” Damian grinned. “There was ice cream everywhere. Everyone was staring!”

  Joe scowled across at his cousin. They were back in the hotel now, sitting in the lounge bar with Mum and Auntie Kate. Uncle Len and Dad had gone off to play snooker. Sarah and Scarlet were sitting a few tables away with the bride-to-be, Megan, and some of her friends. Frankie was in the lobby, keeping watch. Joe was glad. He still wasn’t speaking to the crazy dog after the ice-cream incident!

  “Don’t worry about your sundae,” said Auntie Kate. “You should have seen the pickle Damian got into on holiday last year…”

  The smile suddenly vanished from Damian’s face.

  “He knocked a whole plate of spaghetti on to his lap!” beamed Auntie Kate.

  “No, I didn’t!” snapped Damian.

  “He was so embarrassed,” giggled Auntie Kate. “Especially as there was a group of teenagers at the next table,” she went on. “They thought it was hilarious!”

  “No, they didn’t!”

  “He ruined his favourite jeans, too,” added Auntie Kate.

  Damian glared at his mum.

  “Oh, look!” Mum exclaimed. “There’s Great-aunt Marion and Great-uncle Bob!” She waved to an old couple who’d appeared in the lounge.

  “Helen! Kate!” The old lady swept over, gathering Joe’s mum and her sister up in a huge hug. Then she turned to the boys. “And this can’t be Joe and Toby? And Damian, too! Goodness, how you’ve all grown! What handsome boys!” Joe grimaced as she hugged him. Great-aunt Marion smelled of stinky perfume and she left a big lipstick kiss on his cheek!

  Over the next few hours the lounge gradually filled up with relatives and family friends arriving for the wedding the next day. Joe lost count of the number of people who hugged and kissed him and told him how big he was.

  It was nearly nine o’clock when Mum came over to where Joe and Toby were playing Top Trumps with Great-uncle Bob. “I hadn’t realized it was so late,” Mum said. “It’s time for bed.”

  “I’m not tired!” wailed Toby.

  “I never go to bed at the same time as Toby!” added Joe.

  Damian looked up from his games console and smirked. No one was sending him to bed!

  “Can’t I stay up a bit longer?” pleaded Joe.

  “It’s just for tonight, Joe. I need you to keep an eye on Toby for me.”

  “But, Mum!”

  “How about a game of crazy golf in the morning?” said Dad, trying to cheer Joe up. “Mrs Stanway was telling me there’s a course near the beach.”

  “Great idea!” boomed Uncle Len. “Count me and Damian in.”

  “Good plan,” said Mum. “It’ll give me a chance to get on with the girls’ hair!”

  Joe’s mum was a hairdresser and Megan had asked her to help out with the bridesmaids’ hairstyles for the wedding.

  “I bet you a pound I win the crazy golf!” Joe whispered to Damian.

  Damian’s eyes glittered. “You’re on!”

  As Joe followed his mum and Toby out of the lounge into the hall, Frankie appeared. He was wagging his tail innocently, as though the ice-cream drama had never happened.

  As Joe and Frankie walked through the hall, the clock in the dining room chimed.

  “Nine o’clock and no sign of the robbers!” Frankie reported, as though he was a soldier on guard.

  “Great,” murmured Joe.

  �
��Have you figured out what they’re after yet?” Frankie asked.

  Joe hung back as Toby and Mum headed for the stairs. Toby was telling Mum all about the haunted suit of armour.

  “Dunno!” Joe shrugged. “Money? Jewels?”

  Frankie gave a disgusted snort. “How can we stop them if we don’t know what they’re going to steal?”

  Before Joe could answer there was the sound of footsteps and Mrs Stanway appeared from the bar, carrying two cash boxes, balanced one on top of the other. Frankie’s tail began to drum on the floor and he let out a little whimper of delight at the sight of his owner.

  “Hello, young man,” she called, smiling at Joe. “Are you having a nice time?” As she spoke she stumbled slightly on a crease in the carpet and dropped one of the boxes.

  Joe rushed over to help. Then he gasped. The box had opened and spilled money out…

  “Thank you, darling,” said Mrs Stanway as Joe pushed the notes and coins back in the box. “I’ve been emptying the tills in the bar.”

  “Shall I help you carry it?” Joe asked.

  “That’s very kind,” Mrs Stanway replied with a smile.

  Frankie trotted after them.

  Inside the office, under a large, messy desk, was an old metal safe.

  “My grandfather brought it back from Chicago,” explained Mrs Stanway proudly. “They don’t make them like this any more!”

  She twiddled a small dial on the front, first one way and then the other. The door creaked open. Joe’s eyes nearly popped out. The safe was stuffed with money!

  “All ready for the bank on Monday,” explained Mrs Stanway, emptying the boxes and shoving the cash inside. She tried to close the door, but it wouldn’t shut properly. “Dash it! The door’s a bit of a disaster!” She gave it another shove and this time it closed.

  As Joe and Frankie went back into the lobby, a thought was forming in Joe’s brain.

  “I bet that’s what the thieves are after,” he murmured. “The cash out of the safe!”

  Frankie growled. “OUTRAGEOUS! How dare they!”

  “There must be thousands in there,” added Joe. “And it wouldn’t take much to get the door open!”

  “So, what’s the plan?” demanded Frankie. “How can we stop them from stealing Sylvia’s money?”

  “We’ll have to keep watch outside the office tomorrow.”

  “All day and all night!” growled Frankie. “The thieves could strike anytime!”

  Joe was just about to explain that he couldn’t keep watch ALL day – he had the wedding to attend – when a voice called down from the landing above…

  “There you are, Joe!” It was Mum and she looked cross. “One minute you were behind us, the next you’d disappeared!”

  “Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I’m afraid that’s my fault,” said Mrs Stanway, coming out of her office. “Joe was helping me carry the cash from the bar. I do hope that was all right?”

  “Oh, of course,” said Mum. “That was very kind of you, Joe.”

  “Goodnight, darling,” smiled Mrs Stanway. “See you in the morning.”

  Frankie came for Joe at first light.

  Joe was dreaming about Damian being swallowed up by a giant squid when the zombie dog dived on top of him.

  “GET UP, JOE!”

  “What? Ahhh! YUK!” Joe tried to wriggle away as a big dollop of drool dribbled out of Frankie’s mouth and on to his face.

  “Get up!” barked Frankie again, his scratchy tongue licking Joe’s hair. “It’s Saturday. The robbers could come anytime!”

  “Go away,” Joe hissed. “It’s too early!” He glanced over at Toby, who was still sleeping peacefully. Thank goodness he was a heavy sleeper!

  “GET UP!” Frankie grabbed Joe’s duvet in his teeth and hauled it off the bed. “I need you!”

  “Hey!” Joe wrestled the covers out of Frankie’s mouth, and pulled them back over his head. “Later!”

  Frankie poked his nose under the edge of the duvet. Then he scrabbled up and under the covers, grabbed Joe’s pyjama shorts with his teeth and tried to yank him out of bed.

  “Gerroff!” Joe held on to his shorts. But so did Frankie. Joe pulled and pulled and then…

  PING!

  Frankie let go and the elastic snapped back. The dog fell out of the bed and everything went quiet.

  Suspiciously quiet.

  Joe peeped out from under the duvet. Frankie was sitting in the corner of the room chewing something.

  Joe shot out of bed. “My new trainers!”

  He grabbed one out of Frankie’s mouth.

  “Urgh!” The laces were slimy and dripping with zombie drool.

  Frankie gave a growl. “Come and help me or I’ll pee in the other one!”

  Joe sighed. “OK, I’m coming!” He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, pulled on his jeans and headed for the door. He glanced back. Toby was still fast asleep and snoring.

  DONG! DONG! DONG!

  The clock in the dining room was chiming six o’clock.

  Joe put his fingers in his ears. “Does that clock ever stop chiming!”

  “That’s Sylvia’s favourite clock!” said Frankie huffily. “It’s very special. It belonged to her great-grandmother!”

  Joe rolled his eyes.

  “I always knew when it was time for tea,” added Frankie, “or for walkies, or to go to bed! I love that clock!”

  “OK, OK! I get it.” Joe yawned.

  They were crouching in the lobby behind a giant potted palm, keeping watch over Mrs Stanway’s office. So far the only person they’d seen was the milkman pulling up outside the hotel and dropping off a crate of milk.

  Joe stretched out his legs. They were stiff from sitting so long. Then his tummy rumbled. “I wonder when it’s breakfast time,” he whispered.

  “Listen,” Frankie yelped. “Someone’s coming!”

  The revolving doors were moving… Joe gulped.

  “There he is!” yelped Frankie as a tall figure emerged. Frankie leaped forward, barking and growling.

  Joe sprang out of their hiding place. He wasn’t sure what to do – block the robber’s way or shout for help! But then he looked at the thief…

  “Uncle Len?”

  “Morning, Joe, you’re up early!” Uncle Len was wearing a bright red tracksuit and his face was hot and sweaty. “I’ve just been out for a morning run. Did I tell you I’m training for a marathon?”

  Frankie’s tail drooped. “Oops.”

  “Do you want another slice of toast, Joe?” asked Dad.

  It was a couple of hours later and everyone was in the dining room eating breakfast. Joe’s family were sitting with Damian and his mum and dad. Frankie was still in the lobby keeping watch.

  DONG! The noisy clock on the dining room mantelpiece chimed.

  Uncle Len glanced up from his paper. “Nice clock!” he murmured. Then he turned to Dad. “Did I tell you I collect antiques?”

  Dad smiled politely.

  “I’ve been collecting for years. You’d be surprised at what you can pick up at car boot sales.” He tapped his nose. “You just need to know what you’re looking for. Take that clock over there; it’s an amazing piece…”

  “Mum, can you redo my nails before the wedding,” interrupted Sarah, peering at her hands. “One of them’s chipped!”

  “I’ll do them,” said Auntie Kate. “Your mum’s going to be too busy.”

  Mum nodded. “When Great-aunt Marion heard I was doing Gran’s hair, she asked me to do hers, too! And then Auntie Sheila asked. And Cath. Even Uncle Bob wondered if I could fit him in for a trim!”

  “I wish you could do something with Len’s hair!” grinned Auntie Kate. “He looks like a yeti!”

  Toby giggled.

  Uncle Len looked up crossly. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

  Just then, a waitress appeared and put down another jug of juice on the table.

  “You’ll be busy today,” said Mum to the waitress, trying to divert Len and Kate from an
argument, “with the wedding and everything…”

  “Oh, it won’t be too bad,” said the waitress. “Mrs Stanway hires lots of extra staff to cover weddings, so there’ll be plenty of help.”

  She smiled and moved on to the next table.

  “Is Uncle Charlie coming to the wedding?” asked Auntie Kate.

  Joe looked up. It was Uncle Charlie who had given him the magical Egyptian amulet that had brought all the undead pets to his door.

  “Megan invited him,” said Mum. “But she didn’t get a reply. He’s probably up a mountain somewhere. I haven’t heard from him for months.”

  Joe hadn’t either. When the zombie creatures had first begun to arrive, Joe had tried to get in touch with his uncle to tell him what was happening. But he’d only received one postcard. That wasn’t unusual. Uncle Charlie was an explorer and he was usually out of contact for months at a time.

  Damian burped and pushed his plate away. “Ready to lose at crazy golf?”

  As they left the hotel to play crazy golf, Joe spotted Frankie asleep in the hallway. He tiptoed past. Hopefully he’d be back before Frankie realized he’d gone!

  The Jolly Roger Adventure Golf course was only a few minutes’ walk from the hotel. There was a huge plastic pirate outside and all the obstacles were pirate-themed – wooden barrels, treasure chests, cannon and sea monsters…

  “Good shot!” called Uncle Len, as Damian’s ball whizzed up a ramp and into a skull’s eye socket, before dropping out of the other side and landing with a THUD on the grass below. Joe had matched Damian shot for shot on the first five holes. But the sixth one looked trickier…

  “Give it a good whack!” boomed Uncle Len, as Toby lined up to take his turn. “You’ll need plenty of power to get up that ramp.”

  Toby blasted the ball but it zoomed left, missing the ramp completely and landing in the bushes.

  “Maybe you should take it again,” smiled Dad as Toby went searching for it.