Baby, Let It Snow: I'll Be Home for ChristmasSecond Chance Christmas

by Beverly Jenkins

  “Get away from me,” she mumbled, but there was no heart in it and he knew it, which is why he completely ignored the statement.

  “I will admit my reasons for coming back here were slightly skewed and I—”

  “Slightly skewed?”

  “And I apologize for that. I apparently have been carrying around some baggage regarding your father, things that I should’ve let go of long ago. It was wrong. I won’t even try to deny that.”

  He was leaning so close that each word he spoke released a small puff of air against her cheek, and Diana was struggling not to think about the fact that if she turned her head just slightly their lips would touch.

  “But the rest of what you said is not true.”

  She swallowed hard, and tried to force herself to move. To step out of the cage of his body, away from the desk and away from the man she now knew she would probably always love no matter how much of a jerk he was. But try as she might, she simply could not make her body respond. It was like trying to force yourself out of a warm bed on one of the coldest mornings of the winter. The motivation to get up had to be greater than the one to stay in bed, and as far as motivations go…it was a Saturday morning and she had nowhere to go.

  “Diana, coming back here…” He stood straight up and opened his arms in a gesture of surrender. “It’s not what I expected. I let my animosity cloud my memories.”

  She was looking directly at his chest, and even fully clothed it was not hard to imagine the muscled pecs beneath the button-up shirt. She closed her eyes, trying desperately to erase the image. What is wrong with me? He’s evil. Evil. “I had forgotten so much about this place, so many of the good, happy times I had here…. I had forgotten you. And how much you meant to me.” Using his index finger he lifted her chin until they were eye to eye. “How much you still mean to me. I love you, Diana Rogers. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry me, Diana.”

  Her eyes widened in shock. “What?”

  “You heard me. I want to marry you, I want you to be my wife. I’ve always wanted you to be my wife, I’ve just let too many years and too many excuses get in the way. Ten years ago, I let the best thing in my life get away because I was too young and stupid to stand my ground. I don’t plan on letting you get away again.”

  Diana’s mind was spinning in confusion. Her heart and brain were openly warring. The heart wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around his neck and vow to love him now and forever, but the brain—practical thing that it was, was reminding her of the piece of paper she was still holding. The piece of paper that had the potential to undo everything.

  She lifted the piece of paper. “And what about your plan to absorb La Bohemia into your hotel chain?”

  He shoved his hands down into his pants pockets and Diana instantly had her answer. It was a tell from their childhood. Even as a little boy Robert was stubborn, and for anyone who knew him, hands-in-pockets was as good as heels-dug-in. His mind was made up, and only an act of God could change it at this point.

  “It’s a solid plan. It would be good for the chain and good for La Bohemia.”

  “Good? In what way?” Diana spat. “In what way would it be good for La Bohemia?”

  “Well, in a way it would be good for us.”

  “I don’t understand. Robert…” He stepped back and the small gesture gave her room to think, room to breathe. “Just yesterday I thought the man of my dreams had magically returned to me. After all these years, I honestly believed that maybe you thought we’d made a mistake by breaking up and had now returned to right the wrong, as it were. That was yesterday.”

  She walked across the room to the window and leaned against the frame. “A lot can happen in one day.” She stared out for a moment attempting to gather her thoughts, painful as they were, and Robert seemed content to wait for her to continue.

  “Then this morning, I find out that not only was I not your reason for coming back, you had another more pragmatic reason, shall we say, and that what has happened between us, this renewing of our relationship was just some kind of afterthought.”

  “It’s not quite like that.”

  She turned to face him, struggling to continue. Because knowing something in your mind was one thing, hearing it said out loud was another altogether. And Diana realized she needed to say it as much as he needed to hear it because, apparently, they were both avoiding the obvious truth. “And now you tell me that not only is our relationship an afterthought, you will follow through on your original objective for coming here, which was to take over my family legacy because, well…that’s just good business.”

  “You make it sound so cold-blooded.”

  “That’s because it is cold-blooded!”

  He gestured toward the desk behind him. “Didn’t you hear what I just said a minute ago? I love you, I want to marry you.”

  Diana gave him a confused look. It was like he hadn’t heard a word she’d just said. Did he really think that statement was enough to overcome everything standing between them?

  She glanced at the clock on the wall and realized she had only been out of bed a little over an hour and was completely worn out. It was all too much. Burying her mother, struggling to keep the winery in business, dealing with the return of Robert, the impending departure of Shawn as he was going off to fight in a war and now this…finding out the greatest love affair of her life was all just an illusion.

  All she wanted to do at that moment was go back upstairs, crawl into her bed, pull the covers over her head and stay there for the next month, at least. “You want to marry me?”

  “Yes!” He smiled his beautiful smile, a smile that said finally, you get it!

  Diana shook her head in final defeat. “So what?”

  The disbelief on his face would’ve been comical if she had not been so heartbroken at that moment.

  “So what?” He echoed in obvious confusion. “I just pour out my heart to you and you say so what?”

  Diana pushed away from the window and started walking toward the door. “Still lying, I see. You didn’t just pour out your heart, Robert. You simply told me your plans for me.”

  She unlocked the door and turned to face him. “That piece of paper.” She gestured to the fax on the desk. “What’s on that paper, that’s what’s in your heart. That’s what’s important to you, and nothing you’ve said here including that so-called proposal changes the fact that what is in your heart goes against anything we could be together.”

  She chuckled and shook her head. “The saddest part is that the only reason I now know this much about what is in your heart is because I picked up a fax—not because some overwhelming desire forced you to confess. It was just a mistake, an accident.”

  “Diana, you are reading too much into one document.” He picked up the paper and tore it in half. “There. See? It means nothing.”

  She stared into his eyes for a long moment. “Sell me back your half of La Bohemia.”

  “What? Why?”

  “So, I can truly know once and for all, what is in your heart.”

  “You’re being ridiculous.”

  “Am I? So, what do you say?”

  “No. There is no reason to.” But the fact that he could not look her in the eyes even as he said the words spoke to her in a way his words never could.

  “That’s what I thought.” She cracked the door. “You know, Robert, I do love you, and I think on some level you might even love me. But that love is not your deepest passion, or your greatest desire. That emotion is reserved for this place.” She gestured to the room at large. “And your hatred for my father.”

  His eyes narrowed on her face. “No offense, my love, but you don’t know everything.”

  “Maybe not. I admit I’m discovering that I know very little about what you really want, what you really care about. As you put it, what’s in your heart. But I do know whatever it is, it’s not me.” She turned and walked out the door, closing it softly behind her.

  Ch
apter 10

  Later that day as Robert sat in the window seat in his room watching the elegant snow flakes fall, despite the calm scene, his mind was racing in a thousand different directions.

  A choice had to be made, he knew that. He’d known it from the moment he realized he was still in love with Diana. Truth be told, on some unconscious level he probably knew it the moment he rolled up the driveway to La Bohemia.

  What had seemed so important just a few weeks ago, what had driven him for years, was now irrelevant in the face of possibly losing the woman he loved.

  He glanced back at the large bedroom, decorated lovingly in a country style. Ms. Ella had decorated the room, just as she’d personally decorated each room in the inn. Just like Ms. Ella, each element of the room was warm and welcoming, everything from the fluffy comforter to the low crackle of wood burning in the fireplace.

  How had he forgotten how much he loved this place? The best memories of his childhood were in this place and it was due in large part to the Rogers family. Primarily, Ms. Ella.

  Robert laid his head back against the windowpane, thinking of the woman who’d tried to mother him, a shy little boy who’d never known a mother’s love. Despite his initial lack of response, she had not stopped trying. She’d always included him in the things she planned for her own children, and in doing so, healed some of the scars left by a lifetime of no attention. If it wasn’t for Ms. Ella, if it wasn’t for whatever twist of fate that had brought him and his father to La Bohemia, Robert knew he probably would’ve become a much different man. And somehow in his anger, he’d let what had happened in those last days obscure everything that had come before.

  He climbed down from the window seat and crossed to the small desk sitting in the corner. He picked up the contract lying on the desk and quickly flipped through it; at the bottom was Shawn’s signature, his own and his assistant as witness. It had seemed so easy, so simple.

  Diana was wrong; getting revenge was not his greatest passion. She was. As he ripped the paper in half and tossed it into the fire, he finally accepted that he’d been lying to himself all along about what was truly in his heart. He hadn’t come back for revenge, he’d come back for Diana.

  An hour later Robert knocked on Shawn’s door.

  Shawn opened it with a toothbrush in his mouth and shaving cream on his chin.

  Robert frowned. “It’s after one in the afternoon and you’re just waking up?”

  Shawn gestured him in, and returned to the bathroom. A few seconds later he came out again, wiping his face with a damp cloth. “Well, I’m down to three weeks before I leave for basic training, I figure I better get in as much fun as I can to last those eight weeks.”

  Robert just shook his head. “Have you seen your sister?”

  Shawn shrugged. “No, I just got back. I had to spend the night in the city because of the snow.”

  Robert tried to ignore the twinge of anxiety creeping up his spine. He checked with Oscar and the guys in the Winery. No one had seen Diana in several hours. Her car was in the driveway, but she was nowhere to be found.

  At first, Robert thought she was just went off to be by herself and maybe cool down from their argument this morning, but he’d checked every possible place she could’ve gone to.

  “Why? What’s wrong?” Shawn had watched the emotions play across Robert’s face.

  Robert tried to downplay his concern. “Probably nothing. Okay, if you see her, let her know I’m looking for her.”

  “Is her car still in the lot?”

  Robert nodded, and Shawn relaxed a little. “Well, then she has to be here somewhere. As long as she is not out on the road, that snow is a lot more treacherous than it looks. It took me over an hour to get back here, and it’s supposed to get worse as the day goes on.”

  “Yeah, I know. Alright, just let me know if you find her before I do.” Robert left the room and went downstairs to see if she’d come out of whatever hiding place she’d found. But, after a quick look around he knew she was nowhere to be found.

  He went to the kitchen window and looked out again. His eyes scanned the snow-covered vines as a growing sense of dread was building in his chest. He’d looked everywhere for her, everywhere except one place….

  A few minutes later, Shawn came up beside him at the window. “Still, no sign of her?”

  Robert shook his head, his eyes continued to scan the area as snow continued to blanket the field. “I think I know where she is.”

  Shawn asked, “Where?”

  “The old shed at the back of the property.”

  “What?” Shawn frowned in confusion. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why would she go all the way out there in a snowstorm?”

  “I don’t know.” Robert never took his eyes off the view out the window. “I just have a feeling that’s where she went.” He turned to Shawn. “I’m going to go look for her, you stay here in case I’m wrong and she comes back.”

  “Man, I’m telling you it makes no sense. Going out there in this snow is crazy. What if you can’t find your way back?”

  “Don’t worry, I will.” As he headed back up the stairs to dress for the cold, wet snow he knew there was truth in those words. A soul would always find its way home.

  Just in case he was wrong about his hunch, Robert had stopped by the winery just long enough to explain the situation to Oscar and have his men form a search party to look for other possible areas where Diana might be able to wait out the storm, and then he’d set off to the back field.

  He’d been trekking through the snow for over ten minutes and the sleet was pelting against his frozen skin, but Robert kept pushing forward. Through the white curtain of snow and ice, he could barely see six inches in front of his face, but having grown up on the land he had a pretty good feel for direction.

  The blowing wind was so cold, he could no longer feel his toes but he kept lifting his numb leg and putting them one in front of the other because at this point stopping was no longer an option. Before long he came upon a patch of trees, and there, standing in the middle, even covered in snow, Robert recognized the white birch and felt reassured. He was close. He knew exactly where he was and he was only a few yards east of where he wanted to be.

  Out of habit more than thought, as he passed by the white birch he opened his palm and let his fingers find the inscription carved in the side of the tree. It was an unconscious gesture and he found strength in it as he pushed forward.

  In a way, he realized that inscription was symbolic of everything that existed between him and Diana. Despite the ravages of time and their neglect, it had remained. There always, changing with the growth of life but still it remained just as their love had. And just like the tree carving, all they had to do was find it again to be reminded of what they had once meant to each other.

  With his head tucked he continued to plow through the snow, propelled by sure strength of will alone. He had to find her, he had to get her to safety and then he had to tell her how much he loved her. How impossible would it be to try to go on without her now? He had to tell her so much, all the things he’d discovered when faced with the sudden terrifying fear of never seeing her again.

  Like the fact that he’d spent most of his adult years like a fool, chasing some ridiculous notion of justice, wanting revenge on a ghost when all the while the only thing that really mattered had almost slipped through his fingers.

  At the end of the brush, Robert paused. Resting momentarily against a tree, he lifted his head just long enough to see the clearing opening in front of him. Just on the other side of the clearing was the shed. Even through the torrent of snow he could see the faint outline in the distance. On a warm, summer day the distance before him would take no more than five minutes, but today Robert knew that five-minute hike would seem like a lifetime. The clearing was just that. A wide open field of nothing, which meant he would not even have the protection of the trees as he made his way.

  But, there was no other way. As soon as he move
d away from the forestry a huge gust of wind whipped through the opening and Robert could feel the chilled wind all the way to his bones. Still, he kept his head tucked and continued moving toward the shed.

  His mind was racing with images, visions of the eight-year-old brat that insisted on trailing behind him wherever he went, that day in the winery when he was fourteen, and realizing the brat was blossoming into a beauty. When he was sixteen, the first time she gave him the look. That sweet, coy smile a girl gives a boy to let him know she likes him. The weeks after that first acknowledgment of their budding feelings had been filled with the secret looks and unspoken words. And now looking back, Robert realized those years had been some of the best times of his life. His first love. Oh, all the long hours he’d spent in the mirror practicing the right words to say to her, trying to look cooler than he was, not to mention all the wet dreams of a frustrated sixteen-year-old boy. Now…he only hoped he could find her before it was too late to fulfill all the dreams she had inspired.

  Chapter 11

  By the time he reached the other side of the clearing he was fighting the drugged feeling of lethargy; his whole body ached with exhaustion but he continued toward the shed. It was only a few more feet and he could see the structure growing closer and closer with each step until finally he was there.

  He went to open the cabin door when it occurred to him for the first time that he could be wrong. What if she wasn’t there? What if she hadn’t made it this far? What if she’d succumbed to the storm? He’d started out with such certainty and determination to reach the cabin that no possibility had occurred to him until just now.