Desire

by Jezebel Jorge

  “That’s what Paul was supposed to do.”

  “That man is a cold hearted evil son of a bitch.” She shuddered and held onto Billy like she expected Paul to come walking through the door any minute now. “Why, if I saw him, I think I’d be tempted to slap the taste right out of his mouth.”

  Billy didn’t have the heart to defend his so-called daddy.

  Chapter 35

  “Something smells yummy.”

  There was nothing that Lizzie liked better than coming home from work to find Elena busy cooking up a feast in the kitchen of their new house.

  Elena greeted Lizzie with a big smile and rib crushing hug. “We’re celebrating. I got promoted to kitchen supervisor on the morning shift.”

  “I always said you make the best breakfasts in town.”

  “I’m so glad you talked me into moving down here. Who wants ice cream and apple cobbler straight out of the oven?”

  “I do.” Lizzie opened the cabinet to get some bowls and saw Billy’s mugs sitting on the top shelf.

  “You want to come watch the fireworks with us tonight?”

  Without thinking about it, Lizzie picked one of the mugs, running her hand over the rim remembering how Billy looked first thing in the morning trying to choke down her feeble attempts at coffee making.

  “Lizzie, are you in there?” Elena playfully smacked the back of her head.

  “Huh?”

  “What’s with you and that mug?”

  “These are Billy’s,” she admitted, still clutching the mug to her chest.

  “I didn’t know. I’ll pack them back up for Vlad to take to Billy when he comes down.”

  Elena tried to take the mug out of Lizzie’s hand, but she wouldn’t let go.

  “That settles it. You’re going to the lake to watch the fireworks with me and Allen tonight.”

  “No, I’m going to bed early so I can go running with Daddy in the morning.”

  “It’s the Fourth of July. It won’t kill you to skip a morning of torture with Daddy Dearest.”

  “I like running with Daddy.”

  “No you don’t. You’re just using that as an excuse to go to bed early.”

  The truth was a little of both. Ever since he had gotten back from Puerto Rico, her daddy has been very easy to get along with. Lizzie was getting her running legs back, along with the quality time she didn’t know she had missed until it was gone. Running was easy. They didn’t have to talk, just race along letting the endorphins kick in.

  Maybe if she went to bed early it wouldn’t be so bad having to deal with the fact that everyone had someone but her. Daddy and Carol Ann were so happy, it was sickening sweet. Her little brother and Rita were grooving right along.

  Martha had practically adopted Rita after she tackled a week’s worth of contracts in about half a day’s work. Within a week, Martha had both Rita and Dixie moved into her spare bedroom.

  And truth be told, Lizzie was jealous of all the time Elena was spending with this Allan guy. She spent every weekend over at his house and when she wasn’t there, he was here letting her cook for him. He was a nice enough, but Lizzie really missed having her best friend all to herself.

  “You sure you don’t want to come?” Elena asked almost already out the door.

  “No, I’m good.”

  She stuck her head back inside, “I almost forgot. A package came for you today. I put it in the living room.”

  Lizzie uncorked a new bottle of Chianti and poured a glass before going to get the package. It had a New Orleans postmark but no return address. Must be from Dinera and William. She carried the box back to the kitchen to get a knife to cut through a heavy layer of tape.

  It was a bluish purple candle wrapped in lush purple sateen. She searched the box for a card, but all she found was a note that read – Light this candle when you’re down and blue so that your true love will return to you.

  Yep, had to be from Dinera, considering she was the only self-professed witch that Lizzie knew. How she wished she could believe in that hocus pocus magick. If only it was that easy, just burn a candle and bring him back.

  “Oh, Boo you startled me.”

  The cat jumped onto the table causing the wine glass to topple over, drenching the note paper that Elena hadn’t put up in her haste to get away from Lizzie and off to that stupid Allan.

  While holding the soggy paper over the sink, she just happened to see Billy’s name in the letter from Vlad. It wasn’t like she had planned to snoop and Elena did leave the letter right there on the kitchen table. Curiosity got the better of her and Lizzie wound up reading the last few letters tucked inside Elena’s address book.

  While devouring the whole pie and half a container of ice cream, she learned Billy was staying with Vlad in an apartment over a bar in downtown Minneapolis. Most importantly, she saw in Vlad’s own words that Billy still missed her and was so torn up that he wasn’t seeing any other girls.

  Why hadn’t Elena shared this information with her and what else was she keeping secret? Not wanting to believe her daddy’s accusations, she hadn’t said a word to Elena about their alleged affair. It was too hard to consider her best friend fooling around with her daddy. She just couldn’t deal with that on top of everything else that kept getting dumped on her.

  She washed down a couple of sleeping pills with the last of the wine and went upstairs to draw a bath. Deciding she had nothing to lose, Lizzie lit the candle and placed it on the side of the tub. The warm water, her full belly, and the pills did the trick. Soon she was comfortably numb enough to drift off to sleep.

  The first boom of fireworks woke her, shivering in the tepid water. She grabbed a robe and quickly blew out the candle before going to her bedroom window. The sky was aglow with red, white and blue sparkles. Fireworks were no fun without someone to watch them with, so she pulled the curtain and crawled under the covers, pressing a pillow over her ears to try to drown out the noise.

  There she was wide awake and completely alone, on a night when everyone else in Charlotte must be kissing someone special under the rocket’s red glare. Her heart felt like a bomb bursting in air. Stupid Star Spangled Banner lyrics stuck in her brain, right along with thoughts of Billy. Was he wrestling tonight? Was he just as alone as she was?

  Not able to stand it any longer, Lizzie slipped into the kimono that Billy had given her and went downstairs to found Elena’s address book. She spent several minutes staring at the number printed beside Vlad’s name until she finally worked up the courage to actually slip her finger in the dial.

  Just as she about to lose her nerve a raspy voice said, “Kat here. What can I do for ya?”

  “May I please speak with Billy Dalton?”

  “He ain’t back from 'rassling yet. You want me to give him a message when he gets in?”

  “Yes, this is Lizzie, can you please have him call me?”

  “Alrighty hon,” she said after reading back her information, “I got your name and number all wrote down and I’ll have one of my girls run up and stick a note on his door.”

  The victory lap around the kitchen didn’t do anything for her jitters. She needed to go for a run, but their only phone hung on wall between the kitchen and living room. The fear of missing his call had her planted on the sofa with a book in hand and Boo curled up by her feet.

  About an hour later, the shrill ringer caused her to drop the book. Not caring about losing her place, she raced to the phone.

  “Billy!” She said without bothering with any hellos.

  “Is this Lizzie?” There was a woman’s voice on the other end of the line.

  “Yes, who is this?”

  “This is Amy, Billy’s girlfriend. Why are you leaving messages for my fiancé?”

  “Your what?” Lizzie gripped the phone so hard her hand went numb.

  “Billy and I are planning on getting married next month and I don’t appreciate his groupies calling him at home.”

  “Groupie? How dare you! I happen to be Pau
l Bryson’s daughter.”

  “The poor girl he dumped back in the Carolinas?” The woman actually laughed. “Take a hint, he doesn’t want you anymore. We’re very happy together.”

  Burned again.

  Lizzie left the receiver dangling off the wall. Now she could go for that run.

  She sprinted until her side stitched with every gasping breath. Then she walked it off and ran some more. Her legs were aching by the time she raced the sunrise back to her kitchen.

  Lizzie opened the door to be hit with the stomach churning aroma of sizzling bacon.

  “You’re up earlier than usual.” Elena’s silly all in love, not a care in the world grin didn’t help matters any.

  “I never went to bed.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Why didn’t you bother to mention you slept with my daddy?”

  “What?” Elena turned with her spatula in mid-air.

  “You heard me.”

  “I never slept with Paul.”

  Lizzie sat down at the table, sloshing her orange juice in anger. “That’s not what he said.”

  “What’s he working you about this time?” Elena scooped the eggs out of the pan and shoved a plate under Lizzie’s nose before sitting to face her, arms folded defiantly across her chest.

  “Every Wednesday afternoon. Just like clockwork. Does that ring any bells?”

  “That happened years ago and I only went to see him to try to help Vlad get into the business.”

  “So you slept with my daddy to get your brother a job?”

  Elena took her time chewing down a slab of bacon before deciding to speak. “I never slept with Paul. Stop making it out to be something it wasn’t.”

  “Exactly what was it, Elena?”

  “I didn’t want to tell you because it’s something I’m ashamed of and he is your daddy after all.”

  “I’ve never known any woman to be ashamed of throwing themselves at my daddy. It’s not like he’s ugly or anything.”

  “Okay Lizzie.” She slammed her fork down on the table. “Basically he agreed to help Vlad if I did something for him.”

  “And that would be?”

  “It’s not something I’m comfortable talking about,” Elena snapped. “Go ask Paul if you really have to know every single detail. I’m sure his version is a lot more exciting than what really happened.”

  “Are you calling my daddy a liar?”

  “Enjoy your breakfast.” Elena got up from the table. “I don’t know what’s really bugging you, but I’m not going to let you pick a fight with me.”

  “It’s the same thing as always,” Lizzie admitted, fighting back the tears. “It’s Billy… I tried to call him last night and got his fiancée.”

  That got Elena to turn around. “Lizzie, I’m sorry. Why did you even try to call him?”

  “I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.”

  Chapter 36

  “Stupid horse shit.”

  “I thought you were supposed to be some kind of cowboy.” Vlad laughed at Billy sitting there wiping the crap off his boots.

  "Who ever heard of running a show in a damn rodeo arena? On the 4th of July to boot."

  If sharing a dressing room with a bunch of horses wasn’t bad enough, while they were brawling outside the ring Billy hit a pile of manure boot first and landed flat on his butt. Good thing most of the crowd had downed enough cheap beer to find his blown spot amusing. If he had been working anyone but Vlad, he would have done an impromptu heel turn in order to pound out some of his frustration.

  Billy rubbed the last of the shit off his boots and tossed the towel into a trash bin. “You sure you don’t mind me not helping you get the ring down?”

  “I’ve got it covered. Franny’s brothers can help me,” Vlad said. “You got a hot date?”

  “Just the opposite. I’m hoping that if I sneak in before Amy gets off work I’ll be able to have a night by myself.”

  “Sounds like you’ve done got you a new roommate since I went and moved in with Franny.”

  “It sure wasn’t planned,” Billy admitted. “She got all torn up about her in-laws taking the kids, crying on me about not wanting to go back to that empty apartment and all. I couldn’t just ask her to leave, so until she works something out with them, I guess I’m stuck with her.”

  “Them boys are probably better off with their grandparents, at least until Amy gets her head on straight,” Vlad said, shaking his head in commiseration. “I ain’t one to gossip, but all the girls are talking about how messed up she is on the pills and pot.”

  “I’ve done told her not to smoke that stuff around me. I don’t get the appeal of weed. The smell alone about makes me sick.”

  “Just makes me want to pig out and crash, but I reckon Amy does it to take the edge off while she’s working. It’s got to be hard dealing with the crowd that frequents that joint.”

  “She missed going to class with me Thursday. Skipped out on the math test.”

  “You sure are taking that schooling seriously.”

  “Yep, who knows.” Billy chuckled. “I might decide to go on and get me a college degree one of these days.”

  Vlad laughed along with him. “I’m glad Paul Bryson talked me into finishing high school, even if I’ve probably already forgotten most everything I learned along the way.”

  Nice to know Billy’s so-called father had some good in him.

  ***

  Billy opened the door to found Amy all sprawled out naked on a huge bed that hadn’t been there when he’d left that afternoon.

  “What the hell?”

  She kept on working her hand between her legs, pleasuring herself like he wasn’t standing there wondering what she had done with the rest of his furniture.

  “Amy?”

  He turned off the radio and sat down beside her, waiting for some kind of response.

  “Amy?”

  Nothing, nothing at all. Her eyes were so dilated he couldn’t even see her pupils. It was like she was in her own little world. A world that didn’t include him. Or anyone else for that matter.

  Billy went on downstairs to wash up and when he got back, she was still just lying there. Her legs spread wide open and her hand pumping away. It wasn’t the least bit erotic. In fact it was downright scary. Her face was so void of emotion that it didn’t even look like she could feel what she was doing to herself.

  “Amy?”

  The lights were on but no one was home.

  When he reached to nudge her over, he saw his previously unopened pint of Jack sitting empty on the floor. Her body was rigid and her skin was as cold as ice. Billy leaned over her to sniff for pot but all he smelled was the overpowering floral scent of her cheap perfume. He tried to cover her with a blanket and she let out a blood curling scream and yanked it off like the material had been on fire. There was no telling what she had taken on top of the liquor.

  He had to be up early the next morning for TV so he just got under the covers way over on the other side of that huge bed and left her along. The thing was big enough to where he didn’t have to worry about accidently touching her. It wasn’t like she wanted anyone else’s hands anywhere close to her. At least they agreed on that one thing. She had finally passed out when he sneaked out the next morning.

  After the taping, Billy found this cute little blond waiting for him out by his car. He offered to buy her some lunch and she went on to make the next two towns with him. Just what he needed, an easy on the eyes nice normal piece of ass, with her own apartment in a better part of town. Jenny became his favorite ring rat the minute she told him her bed was his any time he was in town.

  ***

  Here it was September already and his heart was still back in Charlotte. He should have been studying up for his final test for the GED instead of mooning over the woman he would never be able to have.

  Life around Amy was a constant roller coaster ride. Some days she’s okay. Other times she was so doped up that it was like deali
ng with a ghost of the girl he’d first met. Then there were the really bad days when she cried and screamed and pretty much ran him out of his own room.

  Those were the times he was thankful to take off to the safe haven of Jenny’s place. She kept him fucked and well fed, never once pressuring him for anything more than he was able to give. She was pretty and sweet and everything a man could want in a woman. The only thing was - she wasn’t Lizzie.

  His nerves were shot the morning he went to the school to take the last test. Looking across the aisle at Amy didn’t help matters any. She had chewed her pencil down to the nub and her leg was swinging a mile a minute. There was no telling what she was doped up on. The girl had missed about as many of the classes as she had attended, so there couldn’t be much hope of her getting a passing grade.

  The test wasn't nearly as bad as he'd expected. Billy was feeling fairly confident by the time the teacher called for them to turn in their papers.

  “You want to go get something to eat?” Amy asked as soon as they were out the door.

  “I’d better get on the road to make tonight’s town.”

  “You coming home tonight?”

  “Can’t say as I know yet.” Billy made a beeline for his car, hoping she wasn’t going to need a ride. “Don’t bother waiting up on me.”

  “You have another girlfriend, don’t you?”

  “The squared circle is my mistress.”

  “You’re screwing every girl willing to put out for you,”

  “I don’t see as that is any of your business.” He tried to be civil, despite wanting to slap her out of the way. “It ain’t like we’re an item or anything.”

  Something was going to have to give. He had never felt that kind of hostility towards any woman before.

  When she just stood there, he added, “I think you ought to see about getting your own place while I’m doing that Canadian loop next week. When I get back, I’ll be glad to help you move.”

  “That won’t be necessary.”