Judy Moody Goes to College
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“Does she know Stink lives here, too?”
“And that’s not even the best news,” said Mom. “When Chloe called today —”
“Chloe called? You talked to Chloe? When? Where was I?”
“You were at school —” said Mom.
“No fair.” Judy couldn’t help it that her cell phone was made of candy.
“Let Mom finish,” said Dad.
“Anyway, remember a painting you made when you went to college for a day with Chloe?”
“Yes! Portrait of a Band-Aid-Not-Soup-Can without Shadows, Deluxe Edition.”
“What’s that?” Stink asked.
“It’s a pop-art painting like that guy who paints soup cans, Andy Warthog.”
Stink snorted like a warthog.
“Warhol,” said Dad. “Andy Warhol.”
“Is anybody going to let me finish?” Mom asked.
“Peace!” said Judy, holding up two fingers.
“As I was saying, I guess you left it there to dry, and the professor thought the painting was made by one of his college students. He chose your painting to hang in an art show at the college. They have a small gallery in the college library there.”
She, Judy Moody, could not believe her ears. “Painting? College? Art show? Me?” she asked.
Dad laughed. “We thought you’d be pleased.”
Pleased? Pleased was only a teeny-tiny fraction of what she felt. This was uber-exciting. This was ridonkulus-rare. She, Judy Moody Warthog, aka Just Jude, was going to be in an art show at college! For serious!
“I have to call Chloe,” Judy said.
“On your candy cell phone?” Stink asked.
“Stink. I take it back. You’re not just a geck. You’re a geck squared. Geck to the power of three.”
“Gecko-gecko, click-click, cheep-cheep-cheep,” sang Stink, bobbing his head and making gecko noises all around the kitchen.
What a warthog.
The next morning at school, Judy flip-flopped down the hall to Room 3T.
“Professor Todd,” Judy asked, “did you tell Kate and Richard that I don’t need a tutor anymore? Because I really learned a lot in college, and I’d like to keep going. And besides, my painting is in an art show there, and I’d really like to see —”
“You know, Judy, you’re not the only one who wants to go to college,” said Mr. Todd.
“What do you mean? Didn’t you already go to college, like a long time ago, I mean, to be a teacher and everything?”
“Not me — the class. Class 3T is going to college.”
“You mean the whole class needs a tutor? But I thought everybody just flunked the test on purpose.”
“Not for tutoring,” said Mr. Todd. “We’re going on a field trip.”
“To college?”
“To college,” said Mr. Todd.
“And Chloe will be there?”
“Chloe will be there. We’ll be spending a whole morning in the Math Lab.”
“And we can go see my painting?”
“We can go see your painting. Won’t that be exciting?”
“You don’t know the half of it! The three-quarters of it. The nine-tenths of it. Thank you, Mr. Todd, thank you!”
She, Judy Moody, had a brand new attitude. It was grat-i-tude.
One whole week had to go by before Judy Moody got to go to college with her class. The week took about a year. At last it was time.
When Class 3T got to college, their first stop was the Math Lab. Judy took everyone over to Investigation Station and showed them how to build with sponge blocks and make graphs and play Tic-Tac-Cookie. They even got a taste of Chloe’s special pizza fractions (minus the pizza tables, which Judy got to collect).
Then Chloe passed out poster boards. Everyone got to spread out all over the floor and make their very own board games. Judy Moody drew different tents on her game board and a twisty-turny path that connected them.
Chloe peeked over her shoulder. “What are these?” she asked.
“See, you start out in the Attitude Tent,” said Judy. “The object of the game is to try not to land in the Bad-i-tude Tent. To win, you have to get all the way to the Glad-i-tude Tent.”
Next she made a spinner. Then she made up Attitude Cards.
“See, bad stuff can happen to you along the way,” said Judy. “But it all depends on your attitude. If you pick a bad Attitude Card, you have to go to the Bad-i-tude Tent. If you pick a good Attitude Card, you get to skip way ahead. Three good Attitude Cards, and you win the Peace Prize.”
“Rad!” said Chloe.
“See?” said Judy. “In the Judy Moody game of life, it’s all about attitude.”
“Time for lunch!” Chloe called. Chloe and Mr. Todd carried big boxes over to the picnic tables by the duck pond. Class 3T counted twelve shiny green-headed ducks, twenty-seven Canada geese, three regular honkers, and eleven turtles.
“We could make a graph!” said Judy.
“Let’s eat first,” said Mr. Todd. Chloe passed out box lunches. Inside each box was . . . a veggie burger. Soon, Class 3T was yoga-quiet as they vegged out on veggie burgers and juice-box smoothies. And the ducks vegged out on all the bread crumbs they dropped.
“Yum! Bet you didn’t know that health food actually tastes good,” said Judy.
“And for dessert,” said Chloe, “everybody gets a cup of Screamin’ Mimi’s Rain Forest Mist ice cream.”
“Blue ice cream!”
“YAY!”
“It’s my favorite!”
“Is it made of vegetables, too?”
When everybody was done licking the last drops of ice cream, Frank asked Chloe, “Do you have recess at college?”
“Sure,” said Chloe. “At college, you can make your own recess, anytime you want. Just about.”
“Whoa,” said Judy and Rocky and Frank.
Across the field, Judy saw two college kids walking toward them. They were carrying Frisbees and Hula-hoops and . . . drums!
“Hey,” said Judy, pointing, “it’s Bethany Wigmore and Paul the drummer guy.”
Class 3T had the best recess ever — recess squared, college style. When they were done Hula-hooping and drumming and chasing after Frisbees, it was time to go see the art show.
Judy Moody and Class 3T walked across the Quad, around Coffee Catz, and past the art building to the library. Quietly, they filed up the stairs to the second-floor art gallery.
Mom was there, and Dad, and Stink with a camera!
“What are you guys doing here?” Judy whispered.
“We didn’t want to miss your big show,” said Dad.
“And I got out of learning about commas!” said Stink.
Judy stepped inside the quiet room, where paintings lined the white walls. There were still lifes of fruit and landscapes of trees. There were paintings of blobs and cut-paper collages of cats.
Then she saw it. Portrait of a Band-Aid-Not-Soup-Can without Shadows, Deluxe Edition.
“Guess which one’s mine,” said Judy.
“The Band-Aids!” Stink shouted, running up to the painting.
“It certainly is colorful,” said Dad.
“Creative,” said Mom.
“Very college,” said Mr. Todd, winking.
“Look!” said Stink. “You got a ribbon.”
“Me? Best in Show?” Judy asked.
Stink peered closer at the ribbon. “Never mind,” he said, blocking it with his big head so Judy couldn’t see.
“What?” Judy asked. “Let me see.”
“You don’t want to see,” said Stink. “It says you got HORRIBLE MENTION. That really stinks.”
“Horrible Mention?” She, Judy Moody, won the prize for the most horrible painting in the art show? “Why even mention it if it’s horrible?” Judy wailed.
Mr. Todd laughed. So did Mom and Dad. So did Chloe.
“Why is everybody laughing?” Judy asked. “Horrible Mention means they think my painting is horrible.”
“It’s
an Honorable Mention,” Chloe explained.
Honorable Mention sounded way better than Horrible Mention. “That’s good, right?” Judy said. Stink moved over so Judy could see.
“Wicked good,” said Chloe. “It means your painting was so rad, they thought they should honor it with a big fat ribbon.”
Sick-awesome!
“Let’s stand next to your painting so we can get a picture,” said Mom. Everybody crowded around Judy, and the library lady snapped a picture on Stink’s camera.
“Let me see!” said Judy.
She peered at the image in the camera. Next to her and all around her were Kate and Richard and Stink; Rocky, Frank, Jessica Finch, and the rest of Class 3T; Professor Todd and Chloe; even peeps Bethany Wigmore and Paul the Drummer.
In the very center, right in front of her Not-Horrible-Mention painting, stood Judy herself, smiling from ear to ear.
If that picture were a painting, she, Judy Moody, would give it a name. Portrait of the Artist with the ’Rents, the Professor, the College Tutor, a Few Peeps, and the Geck, with Shadows, Deluxe Edition.
It was only a split-second, one-sixtieth-of-a-minute, a giga-flip-flop moment in Judy Moody’s own personal game of life, but it felt big. She, Judy Moody, was filled with glad-i-tude.
Rad-i-tude!
the bomb = the best
busted = did well; owned
crucial = Rare! Excellent! Awesome!
for serious = for real
for your 411 = for your information
geck = annoying person = Stink
hit me up later = call me later; see you later
let’s food = let’s eat
mad-nasty = see sick-awesome
natch = of course; naturally
NCP = nincompoop; a silly or foolish person
old skool = old-fashioned; out-of-date
owned = ruled
paper (verb) = write a report
peace out = good-bye; I’m leaving
peeps = friends
rad = radical; crucial
’rents; ’rentals = parents
ridonkulus = ridiculous
roomie = roommate
sick-awesome = more impressive than sick; more powerful than rare
so money = excellent
uber = way cool; over-the-top awesome
wearing sadface = sadly lacking; looking unhappy
wicked good = better than good