Violation

by Lolah Lace

  There was an older lady waiting for an elevator. She looked over and smiled at me. I smiled and nodded. I hoped she wasn’t a basketball fan. One of the elevator bells dinged and the elevator was empty when the doors opened. I gestured for the older woman to enter. I held my hand over the door sensor. The lady walked in first and Serena entered after.

  “Six please.”

  “I pressed the number six and then the number fifteen on the silver panel.” I watched the doors. I prayed no one I knew would enter. When the doors closed I breathed a brief sigh of relief.

  Without incident, we made it safely back to my hotel room.

  I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around Serena. I removed her coat and embraced her. I lifted her off her feet and kissed her the way I wanted to when she walked up to me minutes ago.

  “How did you get away?”

  “I told him before you guys left that I was going out of town to visit with my sister.”

  “He believed it?”

  “Well I put it in my planner about a week ago. I know he looked in my planner before.”

  “What if he calls her?”

  “My sister knows I’m supposed to be with her. But believe me, he’s not going to check. He doesn’t care. He only thinks about me when he’s bored or one of his groupies is being mean to him.”

  “You look so different.”

  “You said that already. Stop acting weird.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You don’t want to cheat on me with Amber?

  “Uh, is that a trick question?”

  “No.”

  “Well I just want all versions of Serena that are available, Blonde Amber, Slutty Suzy, Ride or Die Rashida, Pussy-Filled Patty.”

  “You are a mess.”

  “I just know what I like. I like you.”

  “I like you too.”

  “You’re just so pretty all the time.”

  She smirked. “Compared to you, not so much.”

  “What?” I felt my face involuntarily turning red.

  “So you don’t know that you’re fine as hell.”

  “I’m okay.”

  “Noah stop. You are serial killer sexy.”

  “What’s that mean? Is that good or bad?”

  Serena took my hand and pulled me into the bathroom of the hotel. We both stood in front of the walled mirror above the sink.

  “Okay look at yourself.”

  “I am.”

  “You look like what happens if Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer had a baby.”

  I chuckled. “Okay, that’s not good.”

  “Everything about you is good.”

  I spun around and grabbed her by her waist. I picked her up and placed her on the countertop.

  “You came all this way to be with me.”

  “I did.”

  “So that means you really really care about me.”

  “Maybe I really really care about your dynamic dick.” She leaned in to kiss my lips.

  “I think you missed me.”

  “I think you’re right.”

  “One day I’m going to have you all to myself.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes I promise.”

  She wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me close. She brushed her nose into my neck.

  “Ummm, you smell like a man.”

  “Sometimes I think about running away with you. Would you ever consider running away with me?”

  “I would but only if I wasn’t a mother.”

  “Yeah I saw my parents today and my mother gave me the old wife and kids speech.”

  “What did you tell her?”

  “I told her I would adopt a kid in a few years.”

  “You are not going to adopt a kid.”

  “Desperate times desperate measures.”

  “Stop with the pity party. You’re going to get everything you want.”

  “Are you going to give it to me?”

  “Me?”

  “Why not you?”

  “It’s December. We have been doing this for what, two months.”

  “I know that, but I’ve known you for eight years.” I thought about making her comfortable. “You hungry? I can order room service.”

  “Can you? I need to shower. I smell like the airplane.”

  “Okay.”

  Just like that I left her in the bathroom. I grabbed the telephone and ordered food. I wasn’t really too hungry. I ate over at my parents. I got a variety of things off the menu.”

  It only took thirty-five minutes for the food to arrive. I made sure Serena stayed in the bathroom when the waiter showed up with the food. I placed it on the table and waited for Serena. She was in a bathrobe. She took a seat across from me.

  “This is a lot of food.”

  “So what’s up? Are we going to revisit our earlier topic?”

  “Yes sexy man.”

  “I’ve known you eight years. That counts for something. I’ve only seen you naked for two months.”

  “Are you sure you haven’t seen me naked before two months ago?”

  I frowned trying to understand what she meant. “Dee has never shown me naked pictures of you.”

  She laughed out. “Deshawn doesn’t have any naked pictures of me.”

  “I saw you naked the first time when we had sex.”

  “Are you sure?” Her lips puckered.

  It took me just seconds to remember the memory I had stashed away so long ago.

  “You know something?”

  “Confession time Noah.”

  “Two years ago I saw you get out the shower.”

  “When?”

  “A barbecue at your house. I was in your bedroom. The bathroom door was open to the bedroom. I saw you come out of the shower.”

  “Yeah, you were standing by the bed.”

  “You knew I was there?” Her eyes indicated that was a yes. “Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you cover up?”

  “When was the last time a man other than Deshawn saw me naked.” I shrugged. “I didn’t see any harm in it. There’s nothing wrong with looking.”

  “But you came downstairs fully dressed and hugged me and acted like nothing happened.”

  “It’s a learned behavior. It comes from being with a liar and a cheater. You’ve seen me flip out before but most of my feelings I’ve learned to bury. What’s the point? Nothing ever changes.”

  “With me, it would be different.”

  “Would it?”

  “Yes, tell me what I have to do to prove it.”

  “You believe it and that’s proof enough for me.”

  “I want you. Am I a filler for you?”

  “Filler?”

  “Just filling your time up.”

  “No. I wouldn’t have flown here if that was the case.”

  “I want you.”

  “You have me.”

  “Don’t fuck with me. You know what I mean.”

  “Okay we can see where this goes. But after the season is over and the school year is over. Leaving Deshawn has to be planned. I can’t just go on a whim. He would act a damn fool. You know that. Do you really want me to leave him for you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Your contract is up. You’ll be an unrestricted free agent. You’ll never get re-signed if Deshawn doesn’t okay it. You know that?”

  “Yes I know.”

  “I’m not going to be the reason you get traded to some bullshit team far away. I can’t leave this state. My son is still here. Dee would never let me have full custody. He would never let me take DJ and move to a different state. He’s an asshole. Deshawn doesn’t care that he never sees his son. He is at the court, on the road or with one of his hoes. He would fight me in court and win because the judge will be a man and be a fucking basketball fan. I will lose my son if he finds out about us.”

  “Okay, I hear you. But, I need something. Some hope that one day we can go on real dates and be seen in public together.”

 
; “Yes, after you re-sign with the Cavaliers. I’m sure they will offer you a lucrative contract and after DJ graduates high school.”

  “My sports agent will negotiate next year. When does your son finish high school?”

  “A year and a half.”

  “So that’s a year and a half. Okay.”

  “Will you wait for me? Will you want me?”

  “Yes.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I hate when you say things like that. I want to be with you. If all the hugs and looks I thought I was hiding doesn’t prove it. I don’t know what will.”

  “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

  “I feel like I do.”

  “You don’t.”

  “I will wait for you. But don’t string me along. I want to have a wife.”

  “Are you proposing?”

  “I don’t know. Are you taking proposals?”

  “I could love you.”

  “That’s good to know because I already love you.” There I said it, kind of, sort of. I don’t know.

  “I love you too if you meant it, but if you didn’t, fuck you.”

  I chuckled. “Eat your food.”

  I watched her eat. I watched her chew. I tried to do it on the low but her every movement moved me. I was arrogant but there was no doubt, I would have her. I was giving my all to a married woman. I understood the risks. I didn’t care. I was a risk taker. I would have her because failure has never been an option for a man like me.

  The fact that my happiness was contingent on betraying my best friend tore me up inside. It made me question so much about myself. I love Deshawn but Serena has my heart and my love. It would hurt too much to give that up.

  CHAPTER 15

  Coming back to Chicago was just a little sweeter knowing Serena had flown to Minnesota to see me. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had a solid future with a woman. The holiday season made it difficult for us to see each other for awhile, but we texted and talked on the phone all throughout the day and night.

  Serena and Dee’s daughter would be home for the Thanksgiving holiday. I was going to have a chance to see Serena briefly. She showed up to my place after a game. This night I hoped she would stay. I liked sleeping next to her. I actually loved it. I could watch her sleep for hours.

  “Can you stay overnight?”

  “No, I need to go home.”

  “Well I guess I have to get what I can take.”

  “Noah, my son is out of school for the Thanksgiving break and Tenisha is flying in tomorrow.”

  “In the morning?”

  “Do you want me to pick her up?”

  “No I am.”

  “I’ve picked your kids up before.”

  “I know but not since we’ve been dealing. It’s just too weird and I don’t want to do anything to make Deshawn suspicious.”

  “He’s busy.”

  “I hate when you say things like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you know things I don’t. I know you do but I just, it feels weird.”

  “It shouldn’t. It’s a stupid code, but it works for us.”

  “It sometimes feels like you’re more loyal to Deshawn than to me.”

  “My loyalty is to the team, not Deshawn. If I start telling everyone’s secrets, then I’m a snitch. My team would never trust me again. You have to understand that. Besides, I don’t ever want to see you hurt. I know you still love him in some way.”

  “Only because we have kids. I don’t love him. I’m not in love with him, that’s for sure. I gave up on us, but I want my kids to kind of grow up before I call it quits. My parents divorced and I was devastated. I started having sex early with Deshawn. I even got high a few times. If Deshawn hadn’t claimed me, who knows what would have happened. I was so busy with him I didn’t have time to get completely out of control. Things could have gone so differently.”

  “I understand, but you have to understand.”

  “I do, but I hate being blindsided by Deshawn’s bullshit, one slut after another. One paternity suit after another, I’m just sick of it and him. I would love a divorce. I know I look like an idiot.”

  “You don’t look like an idiot. You look like a loyal wife.”

  “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes.

  “I would love to have a loyal wife one day.” I reached into my shorts pocket and removed the small velvet box. I flipped it open and presented it to her. “I want you to understand how committed I am to this relationship.”

  “This ring.” She sat there frozen. “Oh my God, Noah.”

  “I love you. I’m in love with you. I want to marry you. I will wait.”

  “Noah, it’s pink.”

  “Yeah you like pink.” And it’s very rare. I removed it from the box and slipped it on her finger. She didn’t move until her hand rose to her face. My promise, engagement slash wedding ring was under inspection.

  “I love pink.” Her mouth was open. That’s a good thing.

  “It’s on your hand. So that means you understand what’s going on here.”

  “You want to marry me.”

  “Yes I do. I will wait.”

  “How much is this ring?”

  “Why does that matter?”

  “Noah, don’t play with me.” Her wide eyes glanced at me then back at the ring.

  “Beautiful, your mouth is open.”

  She smirked. “This ring is huge.”

  “Yes, it’s bigger than the one you have.” I was boasting.

  “This looks like over five karats.”

  “Six point five.”

  “Noah, how much was this?”

  “It’s just two million.”

  “Noah what are you--”

  I decided to kiss her to shut her up. Her tongue felt new. Her thoughts resonated in her lips. She knew I meant every word. She knew I was serious about our future. She wasn’t a passing fad. She was the woman I wanted to spend my life with. If a two million dollar ring didn’t define that I’m not sure what will.

  Serena had a wealth of passion in her kiss. She placed her hand on the side of my face. I could feel the ring press into my cheek. This investment in our future made her happy. I was all about making her happy and making her mine. I craved all she had to offer and I was willing to offer everything that I was.

  I loved making her happy. I loved making love to her. I did everything that night to make her feel special. Special is just how she made me feel.

  She stayed the night. An expensive engagement ring made time a distant memory. Serena left early in the early hours of the morning. I was still asleep.

  CHAPTER 16

  This game night was different. Serena showed up to the game looking like a movie star. I was surprised to see her. She stopped coming to games when we started seeing each other. I wondered what had changed and why she was here. Maybe Dee invited her. Maybe he wondered why she hadn’t been to any games lately. The organization encouraged the wives presence at the games. They were all about a family atmosphere. It was a good look to have the support from the wives.

  She was sitting in the lower level next to Tiffany Hollister, Lance’s wife. Serena was a major distraction for me. I felt her eyes on me. I then wondered if I was imagining things. Being in the same room with them both made me feel uneasy. It should, what I’m doing isn’t pretty or admirable.

  I surveyed the audience looking for one of Dee’s side-chicks. I couldn’t find any of his other women in the stadium. He had fucked a few of the Cav Cats. But the Cavalier cheerleaders never made any real trouble for the players. They valued their jobs. They knew being a dancer for an NBA championship team was a stepping-stone to bigger and better things.

  Dee talked to Serena during halftime. It was brief but seeing him so close to her, whispering in her ear, it made my stomach turn. Jealousy filled me and I hated the feeling. I hated I wanted what another man had. It was a foreign emotion. She was clearly his wife in name and on paper. I wa
s nothing really. When I thought of giving myself a title they all seemed so stupid, lover, boyfriend, bootie call, side-dick. It just seemed so lascivious.

  I did a few post-game interviews and headed home. I wanted to text Serena but something told me to chill. There was the possibility she was with Dee. They seemed to be getting along tonight.

  I arrived home and found her Mercedes in my garage. Sometimes she didn’t bother to trade cars. She did what was most convenient. I ventured into the house and up the stairs.

  “I didn’t think you would come tonight. You didn’t text me.”

  “I wasn’t sure I was going to come over.”

  “I’m glad you came. You look nice tonight.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You finally came to a game.”

  “Yeah, he asked me to come. I don’t know why. I just did it. I didn’t feel like arguing.”

  “I love seeing you out in public.”

  “You had a good game.”

  “Could’ve been better.”

  “Noah you were the second leading scorer.”

  “I felt a little off.”

  “Was it me being there?”

  “It’s never you. Are you okay?”

  “Yes I’m fine. I just miss you and I wanted you to hold me.”

  “Of course.” I rushed over to bridge the gap between us. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. “Are you really okay?”

  “Yeah, take your shirt off. I love the way your skin smells.”

  I did as instructed and embraced her again. “Is this better?”

  “Yes.” She hummed into my chest and her nose rubbed my nipple. For a minute I thought she would cry. She had such a strong grip on me. “Do you want to get in bed? Do you want to talk?” I wanted to do whatever she wanted but this time, I didn’t know what that was.

  “I want to feel you inside me.”

  I can do that. I forcibly pulled us apart. I started to slowly undress her, one item at a time. I admired her body, her skin, and her natural curves. Her hips were a masterpiece. Her tits were a work of art. I took her hand and led her to the bed.

  “On your stomach.” I said it and she climbed on my bed and went down on her stomach.