Violation

by Lolah Lace

  “No, I wasn’t. I told you, I don’t have a plan. I thought I had time to figure it all out.”

  “I don’t have any kids. Why wouldn’t you want to make me a father? You know I love you. Why wouldn’t we raise a baby together?”

  “Because we never discussed a real future. Our conversations take place in your bedroom while we’re naked. You love me and I love you but--”

  “But what?”

  “But were you trying to have a black baby? Your baby would be biracial. I don’t know how you feel about that.”

  “I don’t understand what you mean.”

  “Maybe you wanted your kids to be white and with a woman that wasn’t already married. You don’t have any kids. Maybe you wanted to be married. Maybe you wanted to have your kids in wedlock and not like this.”

  “I want you. I want to marry you. It’s an insult to me if you believe I care about the race or color of my future children. I’ve been balling with black guys my entire life. If my son is black why would I care about that?”

  “My thoughts are irrational. I know that.”

  “I have been waiting patiently for your marriage to end. It’s over now. You’re carrying my baby. You have to make a decision. You have to choose. I’m going to raise my own kid.”

  “I choose you. I will always choose you. You tell me how to leave him and I will do it.”

  I didn’t have a plan. I said whatever came to mind. “Get a lawyer, divorce him. You can take half or nothing. I don’t care. Money is not an issue. I will marry you with no prenup. You know that right?”

  “I need security but I was with Deshawn in high school when he had nothing. You had your money before me. We have to have a prenup. I thought I would be married forever. I want to divorce him but I’m afraid of failing at marriage a second time.”

  “I’m not him. I believe in marriage and family. I’m not going to cheat on you.”

  “You can’t say that. You have no idea what you will be in the future.”

  “I’ve had a lot of women, enough to satisfy any lustful thoughts or urges. I want you. I want something real. We’re real. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

  “Because I stayed with him too long. I don’t want to make any more mistakes.”

  “Being with someone you’re in love with is never a mistake. Get a lawyer. The season is almost over.”

  “I’m not going to be able to hide this pregnancy forever.”

  “You should be okay for awhile right?”

  “I just try to stay away from him.”

  CHAPTER 22

  We were at basketball practice. Lance was dribbling the ball and talking shit. He was good for that. I was never much of a shit talker. My skills on the court did all the talking for me. I was the baddest White boy since Larry Bird. Well that’s what the commentators, sports reporters and fans said. Lance and I both saw Dee jogging over to us.

  “You early,” Lance joked to our almost always tardy teammate.

  “My wife is pregnant.” Dee blurted it out and halted Lance’s forthcoming shenanigans.

  “What?” Lance knew better than to say congratulations.

  “I am fuckin’- Wooh! I don’t know.” Dee placed his hands on his waist as he thought about something. I don’t know what. He was shaking his head from side to side. Clearly he was livid. “I noticed she was picking up weight. She was dressing differently. You know covered up and shit. She was dressed like she never dresses. Like I’m not stupid. She’s been pregnant two times before so I’m like what the fuck. I just knew I was wrong.”

  Lance briefly glanced over at me and I refused to give him any confirmation. I held my eyes downcast but that was all the confirmation he needed.

  “Look fellas, I don’t advertise this but I got a vasectomy a few years ago. So there is no way in hell I’m the father. Serena fucked some other motherfucka.”

  “She might just be getting fat.” Lance offered a feasible explanation. “My wife, Tiff picked up a few pounds when she turned thirty-five.” I appreciated Lance’s attempt to redirect this conversation.

  “Bro’h, she’s pregnant. I forced her to take a pregnancy test.”

  “How do you force someone to take a pregnancy test?” Lance asked what I was thinking. My mouth wasn’t working at the moment.

  “I trapped her cheating hoe-ass in the bathroom. I wouldn’t let her leave until she peed on the fucking stick. I stood in front of that door for an hour. She was going to take that motherfuckin’ test or die in that bathroom of starvation. The test was positive. I can’t believe she cheated on me. I mean damn. I can’t believe she got knocked up by some bitch-ass motherfucka. Who is so fuckin’ bold, that they would fuck my wife?”

  “Damn, I’m sorry. That’s fucked up.” Lance added because it was something we both would say or should say. But I was that bitch-ass motherfucker so I was tongue-tied.

  “Damn.” All I could say. Finally, my mouth worked.

  “I asked this bitch over and over, who he is. She wouldn’t tell me.”

  “What happened?” Lance asked.

  “I called her a nasty slut and left the house. I drove around and I tried to figure out who this dude was. I could not come up with anybody. She is one sneaky bitch. I checked the video surveillance at the house but I didn’t see anything. He doesn’t work for me. She must be seeing this dude at his place or hotels or some shit.”

  “Damn man, that’s fucked up,” Lance added.

  “I can’t go home. I wanted to choke the shit out of her ass. I’m going to catch a case fucking with her. I’m too shocked to even be embarrassed by this fucked up shit. Don’t tell anybody.”

  He didn’t have to tell us that. We would never tell each other’s secrets. I stood there and searched for the proper words that would cast suspicion off of me. “Dee, let’s just play ball.”

  “Right man, I need to take my mind off this shit. Let me do what I do best.” Dee held out his hands for Lance to toss him the ball. Lance tossed the ball over to him. This is not going good. The pregnancy cat is out the bag.

  ***

  I was nervous during practice and my performance suffered because of it. Coach Tucker yelled at me multiple times. All I could think about was getting to the locker room and texting Serena. When I finally got the chance to get to my phone, I saw she hadn’t texted me at all. I sent her a quick text.

  [D made you take a test?]

  She didn’t respond so I texted again. [Where are you?]

  I had to go out with Dee and Lance after practice. It would have been odd if I didn’t go out with them after Dee revealed his marital woes. We were always each other’s rock. Lance made sure he shot me my fair share of disapproving glances.

  We hit the showers. All I could think about was Serena. I was getting changed into my streets clothes when my cell buzzed. Finally, I got a text from her.

  [Yes he made me take a test. I didn’t tell him shit. Fuck him. CYL]

  Some of our teammates bailed out early while a few of us were still pulling ourselves together. Dee’s locker was across from mine. I glanced over at him. His back was to me. I rummaged through my duffel.

  Dee slammed his locker shut. The aggressive sound caught my attention. He looked over at me. “You have been single for a long time.”

  “Yeah so, you know I’m concentrating on basketball.” I laced my shoes and tied them.

  “All these years, you have never gone this long without a steady girlfriend. You use to always have someone in your bed.”

  “That’s not me.” I looked over at Lance. He was only a few feet away talking to Jaden.

  “No, it is you. You always play better when you’re getting laid. This is the best season you’ve ever had in your career.”

  “Yeah so?” I shrugged and stood. I closed my locker shut.

  “You are seeing someone.” Dee inferred as he bridged the gap between us.

  “Have you seen me with anyone?”

  “Na’aw, because you’ve been h
iding her.”

  “Hiding her, right,” I chuckled.

  “Why would you hide a bitch from me?”

  “I’m not.”

  “You’re cell is going off all the time.”

  I looked down at my cell phone in my hand. “Everyone’s cell goes off. What are you talking about?”

  “You don’t hang out with me or the fellas anymore.”

  “I hang at home.”

  “I’m thinking and I’m thinking. I tried to figure out who the fuck could get to my wife. I knew it had to be somebody that was close to her. Serena would never just fuck some random guy. It would have to be somebody that she trusted, someone that has access to her. Someone who could compete with me.”

  His eyes were burning me with his critical observation. Lance was standing close by and he noticed us in the thick of things.

  Shit! I am all out of lies and missteps. He knows. He suspects. He has figured it out. Has he?

  “Dee, look I--”

  “I thought we were boys. You are my peoples, my fam. You are like my brother.” His chest rose and fell as he sucked up the air. “Look at me.”

  I couldn’t do it. “Dee.”

  “Look me in the eye!” I cast my eyes at him. I had created a new eye color, guilty blue. “You backstabbing bastard.”

  “I did not mean for this to happen.”

  “Motherfucka, you didn’t mean to fuck my wife!” We had everyone’s attention now.

  “Dee.”

  “My wife, not one of my many hoes I would have gladly passed on to you.”

  “Dee, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “I will kill you.” He poked me hard in my chest but it wasn’t enough to knock me off balance.

  “Dee, I’m sorry man.”

  “Yeah you going to be real sorry when I fuck you up.”

  His hands went for my throat. My reflexes were slow only because I thought about my guilt and hesitated. I asked myself if I should let him choke me. Punch me. Tackle me. It was too late when I said no I shouldn’t allow it. He had already attacked me. He tried to grab my throat again but I fought to remove his hands from grasping my neck.

  He punched me once in the head and then a second time on my cheek. I tried to dodge the blows. I knew I should fight back but my brain and body were experiencing too much culpability to defend myself properly.

  He hit me in my mouth. I felt someone lift me off the floor. Arms wrenched him off of me. I knew Lance was doing something.

  Dee’s blow to my head made me see stars. I wanted to defend myself but I couldn’t fight him back. I tasted the salt from the blood that pooled in my mouth.

  I heard the barrage of insults Dee hailed in my direction, as he was being drug out of the locker room. I looked around and I was left in the locker room with Jaden our point guard and Malcolm the team’s center.

  “Hart what the fuck? Hart you didn’t even fight back.” Jaden huffed as he stood over me.

  “He didn’t fight back because he’s guilty as charged.” Apparently Malcolm could also see guilt with my actions. Or he was jumping to conclusions.

  “We should have let him beat that ass Hart,” Jaden said as he paced in front of me. “I can’t believe this shit. You really fucked his wife? You boned Serena Jones?”

  “Dude, say something,” Malcolm said as he sat next to me. I felt trapped into confessing something I wasn’t ready to confess.

  Jaden paced. “He should’ve broke your shooting arm. This is low. Nah, I know you didn’t fuck your teammates wife. This has got to be a mistake. Dee got it wrong.”

  Lance returned to the locker room with an icepack. He jammed it into the palm of my hand. I placed it on my aching jaw.

  Jaden addressed Lance. “Bro’h, what Deshawn say? It’s a mistake, right? No-Hart didn’t do it.”

  “Y’all need to calm down. This is their personal business.”

  “But Deshawn my brother. This team is a family.” Jaden seemed to be taking my affair hard.

  “Noah is your brother too,” Lance said.

  “Nah fuck that. He was.”

  “Hold up wait. No judgments, Noah is this shit true?” Malcolm flat out asked.

  “Of course it’s true. Why was he apologizing to Dee if it wasn’t true?” Jaden answered for me.

  “Noah.” Malcolm was hell bent on outing me.

  I looked up at my three teammates standing above me. “Yes it’s true.” There I admitted it.

  “See this motherfucker ain’t shit.” Jaden was back on me.

  “Jaden, don’t play. Serena is fine. If she came at you, what the fuck would you do?”

  “Did she come at you?”

  “It wasn’t like that. She didn’t do anything. It’s my fault. It just happened.”

  “Would y’all stop badgering my man?” Lance said.

  “He just fucked up the team. You know you fucked up the team right?”

  “Jaden I’m aware.” I had got my heart back.

  “But what, you don’t care?”

  I jumped to my feet. “Look we got two championship rings. I was a part of that. Whatever happened just happened. I do my job on this fucking team.”

  “That’s Deshawn's wife, not yours homeboy. You’re trying to steal his wife like you steal the ball. It don’t work like that fam.”

  “What do you want from me? I love this woman. I love Serena. There, I said it.

  They all just stood there and gazed at me like I had grown a second head.

  “You stupid. She will never leave him.” Jaden proclaimed to know things he didn’t.

  “Doesn’t matter. Deshawn will never raise my baby.”

  Silence crushed all sound. Three mouths hung open. I said too much. The need to defend my actions had overwhelmed me.

  “Noah, you my guy but you couldn’t even wrap it up?” The news was more shocking to Lance than I would have thought. He knew Serena was pregnant. He knew Dee had a vasectomy. Maybe he didn’t want to believe it. He seemed disappointed in me.

  “You knocked up your boy’s wife. That’s what you telling us. When Deshawn finds out he’s going to kill you and his wife. If I were you, I would pack my shit and leave town now.” Jaden warned.

  Little did Jaden and Malcolm know Deshawn already knew Serena was pregnant? He knew I was the father. Instead of the cat, the Cav was out of the bag and I was that Cav. Soon enough I may be out of a team.

  I needed to be alone with Lance. I needed him to fill me in on what was going on with Dee. I wanted the information because I was concerned about him. I wanted him to be okay. I also wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to catch a bullet as soon as I walked to my car in the parking garage. I also was worried about Serena and my baby.

  Deshawn wasn’t violent with women. I never really believed he would hurt Serena. I definitely didn’t want to think it or believe it.

  CHAPTER 23

  My personal life was on a Jumbotron. Not really but it felt like it. It spread throughout the team, so of course the power people would find out. We were favored to win the Championship yet again. Anything that could jeopardize that was going to get checked and dealt with promptly.

  There was a chain of command with all things Cavalier related. My first stop was Coach Tucker. I was called into the office after the next practice, a practice that Dee didn’t show up to, but I could understand why.

  I walked into his office and closed the door. He was standing at his bookcase. He extended his hand and I took a seat in the chair in front of his desk. I felt like I was back in junior high and in the Principal’s office.

  “So Noah there seems to be a problem that has been brought to my attention. I need to hear your side of the story. I don’t deal in hearsay. But what I heard doesn’t sound too good.”

  “Did you talk to Deshawn?”

  “Not directly. I called him first. He’s not returning my calls. He didn’t show at practice. I got you first. That’s why you are here. Please son, tell me this is all a big misundersta
nding.”

  “I slept with Deshawn’s wife.”

  Coach walked over to the chair and sat down. “Sex, you had sex with Deshawn’s wife.”

  “Yes.”

  “So your dick runs your entire basketball career?”

  “No.”

  “So all the pussy up for grabs for young fellas like you and you thought you would just go after the closest you could find.”

  “You know me Coach. That was not what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking or maybe I was. I don’t know.”

  “I can’t squash this. I’m going to have to take this upstairs to the owners. The team knows. So is this going straight to the press?”

  “No it’s not.”

  “Is this going to be a social media hailstorm? Is he going to post shit on his fucking Instagram? Are you going to see his shit and post shit on your Twitter?”

  “No Coach, I’m not posting anything. I can’t speak for him, but I’m not.”

  “You put me in a shitstorm.”

  “That wasn’t my intention.”

  “I’m going to have to pick Deshawn over you, you know that? He’s King Kong around here. You are that blonde bitch he carried up the Empire State Building.”

  “Yes I know.”

  “When the owners ask my opinion you will have to go.”

  “I know.”

  “Jesus son, was it worth it? Was she worth it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Wait maybe we can get pass this. They can go to marriage counseling. We only have a few games left. I’m not sure how the hell we’re going to win but stranger things have happened. You had sex with her one time. Was it one time?”

  “Not one time.”

  He wiped his face. He was at his wits in, obviously. “How many times?”

  “I don’t know, too many to count. It started at the beginning of the season.”

  “Eight fucking months ago.”

  “Yes.”

  “This is the best season you’ve had your entire NBA career.”

  “I know that?”

  “You don’t like it here? You seemed happy on this team. I thought you were going to stay here until the end of your career.”