Wilder Love

by Rose, Emery

  Remy sighed. “Mom. Please don’t.”

  She waved her cigarette at Remy. “I’m on my best behavior. Just speaking the truth. He was just a boy back then but now… well, he’s all man.” She winked at me and slid onto the stool next to me, blowing her smoke in Remy’s direction. That was her though. She didn’t give a shit about anyone but herself.

  I took the cigarette out of her hand and snuffed it out in Remy’s soy sauce, after confirming that the sushi had all been eaten.

  “Well, that’s not very friendly of you.” She pouted and crossed her legs. I averted my head before I saw too much. Too late. I’d have to bleach my eyes to get rid of the sight of her red lace thong.

  “What brings you to town, Rae?” I asked, attempting to sound pleasant.

  “Do I need a reason to visit my babies?”

  The same babies you abandoned when they were seventeen and left to fend for themselves even before you walked out. Hell yeah, you do.

  “Do you have a reason or is this just a friendly visit?”

  “You’ve always been so judgmental,” Rae said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t think I forgot about that time you manhandled me.”

  “I didn’t—” I took a few deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Find the Zen.

  “What are you talking about? What is she talking about?” Remy asked, redirecting her question to me when Rae just shrugged in response.

  I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago.”

  I knew that wouldn’t fly with Remy, but I thought I’d take a stab at it anyway. Remy stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes darting from her mom and landing on me.

  “It. Matters. What happened?” I heard the accusation in her voice and didn’t appreciate it, although I suppose it was understandable, given my track record.

  This goddamn woman. Was it too much to ask that we’d never have to see her again? Obviously, the answer was yes. She was like a bad rash. Just kept coming back every time you thought you’d gotten rid of it.

  “Why do you think I left town?” Rae said, pointing her finger at me. “It was his fault.”

  I exhaled loudly, and stood up, putting some distance between myself and Rae before I grabbed her finger of accusation and snapped it in two. Leaning against the counter, I crossed my arms and glared at her. “It was your choice to leave. I simply told you the truth about something you should have known about. Something you should have done something about. You were supposed to be the adult. Not Remy. Not Dylan.”

  “Shane… please tell me you didn’t… oh, my God, what did you say to her?”

  “He was making false accusations. That’s what he did.” Rae snorted out a laugh. “Russell was crazy about me.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “He’d never go after my own daughter. The whole thing was ridiculous.”

  “Shane, I told you that in confidence. Why would you discuss that with my mother?”

  I stared at her. “You’re asking me why? Are you fucking kidding me? Why wouldn’t you discuss it with your mother?”

  “Because Dylan and I took care of it. We handled the situation,” she gritted out. “What did you do… hunt down my mother and just spill all my secrets?” She threw her hands in the air and then planted them on her hips.

  I lowered my head and rubbed the back of my neck. This was not something I’d ever wanted to discuss with Remy or even share with her but now her mother had brought it up within two seconds of seeing me again. “That’s not how it happened.”

  “Well, I’m waiting to hear how it did happen.” She tapped her foot on the tiled floor, her eyes flashing with anger. When no words came out of my mouth, she raised her dark brows to prompt me into loosening my lips.

  I narrowed my eyes on Rae. Most likely, she’d conveniently forgotten exactly how it had all come about.

  “Why don’t you make me one of those fancy coffees, baby?” Rae waved her hand at Remy, shooing her away.

  “Dylan showed you how to do it,” Remy said, her gaze still on me.

  “Honestly.” Her mom huffed. “You kids are so damn difficult. Can’t even make a cup of coffee for your own mother.”

  My hands curled into fists and I wanted to scream at the woman and tell her that she didn’t deserve her kids’ generosity much less a cup of coffee. Instead, I gritted my teeth as she sashayed over to the coffeemaker and made her own damn coffee, making a big show of banging around in the cupboards until she found a suitable mug and then checking every drawer until she found the pods for the Keurig. Remy lost her patience and ended up making the coffee for Rae who disappeared for a few seconds only to return with a pack of cigarettes. She returned to her seat, so her daughter could wait on her and lit another cigarette, throwing a smug smile in my direction. An ex-con who had been through anger management sessions should not be entertaining the notion of wringing a person’s neck or wishing them bodily harm.

  “Why don’t you tell Remy what really happened?” I said when Remy set the mug of coffee in front of her mother.

  To my surprise, she told Remy the truth. “I didn’t know you were in love with him.”

  Remy closed her eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t—”

  “I saw him one night when I was coming home. He was riding a motorcycle, weren’t you?”

  I nodded and waited for her to continue the story. One I’d like to forget. But here we were, almost eight years later, revisiting another bad memory.

  “I wanted a ride, that’s all. But he said no.”

  “You were drunk.” Obviously, that wasn’t the only reason I’d said no. But I could tell from the expression on Remy’s face that she understood without my having to spell it out.

  “I followed him up the stairs to his apartment.”

  “And then what happened?” Remy prompted.

  Rae took a drag of her cigarette and a sip of coffee before she spoke. “It was all harmless. I can’t remember the details.”

  Nobody needed to remember the details or even discuss them.

  “Did you… God, Mom… did you make a play for Shane?”

  “What does it matter? It was a long time ago. He shoved me away. I do remember that part quite clearly.”

  “I didn’t shove you,” I said, forcing myself to remain calm and reasonable. “I removed your hands from my body and I put some distance between us.” The woman had palmed my cock through the fabric of my jeans. She had also grabbed my ass and rubbed her tits against my chest. The only reason I hadn’t told Remy was because I hadn’t wanted her to feel embarrassed. Which I knew she would have been. Remy wasn’t responsible for her mother’s behavior.

  Rae ignored my reasoning. “Then he made all those false accusations about Russell. Told me I needed to start acting like a mother. As if he had any right to tell me what to do.” She laughed as if the mere notion was ridiculous.

  “I’m sorry,” I told Remy. “I never meant to say anything. I was just…” I let out a breath, remembering how angry I’d been. “I wanted her to be held accountable for what had happened to you.”

  She swallowed hard and lowered her head, her hands gripping the counter as if she needed the support to hold her up.

  I went to her side and put my arm around her shoulder, trying to pull her close and comfort her. She shrugged me off and took a few steps away from me, her chest heaving, her eyes on her mother.

  “I can’t anymore with you, Mom. Do you know why Tristan Hart targeted me? Why he bullied me? Because of you,” she said, her voice shaking with anger. “It was because of you. That’s how it started.”

  “Now you’re just making things up. You can’t blame me for every bad thing that happened to you. I didn’t even know Tristan Hart,” Rae said dismissively, waving her cigarette in the air. Ash fell onto the counter.

  “You came to our school. To meet with the guidance counselor. Do you remember that day? Tristan was the guy you came on to. He told me I was a whore. He told me I was just like you. And for a long time, I think I actual
ly believed that I didn’t deserve anything good. And Shane… he was the best thing in my life. But I ruined his life. I crushed his dreams. I destroyed him. Because of me, he lost precious years with his father. Years he’ll never be able to… You need to leave,” she said, pointing at her mother. “You need to get out of this house. Now.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” She took a final drag of her cigarette and added it to the other one floating in the soy sauce.

  “Rae, your daughter—”

  Remy grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at her. “No, Shane. You’re not getting involved. Not this time. This is between me and my mother and Dylan. Please leave.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not leaving you to deal with this—”

  “I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. You need to leave.” Her voice was strong, her back ramrod straight and she had that look of defiance in her eyes. Without waiting for my response, she pressed a key on her cell phone.

  “Dylan. I need you to come home. It’s important. Please.”

  Her mother turned on the waterworks. I rolled my eyes. The woman was so predictable, but this time Remy didn’t fall for it. She didn’t try to comfort her mother. But she was kicking me out. Not happening. I wasn’t going anywhere.

  I leaned against the counter, my arms crossed over my chest like I was planning to stay all day. Which I was. And the next day. And the day after that.

  “I asked you to leave.”

  “Too bad, Firefly. You’re stuck with me. I’m not leaving your side. I get that you feel it’s a family matter. You and Dylan can deal with your mother but I’m going to be here. For you. Whether you like it or not.”

  She opened her mouth to protest then closed it and came to stand in front of me. “But I… you heard what I just said… how can we ever… you and I can never get past what happened. It was stupid to think we could.” Her smile was sad.

  Oh Firefly. You underestimate us. I’m going to give you one story with a happy ending and that story is ours.

  “You’re wrong. I’m with you for better or worse.” I cradled her face in my hands. “I won’t leave you because it gets too hard. Or because we sometimes say things that hurt each other. The past is behind us. We can’t fix it or change it. But we’re not going to let the past destroy our future.”

  Her eyes widened, and I heard her intake of breath as if she couldn’t quite believe what she’d heard. “You want a future with me?”

  “That’s all I want. It’s all I need. Just you.”

  “I love you,” she whispered. “So much.”

  “Good. Because I love you too. So fucking much.” I was still holding her face in my hands. I rubbed my thumbs over her cheekbones and pressed my lips to her forehead. I wanted to kiss her and carry her out of the kitchen and to the bedroom but that would have to wait. I hadn’t planned to make these proclamations in front of Rae St. Clair, but life didn’t always go to plan so fuck it. I wanted Remy to know what she meant to me. “I don’t want to live another day without you. I never want to say goodbye again.”

  She leaned into me and wrapped her arms around my neck, holding on tight. It would have been a touching scene if not for her crazy mother’s crying and the sound of the door banging against the wall. Dylan strode into the kitchen and Remy pulled away, turning to face Dylan, her back leaning against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her to let her know I was planning to keep my promise.

  “What happened?” he asked, his eyes darting from me and Remy to his mother who was wiping away her crocodile tears. She stood up and flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and shedding fresh tears on his black V-neck.

  “You can’t turn me away. I have nowhere to go.” She pulled back and peered at his face, her eyes pleading with him. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Dylan’s face didn’t give a lot away. But his shoulders were rigid with tension and the muscle in his jaw was ticking.

  “You have an apartment. I pay for the damn thing. What do you mean you have nowhere to go?” He extricated himself from his mom.

  “Wait. You pay for her apartment? I pay for it,” Remy said.

  Dylan sighed and shook his head, dropping his head between his shoulders. I’d never seen him so defeated. “I’m sick of your bullshit. Just so fucking sick of it. I’m done.” He sounded weary and wouldn’t even look at his mother. “Get your shit and leave.”

  It took twenty minutes to get Rae out of the house but would have taken a hell of a lot longer if Dylan hadn’t packed her stuff and tossed it in her car, physically removing her from his house. He hadn’t even asked Remy what happened, but he must have known that whatever it was, it had been bad enough for Remy to want her mother gone. Remy and Dylan supported each other and fought for each other, no questions asked. For all the shit they’d gone through in their lives, or maybe because of it, their bond was unbreakable. They would always side with each other.

  After Rae left, Dylan, Remy, and I sat down and talked. It was the first time Dylan had ever included me in a family discussion. Progress. I guess he had finally realized I was here to stay.

  * * *

  “Do you want to run away with me?” I asked Remy, pulling her back against my chest. Her body fit into the curve of mine and she let out a contented post-orgasmic sigh.

  “I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. Where are we going, lover?”

  “Tahiti, Bali, Hawaii… anywhere we want.” I kissed her hair. It glowed blue-black in the moonlight coming through my bedroom windows.

  “And what will we do in Tahiti, Bali, and Hawaii?” I could tell by her light, teasing tone that she thought I was joking.

  “Surf. Live. Love. Take photos. Make surfboards. Chase new dreams. And when we get weary of traveling, we’ll come home.”

  She turned to face me, her eyes searching mine in the shadows of my room. “You’re serious.”

  I retrieved the ring from my bedside table, took her left hand in mine, and slid it on her finger. Once again, this hadn’t gone to plan. I hadn’t meant to do this at night, in bed, in the dark. But hey, sometimes you just had to be spontaneous. “Will you spend the rest of your life with me, Firefly? Will you be my forever?”

  Her mouth dropped open and for a few long moments, she just left me hanging. I was starting to sweat, thinking this wasn’t what she wanted before she finally put me out of my misery and went for the surprise attack.

  “Yes!” She pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of me. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she kissed me so hard and so fast, it knocked the breath out of me. When she came up for air and stared down at my face as if seeing it for the very first time, I laughed. “A million times yes.”

  Life was good. So fucking good.

  Epilogue

  Remy

  One Year Later

  I moan and close my eyes, my lips parting for another slice of heaven.

  “Mmm. Delicious.” Shane sweeps his tongue over my lips and licks my chin, catching the mango juice that’s dribbling down it.

  His hands grip my waist and his perfect lips kiss me on my neck. My collarbone. My breast. He takes it into his mouth and sucks my nipple. I untie the belt of my short kimono robe and try to disrobe, impatient and frustrated that he hasn’t already done it. My back arches and my legs circle his waist. I’m trying to pull him even closer, my hands simultaneously tugging on his hair and holding the back of his head. I throw my head back and grind my hips against his, trying to get the friction I need. My panties are soaked and they’re probably leaving a wet patch on the kitchen counter. I’m so freaking horny it’s not even funny. Lately, I’ve been blaming it on our morning mango feeding sessions but we both know that’s not the real reason.

  “Shane,” I pant. “I need you.” It comes out like an angry growl.

  He chuckles, keeping up his maddeningly slow pace, teasing one nipple with his mouth, his tongue circling it and his teeth nipping lightly while he squeezes the other nipple between his fingers.

  I�
�m rocking against him, my nails digging into his shoulders and scraping his scalp. Torture. Pure freaking torture.

  He releases my nipple and pulls back, his hands sliding down my sides and over my belly, his lips following the same path. “Your mommy is greedy, isn’t she?” His lips press against my sun-kissed skin and he keeps talking like the baby can hear him and understand every word. He has whole conversations with our baby and normally I find it adorable but right now that’s not what I want.

  “Less talk, more action,” I say.

  He’s talking about mangoes and surfing. I think. I’m not really sure because it’s falling on deaf ears. I’m too busy grinding my body against his to care what he’s saying.

  Then he stops talking and lifts his head, his eyes wide. “Did you feel that?” he asks in a hushed tone. I nod. I’m holding my breath, and we’re both looking down at my stomach. I felt it. He presses his hand against my skin and it happens again. The baby is kicking. It’s just a fluttery feeling in my stomach but we’re both so in awe that for a few seconds we’re just staring at my stomach with big-ass smiles on our faces. I wipe away a tear. Hormones suck.

  “I love you so much,” I say, wrapping my hands around the back of his head and pulling him toward me. “But if you don’t give me what I want, this baby will be fatherless.” I narrow my eyes, trying to look like I actually mean it.

  He just laughs and lifts me off the counter. Then he carries me out of the kitchen and to our bedroom, although I’m not sure how he can see where he’s going because I have my tongue inside his mouth and my hands on the side of his face to lock it into the position I want. Instead of tossing me on the bed like he used to, he lays me down gently as if I’m made of precious glass. Then he slides my underwear down my legs and tosses them aside, skimming his hands up my legs and nudging my thighs apart.