Obsessed
Page 29
My heart swells as I look at her, and I’m filled with a wave of motivation. I’ll never be the old me . . . but I can be the new me. A girl who, despite the buzzing of angry thoughts in her head, slaps on a smile and trudges forward, always forward. It will never be easy. It will never be clean and simple. It’s going to be a fight. Just like boxing. And I’m determined to win.
NOTE TO READERS
As Dr. Nelson predicted, my OCD continued to play a major role in my life throughout the rest of high school. With ERP, we were able to chisel away at my danger list, but it seemed like my mind found new threats as quickly as I overcame the old ones. While I sometimes still felt out of control, with Dr. Nelson’s help I learned how to better handle my thoughts and anxieties in daily life. I was able to do well in school (the special testing allowances ended up being a huge help after all) and rejoin the cross-country team, eventually being named captain my senior year. I had fewer friends after my OCD explosion, but they were real ones. And that’s what matters. I was an honor graduate from Samuelson and went on to an idyllic undergraduate experience at Wake Forest University. There, I was able to start fresh in a place unfamiliar with the legacy of my sophomore year, though I made sure to keep in touch with Dr. Nelson to help me through the transition. After earning a BA and an MA, I began a career in marketing and eventually married my college sweetheart. Although obsessive-compulsive disorder will always be a part of my life, I would not be anywhere close to the person I turned out to be if I hadn’t finally asked for, and accepted, help. It is loved ones, friends, and a handful of dedicated physicians who have helped me find happiness and stability in my mental illness. There are many online resources available to those affected by obsessive-compulsive disorder, and I hope you will engage with them if you or someone you know is affected by OCD or other mental health issues:
ACTIVE MINDS
activeminds.org
MENTAL HEALTH AMERICA
mentalhealthamerica.net
THE NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS
nami.org
THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH
nimh.nih.gov
THE INTERNATIONAL OCD FOUNDATION
iocdf.org
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book would still be a handful of pages saved on a laptop if my husband hadn’t constantly badgered me to “work on the OCD book.” Gavin, you believed in me, and this book, long before I took either seriously. Thank you for making my life a Taylor Swift song and for being exactly the person you are.
Endless gratitude to Lauren Galit and Caitlin Rubino-Bradway of LKG Agency for picking me out of a crowded inbox and taking a chance on a complete newbie. Your guidance, hard work, and support made this dream a reality. I couldn’t have hoped to be part of a better team.
To Liesa Abrams and the incredible team at Simon Pulse: you all have transformed this book into something more than I could have ever imagined. Liesa, thank you for your thoughtful advice, sensitivity, and enthusiasm. It has truly been a pleasure.
And to my parents, my original support system, thank you for always accepting me for the person I am and encouraging me to embrace it as well.
Last but not least, lots of head pats to Ranger the dog for long, long walks through the Upper West Side when I was feeling stuck. And for being so cute.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Allison Britz graduated with her BA and MA from Wake Forest University. When not spending all of her money on books, she enjoys cooking, three-day weekends, arguing with her OCD, and extensive Netflix binges. She lives in Colorado with her husband and their dog. Obsessed is her first book.
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First Simon Pulse hardcover edition September 2017
Text copyright © 2017 by Allison Britz
Jacket design and illustration by Steve Scott copyright © 2017 by Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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Designed by Steve Scott
The text of this book was set in ITC New Baskerville.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Britz, Allison author.
Title: Obsessed : a memoir of my life with OCD / by Allison Britz.
Description: First Simon Pulse hardcover edition. |
New York : Simon Pulse, 2017. | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016048641 (print) | LCCN 2017025855 (eBook) |
ISBN 9781481489188 (hc) | ISBN 9781481489201 (eBook)
Subjects: LCSH: Britz, Allison—Mental health. |
Obsessive-compulsive disorder in adolescence—Patients—Biography.
Classification: LCC RJ506.O25 (eBook) | LCC RJ506.O25 B75 2017 (print) |
DDC 616.85/2270092 [B]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016048641