by Calia Read
Maybe she was wrong about the whole sports being the devil’s playground theory. If everyone looked this good after a workout, she’d buy front row tickets to their male basketball team. Clearly, she was missing out.
“If you stay two feet away at all times, then we might end up being B.F.F.”
“How would I enjoy that?” Optimism glinted off of him. Severine had never seen him this way. She whacked her almost empty water bottle over and over against her thigh. Mischief danced in his eyes. It would cause catastrophic damage for anyone.
“Two feet away? I think that’s two feet too fucking far.”
“God, are you kidding me? You just wasted a really good line on me.”
He stepped away from the wall. “Severine, I have no ‘good lines,’” he said with air quotes. “That would mean I was using someone else’s words. Whatever I say is all mine.”
Her hand stilled, and the bottle paused in mid-swing. If he was kidding, he had the world’s best poker face. She hated not knowing what he was really thinking. It made it impossible to keep up with him.
“So, are you coming over tonight?”
Severine quirked an eyebrow, “Uh. No. If I haven’t gone to your apartment before, why would I be coming over tonight?”
“Macsen was talking about having you over.” He lifted his gym bag over his shoulder and motioned for Severine to follow. She was too curious to tell him that the girl’s locker room was the other way, opposite of where he was walking.
“Well, obviously not tonight,” Severine repeatedly calmly. But internally, her blood rushed from the intense workout. She should feel sated and calm, but she didn’t. She only felt worse—like a Red Bull mixed with sleeping pills. Her body wanted rest, but her mind was too amped up to follow orders.
“Macsen will be crushed,” Thayer said conversationally.
“You sound way too happy about me not coming over. Do I bother you?”
“Do you get under my skin?” They walked down the tight hallway. Thayer scooted closer, to let people walk past them, and his arm pressed firmly against hers. Her heart plunged ahead, and without her consent, she was on the rollercoaster she never wanted to ride. “Yeah, you definitely get under me.”
Strength was embedded in her blood, but Severine was beginning to think that she had little to no self-control around him. Right now, she knew how it felt to be the girls she hated.
It was routine for her to rent sappy movies with Lily, bust out the popcorn and watch the corny plot play out in front of them. “That would never happen,” Severine would always say.
Real life just didn’t play out like that. Her heart thundered loudly, and tingles pricked her skin like sharp needles. All it proved to her was that those feelings could be true.
“What are you really trying to say to me?” Severine finally asked.
“Why does what I think bother you?” Thayer shot back.
“It doesn’t,” Severine said unhurriedly.
“Good,” Thayer repeated back, just as slowly.
“Well, if we’re done, I’m gonna go.” Severine stepped around him and clenched her iPod tightly in her hands.
“How come I always seem to piss you off?” Thayer called out.
Severine turned around. “Huh?”
Thayer grinned and kept the distance between them. “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten someone worked up as much as you.”
He said it loud enough for anyone walking by to hear, and a few idiots that passed by whistled loudly. Severine’s face turned red in anger. Nothing irked her more than when she was given a hard time.
Severine yanked his hand and pushed him toward the stairwell door. “Will you shut up? Everyone’s staring.”
“Is this better?” Thayer whispered.
Severine shifted back from him and groaned. He didn’t know what was bothering her—that she liked him when she really, really shouldn’t. Finally she ground out, “I’m close to having a hemorrhage because of YOU!”
“That’s the sexiest thing I’ve heard all day.”
“Oh f-” Severine veered off. She was completely losing her calm demeanor. Who was she kidding? She never really had a good hold on her patience when he was around. “You’re driving me crazy.”
Thayer laughed and moved to stand in front of her. He was way too close. “At least I’m driving you toward something.”
Severine stared at the dirty ceiling above her as she spoke. “Toward the road of insanity?”
“Why ask me? That’s for you to figure out.” His hands possessed her arms. It was enough to make Severine want to jump out of her skin. He officially had all of her attention. “Tell me, what do you see in my brother?”
Her spirits crashed. Instantly, a picture of Macsen came into her head. Severine quickly ducked her head and moved out of Thayer’s hold. “Why are you bringing him up?”
Thayer’s expression slammed into her gut. His eyes looked divided. Indecision and eagerness showed as he studied her carefully. “Normally, I’m not this gracious, but right now, I’m choosing to give you heads-up on Mac and me.” Severine said nothing. Maybe finally someone would shed some light into the dark room where these brothers kept their secrets. “Things appear simple with us, and they’re not. You wanna date my brother? That’s fine.” He came to a standstill and stared distractedly at the stairs behind Severine. “You just need to know, things in our family have never been manageable. It’s all a giant clusterfuck of mistakes and let downs.”
Severine swallowed. “I didn’t ask for a background story of your family. Macsen’s just a friend.”
His eyebrow cocked skeptically. “That’s it?”
“Yeah, it is,” Severine said. An edge outlined her words.
“Know what you’re getting into,” Thayer warned as he backed away near the exit. Somehow it sounded more like a plea. “Everyone has baggage, Blake, even the good ones.”
“And yours?” Severine asked to his retreating back.
Thayer’s back tensed. He turned around. With his arms still crossed, he leaned down close to her body and spoke to her profile. “What do I have to reserve? Everything is in front of you, Severine.”
His words snatched her interest, and she couldn’t look away. His cloudy gray eyes were intense and alert as he gauged her reaction.
She couldn’t give him one. How could she? Severine finally understood the truth.
Thayer didn’t find her snarky, strong backbone as a put off. He found those qualities a challenge.
When she glanced back at Thayer, his face was still solemn. His countenance was one of victory.
She knew the truth. And now, there was an unspoken agreement between them. The two of them no longer had to perceive what was true and what was complete bullshit.
Silently, he left the stairwell. Severine moved back to the wall and pressed her head against the wall in front of her. Her eyes were clenched tightly as she lightly banged her forehead on the wall.
“Oh shit,” she finally muttered.
* * * * *
Fresh air seemed like the best idea.
Anne left after Severine promised that she was okay walking. Honestly, she needed to be alone. How many times was Severine ever really by herself to reflect over her thoughts? Answer: Never.
But instead, she called her mom. Talking over her issues with her mom was something that would never get old, no matter what age she was. It always took off the weight of life that reality consistently seemed to press onto her shoulders.
It took a few rings before her mom, Clacy, answered. Severine may have some heavy conversations with the only stable parent in her life, but she always had to be the one to call first.
Clacy had some secret aversion to the phone. It was up to everyone else in the family to keep in touch with her. She avoided the phone like the plague. She was a telemarketer’s nightmare. After a few rings, Clacy answered. For her mom, that was considerably fast. “How are you sweetie?”
Severine breathed out deeply, “Eh
h, pretty good. I’m walking home from the gym.”
“What? Are you nuts? Tell me you have your pepper spray with you.”
Not only was her mom a top-notch phone tease, she always believed everyone in the world was being stalked by a predator. Clacy had watched way too many Lifetime movies.
“Yes, Mom,” Severine responded patiently. “I also have my brass knucks on. And if that doesn’t work, then I braided my hair and shoved knives in between each braid. I’ll swing my hair around like a plane blade. While I’m defending myself, I’ll make sure that the song, “Whip My Hair” is playing. Trust me. I’m safe.”
“Severine,” Clacy warned, “you’re too much of a smart ass. You need to be prepared for all the creep rotters in the world.”
“Stop watching reruns of Oprah. I’m good, okay?”
“Moving on,” her mom grumbled. “How are your classes going?”
“Dragging along at a snail’s pace.”
“Sounds promising.”
“Oh I know, right?” Severine laughed.
“So, how’s Lily doing?”
The subject of Lily immediately opened Severine up. “Right now she’s floating on clouds, because of a guy.”
“Well, she’s happy, good for her.”
“His name is Ben, and he’s a great guy.”
“Good, good,” her mom said distractedly. “She needs a good guy. And how have you been?”
“Okay I guess...” Severine’s words trailed off. The point of calling her mom was to open up to someone about what was really bothering her. She cut to the chase. “I met two brothers.”
“Brothers, Severine?”
Severine groaned, “I’m not dating them together, at the same time.”
Over the phone, a crinkly noise was heard. Her mom was moving around. “Clearly, you like one of them.”
“Yeah...”
“So tell me about these boys.”
Severine sighed and took a big breath of air. “They couldn’t be more opposite of each other. Macsen, he’s really funny, talkative and even a little nerdy.”
“Interesting.”
“I have a few classes with him, and I swear he reads a different book each time.”
“The other brother?” Clacy asked.
Here it was, the part Severine wanted to avoid, but couldn’t wait to talk about. “The other one is sarcastic, a little quiet. I guess Lily said he’s here on a basketball scholarship.”
“And the quiet brother?”
“Thayer,” Severine provided.
“Yes, this Thayer guy. Is he bad news?”
Yes, he’s bad for me and terrible for my heart. “No, not really.”
“And you like which one?”
“I have no idea,” Severine answered quickly.
“Good luck. Honestly, they both sound intriguing. I think it would be interesting to see you with the ‘nerdy’ brother,” her mom paused, “although, the other brother is a lot like you. It’d be funny to see you get a taste of your own medicine.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Clacy laughed over Severine’s irritated voice. “I’m sorry, sweetie. But it’s just a known fact that every girl, no matter what she says, is drawn by the idea of transforming the unattainable guy. It’s addicting.”
“Yesss,” Severine drew out. “But we both know how that works out.”
Clacy scoffed, “Nonsense. I have you, don’t I?”
Severine’s dad had been in her life shorter than a carton of milk sitting in a fridge. There wasn’t a reason to be bitter about it. She couldn’t miss something she’d never had. “Touching, Madre, you should put that in a Hallmark card.”
“I’m serious, Severine! But it’ll be fine. You’re a smart girl.”
“How’s Grandma doing?” Severine finally asked. Not that she wanted to. Every week it seemed her strong, efficient grandma, who had always been a constant in her life, was fading away. Grandma was more forgetful, would lose sight of what was going on around her and even dressing “down.” For someone who was always so put together, it was shocking to see.
Clacy took a deep breath. When was that ever a good thing? “She’s Grandma, honey. I’ll talk to her on the phone and sometimes she’s her normal self, but the next minute she forgets your cousin’s newest baby.”
“You mean Kadyn...who is now two?”
“That’s the very one.”
“And...has she gone to the doctor?”
“Of course she goes!” Her mom’s voice rose. Severine held the phone away from her ear. “But it’s never for the reasons she really needs to go.”
They all knew it was Alzheimer's. Maybe her grandma knew it too, but she refused to acknowledge it. Instead, she focused on the pains in her feet, or how her tomatoes were growing. It was frustrating. How could you help someone who refused any help?
“I’m meeting her tomorrow to go shopping with her.”
“One of her favorite pastimes—she’ll enjoy that,” Severine joked lightly.
“Alrighty, honey, I need to get off here. I have to pick her up early.”
“Lemme guess, Hardee’s for breakfast?”
“That’s the first thing she wanted to do, like always.”
“Love ya, Mom.”
“Love you, too.”
Instead of feeling at peace, Severine felt even more stressed. She should probably call her grandma, but she didn’t want to. You couldn’t deal with something if it didn’t exist, right?
She needed that mantra for everything happening in her life right now.
Chapter Seven
“We need to do something this weekend.” Severine said as she leaned her elbows against the step behind her.
“Whatcha have in mind, chickadee?” Lily moved toward Severine. This was one of the rare times Lily wasn’t with Ben. Over the course of the last few weeks, they’d been together constantly. Lily walked around with a perma-grin. Severine watched Ben with a stealth that would make any ninja jealous. The smile on Lily’s face needed to remain a fixture. Severine wanted to be sure that Ben wanted the same thing.
If only Severine could have the same solid grin on her face. She was tired of being moody and desperately needed to get away from her thoughts.
“I don’t know, a leisurely trip to Target? Road trip to Cali?”
“There's a new bar down by The Ville. Everyone’s going.”
It wasn’t exactly what Severine had in mind. She stared down at her shoes and tried to figure out why she felt so restless. She wanted to do something, but then she changed her mind seconds later. Nothing seemed good enough lately. That was what she deserved for talking to Macsen and Thayer. Severine sat up and dramatically sighed. “Why are we still outside?”
“I’m waiting for Ben to get here.”
“Okay.” Severine stood and brushed the dirt off her jeans. “No guy is worth me freezing my ass off.”
“Oh! There he is!” Lily jumped away from the concrete stairs and into Ben’s arms. Right on the sidewalk, she practically humped him. Behind the humping couple stood Thayer.
He was a nightmare that never seemed to go away. She couldn’t escape him. Over the last few weeks, she had seen him around campus. After their talk at the gym, they’d barely said two words to each other. A glance from him was enough. He expected answers from her, when she had no idea what the question was to begin with.
One thing would probably always stay the same: when he looked at her, he had the ability to demoralize her.
“Ben says there’s a frat party this weekend.” Lily walked back up the sidewalk with Ben by her side. “We should go.”
“No frat party. I went with you last time, and we both saw me the next morning. Lesson learned.”
“Uh. And going to The Ville will be different from a frat party, how?” Ben asked.
“Less beer pong. More dancing. I like parties, but they get old if it’s every weekend.”
The longer Thayer stayed silent behind Ben and Lily, the antsier Severine becam
e. She was still waiting on him to chime in and say something sarcastic. Severine moved her head to the side and looked directly at him. “What about you? Are you going?”
Thayer walked forward and approached slowly. His hands were tucked into his gray Columbia, and his jeans fit his tall frame perfectly. “If I say yes, you won’t go. I say no, you will.”
Severine asked because she wanted him to go. Her mind was lured at the prospect of seeing him again at a party. Severine shrugged and pretended he didn’t affect her. “I didn’t say that.”
“You were thinking it.” He came closer, and Severine smiled. She liked that he drifted closer without even realizing it. When he saw her smile, he froze in place and narrowed his eyes.
“I wasn’t. Besides, I just told them I didn’t want to go.”
He leaned a hip against the chipped railing next to the sidewalk. “You haven’t been at the gym lately.”
“That’s because it was a one time thing. It’ll never happen again.”
“I was just under the impression you were trying to avoid me.”
Severine tsked lightly. “Wrong impression, Thayer. It’s a known fact that if given the choice of going to work out or eating a bowl of hair...well, I’d rather eat the hair.”
Lily pretended to dry heave in front her.
“God, Severine. Find a better example than that.”
“I don’t want to hear another one of her examples,” Ben said behind Lily.
“But everyone gets the picture—I don’t want to party this weekend.”
“You’re the one who wanted to get out and do something!” Lily pointed a finger in Severine’s direction and wiggled her eyebrows.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to lay in a pool of my own vomit.”
“You have a way with words, Blake.” Thayer’s voice was deadpan.
When Severine opened her mouth to say something snarky back, she finally noticed the smirk on his face...always another joke to him.
Chapter Eight
Strong hands gripped Severine’s shoulders and a voice spoke into her ear. “Are you going to the Ville this weekend?”
Her body was manually turned. Severine smiled up at Macsen. “Probably not.”
