CHASING SUNSHINE: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK THIRTEEN)

by Honey Palomino

  CHASING SUNSHINE

  Gods of Chaos Motorcycle Club

  Book Thirteen

  Honey Palomino

  COPYRIGHT © 2020 HONEY PALOMINO

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means without permission from the author. This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events, locations and incidences are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This book is for entertainment purposes only. This book contains mature content and is intended for adults only.

  Cover Design by Ivy Hover - Digital Marketing + Branding

  Dedicated to my amazing readers,

  who I sometimes think love the Gods more than I do.

  PROLOGUE

  FORTY YEARS AGO

  “Keep love in your heart.

  A life without it is like a sunless garden,

  when the flowers are dead.

  ~Oscar Wilde

  They say perfection doesn’t exist.

  “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…”

  Five-year-old Sunny’s ocean blue eyes beamed up at his perfect mother as she sang one of her favorite songs.

  “You make me happy, when skies are grey…”

  Her clear, high voice was as light and airy as sunlight streaming through a sliver of crystal. He knelt beside her as she shoveled dirt into the hole, slowly making his mistake vanish with each pile of soil under the pale light of the crescent moon.

  “You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you…”

  Her smile lit up his soul. Even now, after all of this, she still loved him.

  She was everything to him and he was her world.

  Nothing would ever tear them apart. Not even this.

  “Mama, I’m so sorry about Sunny. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “It’s okay, baby. We can get another kitten. I know you didn’t mean to kill her. You can be my Sunny now. Would you like that?”

  “Yes,” he nodded, tears filling his eyes and running down his dirt-streaked cheeks. He’d loved the tiny orange tabby kitten that she’d gotten him for his fifth birthday. He named her Sunny, because he knew Mama loved all those songs about sunshine. He just wanted to please her. He didn’t mean to take its breath away, he just wanted to see what would happen if he squeezed, like he’d seen Daddy squeeze Mama’s neck.

  He squeezed too long, too hard. So hard.

  “Please don’t take my sunshine away….”

  Overcome with emotion, he wrapped his arms around her waist as she pulled him close, the smell of her lilac perfume mixed with the scent of fresh earth drifting into his consciousness to linger there for decades.

  “I love you, Sunny!” she whispered in his ear, as she held him tightly.

  “I love you, too, Mama,” he whispered back, his voice laced with the fierce promise of a boy’s first love.

  “Promise me something, Sunny?”

  “Anything, Mama.”

  “Promise me you’ll have sweet dreams tonight, alright? I don’t want you to worry about this, okay? We’ll get a new kitten tomorrow.”

  “Yes, Mama.”

  “And do you remember what tomorrow is?”

  “Of course, Mama, how could I forget?” He smiled. “It’s your birthday!”

  “That’s right, sweetheart. And what did I tell you I wanted to do for my birthday?”

  “Spend it with your favorite son,” he laughed at their little joke, as he was her only child.

  She joined in, winking affectionately at him and smoothing the dirt evenly across the top of the tiny grave.

  “Exactly!” she said. “I think we should go to the movies, and then maybe head over to Trixie’s for ice cream sundaes before we get the new kitty. How does that sound?”

  “If that’s what you want to do,” he beamed up at her. “I just want you to be as happy as you make me on my birthday, Mama.”

  “Every day I get to spend with you is a happy one, Sunny.”

  She bent down, kissing him on the forehead, her scent lingering between them. He smiled, blissful relief washing over him. He was sure she’d be upset, because he’d never made a mistake this big before. But she wasn’t. She just put down her knitting and came outside to help him deal with the problem. She didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t even punish him, and he was certain that would happen.

  “Now, we won’t mention this to your father, okay?”

  “Okay,” he agreed. “Our secret.”

  “Yes, our secret, Sunny,” she murmured, putting the shovel down and walking over to her garden to pluck a bright, red rose from her best rose bush. She laid it on the fresh dirt and said a little prayer.

  “Dear God, look over this little one’s soul,” she whispered, laying a hand on her son’s shoulder. Sunny thought she was talking about the kitten, but she wasn’t. She knew this was just the beginning. She knew her son was different. She knew that the light in his soul would someday turn even darker. She could only hope her prayers would be answered.

  Later that night, he’d go on to dream about her, because she was all he knew. Her celestial smile would follow him into slumber, guiding him through the fantasy worlds of his dreamscape, blanketing him in a warm, safe glow that would carry him not just through his dreams, but throughout his nightmares, too.

  When you’re loved and feel safe as a child, you learn you can get through most anything life decides to throw at you. When you wake up each morning to stability and kindness, it allows you to thrive, to become a productive member of society.

  That was the gift she gave him.

  The love of Sunny’s mother could never be surpassed.

  She was pure, she was genuine.

  She was perfect, the way all mothers should be.

  And no matter how many women tried to take his mother’s place in his life, none of them would ever transcend her sublimity, her goodness, her light.

  Unfortunately, even that degree of purity isn’t enough to drive out the darkest of evils forever.

  CHAPTER ONE

  FRANNIE

  PRESENT DAY

  I did my best to keep my eyes on the road.

  “Mom, everyone, and I mean everyone, has a boyfriend!” My thirteen-year-old daughter, Maddy, rolled her eyes at me with complete exasperation.

  “Maddy, sweetheart, how many times do we have to have this conversation? No boys, not for at least a few more years. I just don’t think you’re ready for dating yet.”

  “Well, all my friends are ready.”

  “That may or may not be true, but since you aren’t them, and you still live under my—.”

  “I hate you!” she shouted, her voice rising several octaves. I flinched at the volume, tears springing to my eyes at her words. It wasn’t the first time she’d flung those three dreaded words my way, and I had a very strong feeling it wouldn’t be the last. I pulled up to the curb in front of Astoria High School, and put the car in park, and before I could turn to face Maddy, she’d already opened the door and jumped out before I could get one word out.

  “Have a good day,” I said to the slam of the door. I sighed, leaning back in my seat. “Love you.”

  I shook my head, watching my youngest daughter stomp away from me. She didn’t look back, not even once.

  “She doesn’t really hate you, Frannie,” I said out loud to myself. “She just hates your rules.”

  I put the car in drive again and drove back towards our home, my heart breaking just a little, even thoug
h I knew she didn’t mean to hurl such hatred my way. Or, maybe she did. Either way, I knew I’d get through it — we’d get through it.

  Things were so much easier with Sage, I thought. Raising my oldest daughter had been a breeze. She was so much more agreeable, less rebellious and easy-going. She’d never been too interested in boys, not like her younger sister — who seemed to be dealing with puberty in a much more intense and dangerous way than Sage had. Some days, it seemed like her interest in boys bordered on obsessive. Sage had been more obsessed with science and biology and making sure she got into a good college so she could go to medical school eventually.

  Maddy’s attitude and priorities concerned me greatly, which is why I was adhering strongly to the rules I’d set. I knew if I gave in just an inch, she’d take it too far. I would just have to suffer through her occasional outbursts and try not to let her get under my skin.

  We were almost through the dreaded thirteenth year and I hoped things would get better as she matured a little. It’s not like I was making her wait all that long. Just till her birthday next year.

  For now, though, she was like a ticking time bomb that lived under my roof. The slightest thing set her off, and every emotion she felt was so damned intense, it was unnerving.

  I had no choice but to soldier through it, though. That’s what Mom’s do, right? You take life’s punches and keep fighting.

  I drove up to our little cabin on the outskirts of town, not far from the coastline, the remnants of last week’s snowstorm lining our short, curved driveway.

  Finn, our next-door neighbor of the last year or so, was out on his porch with his dog, and he waved as I drove up. We shared a driveway, so he was impossible to avoid. I wasn’t in any mood to talk to him, even though he was as kind as could be. Maybe a little too kind.

  I knew I wouldn’t have a choice, though. He rarely let me in the house without a greeting.

  I made it two steps out of my car before he shouted over to me.

  “Morning, Frannie!”

  “Morning, Finn,” I nodded, headed straight for my door, hoping he’d get the hint.

  “Looks like rain, maybe,” he said, pointing at the grey clouds overhead.

  “Yep,” I nodded, throwing half a smile his way.

  “Weatherman said even though it’s almost Spring, it might snow again this weekend,” he said.

  “Better stock up on supplies,” I said.

  “I’m all set for a few years,” he chuckled. “I like to be prepared, you know.”

  “I do,” I nodded. Finn made a point to tell me just how right he was, in every aspect of life. He was the first one out in our neighborhood to shovel the snow in the winter, the first one to offer help to Jane, the little old lady down the road, when she needed it, and of course, the first one to let you know he could live for ten years on the supplies he’d gathered, just in case he needed to.

  I suppressed a groan when he walked down his porch stairs and headed over my way. Apparently, he’d not gotten the hint at all.

  “Frannie, would you like to come over for a cup of coffee?” he asked, now standing at the bottom of my stairs while I put my key in the lock of my front door.

  I turned back to him, feeling slightly guilty for putting off his polite advances these last few years. I knew from past experience that his offer of a cup a coffee was actually an offer of a lot more.

  A lot more than I would ever want from him.

  I’m single, sure, and I have been for a long time, but men like Finn just don’t interest me. I need a little adventure, and I hate to admit it at my age, but I was still turned on by a hint of danger. Not real danger, mind you. Just the appearance of it.

  Maybe I should have outgrown that by now, but I still needed that little sense of a thrill to spark any interest I may feel in a man.

  Did I mention I was single?

  Yeah. I may have needed that, but that didn’t exactly mean I had that spark in my life very often. I could count on one hand the amount of times I’d actually found that thrill in the last five years, since Maddy’s father left me for his twenty-one-year-old sales associate.

  And when I did, it rarely ended well. Relationships were messy. I did not have time for messy. Between my job at the law firm as a paralegal and taking care of Maddy, there wasn’t much time left.

  “Finn, I’m sorry, thank you for the offer, but I have a ton of errands to run today. I’m just home for a few minutes.”

  “Another day, then,” he said. I could see he was trying to hide his disappointment. I felt bad, I did, but the last thing I wanted to do was encourage him in any way. It was better this way.

  Sure, I was lying. But it was much easier to describe what I had to do as ‘errands’, than tell him the truth. Telling the truth would only invite a million questions that I didn’t have time for and would make him think I was interested.

  “Sounds great,” I said, opening my door and walking inside, leaving him standing out in the cold. “Another day!”

  I closed the door, turning my thoughts to the next hour.

  I had a lot to do to prepare and a short time to do it.

  I left my purse and phone and keys next to the door and headed to the master bathroom to shower.

  Maddy’s parting words lingered in my mind, stabbing my heart a little each time.

  “She doesn’t mean it, Frannie,” I reminded myself again, trying to ease the pain just a little, as I stepped into the shower, the hot water rushing over my skin. “Just let it all wash away…”

  CHAPTER TWO

  MADDY

  “I fucking hate my mom!” I growled, to my best friend, Larissa.

  “Your mom is cooler than my mom,” she replied.

  “That’s not true!” I protested. “At least your mom lets you date.”

  “She doesn’t exactly let me,” she said, “she just doesn’t really know. And she doesn’t care what I do, so why should I tell her about Jason?”

  “You’re so lucky to have Jason,” I said.

  “I guess,” she shrugged.

  “You guess?”

  “I think he’s been texting Alana.”

  “What?” I asked, in shock. “Why?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I was sitting next to him when he got a message from her and he hid his phone from me.”

  “What a bitch!” I replied. “She stole Brian from Laura last week! How many boys does she need?”

  “I can’t stand her.”

  “She’s a slut,” I agreed, even though I had no idea if she was actually sleeping with anyone.

  “Do you think I should ask Jason about her?”

  “Maybe,” I shrugged. “Don’t ask me, though. I don’t have any experience with this stuff. Because my mom won’t let me!”

  “Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, Maddy,” she said. “This shit hurts.”

  “I know, babe,” I said, throwing an arm around her as we walked down the school hallway on our way to Algebra. “You want me to kill her?”

  “Who? Alana?”

  “Yeah.”

  “No, she isn’t worth it,” she laughed. “But thanks for the solidarity.”

  “Let me know if you change your mind,” I offered.

  We laughed together, and I felt a little better, considering Mom had ruined my morning completely. I remembered the hateful words I’d shouted at her before jumping out of the car and felt a tiny twinge of guilt that I quickly pushed away.

  It was her own fault. She was being completely overprotective and unreasonable. Not to mention old-fashioned. Everyone dated in high school. It was embarrassing that she was making me wait.

  As if to drive the knife in a little deeper, we turned the corner and almost ran right into Ethan McCoy. Immediately, my breathing shallowed and my palms starting sweating.

  Why does just the sight of him do this to me? I wondered.

  He flashed me a smile — that smile — our secret smile.

  Nobody knew we’d been talking. I
hadn’t even told Larissa yet. She’d kill me once I finally did, but for now, it was really fun having a secret. Ethan hadn’t told anyone either, and he knew I had to hide things, but so far, he’d been cool about it.

  I knew a guy as cool and popular as he was would soon grow tired of sneaking around, though, which is why I was trying so hard to change Mom’s mind. If she’d just give a little, she’d see it was harmless.

  Ethan was actually a good guy.

  He was sweet and funny, not to mention one of the hottest guys in the school. There was just one problem. A problem I knew Mom would have a hard time getting over, once she finally consented to allow me to date.

  Ethan’s a senior.

  I’m barely a freshman. I skipped a year in elementary school, so while I’m younger than everyone else, I like to think of myself as more mature, too.

  It’s only a few years difference, but Mom would definitely make a big deal about it. Which is another reason I knew I needed to keep him a secret.

  Larissa’s Mom and my mom were friends. If I told Larissa, I wasn’t sure I could count on her to keep such a big secret. Ethan was way too cool for me to lose.

  I’d do anything to keep him.

  I smiled back at him, my entire body flushing with heat.

  I sat down next to him, my assigned seat, which is where we’d first met. He’d asked me for help one day and he was so nice when I’d explained the problem to him, that we just kept talking. After a while we were texting each other and things just progressed from there.

  Of course, we kept things cool at school, so I sat down next to him and avoided looking at him throughout the rest of class. Right before the bell rang, my phone lit up. I looked down and smiled.

  Tonight’s the night, right?

  Yep! I texted back. Meet you in the meadow at midnight.

  I can’t wait. Btw, you look amazing today, Maddy.

  I stole a glance over at him and smiled. He made me melt inside. He looked over at me with fire in his eyes and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. We’d planned this for a week. I’d sneak out, meet him at the Astoria column and we’d do what we’d already done each night for the last few weeks - make out until our lips were sore.