Girl Z: My Life As A Teenage Zombie

by Verstraete, CA

  “There, there, child, let it go,” she soothed. “That’s right, let it go.”

  Finally, I pulled away and swiped my face with the back of my hand. I was all cried out. “I-I guess now we know the answer,” I griped, my voice flat. “I’m on a weird diet. Forever.”

  “Honey, don’t worry, we’ll find the answer. Together. You can’t expect it to go perfect right away. I think maybe you had too much for the first time. We’ll try it again, but we’ll use a much smaller sample. You have to go slow. And don’t worry about tomorrow. I’ll have your food all ready for you, waiting outside your door.”

  I could only frown, knowing any other experiments would have to wait until after my “feast day.” Of course now the idea of feasting on raw poultry sounded more revolting than before. I bit back a snotty retort as we went back to the dining room for the rest of the dishes, the edginess growing. After we stacked the rest in the dishwasher, I tried to dissuade my cousin from bunking with me.

  “Carm, I think you better sleep in the guest room tonight. I’m not sure how early my hunger pangs will kick in and I don’t know how I’ll act. I think it’s better if I’m alone. I guess I’ll go to bed early.”

  Tia gave Carm’s arm a squeeze and put a positive spin on things. “Good idea, honey. You’ve had a long day. Carm, you can sleep in the room downstairs next to mine. We’ll watch a movie, how’s that? Bec, feel free to come downstairs and watch with us when you want.”

  I followed my cousin upstairs and watched silently while she took what she needed. Her face couldn’t be longer, like she’d lost her best friend (almost, I thought) as she turned at the doorway. “See you tomorrow?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. Maybe not until after dinner. I probably have to stay in my room all day tomorrow.”

  She gave me a hug. “Will you be all right?”

  I bit my lip and tried not to show my turmoil. It would only make things worse. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, love you, cuz. You know that. I’ll talk to you after this is over.”

  She hugged me again, which felt good, but didn’t do much to improve my growing bad mood. Putting on a brave face, it took everything I had not to let her see me cry, or at least break into my weird hiccupping before she went downstairs.

  Never had I felt so alone.

  Chapter Eight

  I waited until Carm was gone, then peeked over the rail and called goodnight to my aunt who stood at the bottom of the stairs, a worried expression on her face. The way she twisted her hands made me feel even worse, if possible, than I did already.

  “Honey, I’ll bring your breakfast upstairs tomorrow at six. Te amo.”

  “Te amo tambien, Tia.”

  Back in my room, the door shut, the dread felt like it would choke me. Six? Wow, so freaking early and on a weekend? Stupid questions, of course, with no answers. None of us knew what time I’d wake up, if I slept at all.

  Scarier—when I woke or when “it” kicked in, what kind of shape would I be in?

  I flicked on the small TV atop my dresser and turned the channel until I came to an old black-and-white movie. The movie didn’t interest me at all, but the talking would overpower the quiet. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so alone, or so freaking morbid.

  After braiding my hair and changing into my favorite flannel sleep pants and T-shirt, I stretched out on the bed, drew up the covers, and took a deep breath.

  My mind raced. Lucky Carm. Never thought I’d call going to school something on my to-do list, but I envied her. I’d never been much for studying. No one would confuse me with an honors student, though if I really pushed myself I did get an A now and then. Most of the time Bs and Cs—okay, usually Cs—filled my report card.

  I liked art, but school was more somewhere I could meet my friends. A new guy, Miguel, had just transferred into my math class. I’d thought he was kind of cute, a cross between one of those guys on the Disney channel, I forgot his name, and a dark-haired Justin Bieber. We’d talked a little, and I thought he’d ask me to hang out or something, but I could forget about anything happening now. With a curse, I turned to my side and punched the pillow in frustration.

  Here it came. Sadness hit me like a fifty-pound weight. I sniffled though nothing came out of my eyes this time. Great.

  Why did this have to happen to me? Why-why?

  So much was going on this year…parties, the prom…for a kick, I’d even thought about running for prom queen. Not that I had the slightest chance of winning, especially not against the uber-popular cheerleaders and the other mean girls, but I’d thought it would be fun to try. Something for me and my friends to do together.

  Joke’s on me. All I’d get now is the real pity vote.

  Visions of the movie Carrie ran through my head. Freaksville. Face it. Who would ever ask me out now? I sniffled and wiped my nose. I mean, who, besides creeps like Jimmy Churlin, would want to go out with someone like me? No way was I that desperate to ever consider him. Never! Bad enough I couldn’t get him to leave me alone.

  I gave a sarcastic laugh. Huh, well, my mama didn’t have to worry anymore about me coming home with a niño. She’d always impressed on me the need to respect myself, to not let boys take advantage of me like some other girls did. Her lecture came up every few months, but she needn’t have worried. I saw how hard a couple of girls I knew had it when they got pregnant, coming to school in the morning, then leaving to go to a job and help support a baby. They had no time for friends or anything. I didn’t want that kind of life.

  And now? One more thing I probably didn’t have to worry about anymore.

  Being honest, nothing much had gone on in my previous life. My mama had worked hard as a home aide since I was little and papa died in a car accident. She usually was so tired after work I knew she didn’t need any problems from me. I spent a lot of time at Carm’s house, and then usually came home to help my aunt make dinner. Yeah, boring.

  Frustration churned inside like a milk shake machine. It wasn’t FAIR! I jumped to my feet and paced back and forth across the worn carpet.

  My anger mounted. I stared again at my arms, better with the makeup but far from perfect if someone studied me too close.

  It wasn’t fair. It was SO NOT FAIR!

  I swept my arm across the top of my desk sending the books and several of my Dia de los Muertos scenes to the floor. The small pieces scattered. The chips flew like snowflakes. Tiny cups and a vase of flowers, a skeleton in a dress broken off at the base, and a chair lay on the floor as if a mini hurricane had hit.

  My eye twirled; I tripped over my own feet. Disgusted, I gathered everything up and dumped it in a box—a perfect example of my life: broken.

  Let’s face it, now I’d never have a real relationship, or get engaged, or get married. Not unless some new medicine or something came out.

  But what if it didn’t? W-would I always be like this?

  Forever?

  Wow, I couldn’t even imagine that long.

  I’d thought of maybe filling out some apps (the paper kind) to get a part-time job this summer and take some classes at the community college after I graduated. So many plans.

  Now I could forget all of them. I’d never have any kind of life, ever—NEVER! I shoved the desk, sending the rest of the stuff careening and crashing to the floor, not caring what kind of mess I made.

  After a few minutes, I paused and gazed at what I’d done.

  Breathe. Again.

  Okay, settle down. Enough! Quit being a baby.

  Feeling sorry for myself, I shuffled out to the hall and listened to the TV blare from the living room and my aunt’s echoing laughter. I didn’t hear Carm so she must’ve gone to bed early. Rotten mess I’d made of her life, too.

  “Becca honey, are you okay?” my aunt called.

  I leaned against the railing and let out a big sigh. “Sí, Tia, I’m all right.”

  “Honey, por favor, come down here. You need to see this.”

  “Oh, okay.”


  Of course I wanted to spend time with my aunt and didn’t mean to sound like I hated the idea. Actually, I’m not sure what I’d do without her, with my mama working so much. It was easier to talk to her most times, too, but not now. This whole zombie thing was hard enough to deal with on my own without burdening her with my problems, though I knew she didn’t mind.

  I stomped down the stairs, wondering what she wanted, figuring she probably had something on her mind. I took my time, not sure I wanted to hear what Tia had to say; not this time. Something told me this wasn’t going to be some fun girly, gossip session.

  Her face welcoming, my aunt tried to ease my fears. She motioned me over and gave the couch a pat. “Here, Becca, honey, toma asiento.”

  I sat down as she asked. Uneasy, I chewed on my bottom lip. I felt a little better when she reached over and pulled me closer in a hug.

  “Honey, I know it’s hard, but you can do it,” Tia assured me. “Don’t feel like you can’t talk to me about this, all right? I talked with the doctor and nurses before you came home so I’d know how to help you. They explained everything and told me what to expect. I want you to know since your mama isn’t here, you’re not alone with this. I’m here for you.”

  I kept my eyes on my lap and blinked, trying to control my feelings, hating the goofy, gulping sounds I now made. Emotionally, I was a wreck, a big cry-baby, except the tears weren’t coming anymore. Of course I knew my aunt would help me any way she could, but hearing her say it made a big difference. It felt like a huge weight slipped off my shoulders.

  “Muy bueno.” She reached over for another hug and took a deep breath before continuing. “Honey, I have something else to talk to you about. Es muy importante.”

  Shaking her head, she gave a loud tsk-tsk to show her displeasure as she switched channels on the TV. “This special report came on. Gracias a Dios the soldiers and police have been working so hard. The streets are pretty clear here, but further out it’s still a big problem getting around.”

  She paused as if to consider her words before she turned to face me and then continued. “Becca, I don’t want to scare you. Not at all. It’s safer here, mostly, but the policia can’t be everywhere. I’m hoping the bunch of locos outside Carm’s house was a fluke, an isolated case. I know you’ve heard about the vigilantes in the city. They’ve been going after anyone who’s developed the virus. Anyone.”

  She wouldn’t let me turn away. I told her I understood.

  “Nothing much has happened in our neighborhood until someone broke the window at your cousin’s house.” She paused again and rubbed her hands, like they were cold. “They haven’t had much on the news, but I’m not naive. Things can change. Like that.” She snapped her fingers for emphasis. “Becca, honey, I fear to think what they’d do to a pretty young girl like you. It’s not safe, anywhere. Comprende?”

  My aunt appeared so on edge, I didn’t want her to be alarmed. It almost sounded like maybe everything had become too overwhelming for her. “Tia, por favor, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Honest. Carm and I will check everything out when we go to school Monday.”

  My aunt’s sudden gasp and how she put her hand to her chest scared me. “Tia, are you all right?”

  “Becca, I’m fine. You startled me. I didn’t think you’d be going back to school, not yet. I don’t think it’s safe.”

  I gave her hand a squeeze. “It’ll be fine, I think.”

  She became thoughtful. “Hmm, well, maybe I will talk to your principal first to see what is going on, but I’m still not in favor of it. I suppose there are more kids and teachers this has affected. I’d imagine they’ve put some changes in place to deal with it.”

  “I guess.”

  I stared at her and fidgeted, a bit impatient waiting to hear what else she had to say. I knew she hadn’t called me down here to just talk about this stuff.

  My aunt chuckled as she reached over and tapped my knee. “All right, I can see you’re getting restless. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. You know Amelia works in the ER part-time?”

  I waited for her to explain. “I remember.”

  “Okay, watch this.”

  The TV flickered and the picture changed. A TV reporter sat with a woman dressed in white, her face shielded by a big black shadow. “Is that her?” I asked.

  “Sí,” Tia said. “Now watch.”

  “I’m with a nurse who works at one of the local hospitals,” the reporter explained. “We’ve disguised her face and voice to protect her identity. She said the hospital has been admitting more people suffering from a mystery illness. Can you tell us what you are seeing?”

  The woman’s voice sounded hard and mechanical as she talked. “We’ve begun seeing a lot of people complaining of headaches and other body aches. It sounded like the flu, but then they began breaking out in small spots, almost like the measles. Some patients began developing sores so we had to quarantine them.”

  “What are the doctors saying about this? Is it contagious?” the reporter asked.

  “We can’t say for sure what it is,” the nurse answered. “None of the staff working with the patients have caught it, but we’re finding they all have something in common—they all were in contact with those creatures later or touched something those things had been near.”

  “You mean the zombies?” the reporter asked.

  “Yes,” the woman said. “Our waiting room was packed. We started getting so many sick people we had to open one of the closed wings. And then they started dying so fast we ran out of room in the morgue. The scary part is most of these people were fine before this. They got sick out of nowhere and no one is saying anything about it.”

  “Tia, did you hear anything about this?”

  She shook her head and jabbed the remote to turn down the TV’s volume. “No, not until Amelia told me this was coming on. She suspects it’s being kept quiet for a reason, but they’re probably already working on a new vaccine. But I don’t think it will help. Not this time. Niña, this may get worse. I’m sure officials will try to downplay it, but when more people start dying, it will turn into chaos. Things are going to get very scary.”

  I tried to take it all in and comprehend what she was saying, but it was hard. Everything was happening way too fast. Then it hit me…

  I gazed into my aunt’s warm brown eyes, ignoring what she said and focusing on what she didn’t say. Neither of us wanted to voice the obvious—she could be one of those who got sick.

  The thought made my heart ache. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—think of her dying—NO!

  Living in such close quarters with an infected person like me gave her a much greater chance than anyone else of developing the illness. I began to make those odd hiccup-crying sounds.

  My aunt pulled me closer. “No, honey, I don’t want you to worry about it, or to feel guilty. I’m as strong as a horse. I’ll be fine. Amelia told me as far as she knows, none of the people who got sick were around someone like you for an extended period of time. She thinks people like me have built up a resistance to the virus. I’ll be fine. I worry more about you.”

  The rest went ignored. Those few words, as far as she knows, echoed in my head. No one knew much about this whole thing, or they weren’t telling, I realized. I tried not to let my aunt know how much this scared me.

  Her worrying wasn’t so out of line. The expressions I saw on those people’s faces outside Carm’s house were only the beginning, I knew. Once people heard about it spreading…

  Wow, talk about strange. First, Carm has her weird premonition; now my aunt was giving me hints. I took a deep breath. Guess I couldn’t ignore what was becoming obvious any longer.

  “Tia, Carm and I were talking. She’s scared since we haven’t heard from mama or from her mother. It bothers me, too. If they don’t call or come home soon…”

  Her response was a sigh and a big, bone-crushing squeeze. “I know, I know. Someone may have to go get them. Too bad, your uncle hurt his leg and can’
t drive far. At least your mother got my message about Spence.” She held her hand up.” No, I didn’t hear anything else. We can only hope they’re finally on their way home.”

  She held my hands in hers. “Honey, everything is starting to change. I want you and your cousin to pack your bags, only the bare essentials, and bring them downstairs. We’ll leave them in the hall. If things get too bad, we all may have to go to my brother’s house. I still don’t think you should go anywhere else. Not just yet. For now, we should play it safe.”

  Her calm recital got to me. My eyes on the floor, I played with my chipped fingernail polish, not wanting to look her in the face. My childish wish for things to get better disappeared.

  Now I knew nothing would improve—absolutely freaking nothing, and certainly not me.

  The longer this went on, the more people got sick, the crazier it would get. Carm’s prediction had been right. It would get to where it wouldn’t be safe for me to be here.

  My choice would be made. This bothered me—I hated to think my being here could bring harm to mi familia.

  I gulped and tried to make sense of everything. Before all this, I’d been like any other teenage girl. My life had revolved around school, my friends, what we wore, and talking with Carm about our favorite songs and movies.

  That girl was gone.

  I didn’t even want to think what would happen if we didn’t find mi madre—or when we did.

  My next revelation hit me so hard I thumped back on the couch. The air whooshed out of me like someone had hit me in the gut.

  Home, my home.

  If I left, would I ever see it again? Would I ever see my aunt again?

  A sobering thought for a girl who hadn’t ever gone any further than thirty or so miles from her house alone.

  As if she sensed my thoughts, my aunt told me not to worry. “Honey, if it comes to that, if you have to leave, and I hope it doesn’t, I will be here waiting for all of you. We will all be fine, and together. Soon.”