The Kissing Booth

by Beth Reekles

  But I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t just make this worse than it already was.

  I looked over at Noah, who gave me an almost imperceptible shrug; he didn’t know how to fix this any more than I did.

  ‘Noah?’ Lee choked out eventually, his eyes fixed on me. They weren’t just sad, or angry – they were distraught. ‘Noah? Please, Shelly, tell me this isn’t what it looks like. Tell me right now that there’s a reasonable explanation.’

  ‘I – Lee, I – you have to believe me, I didn’t – we—’

  ‘Rochelle,’ Lee said, his voice taut. ‘Tell me this isn’t what it looks like.’ His eyes bored into mine hopefully. I knew he didn’t believe in that shred of hope for a single second, though, not really. He walked toward me, his footfalls heavy, and slow, but stopped a few feet away, like something was holding him back. The next word to leave his mouth was a desperate plea, one that broke my heart to hear.

  ‘Please.’

  And I had only one reply, one which I was sure would hurt him even more.

  ‘I’m sorry, Lee, I’m so sorry . . .’ I tried to hold his hand, tell him with my eyes how I’d never meant for any of this to happen. But he reeled backward, moving away like he was physically repulsed by me. Tears welled up in my eyes and a lump rose in my throat. I wouldn’t let myself cry, though; Lee might just think I was pathetic.

  ‘Please, Lee, it’s not like – like I was . . .’

  ‘Not like you were what?’ he snapped, but no matter how angry he tried to sound, I heard the pain of betrayal underneath it all. ‘Lying to me so you could go screw my brother?’

  ‘Lee!’

  ‘When were you planning on telling me this, exactly? Or did you think you could hide it from me forever? You think I hadn’t notice the so-called curling iron burns’ – he used the phrase mockingly – ‘and how jittery you were when you got a text? You think I hadn’t noticed that something was going on?’

  ‘I – I didn’t . . .’ I draw in a deep breath, trying to collect my thoughts. ‘If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?’

  ‘I was waiting for you to tell me, Elle!’ he yelled. ‘We’ve been best friends our entire lives, and there you were, keeping a secret from me! We’ve always told each other everything. I figured that whatever it was, you must’ve had a good reason for not telling me, but you would do eventually.’

  Before I could find any sort of a reply, he let out a bark of bitter laughter. ‘And this is what you were keeping from me. This is what you lied to me about all this time. And you let me find out like this.’

  ‘You were never meant to find out like this!’ I burst out, desperate. He had to listen, he had to understand – he had to forgive me.

  ‘Then you should’ve told me in the first place,’ he shouted back.

  I couldn’t remember the last time Lee and I had had a proper fight. We’d argued now and again; that wasn’t unusual in any type of relationship. But never like this. We’d never yelled at each other.

  ‘Oh, c’mon, Lee. It’s not like it’s all Elle’s fault,’ Noah pitched in, his tone flippant and cool, when neither Lee nor I said anything more for a few seconds. ‘Lay off her already. You—’

  ‘You,’ Lee said, so angry his voice was more like a growl. ‘Don’t you dare even get me started on you. How hypocritical can you get, huh? Telling guys to keep away from Elle, not to hurt her – and there you are, treating her like some slut you picked up in a club!’

  The muscle in Noah’s jaw began to jump, and I saw his fingers flexing into fists. ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about.’

  ‘Are you trying to tell me you two haven’t slept together?’ Lee’s eyebrows went up and he looked between us accusingly. When neither of us replied, it was answer enough. He scoffed, and tugged at his hair. ‘I knew it. So you really were just screwing my brother. Lying to me. Choosing him – some guy – over me, your best friend. If you were stood here trying to tell me how madly in love the two of you are, I might’ve thought differently, but—’

  ‘No, Lee, it wasn’t like that, I swear. It was just the one time.’

  He was silent for a second, before asking, ‘When?’ He’d spoken so quietly that, for a moment, I thought I heard him wrong. Surely when it happened wasn’t the most important issue here?

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘When did it happen?’ he repeated, looking right into my eyes – but I couldn’t look at him. I was too ashamed. ‘Rochelle.’

  ‘About two months ago,’ I mumbled, still looking at the floor. ‘After Warren’s party.’

  ‘What, like . . . like straight after you guys left early?’

  I nod.

  ‘When she was drunk?’ Lee yelled, turning on his brother. ‘You slept with her when she was drunk? After all the shit you’ve sprouted about—’

  ‘I wasn’t drunk,’ I snapped. ‘I’m not that stupid.’

  ‘Oh, really?’ Lee retorted. ‘Right now, I’d beg to differ.’

  At that point, whatever was keeping Noah back finally gave way, and he strode forward, grabbing the collar of Lee’s polo shirt in his fist and slamming him back into the wall. ‘You really think I’d treat her like that? You think I don’t have any respect for her?’

  ‘You had her lying to me for months.’

  ‘That was her choice,’ Noah spat out, pushing his brother into the wall again. I saw Lee’s eyes flit past Noah to me, and all I could do was look back at him mournfully. Yes – it had been my choice.

  I chewed my lip for a moment, watching my best friend’s face warily. For the first time ever, I had no idea what was going through his mind. His eyes were shadowed, his expression neutral, and his stance calm. In a scary kind of way, he was just like his brother for that moment.

  But instead of reacting to me, Lee swung a fist and clipped Noah right on the jaw, hard enough to make him loosen his grip so that Lee could shove him away. He looked at me one last time, his expression so incredibly disappointed, and then he was out of the room, storming down the corridor.

  Noah rubbed at his jaw. ‘Not a bad swing, actually.’

  I gaped at him before jolting back to my senses. This was no time to argue with Noah. Right now, the most important thing was making sure I didn’t lose Lee.

  And in a split second, I was running after him, hurtling down the corridor and yelling his name, trying to catch up with him as he escaped down the staircase and out of the building towards the parking lot. I heard Noah chasing after me, but didn’t pay him any attention. Lee was all that mattered.

  ‘Lee, would you please just stop for a second?’ I yelled, clutching at the stitch in my side. I was totally out of breath.

  Lee was just about the biggest person in my life. Except for the whole Noah thing, he knew everything about me. He knew my bra size. He knew I hated the smell of jojoba in the shampoo he used to use. Hell, he even knew I had a birthmark shaped like a strawberry on my butt. He was my other half. I couldn’t lose him. We were supposed to be best friends until the day we died – and we’d probably even do that together too. We were born just minutes apart.

  Some people say you’ll fall in love, and that’s the person you’ll spend forever with; the person who’ll know your deepest and darkest secrets and still love you even then, the person who’ll know exactly the right thing to say to make you laugh or smile or feel better. They’ll be the person who, no matter what, you can’t live without.

  I couldn’t have cared less about whoever I fell in love with, to be honest. I just cared about losing Lee.

  Lee stopped in his tracks, his back to me. I could see the tension knotting the muscles of his back, and he was breathing hard. What felt like eons later, he turned around to look at me, just as Noah jogged up and slowed to a stop behind me.

  Lee’s hands were balled into fists, but they still trembled. His jaw quivered too; he was fighting so hard not to cry.

  ‘Please,’ I said quietly. ‘It’s not like you think.’

  ‘Then what the h
ell is it like?’ he snapped back. ‘I can’t believe you, Elle. Lying to me for months and going behind my back to be with my brother, of all people. Do you have any idea how that feels, knowing my best friend picked my brother over me, just for sex?’

  ‘I wasn’t – I didn’t, I mean – I didn’t pick. No, wait, I mean, it – it wasn’t for . . .’ I shook my head, trying to get out some words that made sense. ‘I didn’t know what else to do! I knew you’d react like this if I told you, but I – I couldn’t . . . I thought I was doing what was best for you, I—’

  ‘You know what, Rochelle? Save it for someone who gives a damn.’

  He climbed into his car. He put the engine in gear, reversed out of the space, and left.

  And I wasn’t sure if he’d ever come back.

  Chapter 19

  I STOOD LOOKING at the empty space where Lee’s car had just vacated. The growl of its engine and the screech of rubber on tarmac rang in my ears.

  I crumpled to the ground, only now there was nobody to catch me.

  Noah walked up slowly, cautiously, behind me. I heard his footsteps, and his shadow fell in front of me, but I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t bear to.

  He stopped just behind me. My limbs stiff and reluctant, I pushed myself to my feet and dusted myself off.

  Lee had left me. He was my best friend, my twin, my other half. And he’d left me.

  He hated me. I’d ruined everything.

  If only I’d told him sooner; if only we hadn’t been stupid enough to kiss in school, or—

  Or I’d just never been with Noah in the first place.

  I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. What if Lee never talked to me again? What if I’d lost him, not just for a little while until he came around, but forever?

  Noah laid a hand softly on my shoulder. ‘Elle,’ he started quietly, but I shrugged his hand off and turned away. If it weren’t for Noah and that stupid kissing booth, none of this would ever have happened.

  ‘Elle,’ he said again as I began to walk away.

  ‘Just leave me alone,’ I told him. My voice sounded defeated, but didn’t even begin to reflect how bad I felt inside. Noah didn’t try to follow me. I headed back to school, alone.

  I couldn’t concentrate on any of my classes for the rest of the day. Lee didn’t show up; when people asked me, I said he’d gone home sick. I avoided Noah, and tried to act as though nothing was wrong.

  I got Dixon to give me a ride home, after ignoring Noah’s texts and voicemails.

  ‘You sure everything’s okay, Elle? You look like you’re going to throw up,’ Cam said.

  Dixon slammed on the brakes. ‘If you’re going to upchuck, please do so outside the car.’

  I shook my head, attempting to laugh it off. ‘I’m not going to throw up, don’t worry. I just . . . I think I must’ve caught whatever Lee’s got.’

  ‘Big surprise there,’ Cam laughed. ‘You two can’t even get sick alone, huh?’

  ‘Guess not,’ I mumbled.

  When I got home, Dad’s car was on the drive already. I’d forgotten that Brad’s soccer practise had been cancelled today – the one day I could’ve done with being at home alone, I thought with a sigh as I opened the front door.

  ‘Elle? That you?’ Dad called from the kitchen.

  ‘Yeah, hi.’ I wandered in to see him, and smiled. ‘Busy?’

  He nodded. ‘The whole team’s trying to get a deal closed by Wednesday, so it’s pretty stressful. I have a conference call later, at five thirty. It should take about an hour or so. Will you fix Brad’s dinner? There’s lasagna in the freezer.’

  ‘Sure,’ I told him. ‘No problem.’

  I made us both coffee and took mine into the lounge, leaving my dad to get on with work. Brad was splayed over the floor, surrounded by papers and his math book. But there was the faint, tinny sound of the Super Mario Bros. theme, and he jumped when I entered the room.

  ‘Hand it over,’ I instructed.

  ‘Hand what over? My math homework? Here, help yourself. We’re working on angles.’

  I laughed sarcastically. ‘Funny. Hand over the console.’

  My brother glared stubbornly at me. I could see the red plastic of his Nintendo DS console in the crook of his arm.

  ‘Well,’ I said airily, ‘I guess I’ll just have to do some extra vegetables with your dinner. Broccoli, I’m thinking.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘You wouldn’t dare.’

  ‘Try me.’

  ‘Ugh, fine! God, Elle, you’re so annoying!’ He slid the console across the floor to me, going back to his math homework – which I noticed he hadn’t even started yet. I settled down on the couch with the poetry book we were currently working on in English Lit, drinking my coffee and trying very hard not to worry about Lee and Noah.

  Trying to analyze Larkin didn’t help stop my mind wandering, though. What would happen when Noah got home? Would he and Lee have a fight?

  I didn’t want to talk to Noah. All I needed was Lee, and he wouldn’t even pick up the phone if I called him. So I had no way of knowing what was going on with the Flynn brothers. I badly wanted to go over to their house, but the rain outside was torrential; there was no way Dad would let me walk over there in this weather, and if Lee wouldn’t let me in to talk to him, I’d have to tell my dad everything.

  It wasn’t that I thought he wouldn’t understand, exactly . . . I just didn’t even know where to start. It wasn’t like I could just swan into the kitchen and announce that, ‘Hey, did you know I’ve been sneaking around with Noah Flynn, and now Lee knows and he hates me? Oh, and would you like another coffee while I’m here?’

  Yeah, right.

  That’d go down a treat.

  It wasn’t until about eight o’clock that evening when the phone rang that I knew anything.

  ‘Hello?’ Dad answered. ‘Oh, hi, June, how are you?’

  I could tell that she was almost hysterical, but I couldn’t quite hear what she was saying. Dad looked at Brad and me before taking the conversation out into the hall, where we couldn’t hear.

  ‘What’s that all about?’ Brad asked.

  ‘How should I know?’ I snapped back at him.

  ‘How should I know?’ he mimicked, and I tossed a cushion at his head in reply, trying to hear what Dad was saying. I felt sick to my stomach. What was going on?

  Dad finally came back into the room, staring down at the phone in his hand.

  ‘Noah’s gone.’

  My heart skipped a beat. ‘What do you mean, Noah’s gone? Gone where?’

  ‘He and Lee had a big argument, and June said he packed a bag and left. Didn’t tell them where he was going, or how long he planned on being gone. He won’t answer his cell phone, so Matthew’s out trying to find him now.’ Dad shook his head hopelessly.

  ‘Well . . . I mean . . . He – he can’t have gone too far, right?’ I stammered.

  ‘I don’t know. He left about twenty minutes ago.’

  My stomach dropped away, like it would on a rollercoaster. I gulped. ‘Did – did June say what – what they were arguing about?’

  My dad looked me in the eye before saying, ‘Brad, why don’t you go take a shower and get ready for bed?’

  ‘What? That’s not fair, it’s not even nine o’clock yet!’

  ‘Brad.’

  ‘Fine,’ my brother grumbled, and stomped upstairs. His bedroom door slammed behind him. My dad sighed before sitting down in the armchair, and I took that to mean I ought to sit down too.

  ‘Apparently,’ my dad said, clasping his hands, ‘they had a fight about you. Anything you’d like to tell me, Elle?’

  I gulped, feeling sick all over again. ‘What did June say?’

  ‘Don’t avoid the question, young lady.’

  I looked at my knees. ‘I – I’ve kind of . . . kind of been seeing Noah.’

  ‘What do you mean, “kind of been seeing” him?’

  ‘Well, we – at the kissing booth we did for the carnival,
he kissed me, and then – we, um, we’ve been . . . I guess you could call it dating in secret.’

  ‘You’ve been dating him.’

  ‘Not exactly, though. It’s complicated.’

  ‘Better start talking, then.’

  Was there any way to word this situation without disappointing my dad? I knew well enough that he didn’t exactly approve of Noah – how he got in fights, that he had a motorbike . . . It had never been a problem – until now. Because there was no way he’d be happy with me dating Noah.

  ‘We’ve been seeing each other in secret because I didn’t want Lee to find out. Noah and I argue all the time, and I didn’t think it would really work out between us but I wanted it to – which is why we carried on, and then Lee did find out, and now everything’s ruined and my life is over.’ I sucked in a breath when I was done.

  My dad looked . . . well, I guess shell-shocked is the only word to describe the look on his face. Like he couldn’t believe the words that had just come out of my mouth. Like he didn’t want to believe it. I dropped my eyes to the floor again.

  ‘How long has this been going on, exactly, Rochelle?’

  ‘About two months. Since the carnival.’

  Dad removed his glasses, pushing them onto his forehead and rubbing at his eyes like he did when he was really stressed out. ‘And all that time, you didn’t tell Lee?’

  ‘I thought I was protecting him,’ I explained.

  Dad shook his head. ‘Funny way of doing things. But – Noah? Of all the boys out there? He’s not exactly . . . the most stable, when it comes to relationships.’

  ‘I know, I know, it’s not some sort of match made in heaven, or anything, but—’

  ‘Are you in love with him, or something?’

  ‘What? N-no!’ I exclaimed. ‘No, of course not!’

  All my dad did was sigh again. I carried on, trying to repair at least a bit of the damage. ‘He makes me happy, Dad.’

  He looked at me again, brow furrowed. ‘You sure about that, Elle?’

  I nodded. ‘Yeah.’ My voice was hushed, and for some reason I found it hard to restrain a smile. Shaking my head in an attempt to clear it, I stood up. ‘So what happened with Lee and Noah? What did June say?’