Rock My World

by Mia Ford

  “Should we have a cat or a dog?” Jace muses, living it too.

  “Neither, we should have a set of ducks.”

  “Are you mad?” He pulls back to look at me. “We can’t have ducks on the beach.”

  “But the ocean…”

  “Ducks don’t live in the ocean.” He shakes his head and giggles at me. “We’ll need a pond.”

  “Well, we can have a pond, right? That isn’t too much of a stretch.”

  “It might be trouble with the kids…” He nods. “But we could wait until they’re older. So, they won’t fall in.”

  “That sounds perfect.” I snuggle into his chest. “Lyle and Hannah can help me look after them then.”

  “So, what are we going to call the ducks?”

  “Now that is a tough question…”

  It’s okay, I can live in this fantasy for a little while longer. Him and I, our pretend children, it will keep me going for a little while longer. It’ll implode, but I’m prepared for it, so it’s fine.

  18

  JACE

  Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

  “Urgh, what is that noise?” I mutter under my breath. “And how do I make it stop?”

  Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

  I force my eyes open, taking in the unfamiliar room surrounding me, which I quickly remember belongs to Addie. The whole night floods back to me in an instant, making me grin. God it was amazing. We made love on her couch, then later on after talking and joking around, we went up to her bed to do it again. Slowly, romantically, sweetly, it was the best thing that I’ve ever been through and I’m so glad that I’m still here.

  Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

  “Oh shit!” It’s my phone, and it’s still ringing. It could wake up Addie at any moment and she looks so beautiful, there fast asleep. Like a beautiful angel. I hate even sneaking away from her, but I have to so she can sleep. The phone seems to be getting louder with every single ring. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

  I slide my arm away and creep out of the bed. My cell phone sits in the middle of the room as if it’s been dropped and discarded. It probably was in the craziness of last night.

  Andrew’s name is on the screen which makes my heart sink. I’ve been avoiding this as much as I can but I’m going to have to talk to him now. There’s no getting out of it. And this will be a long phone call as well so I need to sneak out of Addie’s room. I grad my t-shirt and trousers and I slip away.

  “Hello?” I answer quietly while I pull my clothes on. “Andrew, is everything okay?”

  “Er yeah…” He sounds hesitant, like he doesn’t quite know what the hell is happening. I bet the other guys have put him up to this. He’s always been the peacemaker of the group and I guess that hasn’t changed. “Erm, all is good thank you. How… how are things with you?”

  “Oh well…” I don’t know what to say either. “You know. As good as can be expected.”

  “And how are things with your mom? Is she… doing okay?”

  Oh I feel dreadful, using her as an excuse like that. She would kick my ass if she knew. Or maybe she’d cut me some slack because she knows that I’m going through a crap time, but it’s still wrong.

  “Better,” I reply carefully. “But she still needs me around right now. Sorry, I know that’s unhelpful…”

  “No, no, we get it. We know that you’re having a bad time, we just… we care about you, Jace, we want to know that things are okay with you and none of us have heard from you.”

  For a reason! I want to scream. Because I need a break from you all. But of course, I don’t say that.

  “I know, I’m sorry about that. It’s just been so crazy here, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

  “Yeah, don’t worry. I’ve managed to keep Billy off your ass for now.”

  “Thanks for that. I know that must have been really hard for you, he’s relentless when he wants to be.”

  We both laugh awkwardly. There’s a chasm of distance between us now, I think that’s been growing for a long time. Maybe that’s always been there and I didn’t notice it before.

  “So, Billy has been going on about getting back in the recording studio and he wants to set up dates.”

  “Erm yeah I will… talk to him about that.” I need this call over now. It’s making me panic. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do yet and I really don’t want to be pushed in to a decision one way or another.

  “Yeah, I mean I can pass a message on if you like. I’m seeing Billy a bit later on today…”

  “Oh no, it isn’t fair for you to keep being the mediator. I will sort it out.”

  “Yeah okay… if that’s what you want, Jace. I just want… things to be okay for you.”

  I sigh loudly, my head falling into my hands. “It’s for the best. Don’t worry, mate, I’ll sort it.”

  “Right okay, well you give me a call if you need anything at all. I’ll do whatever I can.”

  “Thank you, Andrew, I appreciate that a lot. Now I better get going because I need to…” I trail off on purpose.

  “Of course. You get on. I know you must have a lot to do, so… speak soon.”

  “Right, great. I will speak to you as soon as I can.”

  We say our goodbyes and hang up. I try to work up the courage to call Billy now, to get it over and done with so I can enjoy the rest of my day, but I just can’t quite figure out the right words to make it alright again. How can I tell Billy that I don’t know if I want to end up in the recording studio again, never mind when. It will kill him and in turn, he’ll kill me. Plus, the phone calls will be relentless and I can’t deal with that right now.

  Deal with it later, the devil on my shoulder tells me. Just live in the moment for now.

  I take the coward’s way out and leave my phone on the kitchen counter, avoiding the inevitable that’s coming for me however much I want to avoid it. Telling myself that I have one more day makes it that much more comfortable. I mean, I have just brought myself a little bit longer, Andrew thinks I’m having a hard time when it comes to my mom so he will make the guys leave me for a bit. Even Billy won’t be able to fight it.

  I exit the kitchen quickly and head back into the bedroom where the most beautiful woman in the world is.

  “Oh, morning.” She’s sitting up in the bed, smiling at me. “I wondered where you’d gone.”

  “My phone rang. I thought it better to take the call in the other room.”

  “Anyone interesting?” She glances down at my hands. “I cannot believe that you came back without coffees.”

  I laugh and slide back into the bed with her. “I’ll make some drinks in a moment.”

  My hands brush over her skin, the warmth of her body under the sheets is incredible. Of course I instantly want her again. She’s a sex goddess, how could I not want her? Every minute of every day if I could.

  “You aren’t going to tell me who was on the phone?” she asks, her voice raspy with desire. Her head falls back and her eyes slide closed. She’s woken up on fire, just like always. “Was it your wife?”

  I laugh and shake my head. “Sure was. She wants me home now.”

  I kiss over her collarbone and down ever so slightly. The covers slide off and I get a glimpse of her gorgeous rock hard nipples. I harden myself, my cock edges to get inside of her, but I don’t cave in. Instead I let my lips further explore, to find what they are so desperately searching for.

  “She wants you home?” Addie arches her back, slipping her nipple into my mouth. I tug and tease, sucking and flicking my mouth all over her as I go. “What did you tell her?”

  I slide my fingers between her legs and touch her soaking wet slit before I wrench my mouth away. It’s hard to drag it off her breast but I need to, to reply. To play this little game.

  “I told her that I had something to take care of first.”

  She stiffens for a moment and I realize my mistake. It’s all fun and games to mess around but I forgot in all
of it that the rumors of me cheating on her that tore us apart in the first place. I need to stop this now, so I focus on the kissing, moving my mouth further and further down until I can inhale her scent.

  “Oh, you smell delicious,” I murmur, my breath tickling her clit. “I forgot how incredible you smell.”

  She writhes and squeals, the pleasure getting the better of her. “Stop it, will you?”

  I blow out another breath, and chuckle as she grabs onto my hair, tugging every time it feels good. Then I take my fingers and slide them along her slit, the wetness coating me as I do. I plunge my fingers into her, and bring my tongue a little closer to her. The urge to taste her already overwhelms me, it distracts me from any thought of teasing her. I just can’t bear it. I just can’t wait to send her over the edge.

  With my free hand I grab her butt, then while I continue to thrust my fingers into her, I clamp my mouth down on her clit. She screams, this time the shrill noise explodes from her chest like a firework, so I move faster, more frantically, I become a mad man on a mission, desperate to coax the orgasm from her.

  “Oh shit.” She lifts her butt off the bed, basically riding my fingers and making my tongue flick even faster. “Oh fucking hell, Jace, you are too much, you are…”

  There’s more that she has to say, I know it, I can sense it, but she can’t get the words out. Much as I want to know what she has to say, I’m more concerned with seeing her fall apart. I want her to start the day exploding over my tongue so she thinks about me all day long. I love the idea of her sitting at her desk, being all corporate and business like, while thinking about the way I have turned her on all day long.

  “Fuck, Jace.” She pulls my hair hard, almost yanking it from my skull, but I don’t care, I’m buzzing. High off life, I don’t care about the pain at all. The pleasure of tasting her over shadows everything else. “Shit.”

  She bucks hard as the orgasm hits her. Her butt flies off the bed which makes it harder for me to keep my grip on her but she collapses back down just in time for me to feel that intense shudder racing through her body. I love it, knowing that shiver will be hot and filled with pleasure, bursting through her veins, consuming her entirely.

  Shit, this is why it isn’t easy for me to just go back. Because I want to be here as well.

  “Oh my god, Jace,” Addie gushes once the orgasm has ebbed away. “That was intense.”

  “I know… and now I’m going to make you a coffee, because I don’t want you to be late for work.”

  “Oh fuck!” She bolts upright. “Work, I almost forgot all about it.”

  “Don’t panic, you aren’t late or anything, I just want to make sure that you have a nice morning.”

  “Ooh, that sounds amazing.” She lies back down to really feel the post orgasmic bliss. “I haven’t ever been treated like this before. It’s nice, I like it.”

  I want to make a promise to her that I will always do this for her, but it falls apart on my lips. I don’t want to make a promise that I won’t be able to keep. So, I smile and just say nothing. Once I’ve made my decision, I can say everything that I want to, I can make all the promises in the world.

  “Right, well you just lie there and keep looking beautiful. I will be back in a moment.”

  I leave the room with a mixture of emotions circling through me, I’m happy, I’m sad, I don’t know how I am. I’m unsettled, and I won’t be able to change that until I know.

  19

  ADDISON

  “I ’m so glad you managed to fit me in tonight,” Luci says wryly as she brings us both glasses of wine to the table. “It seems like you have been really busy lately, what with all the dating.”

  I nod and force a smile on my face. I hate this, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I have been avoiding Luci because I’ve been wrapped up in Jace, but also because I’m too scared to tell her the truth. I will have to though, and tonight is supposed to be the night. I’m just trying to work up the courage.

  I take a giant swig of my drink for some Dutch courage.

  “I know. I’m sorry about all of that, it’s hard to juggle everything, what with work…”

  “Oh yeah, work.” Luci rolls her eyes. “I almost forgot about your workaholic tendencies for a moment there.”

  “Yeah, well, I still need to get a lot done. That hasn’t changed.”

  Luci takes a sip of her drink and cocks her head at me. Her eyes run all over me and pierce right through me. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, wondering if she somehow already knows the truth. Someone could have seen us, I don’t know. We have been out in public together. She will hate me even more for lying…

  “You’re distracted, Addison,” she tells me seriously. “And you seem a little closed off.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I don’t mean to be… I’m just tired.”

  I shake my head and rub my eyes. I am tired, but that isn’t what the problem is. I need to suck in a couple of calming breaths and to just blurt it out already. But the words are stuck in the back of my throat, I can’t seem to get them out however hard I try. Not that I’m trying very hard.

  “I can see that you’re tired, but I think there’s more to it. It all seemed to start with the mystery guy.”

  “M… mystery?” What am I doing now? I’m acting like I don’t even remember. It’s dumb.

  “Yeah, you know, the one that Hayley emailed you about and wouldn’t give you any details. I think you had a good date, but it’s spiked something. You have been on a lot of dates since.”

  I can’t sit still any longer. It’s like I have ants in my pants and I need to move before I go crazy. I move over to the kitchen sink and stare out the window, just so I don’t have to look at her face as I lie. I have a few unread emails from Hayley that I’ve just been ignoring, just like the rest of the world.

  “That’s what the dating agency is for, isn’t it? Dating, getting to know myself.”

  “I know and I get that, but it doesn’t seem like you’re finding yourself. It’s more like you’re losing yourself.”

  My head hangs low, I’m sure she does see it that way and I’m just making it worse by not being honest. Really, I feel more like myself than I have ever done before, but I haven’t been able to show Luci that.

  “I… I… I don’t know what to say.” What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just say it?

  “Addison, that sounds like a cop out to me. I know you well. You have something on your mind and it bothers me that you’re not just telling me the truth. It would be so much easier if you just did. If you’re in some kind of trouble or something, then just tell me. I will help you, whatever it is.”

  Now I feel even worse. Luci is actually worried about me which she doesn’t need to be. I’m not being fair.

  “Luci, I… I do have something to tell you and I’m afraid how you’re going to react.”

  “Oh, Addison, just tell me please. I really need to know.”

  “The mystery man…”

  “I knew this was something to do with him…” She sees my shoulders slump forwards. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t just… sorry, please just tell me what’s going on.”

  “The mystery man is someone I know. Someone you know as well.”

  “He is? The rich guy? Ooh, that’s exciting. Is that why his identity was all secret? Is he nice? Do you like him? Is that who you have been spending all your time with? Sorry, I’m hitting you with too many questions all at once. I’m just really excited for you. Please, go on. You tell me what’s happening here.”

  “It’s…” Oh god, she’s going to kill me. I know she is. I can’t stand it. “Jace.”

  “Jace?” All the color drains from her face. “Jace who? Jace Fairs?” She rakes her fingers through her hair. “You are kidding me, right? Jace Fairs? Your ex? That asshole who cheated on you? I thought he didn’t come back here, I didn’t realize that he was back in town… oh god, this is a joke, right? Please, tell me this is a joke.”

&nb
sp; Her face twists up in pure fury. This is even worse of a reaction than I was expecting. I know she hates Jace because of what he did, or what she thinks he did anyway, but I thought she’d be more confused at first.

  “It isn’t a joke, Luci, but just hear me out, please. I know you have my best interests at heart, but…”

  “I do have your best interests at heart and that’s why I’m just utterly blown away that you would do something so stupid. That he would even bother coming anywhere near you after what he did. It just… this baffles me. The dating agency was supposed to be a way to take you forward not for you to back slide. If I even thought that…”

  “Luci, please.” I try to keep my voice steady but the emotion cracks in regardless. “Please, just hear me out. Don’t react like that until you’ve listened to me. I have reasons for what I’ve done…”

  She stares at me, her eyes as wide as they can possibly go. She really doesn’t seem to even want to try and understand what’s going on with me. She’s just too furious to even begin to understand. But I’m going to have to try. I can’t lose my best friend over this, I need her to see just a little bit.

  “Luci, I didn’t know it was him when I first went on the date, you know that…”

  “Did he know?” she bites out, her hands on her hips. “Was it all a big plan?”

  “I… I don’t know. I don’t think it was like that, a big spiteful thing. I think he just wanted to see me.”

  “Do you understand how messed up that is? That’s insane, Addison.”

  It is. I mean, I can see it through her eyes and it is. Once I got my head around it, I thought it was romantic, but now Luci is tearing me apart. She’s making me rethink every issue and I don’t know if I like it.

  “I just… look, we got to talking. He explained everything to me and we ended up spending time together.”

  “He explained how he cheated on you? How the hell did he worm his way around that one?”

  “He didn’t cheat. He wasn’t kissing Emma that night. You must have seen wrong…”