Sarah's Orphans

by Vannetta Chapman

  Mia was oblivious.

  And Mammi? She was watching him with a look of compassion. They had spoken several times about his mother, and each time Mammi had encouraged him to pray for her.

  “I think I always knew my mom was sick. I guess that means what happened…that it’s not completely her fault. And I might want to see her again one day…if she couldn’t make me leave.”

  “Trust me, Mateo. That’s not going to happen again.”

  “Because I want to stay here as long as Sarah will let me. I might feel bad about…about my mom.” Tears stung his eyes, and he blinked them away. “But this is my home.”

  Tommy nodded, and then he pulled out another stack of papers. “Then I assume you want to move forward with the item we discussed last time I was here?”

  Mateo knew what that meant. They had all talked about it again at a family meeting earlier in the week.

  “I do,” he said.

  Sarah glanced at Mammi, at him and Isaac, and finally down at Mia. When she looked up, a smile covered her face, and it seemed to Mateo that it even reached her eyes.

  She squeezed his hand. “Ya, we surely do.”

  “Great. I have some papers for you to sign.”

  CHAPTER 73

  Sarah sat outside the courtroom, glancing up and down the bench, and marveling at how much her life had changed in six short months.

  The last time she’d stepped into this corridor, she had been alone, afraid, and almost at her wit’s end. Looking back, she could see that she had taken the children because she’d felt immense pity for them hiding there in that abandoned trailer. Her sense of duty, or moral obligation, had propelled her through those first few weeks. But now?

  Now she had learned to love them as if they were her own kin. They were as much a part of her family as Mammi. She wasn’t the only one who cared for Mateo and Mia, who were sitting next to her on the bench. Andy, Henry, Luke, and Isaac had all insisted on coming to the hearing.

  When she’d suggested that it wasn’t necessary, Henry had said, “We’re family, ya? Family stays together.” And he’d brought his hands together until one palm clasped another and his fingers were intertwined.

  That had brought back the memory of Mammi in their home, that first evening. So it was settled. They would all travel to Tulsa for the six-month hearing, even Mammi, who was at that very moment walking down the line handing out pieces of chocolate. It was a wonder they didn’t all have a mouth full of cavities.

  She nearly laughed when the bishop accepted a piece, walked over to the trash can, and spit out his chewing gum. Even he was susceptible to Mammi’s endearing ways. Mary Beth had come as well—both she and Levi had insisted that they wanted to be there as a character reference in case the judge needed one.

  The only person missing from that first court appearance was Paul. He’d offered to come along, but Sarah knew that his hands were full with work on the farm. She’d politely told him it wouldn’t be necessary. Although he’d seemed disappointed, he had nodded and told her he would be praying for good results. It seemed that he had wanted to say something else, but in the end, he’d squeezed her hand and walked away.

  Sarah wasn’t ready to examine her feelings for him. Life was complicated enough. Perhaps when things were settled with the children.

  Chloe appeared at the top of the stairs and hurried toward her. “Am I late?”

  “Nein. The judge had one case before ours, and it’s taking a bit longer than they thought it would.”

  The boys squished together so that Chloe could sit beside Sarah.

  “Thank you for allowing me to come.”

  “Of course. You’ve been with us since the beginning.”

  “Any more letters criticizing you for taking in Mateo and Mia?”

  “Only a few. The columns you published on adoption needs seem to have helped.”

  “I’m still receiving a lot of correspondence on that. Some days I wonder how people could not know the need existed, that there are plenty of children to go around.” She pushed back her dark curls. “But then I didn’t realize either—not until I received Becca’s call about your situation. I guess some needs in our community just become invisible.”

  “Perhaps we don’t see what makes us uncomfortable.”

  Chloe studied her a moment and then smiled brightly. “I think you might be right. You’re a wise woman, Sarah Yoder.”

  And that made Sarah laugh, because most days she was fortunate not to feel lost in a sea of questions.

  When they were called into the courtroom, everyone filed in with only a minimal amount of jostling and wisecracks.

  Judge Murphy was already at the bench, signing sheets of paper. She glanced up when they had all settled into the first row. Smiling, she removed her glasses, folded her hands on the desktop, and peered down at them. “Well, our group has grown since last time. Perhaps you all would be so good as to tell me your names and who you are.”

  “Andy, and I’m the big bruder.”

  “Henry, second biggest.”

  “Luke. I guess I’m the middle kid—sort of.”

  “Isaac. I was the youngest, but now I’m not.” There was no mistaking the pride in his voice.

  “Mateo, but you know that.”

  Mia bounced in Sarah’s lap. “I’m Mia, and this is Sally.” She held up her doll and everyone laughed.

  “I’m Sarah, the oldest.”

  “And I’m Fannie Yoder, but everyone calls me Mammi. And that suits me fine.”

  Sarah felt such pride in her family at that moment that it seemed as if her heart actually swelled to fill up her chest.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Troyer. Still shepherding the flock?”

  “We do our best.”

  “And I believe you’re Chloe Vasquez.”

  “Yes, Judge.”

  “I recognized you from the picture in your news column. I’ve appreciated your recent articles on the need for more foster parents, and I’m happy to inform you that my courtroom has become a bit busier since you so thoroughly examined the topic.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.”

  The judge put her glasses back on, indicating it was time to get down to business. Tommy reported on his home visits, Mateo’s progress in school, Mia’s development, and ended with his recommendation that the children remain in the Yoder home.

  So far the hearing had gone as he’d assured her it would. But now came the part that he wasn’t so sure about. They had spoken of it before he’d left their home on his last visit.

  “It will depend on a lot of factors, Sarah. I’m not going to lie to you. It’s no small thing to permanently place children in a foster home, to sever that tie between kids and their natural parent. However, in this case, I personally can wholeheartedly endorse it. How the judge will rule…well, we’ll find out when we submit the request.”

  Judge Murphy pulled out another sheet of paper and studied it a moment. Then she said, “I have another motion from Sarah Yoder regarding Mateo Lopez and Mia Lopez. This motion is to place the children permanently in your home, and I see that it is approved and recommended by Mr. Cronin.”

  She again pulled off her glasses. “Before I make my ruling, I’d like a few moments to speak privately with Sarah’s brothers, followed by Sarah, and then separately with Mateo and Mia. I realize this may take a few more minutes than you had anticipated, but I believe it will be worth our time. Not to mention that doing this correctly is more important than doing it quickly.”

  Everyone nodded in agreement, and then Sarah’s brothers trooped into the judge’s chambers. Sarah’s heart began to beat more rapidly. She turned to Mammi. “Do you think that’s gut or bad?”

  “It’s neither,” Tommy said, moving over to their side of the aisle. “Judge Murphy likes to give everyone involved a chance to express their thoughts in a less intimidating setting.”

  “The judge’s room is less intimidating?” Mammi asked.

  “Well, at least you’re not trying to
be heard across the courtroom.” Tommy placed his hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. She’s a good judge.”

  Mia began to hide her doll under the bench, and then inside Mammi’s large shoulder bag, and finally in the bishop’s lap. Sarah suspected she would attempt to hide herself next and was determined not to take her eyes off the girl. But then her brothers trooped out and the judge was calling her into chambers.

  CHAPTER 74

  Paul had made an honest effort to focus on his work, yet he’d managed to spill the feed he attempted to put into the pigs’ buckets, let the goats out of the pen, and stall the tractor twice. Finally, he decided he was creating more work than he was completing, so he had a quick lunch and took his fishing pole to the stream.

  After he’d lost his bait three times, never once noticing that the line had been pulled, he gave up on that as well. Best to sit and think good thoughts for Sarah. Who was he kidding? Better to pray.

  Paul had never experienced the crisis of faith that Sarah had struggled with, but neither did he consider himself especially spiritual. He prayed at church, thanked God for his food, and occasionally petitioned the Almighty regarding the weather.

  But that afternoon, as he waited for the Yoder family to return, he found himself turning to God on his friends’ behalf. He prayed that Sarah would remain calm and sure of God’s plan. He petitioned God for the very best decision for Mateo and Mia. He prayed for safety as everyone traveled to Tulsa and back. Finally, he prayed that his feelings for Sarah would not be in vain, and that God would use him to somehow bless her.

  When he could wait no longer, he walked over to the farm, hoping the exercise would use up some of his excess energy. He passed the Englischer’s van as it was leaving, and he thought of retracing his steps.

  “Now probably isn’t the best time,” he muttered.

  But he could no more turn around and go home than he could ask the sun to set an hour early. So he continued down the lane and climbed the porch steps.

  No children in sight.

  No indication of how things had gone.

  Tentatively he knocked on the front screen door, resisting the urge to peer inside.

  Mammi opened the door. “Paul. Come in.”

  “How did it go? What did the judge say?”

  Mammi’s smile should have been enough to calm his nerves, but it was Sarah—walking out of Mammi’s room with a relieved, “She’s finally asleep,” that calmed any fears in his heart.

  “Oh, Paul. I didn’t know you were here.”

  “Ya, he just came to check on us.” Mammi patted her pockets, and finding them empty looked temporarily befuddled. Sarah actually laughed. “I’ll go and fetch a few of the oatmeal cookies you made last night. We can eat them on the porch.”

  But Mammi was suddenly too busy to join them. She might have winked at him, but Paul wasn’t sure. He followed Sarah into the kitchen to help.

  “You don’t have to feed me.” His stomach betrayed him with a loud grumble.

  “Is that so?” Sarah added some cheese and crackers to the plate.

  Since she wouldn’t let him help, he stood with his back resting against the counter, arms crossed, enjoying the sight of her. The ache he sometimes experienced when he watched her resembled an actual physical pain. He’d made a miserable mess of showing her how he felt. The picnic and the flowers and the attempts to woo her with chickens and goats had all failed. Perhaps it was time that he speak candidly with her.

  “Outside or in?” she asked.

  “Here’s gut.” He loved their kitchen. Loved the way it was filled with tantalizing odors. Enjoyed looking at the many chairs around the table and remembering the meals he had shared there. If he were honest with himself, it felt more like his home than the corner of the barn he was living in.

  “Where are the boys?”

  “Scattered. They couldn’t get out of the van fast enough. Andy and Henry had work to do. I believe Luke is playing with the neighbor boy, though he promised me it wouldn’t be video games.”

  “Mateo and Isaac?”

  “Still working on enlarging the chicken coop. They’re making it three levels high this time.”

  She sat beside him, close enough that Paul had to resist the urge to reach out and touch her face, run his fingers down her arm, kiss her lips.

  Confused, he crammed two crackers and a piece of cheese in his mouth, and then he realized he couldn’t say a word until he chewed and swallowed.

  He didn’t have to ask, though. Sarah told him about Tommy’s recommendations, the judge’s questions, and how she had called them separately into her chambers.

  “What did she ask your bruders?”

  “If they resented having two more in the family. I think she doesn’t truly understand what it means to be Amish.”

  “Or maybe she comes from a small family herself.”

  “Maybe so.”

  “Mateo and Mia?”

  “If they were happy, how Mateo liked school, whether they were ready to move forward.”

  “And what did she ask you?”

  “If I was sure. How I felt about taking on so much responsibility. I…I found myself telling her about Brian and how it had, well, unsettled me. She said it’s normal to have that kind of fear, especially for new moms.”

  “Ya. I remember one of my sisters-in-law refusing to allow her newborn into a buggy. She was determined to stay home with that child rather than risk an accident.” Paul hadn’t thought of that in a long time. “We hadn’t had a buggy accident in years. In fact, our community in Indiana has both the triangles and the lights on the back. I suppose it’s normal to feel protective of one so young.”

  “Judge Murphy said the same thing. She said it doesn’t matter that Mateo and Mia are older. Part of my mind still thinks of them as newborns.”

  “And you asked her about the permanent placement?”

  “I did.” Sarah finally met his gaze. “She’s going to consider it, and we return in six months.”

  “Is that gut or bad?”

  “Tommy assures us it’s normal. She’s very careful regarding her responsibility to do what’s right for the children.”

  “Surely they would be better off knowing they’re here permanently, that their life isn’t going to change again.”

  “Mateo and Mia are doing well right now. She assured me that slower is better as far as change goes.”

  “I suppose.”

  Paul suddenly realized that Sarah was staring at his shirt. He looked down to see if maybe he’d spilled something on himself.

  “What?”

  “Your button.”

  “Oh. Ya, that fell off last time I washed it.”

  “But—”

  “So I sewed it back on.”

  “You sewed it wrong.”

  She leaned closer to examine the offending button. “You sewed it from the inside out.”

  “I know that—now. But at the time, it seemed right, and then later, when I put the shirt on, I didn’t have time to fix it.”

  Her laughter spilled out and across the kitchen.

  He wanted to be offended, but it was impossible to be anything but happy when Sarah smiled.

  “So you’re mocking my sewing skills.”

  “Ya. They are worse than your dishwashing.”

  “Oh, they are, now?”

  “You need a wife, Paul Byler.”

  She said it in jest. He knew that when she clamped her hand over her mouth, but he couldn’t resist teasing her, couldn’t resist testing the waters.

  “Would you know anyone interested in the position?” He pulled her hand away from her mouth, held it between his, and then he kissed her softly on the palm.

  “Ewww. That’s disgusting.” Isaac shoulder-bumped Mateo, who was standing beside him in the doorway to the mudroom.

  “Tell me about it.” Mateo rolled his eyes. “I saw Andy kissing Emma after church on Sunday.”

  “I do not get it.”

  “
I don’t want to get it.”

  The boys grabbed a couple of cookies from the plate and made their way back outside, discussing whether to use goat fencing or chicken wire on the chicken coop.

  Sarah jerked her hand away from him and jumped up, declaring she needed to be preparing dinner.

  But Paul thought he detected a slight flush on her face, which he took to be a good sign. Now all he had to do was figure out a way to court her.

  CHAPTER 75

  For Sarah, the months of fall passed like a train barreling down the tracks.

  In September Mateo and Isaac returned to school, this time without Luke, who had officially graduated at the end of May. Rather than take a job at one of the restaurants in town, he opted to work with Andy. Their brother needed the help because the work on their farm had increased as they’d gained animals and planted winter crops. Plus, there was the fact that Henry wouldn’t be around as much. He had decided to apprentice with a member of their community who had a small engine repair shop. Moses Miller’s place was on the east side of their district, and he was of the opinion that there was enough work for Henry to hang out his own shingle on the west side of town.

  “I have a lot to learn before I can do that,” he’d assured everyone when they had their weekly family meeting.

  “How will you get to the Millers’ each day?” Mammi asked.

  “Walk to town and catch a ride with Frank Meeks. He delivers orders for Rebecca and Joseph. I asked when I was in town yesterday, and Rebecca says that he starts on the east side and works his way back toward town. He can drop me off in the morning. In the evenings, I’ll either catch a ride with Moses or walk home.”

  “Even with a ride, that will be a walk of two miles each way,” Andy pointed out.

  “It’s not a problem.” Henry bounced a tennis ball to Mateo, who sent it back. “Except maybe when it snows.”

  “We’ll deal with that problem when and if the time comes,” Mammi said. “For now, it sounds like you have a gut plan.”

  In October Sarah received her first letter from her mother. She sat staring at the envelope, unsure if she wanted to open it, convinced it could only hold bad news.