by Ryan Michele
I really hoped this whole mess with Rob ended soon so I could be with Macy again. At least let her know where I was. I didn’t want her to think I was ever ditching her.
I wished I could have talked to her about Rob. I wished I could have talked to anyone about Rob, but it just wasn’t possible.
Trying to get out of my head, I grabbed my iPod and plugged it in my ears, hoping the music would pull me out of these thoughts.
After a while, I must have drifted off to sleep.
When Landon snuck into bed, I curled up next to him and fell back asleep.
The next few weeks flew, and I really was starting to settle into life in Georgia. The conversations with Mom were very much focused on me. She would tell me how she was doing, but never once mentioned Rob, even when I asked about him.
Landon and I continued spending every moment we could together.
I began working at Aunt Maggie’s shop in downtown Williamsfield. The small boutique sold hair bows for children and some fun hair accessories for us older women. I really enjoyed the job. I loved seeing all the little kids come in and playing around with them.
I also liked meeting the people in town. Well, most of them. Word was spreading through the town that Landon and I were exclusively seeing each other, and I had a short visit from that bitch, Meg.
Needless to say, she was none too happy about this new turn of events and let me know it.
Meg didn’t threaten me in the least just wanted to drive home the point that Landon would always run back to her. I had enough on my plate that I didn’t need to deal with her, so I never even told Landon about it. I just let it ride.
Landon was absolutely wonderful. I not only learned something new about him every day, but I found myself opening up to him more and more. Don’t get me wrong, there was no way in hell I wanted to talk about Rob, but I did tell him about what I called ‘previous relationships.’
In these chats, I talked about Rob, even though I didn’t use his name. I only talked vaguely, though, and never about anything physical.
I found that talking to Landon about me came easily. I enjoyed it.
Landon had taken me back to ‘our spot,’ which is the beautiful tree by his lake, several times. I thought it was my most favorite spot on this Earth. Nothing touched me there.
Well, nothing but Landon, but he’d never gone any further than kissing and touching.
There had been several times where I would try to touch him, but he just kept kissing me.
At first, I thought he was repulsed by me. I knew it stupid thinking, but Rob seemed to feel that way a lot.
But then Landon explained it to me.
“Sadie, I want to be with you more than you could possibly know. But before I do, I want you to know and be confident that you’re not a just anyone. I want you to know how I feel about you. I want you to feel me.”
I was in heaven. It was my fear that Landon would get what he wanted from me and then take off. I couldn’t cope with that. My feelings for him were growing way too strong, and I knew I couldn’t deal.
When he laid it all out for me, I melted. He wiped any fears from me and entered my heart in a much deeper way.
I, of course, didn’t tell him this because I couldn’t give him that power. Hell no! But it was there.
After this time with him, I no longer felt as if I would be a notch for him. I knew he honestly cared about me. This really just took me opening my eyes and stop from being so damn stubbornly stupid.
It was all there, right in front of my face; I was just pushing it away.
I wanted to be with him. I wanted to be connected to him. I wanted it more than anything.
Every night, Landon held me while I slept, and every morning, he kissed me when I woke. His kisses were even more powerful now that my feelings for him had grown.
Every time it was like an electrical current running through my body, and I craved the shock. I craved him.
Rob was never far from my mind, but I pushed it down deep. I’d been super careful to not leave any traces of me anywhere. No credit cards, no phone with my name on it, and Aunt Maggie paid me cash, so no paper trail. I was being as careful as I possibly could and starting to relax into this new life.
I missed my mom, but talking to her regularly helped. I also missed Macy, but I had been briefly talking to her on IM, which helped ease the guilt and missing her. I still hadn’t heard a word from Seth. I just kept praying he was okay.
This brought us to today. Landon went home to grab a few things and asked me to get ready. He said he wanted to take me out. I loved when he took me places.
“Sadie.” I jumped and then smiled at Landon’s voice.
“Yeah, in the bathroom, almost done. Where are we going today?”
“It’s a surprise. Come here.” His outstretched arms welcomed me.
I fell right into his warmth, slipping my arms around this waist. Breathing in deep, his smell of outdoors and sexy man nearly brought me to my knees.
I looked up at him and smiled, watching the spark flare in his eyes. Landon bent down to my lips, barely brushing against them. I wanted more. Instantly, my hand entwined in his hair, pulling him closer to me. Chest to chest, I deepened the kiss. It didn’t take him long to fully reciprocate, his mouth opening while sliding his tongue inside.
I couldn’t help the small moan that escaped my throat. My entire body was on fire from head to toe, as he was sucking the air right out of me. I could feel him everywhere. I wanted to feel him everywhere.
Landon had always been so careful not to touch me, as if he knew it would bother me. He had touched my face, neck, and hugged me before, but this was different. His hands were on my stomach, and they were inching their way higher to my breast.
When his finger brushed the underside of it, I gasped and continued to devour his mouth. That must have been enough of an invitation for him as he then began to lightly brush against my nipple.
Electricity shot through my body. I had never in my life felt this. I almost thought I was burning, but I wouldn’t change a second of it.
“Don’t mind me.” Lauryn’s words made me instantly pull away from Landon. Taking my thumb and rubbing it over my bottom lip, I could feel the tingle he left behind.
“Hey, Lauryn,” Landon said with a sheepish smile on his face.
“Hey … don’t let me stop ya. That looked pretty hot,” Lauryn said, smiling.
I felt my entire face blush—why I didn’t know. I was a grown ass woman; so what if I was kissing a guy.
Landon grabbed my hand, entwined our fingers, and pulled me into him, wrapping his other arm around me. “This is far from over,” he whispered in my ear.
“You think so?” I said, smiling, looking up at him.
He returned the smile. “We’re gonna get out of here. I’ve got a busy day planned.”
“Have fun!” The look on Lauryn’s face was one of ‘we are so gonna talk when you get back.’
I just smiled and followed Landon to the truck.
Holy shit! There was no fucking way I was gonna be able to keep my hands off her today. Did she even realize what the hell she was doing to me right now? She was beautiful—absolutely breathtaking. Those long legs in those shorts … damn, I loved those shorts.
Fuck! How in the hell was I supposed to show her that I wanted to be with her and only her when all I wanted to do is devour her? Last night, I kept thinking about what more was. I told her that was what I wanted, so I had to figure out what the hell that meant. I already knew I wanted to have sex with her … I mean, who the hell wouldn’t? She’s fucking hot. A man would have to be a total fucking moron to not want that.
But that wasn’t all I wanted. I wanted to be with her, to hold her, maybe even love her. I was already in deep, like just being around her sealed that. I wasn’t saying I wanted to marry her today and whisk her away … well, I would like to whisk her away, maybe to a private island in a bikini.
“Where are we going?” Sadie�
��s beautiful voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“It’s a surprise.” I turned and smiled at her.
“A surprise, huh? Can I have a hint?”
A hint. What could I tell her that she wouldn’t really know, considering we’d been here many times. “It’ll be hot.”
“Hot! It’s Georgia; of course it’s hot,” she said, smiling.
I had my mom and Lainey help with today. Since it was such short notice, I needed help putting it all together. When I told them of my plan, they were all in.
After what Lainey pulled at my mom’s house, we had several long conversations about Sadie and me. I think she got it now, at least I hoped so. When I talked to Mom this morning on the way to pick up Sadie, she told me that everything was a go. I was nervous as shit; I couldn’t lie about that.
I wanted Sadie to see what could be. Hell, I wanted to see what could be. Pulling off the dirt road, I figured Sadie would know exactly where we were going. We had just been here a few days ago.
“Our spot.” She smiled at me.
“Yes.” But little did she know that it wouldn’t be the same as when she saw it before.
Pulling up to the spot, I looked over at Sadie. I wanted to see her reaction. Her mouth opened wide, her eyes about to pop out of her head, and her hand rested on her heart. I guessed she liked it.
“It’s beautiful, Landon. How did you do this?” she asked quietly.
“Magic,” was all I told her.
I got out of the truck and headed over to help her out. Sadie stood in front of me, her back to my front, and I put my arms around her. I was in awe of what my mom and Lainey had put together. It was pretty fucking awesome.
Draped throughout the trees was this white see-through stuff that blew in the wind. I had no idea how they got it to say up there, but there was tons of it. You could still see the trees through it, which was what I wanted.
In the middle of the area was a blanket, spread out. There was a picnic basket on the side, which I hoped Mom filled with good stuff. I didn’t give her any input on that one. No one messed with Mom and her food.
I could see there was a tray in the middle of the blanket that seemed to have food on it. Shit, I hoped the bugs didn’t get to it.
“This is wonderful. Landon, you didn’t have to do all this.” Sadie turned in my arms, and I looked in her beautiful eyes.
“God, you’re gorgeous,” I said, brushing my hand on her cheek. She tilted her head into my hand.
“Thank you,” she whispered and placed her head on my chest. I tightened my arms around her, and it felt perfect.
“Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Great, let’s go eat.” I took her hand and led her over to the blanket. She sat down on one side and looked all around. I could see tears forming in her eyes. What the hell did I do wrong?
“Baby, don’t cry.” I pulled her into me with my arm around her shoulder.
She shook her head, almost as if she was trying to shake her mind out of something. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
I let go of Sadie and was instantly pissed I did. I felt this urge to just keep touching her all the time. I hadn’t stopped since that first kiss. I went to the picnic basket and began to pull out the food. Inside, I found chicken salad sandwiches, carrots, celery, chips, and strawberries.
Nice and simple just like I asked; not that I wanted to rush anything, I just had lots more plans in store.
I put the food on plates and handed one to Sadie. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, now will you tell me about your dad?” We’d spent tons of time together, and Sadie always seemed to get stuck talking about her dad. She told me the next time I asked she would be ready. I hoped that she would be now.
Sighing, Sadie started, “My dad was a wonderful man. He was a broker. He worked fifty plus hours a week at his office, but as soon as he got home, all of his attention was on my brother, mom, and me. When we were younger, he would chase us on his knees around the house. He’d let me ride on his back and play horse. He taught me how to throw a softball and play soccer. As I got older, I did the typical pull away from your parents thing. I wasn’t so nice a lot of the time. Looking back, I wish I could change some of that.”
“We all did things that we wish we didn’t. How did he die?”
Shit! I shouldn’t have asked. The lone tear rolling down her cheek was pissing me off. I wanted to wipe that pain away, and here I was bringing it up—stupid. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s been a while. It actually happened really fast. All the stress of work got to him. He had a massive heart attack and died instantly. It was so strange. He called me on the way to work, and we talked about nothing really important. But little did I know, that would be the last time I would get to talk to him. Mom called me around two in the afternoon crying, and that was when my world changed.”
Sadie was crying now. I reached over and pulled her on to my lap. She didn’t struggle or shy away. I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry not knowing what to say to her. Obviously, his death was still really fresh for her.
Even though she was sad, I loved holding her so tightly against me. Inhaling her scent, she smelled of strawberries and vanilla, which had become my most favorite smells on Earth.
Gently stroking her hair and planting small kisses there also, she began to calm down.
“I’m sorry, Sadie. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I whispered in her hair.
“I’m fine.” She was very short—almost embarrassed.
“It’s okay to miss your dad.”
She didn’t say a word; she just allowed me to hold her.
I really missed this, just holding a woman and comforting them. No, I was not a pussy, but Sadie’s soft body on me was seriously hot. I could feel every curve. Her ass pressed against my dick made me hard as a rock. But I knew now wasn’t the time for that.
When Sadie pushed off my lap and sat next to me, I wanted so badly to pull her ass right back where it was, but I knew I couldn’t.
I always thought of the first time I met her. The panic in her eyes when Lauryn smacked Lukas was clear as day. I still had no idea why she reacted the way she did, but I intended to find out.
“I’m sorry about that. Let’s talk about something else. Okay?”
“Sure.”
Taking my hands, I wiped all the tears from my face. I needed to pull myself together.
I wondered how he made this place so beautiful. When I first saw it, I probably looked like a fish out of water with my mouth hanging open. I couldn’t believe that anyone would go to so much trouble for me.
The way the tulle hung in the trees made it look like a fairy princess’s dream. It was soft, and the way it blew in the breeze was unbelievably romantic. My heart fell when I saw it. The more this man did for me, the more I wanted him to do it.
Rob never did anything like this. Even in his ‘good’ days, his idea of romantic was sitting with me at the dinner table before he had to run off to work.
I knew I shouldn’t compare them—Landon and Rob—but I couldn’t seem to help it. I knew that I didn’t want another man like Rob … ever. But Landon was proving to me more and more that he was nothing like Rob.
“Is everything okay with you and Lainey?” I knew they talked several times over the last few weeks, but I never pried and asked.
“No worries. We’ll be fine. We always are.”
“You really shouldn’t be mad at her,” I whispered. I really didn’t want to come in between him and his sister. I just wished he would have told me himself so I didn’t have all these horrible scenarios in my mind.
“I should have told you in the first place, and it would have never happened.” Shit. Did he just read my mind?
“I know you should have, but it’s been done. I would never want you to be mad at her because of me,” I said, looking at our entwined fingers on the blanket.
> I lay down on my back, looking up at the trees and Landon followed. “It’s okay. Lainey and I will be fine. We’ve talked, and I think she gets now how I feel about you. I think she is actually happy.”
He squeezed my hand reassuringly. I turned my head to look at him, and he was staring at me.
“Would you have told me if Lainey didn’t?” It was the question I was dying to know now for weeks.
“Yes.” Blowing out a deep breath, Landon continued, “I just didn’t know when a good time would be to tell you my ‘issues.’ It’s not like I talk about them anymore. I tried to block it out of my head, but my actions were just screaming about it to everyone.”
I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. Maybe he really was tired of just having meaningless sex. I still wasn’t a hundred percent convinced of that yet, but I did hope he was.
I knew I said I didn’t want a relationship, and I knew I shouldn’t, but when I was with Landon, he made me want it. He made me feel things that I never thought I could. Well, he made me feel happy, for the first time in a long time, and I just wanted to latch on to that.
“I’m not gonna say you did the right or wrong thing. That was your choice to make, but you did what you had to do to cope with the pain. It was all you could do.”
Looking in his eyes, I could see him deep in thought. I wanted to jump in there and find out what he was thinking.
“It wasn’t a good way to cope.”
“If you say so.” I smiled at him. The thought of him with lots of different women made my stomach turn, but I couldn’t hold that against him. I made my choices to be with a man who hurt me. I didn’t make a good choice, and now I had to live with it every day.
Landon turned on his side and propped up on his elbow, letting go of my hand. His hand gently brushed my cheek, pushing my hair out of my face. My eyes instantly closed.
Just that little touch made my body heat.
“You are so beautiful, Sadie. I need to kiss you.” My lips parted, giving him the silent permission he wanted.
His once gentle approach must have been lost. This kiss, while not painful, was strong and demanding, coaxing mine into a beautiful dance. I matched him step by step, move by move.
