by Ryan Michele
Landon rolled on top of me, pressing his body weight exquisitely on me. His hands made it into my hair and pulled my messy knot out. “I need to put my fingers through your hair.”
I groaned in his mouth. God. Yes. Please.
Landon’s hand snaked up my body, but I didn’t flinch. A few weeks ago, I couldn’t stand to be touched. It made my stomach turn. The only touches that Rob gave me were rough, hurtful, and with no regard if I wanted them or not. He did as he wanted, whenever he wanted.
But Landon’s hands were different. They were caressing and soft. It felt like he wanted to cherish my body and me. I hadn’t been cherished since before my dad died. I couldn’t help but melt into him.
Landon’s hand brushed the underside of my breast. My back instantly jumped off the blanket, but with his weight, I didn’t get far. His hand brushed my nipple through my t-shirt, and I could feel myself beginning to throb.
“Sadie,” he whispered.
I looked in his eyes that were on fire for me. Yes. For me. Never had a man looked at me like they wanted to devour me, but not in a forceful way. I dared to say it was a loving way? Surely, that couldn’t be true. At least not yet. But I saw something there.
Reaching for the hem of his shirt, I easily pulled it off of him when he lifted. While I couldn’t see his front, my hands explored his back. There was ripple after hard ripple. My hands had a mind of their own and began grabbing and clawing at him. I had never felt this hot.
“We need to stop,” Landon said, pulling away.
“What? Why?” I said, gasping for breath.
“Sadie, I want to more than anything, but you need to know that what we have here is more than sex. I want you to know it is.”
“I do know it is. More than you know. Please.” I knew I sounded needy, but damn it, I was. I needed him for more reasons than he knew.
“I want to go slow.” I could see the inner struggle in his eyes. He wanted me; I knew that much. He wanted me to believe him. Then it hit me. That was what today was about—him showing me that I mean more to him than one day of sex.
“I get it, Landon. All the trouble you went through to make this a beautiful afternoon, I get it. The way you’ve taken care of me, I get it. You’re so gentle with me, I get it.” Taking his head in my hands, I made him look right in my eyes. “Landon. I. Get. It.”
He closed his eyes and dropped his head. “You have no idea what you do to me. Do you?”
“Show me,” I said.
“I want to so badly. I’ve been rock hard since the first time I saw you. Ol’ boy hasn’t gone down a bit.”
I smiled at him. I loved knowing that I affected him that much. What he didn’t know was he had me more revved up than I had ever known possible.
“Please,” I whimpered.
I really needed him. I needed to feel all of him. I needed him to make love to me.
Landon instantly attached his lips to mine, and I knew that it was time.
She. Said. Yes. I needed to make this good, take my time, and make sure that she was completely and utterly pleasured. I couldn’t just get off. This wasn’t about me. This was all about her. I wanted to make sure she felt me.
I could see desire throbbing in her eyes, burning so bad it was lighting me up. Her pulse racing and her breathing sporadic, she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. And damn if that wasn’t the biggest fucking turn on ever.
My lips left hers and began featherlike kisses down her neck, collarbone, and shoulder. I moved her shirt to the side to get better access to that creamy white skin.
Then I thought better of it and slowly placed my hands on the hem of her shirt. Feeling her skin under my hands was killing me. She was soft and unbelievably curvy.
I slowly pushed my hands up her body; lifting her shirt with them, while kissing her neck repeatedly, I pulled off her shirt with ease. The beautiful moans and mewls coming out of her mouth made my dick ache. I really needed to be inside her.
I continued kissing her body as she continued to shudder under me. I moved down her chest to her breasts. They were full and beautiful, and I needed to see them. I unclasped the front of her bra, and her breasts fell out.
They were perfect, milky white skin and soft pink nipples. I heard the groan come from the back of my throat. She was absolutely perfect. I couldn’t wait another minute. I had to get them in my mouth and feel them—now. Taking one in, I gently sucked at first. I licked, nipped, and licked again. She arched her back to give me better access. I took her up on that. I needed more.
I sucked harder, pulling the nipple out of my mouth and blowing cool air on it. When she moaned, I couldn’t help but smile at her. I reached back and attached my mouth again until her nipple was at a very stiff point, and she was thrashing underneath me.
My hand moved to the breast I was licking so I could pay attention to the other. Twisting her nipple, my mouth assaulted the other. Sadie was utterly delicious.
“Landon,” she whispered desperately. I could feel her need and smell her arousal. Her response to me was electrifying. Her hands threaded through my hair as she pulled me into her.
God, I wanted her. I kept kissing her as if I was trying to climb inside of her. Her arms moved down my back and brushed the inside of my jeans. I couldn’t let her touch me or I would blow.
In one swift move, I took her hands and pinned them with one of mine above her head. She continued to kiss me and began licking and kissing my neck. God, I loved it when she did this.
I whispered in her ear, “I’m gonna make this good for you, honey.”
I didn’t know my mistake, but it was something. Sadie’s entire body tensed and she began to pull her arms out of my hand. She then began yelling at me, “Let. Me. Go.”
I instantly let her go and rolled off of her. What the fuck?
“Sadie, baby, what’s wrong.”
“Nothing. Take me home now.” Her tone was clipped and short. She scurried up and grabbed her bra, yanking it on. Next came her shirt before she righted her pants. What the hell did I do wrong??
“What did I do?” I heard the panic laced in my voice.
“Nothing. Take me home now.”
“I will. Get in the truck.” I didn’t want to piss her off any further, but what the hell did I do? Everything was going so good.
I knew she was feeling it. The noises she was making and the way she kissed me—I knew she was into it.
Sadie climbed into the truck. I threw my shirt on and fixed my pants, climbing in after her.
“Sadie, please talk to me. What did I do?” I pleaded with her.
Her only response was “Take. Me. Home.” She wouldn’t even look at me. Her eyes were staring at the window. What the fuck? I replayed what happened under the tree over and over, but could not come up with what I did wrong.
When I held her arms, she was more than willing. I whispered in her ear, like I always did, and then bam. Whatever the hell this was. Pulling up to her house, she jumped out of the truck before I stopped it. I threw it in park and jumped out after her.
“Sadie!” I yelled.
“Landon, go home. This is over.”
What the fuck? To hell it was.
“No, it’s not. Talk to me.”
“No, Landon, it’s done.” I reached to grab for her, but she immediately pulled away from me.
Not fifteen minutes ago, I was all over her body, and now she wouldn’t let me touch her. What the hell was going on?
“Sadie, we have to talk about this. I don’t know what I did, and you mean too much to me to let you go.” I knew I was pleading with her, but I didn’t want to lose her.
“You need to leave. Goodbye, Landon.”
I could see the tears welling up in her eyes, and I knew she was actually serious.
“Sadie, don’t cry. Talk to me.”
“I can’t talk to you. Goodbye.” Sadie threw open the door, slamming it shut, and I heard the lock click.
“Damn it,” I muttered to myself, g
rabbing the back of my neck.
I had no fucking clue what just happened here. I was not giving her up just like that. Why would she even think that? And she didn’t talk to me about any of this.
I felt my anger mix in with my hurt. I needed to get out of here. I didn’t want to leave her alone, though. I didn’t have a fucking clue what was going through her head, but I knew from what happened previously, I didn’t want her alone.
I needed to call Lauryn and get her here.
Then, I just needed to stay away from the bottle of scotch that was calling my name.
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
The tears streaming down my face turned to a total sob fest that I couldn’t stop.
“Lauryn!” I yelled in my tear-clogged voice. “Lauryn!”
No response. I didn’t even bother to look and see if her car was here. I guessed she was gone.
I ran up to my room and threw myself on the bed. My sobs continued over and over.
I knew Landon deserved answers about the way I acted—or well, reacted. I just couldn’t give them to him.
How did I tell him that when he whispered those words in my ear, my entire world shattered? I knew he didn’t know any better. He didn’t mean them the way Rob did, but it brought back too many memories that came flooding in, knocking the wind out of me.
Those words, ‘I’m gonna make this good for you, honey’ were the ones Rob said every time before he had his way with me. I felt as if Rob was on top of me, pinning me down, and I needed to get the hell out of there. I needed to get away from Rob.
I could feel myself slipping, into what, I wasn’t sure, but I needed to talk to someone. Macy. I grabbed my computer and fired it up. I knew she would be on because her IM was connected to her cell and she always had her cell by her.
Logging in I saw her name.
Me: Macy?
Macy: OMG! Are you okay?
Now how could she have known I wasn’t?
Me: Yeah. Just wanted to chat with ya.
Macy: You can’t be okay. Stop shitting me.
Me: What are you talking about?
Macy: Seth
The air instantly left my body.
Me: What about Seth?
Macy: You don’t know?
Me: NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO SETH?
Macy: He’s hurt, and he’s home.
No … no … no … no! Hurt? But he’s home … alive.
Me: How bad?
Macy: Kinda bad. May not walk again.
I thought I wouldn’t be able to cry anymore, but I was damn wrong. My brother was home, and he was hurt.
Me: WTF? How long has he been home?
Macy: Almost a week.
The sadness I felt instantly turned to anger. My brother had been home for a fucking week, hurt, and no one bothered to tell me. I’d talked to my mom numerous times, and she didn’t say one fucking word about it.
Me: UR shitting me
Macy: Sorry thought u knew. ☹
Me: No one told me. Thanks.
Without a goodbye, I slammed the computer shut. I needed to get home … NOW. It would take me hours to get there, so I needed to leave right now. I grabbed my bag and began throwing clothes inside. I grabbed my toothbrush and a few other odds and ends. I could buy the rest once I got there.
I grabbed my laptop and iPod, throwing them in the bag. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed some snacks and a Diet Coke. I knew I wouldn’t want to stop. I threw everything in the car and began to drive.
He’s hurt. He’s fucking hurt and no one decided to tell me. Fuck them! I cannot believe they fucking kept it from me. My anger was at the boiling point each mile I drove. I thought to call Mom and yell at her. Why the fuck would she keep something this big from me? I picked my phone up and went to press her number.
Instead, I threw the phone in the passenger seat. I wondered if Aunt Maggie and Uncle Jim knew. I was sure they did, and they fucking kept it from me, too.
Lauryn … fucking Lauryn. How the hell could she look at me every day knowing this and not breathe a word. She had to know. And if she dared give that fucking gossip excuse I would blow at her.
My hands began banging on the steering wheel and random things began pouring out of my mouth.
“Fuck them!”
“Those pieces of shit!”
“How could they keep Seth from me!”
“Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Damn them!”
I felt better that it was out, and it was slowly beginning to subside. The bad part were the tears. Tons and tons of tears clouded my eyes, spilling over my cheeks and down to my lap. This made it difficult to drive part of the way.
I couldn’t call Seth directly because I didn’t have his number. As far as I knew he didn’t have one. My phone began playing “Country Girl, Shake It for Me” by Luke Bryan, and I knew that was Lauryn. I really did not want to talk to her. I didn’t want to talk to any of them.
I reached over and turned my phone off. I could deal with all of them later. I just needed to drive. I grabbed my iPod and plugged it into the car’s system. I cranked up the music and tried to get out of my thoughts. I just needed to get home to Seth.
The drive wiped me out. I was exhausted, but kept driving all the way through. Good old Miranda, Luke, Kenny, Zac, and Blake kept me going singing about love, revenge, and loss.
I needed to call Landon and tell him where I was. He would think that I ran from him, which really was not what I was doing. I just needed to process what happened in our spot. I was still having a hard time with it, but my focus now was on Seth.
He couldn’t fucking walk. What the hell happened to him? Pushing through, I passed the Michigan state line. I felt a chill as I did. Rob. Shit. Fuck. Damn. I didn’t think once about him this entire trip here. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Okay. I tried to think—he didn’t know I was coming so I’d be able to get to my mom’s house and just hide out there for a while. He’d never know. I’d just stay really low and hide my car in the garage. Breathing deep, I realized I’d be fine. It’d be okay.
But the closer I got to Galen, Michigan the colder it seemed to get in the cab of my car. The fact that it was dead of night wasn’t helping this feeling at all. Only twenty more miles. I could do this.
Keeping my eyes focused on the road, I kept going. I kept way under speed so I knew I wouldn’t get pulled over. I didn’t want my name plastered on the Michigan State Police scanner.
There were only a few cars on the road, and the one behind me had only been there a little bit. I was watching closely.
When the red and blue lights began flashing in my rearview mirror, my heart sunk. No. No. No! I kept going. I was not going to stop. I was so close to my mom’s house. I knew it was Rob. There was no siren, only the lights. I couldn’t stop.
Panic filled my body. The tears were coming to the surface, but I tapped them down. My hands were shaking along with my body. I had to get away from him.
When the car behind me suddenly began coming around me, I didn’t dare look out my window. And when the car pulled in front of me and kept going, my body finally began breathing again. Oh my God. I thought for sure that was him.
The police car turned off the side of the road, and the lights faded. Relief washed over me. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t him. My heart was still pounding out of my chest, and that panic was still so strong.
I willed myself to calm down, but it was very hard to do. I reached down to turn my iPod off and when I looked up, someone was standing in the middle of the road.
The panic struck in full force. I turned the wheel as sharp as I could to avoid hitting whoever was in the road. I heard myself screaming.
Everything went black.
I wouldn’t accept it. I didn’t believe for one minute that Sadie was done with me. After everything that had happened these last few weeks, there was no way she was done with me.
I sure as hell was not done with her.
I shouldn’t have walked away even after she told me to. I
should have banged on that fucking door and made her tell me what I did wrong.
I should not have left her by herself. I knew firsthand what leaving her alone looked like. I never wanted to see Sadie like that again. But when I called Lauryn, she said that she’d be home soon. So I knew Sadie would be with her, even though I really wanted to be with her.
Damn it!
I plopped on my couch, staring at the TV that had nothing playing on it. What the hell was I to do now?
Three hours later, my phone began singing some country song that Sadie had programmed into it. Lauryn’s name came up on the display.
I answered immediately. “Lauryn?”
“Is Sadie with you?” Lauryn’s voice was panic-stricken.
I felt the heat rise in me. “No. I told you. I dropped her off at home like three hours ago. What’s wrong?”
“She’s not here.”
What the fuck? “What do you mean she’s not there? Where did she go?”
“I don’t know!” Lauryn yelled at me.
“Wait. You’re just now calling me, three hours later?”
“I just got home, Landon!”
“Lauryn, you said you were on your way home!” Now I was yelling.
Lauryn’s voice quieted, “I ran into an old friend, we started talking, and well, I’m just now getting home and she’s gone. If she’s not with you, I don’t know where she is.”
“Lauryn, calm down she probably just went for a drive. We had … I don’t know what we had, but she wasn’t happy with me.”
“Landon, her room is a fucking mess—clothes everywhere, her laptop and iPod are gone. She’s not answering her cell. I think she left.”
“Left, as in back to Michigan left?”
“I don’t know, and I can’t get ahold of my parents or my brother to ask. I don’t know what to do.”
Holy shit. I freaked her out so fucking much she took off for home. How the hell did that happen. What the hell did I say that was so wrong to make her go? Hurt and ache filled my body. She couldn’t have left. She couldn’t have left me. We didn’t even talk about this. And she left?
“I’m on my way over. Keep calling your parents.”
“Okay.” Lauryn’s voice sounded if she was crying, but I didn’t have time to console her. I would see her in a few minutes.
