Safe (Conquering)

by Ryan Michele

  “Hi. Who did this?” My words were curt. There was no room for extra pleasantries.

  “I understand you’re mad, we all are. Have a seat and we can talk.”

  Anger felt as if it would burst out of my body at any second. “Are you going to tell me who did this?” My eyes glared at her.

  Maggie grabbed my arm, giving me a stern look. “Landon, stop.”

  I looked down at the ground and closed my eyes. I really didn’t want to be a fucking ass to these people. Sadie loved them. Finally getting myself to calm, I said, “I’m sorry, Sarah.”

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. I can see you really care about Sadie. Come sit. Let’s talk.” I don’t know what it was at this point, but it felt like a hell of a lot more than care. I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything quite yet.

  I followed her over to the large row of purple chairs and sat next to her. Renzo sat across from me, along with Maggie and two people I didn’t know.

  I bent my elbows on my knees and placed my hands on my head. I stared at the ground and waited for someone to talk.

  Sarah started, “Landon, I don’t believe that Sadie talked to you.”

  I cut her off. “Oh, she talked to me, just not about getting the shit beat out of her.”

  Sarah closed her eyes at my words, but continued, “Sadie’s been doing a really good job at hiding all this from us.”

  I went to say something, but I kept my mouth shut.

  “Sadie met Rob right before her daddy died. She didn’t handle his death well at all. None of us did. Rob was there for Sadie during her grieving, and I was in a state where I couldn’t function, let alone worry about anyone else.”

  Sarah’s eyes fell to the floor. “About a year into their relationship, Sadie began having accidents. I was stupid and just brushed them off.” I could see the tears forming in her eyes now. They were threatening to spill over, but I just sat there and listened.

  “She would fall or run into something or have a car accident that didn’t get reported to the police. Sadie broke it off with him shortly after the stint she spent in the hospital due to the car accident. But even after she broke it off with him, he kept coming around saying he was going to marry her. Her accidents didn’t stop. They actually got worse and worse. Slowly, I started to put two and two together, but when I was about to really confront her about him I got a call from the hospital.”

  Sarah’s eyes were fully shedding tears, and her voice was cracking as she spoke. “This time had been the worse, up until this one, that is. I tried to get her to talk to me, but she wouldn’t. Rob came to visit her in the hospital.”

  I felt the blood in my body boil at the sound of that asshole’s name.

  “I didn’t want to leave him alone with her, but she pleaded with me. So, I listened at the door. Rob threatened to kill me, Seth, and Macy.”

  “Why didn’t you go to the cops?” I asked.

  “She didn’t want to go to the cops because he is one.” Apparently there was a lot of shit I didn’t know about Sadie. I pushed that back. I gotta deal with one thing at a time here.

  So many thoughts were running through my head. I needed to prioritize here. “So Sadie moved to Georgia to get away from her abusive cop ex-boyfriend, and no one bothered to tell any of us down there?”

  “Landon, she wanted to start new and leave the past here. That’s what I wanted to give her.”

  “You were wrong.” Then the realization hit me like a tons of fucking bricks. She was yelling that it was all her fault when she busted the mirror and had her breakdown.

  “Sadie believes it’s all her fault,” I whispered.

  Maggie knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands cautiously. “Landon, it’s very typical of a woman who’s being abused to take all the guilt and blame from the abuser and put it on herself.”

  “I don’t understand,” I whispered.

  “I do. I know what it feels like to be in Sadie’s shoes. She felt as if she were protecting the ones she loved. After all, she wouldn’t want them to get hurt the way she had. She was taking that pain on.”

  I stared at Maggie because surely Jim didn’t hit her. She must have read my thoughts. “I can see you’re trying to piece this together. It was before Jim. Landon, I have to tell you that it took the love of a very strong man like Jim to help me see who I was and help me heal. It took years to feel whole again. It’s a very hard journey. I know that you just started building something with her, but you have to know what you’re getting yourself into here.”

  “I’m not leaving her,” I growled.

  “Good, I didn’t believe you would. I just wanted to lay it out there for you.”

  “Police report. Did you file a police report?”

  “Yes, they’re coming by here in a little while to take pictures of her.”

  I moaned. No way I wanted those fuckers taking pictures of her. “I want to be there when they take them,” I demanded.

  “That’s fine.” Sarah’s calmness in this whole thing was starting to piss me off.

  “Where is this asshole?” I growled.

  “The cops said he’s off the radar.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “They went to pick him up and he was gone.”

  “What kind of gone? There’s gone out for a fucking burger or left the state or country gone,” I barked.

  “Landon,” Maggie’s warning tone brought me back. I breathed in deep, really trying to get myself in check and nodded. “Gone, as in packed a bag and no one has a clue where he is gone.”

  “Fuck!” I yelled, grabbing the back of my neck. I needed to move. I got up and began pacing the floor. “So, what about his parents?”

  “They haven’t heard anything from him. And just so you know, they don’t believe their boy did this to Sadie. And if Sadie doesn’t wake up and ID him as the attacker, there will be nothing we can do.”

  “This just gets better,” I muttered.

  Waiting … Waiting … Waiting …

  The police came and took pictures of Sadie. That was a fucking experience that I would make sure Sadie never had to do again. It was so fucking horrible seeing them lift her arms, legs, and body to get the picture they needed.

  It also sucked that I got to see what was under that hospital gown. Even on TV I had never seen a human being so bruised up. That asshole did a number on her.

  I’d love to get my hands around his fucking throat!

  Sarah replayed everything she saw from her end. And of course, without Sadie’s confirmation that it was Rob, the only thing they could do was question him, but since he was gone, that wasn’t about to happen. My frustration level with everyone was paper-thin. At this point I didn’t want to talk to anyone but Sadie.

  Days were growing long. I was either sitting here in the waiting room or in with Sadie, talking to her. The doctors said that they were waiting for her to get a bit stronger before they tried to pull her out.

  Yeah … tried. There was a fucking chance they wouldn’t be able to wake her up! I wanted to tear that little piece of shit doctor limb from limb when he told me that.

  So now we waited …

  Five days. Five long days here. Sadie’s bruises were healing, but her lung was still a concern. So we waited.

  Today was the day. Seven days she’d been under. Seven days!

  The doctors told me they were going to start weaning her off the ventilator that was helping her breathe. They said it could take hours for this depending on how her body responded.

  My nerves were shot to hell. My body wouldn’t stop shaking. I just wanted her to wake up. I wanted to see life back in her eyes. I wanted to hold her while we fell asleep. I sat here waiting for her to wake up. The doctors turned the ventilator all the way down and removed that God-awful tube from her throat.

  I could hear every breath she took as I watched the monitors all around her beep and buzz. Her brainwaves were moving the way they were supposed to, or so they said, and her heart w
as pumping normally.

  We just waited …

  What in the hell is all that beeping? Is it my alarm clock?

  I tried to lift my arm to stop the sound, but it didn’t want to move. My legs didn’t want to either. My head was groggy and nothing seemed to make sense. I wasn’t feeling pain as I couldn’t feel my body—just confusion. I heard soft voices, but they were not recognizable.

  I tried to open my eyes, but there was no luck there. My fingers. I would try my fingers. Please move … please move. I felt my pointer go up and down. I smiled to myself. I continued to try my fingers. I believed they were moving.

  I hear the murmured voices coming closer to me. “Sadie, baby, time for you to wake up.”

  Landon? What? I remembered leaving Georgia, driving in the dark, the lights … panic began to fill me … Rob. I had to get away from him. NOW!

  My arms began to move and I tried desperately to push him away. I heard my moans, but words weren’t forming. I want to yell at him to get away from me. My legs were joining my arms in trying to fight Rob off me.

  “Sadie, calm down, baby. You’re safe.” I knew that was Landon’s voice, but he couldn’t be here; my mind was playing tricks on me. I was willing my eyes to open, and the panic was fully engulfing my body. My eyes felt like sandpaper scraping as I began to open them.

  The light in the room was too bright. Someone please turn the light off. I could feel my body moving all over the place, and the voices in the room were getting louder.

  I looked around the room, but everything was fuzzy. The large figure in front of me was trying to hold me down. “No,” I croak out.

  I could hear the voices, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. My body was now moving, unlike before. I had to fight him off. I had to get away from him. I started hitting and kicking, using everything in my might to get him off me.

  “Sadie! Stop!”

  My eyes started to focus on blue eyes. Landon.

  “Sadie, baby. It’s okay. Calm down.”

  He was here. He was really here. Confusion and relief washed over me, and tears freely fell from my eyes. I felt strong arms wrap around me, but these were gentle, kind, and safe. Landon. I melted into his arms and breathed him in. It really was him. My body began to settle.

  “It’s all right, baby,” Landon whispers in my ear, drawing lazy circles around my back. How could he be here? He was in Georgia. I was in Michigan. My body froze and ice ran through me sharply.

  My voice croaked out, “Rob.” I looked up at Landon. He was still as gorgeous as ever. Safe.

  “Did he do this to you?” His voice was calm, but I heard the anger in it.

  I nodded.

  “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you now.” Landon continued to rock me back and forth in his arms. My throat was on fire, and my body felt weak. Was I okay?

  “Throat,” I managed to get out. I really needed some water or something for my throat.

  “I’ll buzz the nurse.”

  I nodded and stared at the beautiful man before me.

  “Seth?” I hoarsely whispered.

  “What about Seth?”

  “Where is he?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  The flow of panic was instant. He was hurt, and I needed to get to him. “Whoa. There.” Landon’s voice tried to get through, but I thought of nothing besides getting to Seth.

  “Seth. Hurt.”

  “I haven’t seen or heard from Seth since I’ve been here.”

  “Long?” I turned and looked at Landon.

  “Yeah, baby, seven days.” I felt my eyes grow wide. Seven days? I was out for seven days? I had never been out that long.

  Things were not registering for me. Macy said Seth was hurt. If Landon had been here seven days, he should know. “Mom?”

  “She’ll be right in.”

  “Well, looky here! Hi Ms. McKenny! I’m Julie, your nurse. I’m gonna check you out and then get the doctor in here.” Her voice was way too fucking bubbly right now. I really wanted her to shut up. I nodded.

  I felt Landon walk to the other side of the bed, but continued to touch me the entire way around my body. Once on the other side, he held my hand. His touch was so warm.

  “Water,” I croaked.

  “I have to check you first and then the doctor. After that, I’ll get you some ice chips. You’ve been out for quite a while.”

  I nodded. I lay there while Nurse Julie and Doctor Baldy—I said that because he had no hair—poked and prodded me for what felt like hours. As my frustration level grew, Landon must have been able to sense it. He squeezed my hands gently, rubbed my leg, and whispered words of comfort in my ear. He kept me grounded. Safe.

  “You’re awake!” I heard my mother’s screech come from the doorway. Everyone’s eyes turned to her as she ran to the side of my bed where the doc just left.

  “Sweetheart,” she whispered and placed her body on top of mine, hugging me tightly. I gave a small whimper and she pulled back.

  “Did Rob do this to you?” Mom’s voice changed in a nanosecond.

  I nodded. I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand and watched the tears fall from my mom’s eyes. This was a different kind of pain that I wanted to protect her from, but at the moment couldn’t.

  “Where’s Seth?” My voice was still raspy as hell.

  “Iraq, last I heard. Why?”

  Shaking my head, I couldn’t process this.

  “Talk to him?”

  “Not in a while. What’s going on?”

  “Told. Seth hurt.”

  “Who told you that?” Mom stared, glaring down at me.

  “Macy.”

  “Why on Earth would she tell you Seth was hurt? So that’s why you came home?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why Macy told you that, but I haven’t heard from Seth in a while. I’ll put out an email and try to get in contact with him. Let’s not worry about it now. Let’s get you better first.”

  I nodded, but the confusion was eating at me.

  After Ms. Happy brought me some ice chips, Landon graciously fed them to me. My eyes started drooping. I did not want to go back to sleep. Hell, I’d been sleeping for seven freaking days. But my eyes had an idea of their own.

  “Tired,” I said, my croak sounding a little bit more like me.

  “Sleep, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” Landon kissed my forehead, sat back in his chair, and continued to hold my hand. Safe.

  My eyes drifted shut.

  “No …” Rob grabbed me by my hair, pulling me down to the ground.

  “No …” I finally found my voice with him and wanted to use it.

  “St-op!”

  I heard myself saying the words, but felt as if I was somewhere else.

  “Sadie, baby, wake up, you’re dreaming.” Landon’s voice pulled me out of sleep.

  I woke with a start. I looked around the room. White walls, beeping machines … hospital. Turning, I saw the man who was calling my name. I smiled at him.

  “I’m so glad to see that smile, baby,” he said while stroking the side of my face.

  “Bathroom.” My voice sounding like my own now, but my throat was still so sore.

  “Okay baby, I’ll help you.” I didn’t protest. If I didn’t get there soon, I was going to piss all over the floor.

  Landon helped me out of bed to the bathroom that was in the room. My legs were heavy and difficult to move, but somehow they made it. He helped me sit down and stood there as I went.

  I should have probably been a bit freaked about that, but at the moment, I didn’t give a shit. Landon helped me up, and I moved over to the sink.

  Looking up, I saw my face.

  My gasp was loud because I couldn’t believe my eyes. Never had I looked this bad. Never had I had this many stiches. Never.

  Above my left eye was a huge gash about two inches long, with a shit-ton of stiches throughout it. My lip and cheek were also stitc
hed up. I turned my head; my ear had several stiches on it, too. I took my hands and lightly traced all the spots on my face, which was a beautiful shade of yellow. At least it was healing.

  The eyes looking back at me were scared and haunted. I didn’t want to see them anymore. I turned away from the mirror and saw Landon staring at me. I didn’t want him to see me. I wanted to hide. I tried to brush past him, but he stopped me.

  “You’re beautiful.” I looked up into those big blue eyes, and I could see that he meant it. I didn’t know how, considering the way I looked, but he did. One by one, the tears began to flow. Landon wrapped his arms around me, and I melted into him.

  “Come baby; let’s get you back in bed.” Landon helped me back into bed, wiping my eyes. A knock at the door had both Landon and me turning to it.

  Fear—unadulterated terror—ripped through me. Cops. I grabbed on to Landon as he was my lifeline, pulling him in front of me. My entire body was shaking, and I couldn’t get it under control. I couldn’t do this anymore.

  “Ms. McKenny, I have a few questions for you,” the officer at the door said.

  “She’s not in the mood for questions,” Landon growled. Safe.

  “It can’t wait any longer. It’s been eight days, and we have to get this report going.”

  I tensed. “You called the cops,” I whispered.

  Landon turned to me. “I didn’t. Your mom did. As much as I hate this, it’s the right thing to do. We have to make a report and get this on file.”

  “I can’t Landon. He’s a cop.” I looked up at him, pleading.

  “He’s a bastard who put his hands on you. This has to stop.” I knew he didn’t understand, but I had to make him.

  “They won’t believe me Landon.”

  “Believe you or not. They have to make a report and they have to follow through with it.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that. Rob always told his buddies that I liked it rough, so that was what these guys were going to think. I didn’t want to talk to him, but Landon waved him into the room. Behind him was a woman in uniform.

  She was tall, blonde, and very pretty. My eyes were glued to her. I wanted her to talk to me. I didn’t want to talk to the guy. Her bright smile came to me. “Hi Ms. McKenny. I’m Officer Briggs, and this is my partner Officer Sams. We need to ask you a few questions.”