The Future Memoir of Ann Jones

by Alex Bailey

  “Since my dad had treated me like a princess, I figured the next step would be to move up to queendom when I married. Except Marvin had other ideas. He wanted a working wife. Wanted me to bring home the bacon and cook it up too. Except we didn’t eat bacon. We had plenty of fights over me working. And when I realized my throne had been thrown to the wolves, I gave in and found a job.

  “My throne had been thrown!” Michelle cackled hysterically. “I just crack myself up!” There were a few chuckles and grunts around the circle, but when Freda cleared her throat for the third time, the group silenced.

  Michelle continued, “My college degree was in marketing, and I landed a quite lucrative position with a famous diaper company—Babyskins. Maybe you remember my slogan Put Babyskins next to your baby’s skin?” She searched the group but no one acknowledged they remembered her slogan. She picked up Tijuana Charley, who was staring at her, and placed him in her lap before continuing, “Well, anyway, it was a huge success and I was promoted almost overnight. I travelled around the country meeting with the distributors and making promo ads and I was really loving the job.

  “Marvin, on the other hand, was doing so-so in his business ventures. He seemed to get into and out of one thing after another. I could hardly keep up with what he was doing.

  “We rarely saw each other during those early years. Which was fine by me, because I was working hard and the promotions kept coming. Until I got pregnant. Ironically, Babyskins wasn’t exactly family-friendly. And I wasn’t raised to think women should work when they had a child. I quit when I had Maluhia. And then I had another baby, Marvin, Jr., we called him MJ. Marvin wasn’t doing so well in the salary department at that time, so he insisted I return to work only three months into my son’s life.

  “Babyskins had changed hands by that time and the previous management had all been let go. There was no one left at the company who knew me or my reputation, so I had to hit the streets.

  “I must admit, I didn’t try very hard. Just between you and me, I didn’t really want to go back to work. But since Marvin was the head of the household, his word was law. And I suppose his business failures weren’t the only reason he wanted me back to work. I began suspecting he was gambling our money away.

  “I’d find receipts from Atlantic City casinos, but never saw any evidence of winnings. I confronted him once but he denied everything. Said I was watching too many soap operas and I needed to find a job because I had too much free time on my hands.

  “He made me so mad after that, I was determined to find a well-paying job, and deposit the money into a separate account and only give him the money for the bills. If he gambled it away, then I’d know when they cut off our electricity.

  “I contacted one of the former executives at Babyskins and she brought me into her new firm—Diaper Duos, they were organic cotton diapers with covers to go over the cloth diapers. I worked hard and long hours. And then, I’d come home to two young children.

  “Marvin used the money I deposited into our account to pay the bills and if he was gambling with the money he made, well, I never knew it. I suppose he was smart enough to pay the bills first and use the left-over funds to fuel his addiction.

  “At that point, we were getting older and when Marvin and I hit thirty, we plumped up. When that happened, Marvin’s health began to deteriorate. I don’t know if it was due to his business failures or his genetics, all of our parents were quite plump themselves. Marvin started snoring in his sleep.

  “He would toss and turn all night. I’d hit him to roll over when he was snoring in my face, but it didn’t help much. His snoring got worse and worse. I became so sleep deprived that when I’d wake up in the morning, I didn’t know what day it was. I was falling down on the job. Missing deadlines. Saying strange things to people that I didn’t remember later. Once, I told my boss to have a nice lay.

  “One day, I was in a deep sleepy fog and I was sent home before lunch from work because my head had fallen smack on the conference table during a meeting about increasing the amount of poop the diaper could hold. Can you imagine? My boss had to tap me on my shoulder. That didn’t even work. So, she got one of those paper cups from the water cooler we’d nicknamed the Tundra, filled it with water and threw it on my head. That water was icy! Well, I woke up alright!

  “I was embarrassed, exhausted, hungry and furious all at once. My boss sent me home and told me not to come back until I could stay awake in a meeting. When I got home, I walked in to find Marvin sitting on the sofa watching TV. I was outraged. How dare he make me get a job so he could just lounge around all day! I went over to the sofa to have it out with him, but when I got closer, it became apparent he was asleep.

  “I was elated; because I thought I could have the bed all to myself and finally get some much-needed rest. My stomach was growling, so I went into the kitchen to make something to eat, but I couldn’t stay awake long enough to make anything. Instead, I decided to take advantage of the snore-free bed. I slept the entire rest of the day and that night. I didn’t wake until the next morning and only then because a police officer was shaking me. I jolted upright out of an intense dream and asked what was wrong. He explained our children hadn’t been picked up the previous evening from the babysitter. The babysitter had fallen asleep waiting for us. When she awoke the next morning, she called the police and explained the situation when she couldn’t reach us by phone. Apparently, Marvin had accidentally left the phone off the hook.

  “The officer said they knocked but when no one answered, they busted in the door. The thing was, because of Marvin’s snoring, I always wore ear plugs. Just as a habit. I’d put them in the day before and never heard the officer knocking. I don’t wear those earplugs anymore. Thank goodness, I don’t have a reason to wear them.

  “Anyway, they found Marvin dead on the sofa and me asleep in bed. They said it had been gas poisoning. And because I had the bedroom door closed and the window open, it hadn’t affected me. The door to the oven had been left open and the pilot’s light was out.

  “The thing was, I felt great that day. I’d gotten plenty of sleep and was totally refreshed. I’ve slept well ever since. No more sleep deprivation for me.

  “Then the kids and I moved here shortly after Marvin’s death. The kids grew up and moved far far away. They’re both in Florida now with their families. But they come up during the summer and spend time here where it’s nice and temperate.”

  “Okay, that’s a wrap!” Freda announced as she stood up and gave the exit signal, ending yet another story of a woman who had lost her husband, making the running total, Knitting Club: 6, husbands: 0.

  Chapter 19

  Ann started early Saturday morning making and wrapping her cookies for the week. She hadn’t seen much of Daniel and wondered if she should leave the tavern door unlocked when she left. When her cell phone rang, she recognized the number and immediately answered it, “Gloria! Hi, everything okay?”

  “Splendid, everything’s splendid. I wondered if you’d be up for a look out?”

  “Look out?”

  “Sorry. It’s what you Americans call going out, I suppose.”

  Ann had never heard it called that before, but then again, she’d never had a British friend before either. “Oh, sure! Just finished the cookies and I’m cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, but I’m up for anything, what do you want to do?”

  “Are you hungry? Why don’t you just stick there and I’ll swing by and we can have a bite to eat. There’s something I rather wanted to chat about with you.”

  Ann was hoping Gloria would have suggested somewhere else, it seemed as though between her and Ben, she was eating all her meals at the tavern. But she liked the food, the atmosphere, and Daniel, so she agreed.

  Ann hung around the kitchen. When Daniel arrived, she stood aside and kept herself amused by telling him more than he probably cared to hear when he asked, “So, Ann Jones, what’s your story.”

  Daniel got two ears full. “And then
I moved out here. And that’s the end of the story.”

  “No, my friend,” Daniel said, “that’s just the beginning of your story. I see big things ahead for you.”

  Ann smiled for two reasons. One, Daniel had called her a friend. She was quite pleased he thought of her as such. And second, he thought her business was going to make it.

  “So, Daniel Zokaya, what’s your story?” She realized that all the time she’d spent with him, he’d never really revealed much about himself.

  As he flew around the kitchen grabbing, stirring, and chopping, he told his story. Very succinctly. “Lived here all my life, except when I went to culinary art school in New York and Italy for my internship. Mom died when I was young. Just me and the old man after that. After my time in Poppi, came back here and took over the tavern when Dad retired. Ben helped me fix it up. Not much to say.”

  “Wow, that’s really sad,” Ann said.

  “What’s sad?”

  “That your mom died and your dad had to raise you alone,” Ann looked curiously at him as if he should know what was sad about that story.

  “See, that’s why I really don’t like to talk about my life. Everyone thinks it’s such a horrible tragedy, my mom dying. But here’s the thing. I never knew her. I can’t miss what I didn’t have. And if Dad ever missed her, he sure as hell didn’t share that with me. He was a great dad. I’ve had a great life. So, can we just skip it?” He glanced up at Ann with a look that told her to move on.

  “Sure. So, um…how about Gloria, where did she come into the story?” If he didn’t want to talk about himself, then she’d pry about Gloria.

  Daniel continued his harried pace. “She moved here about ten years ago or so.”

  “And?”

  “Ann, what do you want me to say?” Daniel glanced up momentarily, then back to his task of making spring rolls.

  “I don’t know,” Ann said with a sly grin, “I was hoping you’d tell me some juicy story about my friend, something like you were madly in love with her or something.”

  Daniel promptly stopped, wiped his hands on his apron, and faced her. He said very matter-of-factly, “Were you now? Well then, I’m madly in love with your British friend. There. Enough said.”

  Ann felt like she’d been smacked in the face. She didn’t know how to respond to such a blunt remark, and thankfully she didn’t have to.

  “Good day, you two. What’s for lunch? I’m ravenous!” Gloria’s big toothy grin nor her fluorescent green suit could take Ann’s mind off of what had just transpired.

  Daniel went back to cooking and said, “If this one,” he glanced toward Ann, “would leave me alone, I was attempting to make butternut squash spring rolls. Now scoot, both of you. I’ll be out when I’m ready.”

  Gloria shot Ann a questioning look.

  Ann didn’t know if Daniel had been trying to get her off his back, or if he truly was in love with Gloria. But as much as she’d like for Gloria to be happy with Daniel, she knew it was really none of her business. Though that never seemed to stop her from meddling in someone’s life.

  “Shall we have a seat?” Gloria finally said.

  “We shall,” Ann mocked her accent.

  Gloria smiled, “You know Ann, I can fake an American accent far better than you will ever be able to fake a proper English accent. I’d tread lightly if I were you.”

  They sat in a booth toward the back of the room, and Ann said, “Is that so?” she kept her horrible accent going. “Pip, pip, cheerio and all that rot!”

  Gloria countered in a deep Southern drawl, “Baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and Chevrolet!”

  Ann laughed so hard she snorted, which caused Gloria to howl.

  “Okay, you wee-in,” Ann said. “You want me to go in the back and get us some drinks, since Daniel seems to be quite occupied?”

  Looking over Ann’s shoulder, Gloria said, “Not necessary. I see the brave chap approaching now. Looks like he might even be ready to take our order.”

  Ann turned just in time to see Daniel with his pad and pencil. “Okay ladies, what’ll it be?”

  “Daniel, what’s this spring roll gizmo you’re cooking up?” Gloria’s face radiated while looking into the chef’s gaze. It was obvious she cared for him. Gloria’s whole being lit up when he was around.

  “It’s sort of a take on a California spring roll, except I had this gorgeous squash and thought I might just substitute the avocado with squash and see how we do. I haven’t tested them yet, it’s all experimental at this point.”

  “Isn’t it all?” Gloria asked.

  “You got it.”

  “I’ll try it,” Ann said.

  Daniel wrote on his pad, without glancing at Ann.

  “I’ll give it a go,” Gloria said.

  “And what’ll you ladies have to drink?”

  “Coffee, lots of it,” Ann begged.

  “I’d like to have a pint, thanks,” Gloria said.

  When Daniel rushed off, Ann asked, “So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

  “I had heard some chatter. About you and Ben? Is it true?” Gloria was suddenly being very direct, none of her usual proper British manners.

  “Whoa, where did you hear this?” Ann wasn’t trying to keep anything a secret; she was just stunned anyone cared enough about her relationship with Ben to have mentioned it to Gloria.

  Gloria nodded toward the kitchen. “You do realize they’re best mates, don’t you?”

  Yes, Ann knew that Ben and Daniel were friends, she just wasn’t aware that men sat around talking about their relationships, especially after the Reader’s Digest version Ann had just gotten from Daniel about his life’s story.

  “Oh well, then. Yes, things have changed slightly.” She cringed.

  “What’s wrong with your face?” Gloria shook her head.

  “Nothing, it’s just I didn’t know it was out on the streets just yet. I thought we were keeping it on the DL for now.”

  “DL?”

  “Down low. Under rap. Tight lipped.” Ann watched Gloria’s face for a sign of understanding.

  “You mean it’s a secret?”

  “Not really. I just didn’t know that…Oh never mind. Anyway, yes, Ben and I are an item,” Ann blurted out.

  Gloria’s face slowly transformed into a huge grin. “Well, good for you. That’s marvelous! We should celebrate.”

  “Wait! There’s not really anything to celebrate, Gloria. We’re just at the beginning stages of dating. It’s not like we’re engaged or anything.”

  Gloria’s eyes widened. Her mouth opened, but took a few seconds before she shot out, “Oh no, Ann, you mustn’t. You can’t. You simply cannot!”

  “Cannot what?”

  Gloria quickly wiped the look of fear off her face, “What I mean is, it’s wonderful you’re in a new relationship. Ben is a dear man. I do so like him very much. And if you get on with him quite well, then by all means, it is proper for you to date.”

  Ann wondered what Gloria really meant. She was not convinced that Gloria’s explanation was truly what she’d been thinking. But she couldn’t figure out what it was.

  “What is it, Gloria?” Ann reached across the table and patted Gloria’s hand.

  But the moment was interrupted. “Here you go, ladies.” Daniel set their drinks in front of them and Ann withdrew her hand.

  “Thanks, Love,” Gloria said.

  “Thanks.” Ann forced a smile at the chef, then recognized a familiar head of burgundy hair in the restaurant.

  Daniel dashed off to the kitchen and Gloria took a long swig of her beer. She followed Ann’s gaze over her shoulder and turned around to see what Ann was staring at. Sitting in a booth across the room, was Jasmine and a dark-haired man whose back was turned to them. When Jasmine waved, Gloria and Ann waved back.

  Jasmine scooted over to their table and slid in next to Ann. “Isn’t he dreamy?”

  “Who is he?” Gloria asked.

  “Yeah, dish, Jas,” Ann
said.

  “Well, we met a few months ago and we’ve been dating, for I’d say about a month and a half.”

  “Who is he?” Gloria asked again.

  “That guy over there,” Jasmine said, pointing to the back of the man’s head she’d just been sitting with.

  “We know that, silly. But who is he?” Ann repeated. “What’s his name? How’d you meet?”

  “His name’s Felix. He’s from Mexico and he comes up here on business several times a month. He stops in to see me. We first met at Dixie’s bar. You know where Dixie’s is, don’t you?”

  “Sure,” Gloria answered, as Ann shook her head no.

  “Well, it’s in Yorkchestershiretown.”

  “What was he doing at Dixie’s?” Gloria grilled.

  Jasmine shook her head as if she didn’t understand the question. “Having a drink, just like everyone else in the bar.”

  “I think what Gloria means is,” Ann explained, “why was he in Yorkchestershiretown?”

  “He was passing through on business.”

  “What kind of business brings him to Yorkchestershiretown, a town of 347 people?” Gloria asked in an accusatory tone.

  Jasmine waved off her question. “Don’t know. He said he doesn’t like to talk about his business life. Likes to forget about it. Maybe he works with Homeland Security or the CIA or something and he’s not allowed to talk about it.”

  “More like the DEA,” Gloria scoffed under her breath.

  “So,” Ann said, “how serious are you about him?”

  “I like him. A lot. He’s asked me to go back to Mexico with him on his next trip up here.”

  Gloria’s eyes were unblinking for a long moment. “For how long does he expect you to be gone to Mexico with him?”

  “Yeah, what about your son?” Ann asked.

  “Ralph will stay with his grandmother and aunts. They’re only two hours away. They love spending time with him. Not a problem.”