‘Were you jilted at your wedding mandap or something?’
He almost flinched at her throwaway remark but, before she could hold on to the thought, he snapped back, ‘You’re giving me a crick in my neck. Why don’t you stop hovering and sit down?’
‘Well, you have made it more than obvious you want to be left alone—’ she bristled ‘—I’ll leave you to bask in splendid isolation.’
Before she could turn away, he got up in one athletic move and caught her arm. ‘Stop being so prickly and relax.’
She looked at him, a challenge in her eyes. ‘OK. On one condition. If you tell me what exactly happened between you, Karisma and Sid.’
He groaned as if she was putting him through Chinese torture. ‘All that happened was I gave them a piece of my mind and that was the end of the matter.’
‘And what about the story that Aziz sent out to the gossip mag?’
He took a swig of beer and swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. ‘Killed! The editor has confirmed it.’
Now, that was a huge relief! The unsavoury prospect of finding her pictures splashed in the papers along with a sleazy write-up had been like a nagging headache that refused to go away. She wondered how he’d ‘killed’ the story and wished he would be a little more forthcoming with the details.
‘Don’t worry about Aziz and Karisma. It’s all been sorted and I have read them the riot act. As for your ex…I don’t even want to go there.’
She didn’t miss his sarcasm but curiosity got the better of her. ‘Did Sid say something?’
Neel’s snort of laughter left her in no doubt of his impression of Sid. ‘He was quieter than a mouse. What the hell did you see in that good-for-nothing idiot in the first place?’
A valid enough question, which had been bothering her more and more during the past few days. But did he have to rub it in her face? ‘I’ll remember to consult with you the next time I get into a relationship.’
‘I wish! It would save us both a lot of bother.’
She simmered at the sheer arrogance of his reply—as if she had willed herself into a bad relationship with Sid. ‘Oh, really? Are you some kind of a love guru? No, wait. You’re one of those who would rather not commit to a woman in the first place, just in case something goes wrong.’
He shot her a withering look and scooped up his shirt. The tension stretched between them like a wire pulled to breaking point. He put it on with such force she feared the fabric would rip. His voice, though, didn’t have a shred of emotion in it. ‘You’re right about that…I should know better than to point fingers at you.’ Honestly speaking, she was the idiot for not having seen through Sid and his games and lashing out at Neel was not going to change that. Taking a deep breath, she murmured softly, ‘My relationship with Sid was going nowhere but I was in denial. And when he texted me that it was over between us I—’
‘He did what?’
She swallowed her pride and confessed she had been treated like a soiled napkin by Sid. She needed to say it—if only to get it off her chest. Maybe this was the only way to close that chapter of her life once and for all.
‘We’d been dating on and off for just under a year and for the past couple of months he’d kept badgering me to move in with him. He’d begun to wear me down with his insistence.’ She took a deep breath and continued. ‘I was all ready to make the commitment and planned to tell him about my decision soon after Milee’s wedding. Well, things didn’t quite work out that way. The next thing I knew, he had texted me to say it was all over between us. No phone call, no conversation, no nothing. One stupid message and kaput!’
Instead of the anger she expected to come roaring back, she felt a sense of release. As if by admitting the truth to Neel she had finally purged herself of Sid’s toxic effect on her self-esteem. Relief surged through her. It was truly over and she was free—as if a dead weight had been lifted off her.
‘Gutless bastard!’ Neel muttered under his breath.
‘It’s all water under the bridge and, if you don’t mind, I would rather not talk about Sid any more,’ she said breezily.
‘Ditto!’ he echoed emphatically.
A gust of sea breeze enveloped them, wrapping the folds of her lehnga around his legs. She laughed a bit self-consciously as she tried to retain control over the silky fabric and he grinned at her.
‘Seems like it’s going to rain,’ she said, beating back the sudden shyness that overcame her.
He shrugged. ‘Maybe. Maybe not. If you wish, we can go back indoors.’
She knew she should grab that offer and make a run for it—instead, she wanted to celebrate her freedom. Here, under the star-spangled sky. But how wise was it to let her defences down in front of Neel? She really didn’t need to jump from the frying pan straight into the fire, did she? If she had any sense she would be scurrying back inside and bolting the door to her bedroom against Neel—and her heart too!
‘No, let’s stay out for a while. It’s so wonderful out here,’ she heard herself say. Rayna Dutt, you are such a stupid, stupid, girl!
‘When I first came to the island, I couldn’t have enough of it,’ Neel said as they strolled on the beach. ‘The thing I love most is taking the speedboat out for a spin—riding the sea on a full moon’s night with the stars shining down.’
‘Wow. But I don’t think I could do it ever.’
‘Are you scared it will trigger another panic attack?’ Neel watched her intently as she smiled uncertainly.
He caught her hand and carried it to his chest. ‘Don’t let your fear get the better of you, Rayna.’
She looked up into his eyes and could feel his heart thud strongly against her palm. She felt safe with him but she was not so sure of herself.
Uncertainty flickered in her large eyes.
‘Do you trust me?’ he asked.
Her response was instantaneous. ‘Yes.’
‘Then come with me… I promise you won’t regret it.’
And she believed him. She didn’t know why. Nor did she care to. She just knew he was right.
‘OK,’ she whispered.
‘That’s my girl,’ he said, carrying her hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss into her palm. She was all jelly-kneed under the onslaught of his attention.
As they neared the boarding point at the pier she nearly lost her nerve at the sight of the speedboat.
In a flash Neel scooped her up in his arms and walked down the wooden ramp that reached out into the sea till they reached the anchored speedboat that was bobbing gently on the water.
She put her arms around his neck and looked up. The warm, spicy scent of his aftershave enveloped her and she couldn’t take her eyes off his stubble-roughened face. Her heart jerked wildly—was she reacting to being up close and personal with him or was it fear pumping through her bloodstream?
He set her down and helped her into the boat. She clung to his outstretched arm nervously, but the magic of the night, the wind whipping her hair and Neel’s silent encouragement eased her fears.
‘We will cruise around for a bit and if at any point you feel uncomfortable just holler. OK?’
She nodded as he settled her into a cosy nook and prepared to steer the speedboat away into the sea.
Streaks of silver moonlight danced on the waters as they sped away from the shore. Nothing mattered except the rush of water against the boat, the salt-tinged breeze on her face and the stars shining down. They cruised around for a while before Neel put the engine on neutral. The serenity of the night—with only the sound of the ocean—embraced them. It was as if they were the only two human beings on the planet. She gazed up at the stars and murmured, ‘This is truly magical.’
‘The vastness of it all makes your worries and fears appear totally meaningless, doesn’t it?’ He paused for a beat before adding, ‘I was running away from a lot of things… It was here that I found myself. Found the sanity to carry on and do what I needed to do.’
The catch in his voice told
her he was still haunted by his past and she wondered what could have been so terrible to be affecting him like this years later. ‘I can’t imagine you hiding from anything.’
He laughed self-mockingly. ‘Been there. Done that. And you know the worst part? There is no place to run—and in your heart you always know it.’ Yet he had been unable to stop. Because stopping would mean acknowledging the pain, the shame, the guilt. Stopping would mean admitting that the blame lay with him. Realising he had been stupid to give his trust so easily to those who weren’t worthy of it; realising he was powerless to go back and fix the things that had gone so horribly wrong for those he genuinely cared about. Despite all the realisations, he couldn’t change a thing. The past was unforgiving and it would tinge his future for ever.
She could tell a window into his soul had cracked open. There was something about sitting here with nothing but the sky spread above and the sea all around that made you want to cleanse your heart and let the sorrows wash away into nothingness. The whys and the hows of past hurt didn’t matter—what did was that they were purged.
‘They say: face your fears and be rid of them.’ His lips curved in a soft smile. ‘Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you it’s the hardest thing to do. And yet you didn’t hesitate to face your fear, to challenge it head-on.’
She laughed self-consciously. ‘Left to myself, I would be a thousand miles away.’
‘And I would have chased you. There’s no way you could have missed all this…’ A thrill of pleasure ran through her as his fingers traced the curve of her cheek. ‘But I’m glad you are here with me…though I must confess I had an ulterior motive for bringing you here.’
‘Really?’ she whispered as the passion flared in his eyes. ‘And what would that be?’
She got her answer when his lips possessed hers. Every thought fled from her mind and she melted into the heaven of his arms under the twinkling canopy.
Milee’s Big Day dawned bright and clear. The fusion beach wedding was scheduled for the morning and the resort staff had been up well before daybreak to get everything ready. Neel surveyed the arrangements—the pictures that the wedding planner had shown him of the wedding mandap had come to life on the beach. The bright orchid blossoms on every table provided a splash of colour to the elegant white-and-gold upholstery all around. The mandap was decked with strings of ochre marigold. The rich red silk covering the canopy—to protect the bride and groom as well as the guests from the elements—fell to the plush gold-and-white carpeted platform in soft folds and was tied back with gold strings. The furnishings provided a regal touch—complete with intricate Rajasthani motifs. Flowers spilled abundantly from decorative terracotta urns placed near the mandap.
Satisfied, Neel turned to Shiva and said, ‘It’s perfect. Well done, Shiva!’
Shiva brushed off the compliment with a shrug. ‘Let’s hope the weather holds up.’
Neel’s smile widened. ‘I’m sure you have a Plan B just in case something goes wrong. You know it doesn’t usually rain this time of the year. So stop being such a worrywart, will you?’
‘Man proposes, the guy upstairs disposes.’ Shiva grinned back, pointing up to the sky. ‘Until the event is over, I don’t want to say anything that He might take offence to.’
Neel’s throaty laugh caused Shiva to look at him with surprise. This was the first time in years he had seen his young boss so relaxed. As far as he was concerned, Neel worked too hard and, despite his calm and confident manner, Shiva knew it hadn’t been easy for him.
‘Right. Got to check on Chris and see how he’s holding up. By the way, Vijay Tandon needs to get to Havelock to meet up with an important business client. So get somebody to fly him down, please,’ Neel instructed.
Shiva went off to make the arrangements for Tandon, the media mogul who had already made a couple of sorties in and around the islands. Neel was happy things were going smoothly. He was surprised at his own upbeat mood. Frankly, he hadn’t felt so alive in a long time. After years of holding back, keeping himself under rigid control, denying his emotions, something inside him had changed. Rayna had swept away all the barriers he had built around himself. She could turn those thick-lashed eyes on him and singe his soul. She made him only too conscious of the ache of loneliness in his heart. All these years, he had relished and guarded the barrenness in his soul. He had found solace in the emptiness. Not any more.
As he walked towards Chris’s villa, his eyes fell on Rayna—she looked stunning in her maid of honour gown that showed off her perfectly bronzed shoulders and slender neck. Her hair was pinned up in a soft rumpled retro hairdo at the nape of her neck. Long earrings dangled at her lobes. She took his breath away and his libido was up and zooming as he imagined all the things that he would like to do to her right here and now. For a fleeting moment he wished he was the one tying the knot with Rayna today. The thought made him freeze in his tracks.
Rayna was lost in thought as she hurried down the pathway towards Milee’s villa. Neel and she had spent half the night out on the beach. They had talked about everything under the sun—no, under the stars!—and it was like nothing she’d ever shared with any other person. But now, in the clear light of day, she realised she had waded in too deep and was in danger of being swept away by a vortex of emotions.
She spotted Sid walking down the path towards her, dragging a stroller suitcase behind him. He looked like thunder.
‘Hi, Sid! Leaving already?’ she asked sarcastically.
‘Yes, I’ve had enough of this place,’ he said grumpily. ‘Not my style. Too isolated.’
‘Really? I thought it would have been perfect for you and the love of your life.’
Just for a fleeting moment he had the decency to look shamefaced. ‘Look, I meant to say this before, but…well…we had outgrown our relationship and it was best if—’
‘Stop.’ Rayna raised her hand. ‘Stop right there, Sid. I have no intention of discussing this with you, now or in the future.’
‘Oh, of course, now that you have a fiancé and a rock on your finger… By the way, were you two-timing me all this while?’
‘Why should it matter to you? That’s what you like, don’t you? Easy come, easy go. So—me one day, Karisma the next! Two can play the same game, Sid. Or does that hurt your ego?’
Sid was gobsmacked and she felt a thrill of pleasure at having had her say. But he recovered soon enough. ‘As far as I remember, you were the one who didn’t want to commit to a relationship. And yet, days after our break-up, you have a ring on your finger?’
‘“It’s over”! That was what you said in your text message, right? No discussion. Only a declaration.’ She waved her ring in his face. ‘I don’t owe you any explanations either. So just get over it.’
The irony of the situation was not lost on her. Yet she was a bit sorry for Sid, who seemed totally unprepared for her attack. ‘Sid, I don’t think we were meant to be together. And there’s no point in doing a postmortem now.’
‘Wow, you seem to have matured overnight. Wonder if that’s what happens when you meet a super-rich guy? Does it become easier to make a commitment? I didn’t realise you were such a money-grabbing—’
‘Sid!’ Rayna clenched her fists as she controlled the urge to slap his smug face. ‘Instead of hurling insults at me, why don’t you reflect on your own behaviour? Don’t you get it? I didn’t trust you enough to commit to a relationship with you. That’s the bottom line. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Milee is waiting for me.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE BEACH WEDDING added a special lustre to the ceremony, which was a fusion of Hindu and Western customs. It was a sensory feast of sorts. After exchanging fragrant floral garlands—jaymalas—Chris and Milee took the saat pheras or seven steps around the holy fire as a pundit chanted auspicious mantras. To round off the multicultural ceremony, the bride and groom exchanged rings and personal vows they had specially written for the occasion. The women swooned at Chris’s flair for poetr
y while Mi lee’s eyes shimmered with tears of joy and love. The bridesmaids, all attired in Western-style gowns of cream-coloured chiffon laced with a dash of gold and purple handcrafted Indian embroidery, burst into loud applause, screaming, ‘…And now you may kiss the bride.’ Chris acted upon the demand with great gusto, leading to hoots, shouts and ribald comments.
After the rituals came the feasting and raising of toasts to the young couple. As friends and family members shared bittersweet anecdotes, the smartly dressed waiters piled their plates with delicately spiced canapés and filled their glasses with champagne. The lunch spread featured a wide array of mouth-watering Indian and European gastronomical delights to gladden the heart of the fussiest of gourmets.
Neel felt like a misfit at the celebrations. The occasion stirred nothing but deep restlessness in him. His eyes strayed towards Rayna—yet again. She was resplendent in her chiffon gown and jealousy stabbed him in the gut as she threw her head back and laughed at some innocuous comment made by the good-looking man seated next to her. Inhaling sharply, he pulled his gaze away.
She was an extremely attractive woman and it wasn’t surprising that he had been drawn to her from the moment he’d met her. None of the other women he had known intimately had messed with his feelings like she did. The metaphorical steel armour he wore to protect himself was enough to keep them at bay. Rayna had slipped past his defences. Behind the glamorous persona she presented there was a lost little girl who had still not conquered her insecurities. She was an intriguing mix of strength and vulnerability, sophistication and honesty. Last night, they had shared an intimacy that went beyond hot kisses and sensational sex. They had shared something that touched his soul. He wondered yet again what it would feel like if this feast was being held to celebrate his marriage to Rayna.
A jolt of shock ran through him. All these toasts about finding eternal love were definitely addling his brain. True, this was the closest he’d ever come to sharing his deepest secrets with anyone—but this was not love! He didn’t do love! The only time he had risked it, he had been scarred for ever.
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