Trouble Has a New Name

by Adite Banerjie

  Milee gasped, ‘Oh, Chris, it’s so beautiful!’

  Neel’s attention was drawn to the digital display of a jewellery piece on the huge screen behind Rayna and his breath caught.

  ‘Now, for the pièce de résistance of the collection. Blue Nirvana. With this ring I have tried to capture the exquisite beauty of the Andaman Islands.’ Rayna’s voice was soft as she remembered the night she had gone cruising with Neel in the speedboat. ‘Nothing prepares you for the visual feast of a sky strewn with glittering stars. Or the rainbow colours of the coral reefs. Or the magical serenity of the place. This ring is my tribute to the islands and—’

  Rayna didn’t know what had come over her as she almost declared her undying love for Neel in front of an audience. It was strange but ever since she’d stepped onto the podium she had felt his presence. Maybe it was the ring that she was still clutching in her palm. She was getting delusional—she even thought she had spied Neel at one of the tables.

  ‘—to one special person who helped me discover myself.’

  It was true that the beauty of the island had given her the creative spark she needed but it was because of Neel that she had come to terms with her fears and moved beyond them. She knew for certain that she would never have another panic attack again as she had found the inner strength to deal with any situation.

  It was this realisation that had made it possible for her to pick up the phone and reconnect with Robi Da and Sudha Bhabhi. She even found the courage to talk to them about Neel and was deeply grateful to Agra Aunty for easing their concerns about her short-lived ‘engagement.’ Today they were all here to celebrate her achievement. She glanced their way—Sudha Bhabhi and Robi Da looked immensely proud of her. Agra Aunty, who was all decked up like a Christmas tree, was busy scanning the guests around her, probably trying to do some celebrity-spotting. The thought instantly brought a smile to her lips.

  Neha, the auctioneer for the evening, invited the guests to bid for the ring. Soon, a bidding war of sorts was taking place and Rayna watched, stunned, as two guests fought for ownership of the Blue Nirvana.

  ‘Going, going, gone. Sold for thirty-five lakh rupees!’

  Thunderous applause welcomed Neha’s jubilant announcement as she banged the gavel down on the table.

  Rayna glanced across the hall, wondering who had bought her most treasured piece. Though she was happy the money from the sale would go to a school for underprivileged girls, she was also sorry to give up the ring that was so bound up with her memories and love for Neel. Perhaps this was how it was meant to be. A fitting finalé to something that was ephemeral and beautiful—it was time to let go.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  RAYNA WALKED INTO the hotel’s coffee shop, wondering where her anonymous benefactor was. She baulked at the thought of making polite conversation. Now that the event was wrapped up and her adrenaline level had plummeted, all she wanted was to get back home and crash into bed. But that wasn’t going to happen yet. Neha had informed her that the man who had put up the winning bid for the Blue Nirvana was keen to meet her before she left the venue. It seemed a bit churlish to refuse. She only hoped that she didn’t drop off to sleep mid-sentence—perhaps a double-shot espresso would do the trick.

  She spotted a lone figure at a corner table flush against the large plate glass window that looked out to the ocean front. His face was in the shadows but those broad shoulders, the lock of hair falling rebelliously on the forehead and fingers drumming an impatient beat on the table… She would recognise him anywhere. Impossible! Her sleep-deprived brain was playing tricks on her. Her heart had begun a familiar tattoo and her feet could not help but keep pace. She only just stopped herself from running towards the man who had been on her mind not just in her waking moments but even in her dreams.

  ‘Neel!’ she breathed in a whisper. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘Congratulations, Rayna! That was a spectacular show.’

  ‘I don’t understand. You never wanted to see me again!’ And then after a beat as realisation hit her, ‘You bought the Blue Nirvana?’

  ‘Guilty as charged.’ He angled his head to one side and gave her a smile that made her swoon on her five-inch stilettos.

  She wanted to slap his smug face. And she wanted to throw herself into his arms. She struggled to rein in her confusion.

  ‘It’s been a really long day so I’m sorry if I don’t exactly get why you would want to pay that kind of money for a piece of jewellery.’

  ‘It’s more than a piece of jewellery, Rayna. It’s about us,’ he said quietly.

  ‘Us?’ she nearly shrieked. ‘There never was an us. It was me having a fling with you. And you… I don’t even know what you were up to…and then it was “goodbye.” Just like that—over and out!’

  She noticed that he flinched at her words and felt a wicked sense of satisfaction. So, he wasn’t immune to her after all. Maybe she had meant something to him—more than just a good time in bed! But that couldn’t be—if she did mean anything to him, he would have made some effort to reach out to her before now. Like she had. Returning the ring was only a lame-duck excuse that she had drummed up to mask her own pathetic need to contact him—and he’d ignored her!

  ‘I called you months ago, Neel…left my number with Shiva. But you never bothered to call back. And now, out of the blue, here you are. Well, I don’t need your charity. You can keep your money and…oh, yes…there’s something else that I have to return to you.’

  The sheer force of her emotions made her fingers shake as she searched for the dratted ring in her purse. Touchstone? Hah! She couldn’t get rid of it fast enough. ‘Here you are. I’m not in the habit of accepting expensive gifts, thank you very much.’

  She thrust the ring into his palm. But his hand closed over hers and wouldn’t let go.

  ‘Are you done?’ There was not a shred of emotion in his voice and Rayna seethed as she tried to disengage her hand from his warm grip.

  His hand slid up her arm and her skin tingled as he pulled her towards him, slamming her against his muscular chest. ‘I’m here because I can’t stay away from you any more, Rayna. Will you listen to what I have to say? Please!’

  His eyes were ablaze in his rock-hard face and an answering spark lit deep within her. Her legs were trembling with reaction and she leaned against him momentarily before she collapsed onto the seat.

  ‘In the past four months I have been to hell and back.’ Neel ran his fingers through his hair and Rayna’s heart lurched at the familiar gesture. For the first time she noticed the haunted look in his eyes. The shadows under them made his cheekbones appear even more chiselled.

  He shook his head. ‘No, I’m not looking for sympathy, Rayna. I owe you an apology. That too won’t be enough.’

  He gazed deep into her eyes and her heart melted at the regret she saw in them.

  ‘On that last day on the island, I found out that Meera was going through one of her worst attacks in years. She suffers from dysthymia, a behavioural disorder that can turn a perfectly docile person into a raging psychotic. I should have been there for her. But I wasn’t. Like so many other times, I was unavailable when she needed me most. I was scared, Rayna. Scared about what this would do to us.’

  Reaching across the table, he touched her cheek lightly, wishing he could erase the hurt that he knew he’d caused her.

  Rayna’s voice trembled ever so slightly. ‘Did you think I wouldn’t understand that your sister needed you?’

  His fingers grasped hers and squeezed. ‘No, I was scared of letting you down…just as I had every other person who I have cared for.’

  ‘No, Neel…that’s not the real reason.’ She shook her head vehemently. ‘You were afraid to trust me. It’s as simple as that.’

  ‘Rayna—’ He struggled to articulate his emotions.

  ‘Unlike me,’ Rayna continued. ‘The idiot who trusted you. Implicitly.’

  She looked at him—her soul in her eyes. His heart soared. She ha
d thrown him a lifeline. Maybe there was still some hope for him? But the very next instant it dived into the pit of his stomach. Maybe not—how could she ever forgive him for what she thought was his lack of trust in her?

  ‘I would trust you with my life, sweetheart. It was me I didn’t trust. Whoever I have loved, I have failed them. And I didn’t want to fail you.’

  Her eyes were wide and questioning. ‘But how do you—’ She stopped, confused. Did he just say he loves me? No, of course not!

  ‘I should have told you about Pia. She came into my life soon after my dad passed away.’

  The words poured out of Neel. Things that he hadn’t expected to tell a soul came tumbling out: Pia’s betrayal, the humiliation his family had suffered, Meera’s emotional crisis and his anguish as he failed to find a way to reconnect with her.

  At some point they walked out of the hotel grounds and strolled down a little pathway that led to the ruins of an old Portuguese fort on the edge of the sea. In the distance the city skyline spread out beyond the creek was ablaze with twinkling lights. How calm and serene it all was. How fitting that he should be baring his soul to Rayna right here. Did he have reason to hope that she would not dismiss him as some pathetic, messed up creature? Or had he left it too late?

  Her hand reached out for his and her fingers tangled with his in a tight clasp. His heart clenched in his chest, his blood sang with joy and something sparked in his soul. He pulled her close to him and kissed her tearstained cheeks softly. He took her hand and pressed it against his heart. ‘I love you, Rayna. So much that it hurts… I have known it from the moment you walked up to me and proposed a fake engagement. And I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to finally say it aloud. I love you!’

  She looked at him—her eyes were aglow with warmth and something else that he dared not name. ‘Did you just say you…you love me?’

  He kissed the corner of her mouth. ‘I love you.’

  Her smile broadened and her eyes filled up. ‘Oh!’

  ‘Is that all you can say?’ he teased her gently as he caught the teardrop that rolled down her face with his lips.

  She nodded. ‘I need to hear it many more times before it actually begins to sink in.’

  He kissed her full on the mouth then as they sank down together on a bench overlooking the sea, and it was only much later she heard him chant, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ And, with each repetition of the love mantra, he planted little offerings of kisses all over her face.

  She wanted to laugh and cry and shout and scream at the top of her voice in tandem with her heart that was doing a wild happy dance. But all she could manage was to close her eyes, savour the sweetness and finally say, ‘I love you too, Neel.’

  His lips stilled. Her eyes flew open and she saw the shock on his face. She wrapped her hands around his neck and climbed onto his lap. ‘Don’t pretend to be shocked, OK? You always knew that I was in love with you. Come on now, admit it!’

  ‘No, I didn’t.’ He crossed his heart earnestly and grinned. ‘I kinda knew you were attracted to me. Well, OK, definitely that you liked me.’

  ‘Liked you!’ she exclaimed. ‘Who do you think I was talking about on the stage a little while ago?’

  ‘Oh, that “special person” that inspired you to design the ring was me?’ His eyes twinkled mischievously even though he still pretended to be shocked.

  She wiggled closer on his lap and stared up at him. ‘So don’t let that go to your head, OK?’

  ‘Yes, ma’am,’ he dimpled and twirled a silky strand of her hair in his fingers.

  ‘And oh, I need to hear you say those three words at least a hundred times a day,’ she teased mercilessly.

  ‘Of course. I know I haven’t done enough grovel-ling but will you please put me out of my misery now?’

  She kissed his ear and whispered, ‘I love you, Neel. Truly. Madly. Deeply.’ She rested her head against his broad shoulder. ‘I love you so much that it was like a physical pain inside me. I couldn’t believe that what we shared on the island meant nothing to you. I called you up on the pretext of returning the ring. Every day I would wait for you to call back, text me, email me. Anything!’

  ‘Oh, my darling!—’ Neel rasped.

  She put a finger on his lips and continued. ‘In these four months I hated you with an intensity that I never felt before. Hated how much I had loved every moment I shared with you. Hated that, despite your rejection of me, I still loved you. Weird, right? But that’s what you did to me. I hated you intensely. And I loved you even more intensely. You taught me to believe in myself. How can I not love you for that?’

  He had found her and he would never let her go, he promised himself as he hugged her close to him. ‘You taught me that my life is nothing without you in it. I have been such an idiot, my darling. Please forgive me. I promise I will make it up to you. Every day. For the rest of my life.’

  ‘Uff!’ she breathed. ‘If you’re not careful you might just crack my bones.’

  He immediately loosened his grip and she snuggled closer.

  ‘Neel, can I ask you something?’

  ‘Anything, my precious!’ His voice was thick with emotion.

  ‘Can you trust me not to break your heart?’

  The look he gave her was all the answer she needed but he added hoarsely, ‘I trust you, my darling. Completely. Always. For ever.’

  And then they kissed as if their lives depended on it and the waves crashed against the walls of the ruins in thunderous applause.

  EPILOGUE

  THE WARM WATERS of the Indian Ocean washed over Rayna as she surfaced and pulled the mask off her face. Climbing onto the speedboat, she felt Neel’s steadying hand on her back. This was her first attempt at scuba-diving and the experience of swimming underwater had completely blown her away. Her nervousness at the thought of diving twelve metres into the deep had disappeared as soon as she got her bearings. Neel was right next to her—swimming alongside, keeping an eye on her—and she’d never felt safer. Nothing could have prepared her for the magical world around her—it was as if they had stepped into a green treasure chest with sparkling jewels strewn all over. Multicoloured fish and sea creatures swam past her as she marvelled at the corals and the multitude of visions of the water world.

  Neel pulled his mask away and smiled down at her. ‘Speechless, huh?’

  She smiled back at him. ‘Pretty much. I have never seen anything so spectacular.’

  Neel pulled her close to him and she felt the familiar thrum of her senses. ‘But I have…and she is right here with me.’

  ‘No way! Just give me a moment to get out of my Superfishwoman suit and I’ll show you spectacular!’

  He grinned back at her, a familiar wicked sparkle in his eyes. ‘I’m waiting.’

  ‘Shameless.’ She pouted. ‘I didn’t mean in-the-buff spectacular.’

  ‘You didn’t?’ he intoned with exaggerated dismay.

  He stripped off his wetsuit—as she ogled him shamelessly—and pulled on a pair of board shorts. ‘Your turn next, sweetie.’

  She laughed and shook her head. ‘Nope…you turn around right now.’

  ‘Come on, it’s not as if—’

  Arms akimbo, she glared at him. ‘Now!’

  As he reluctantly turned around to face away from her she warned, ‘And no peeping! Otherwise we’ll never get off the boat!’

  Life had been amazingly spectacular ever since Neel had stormed back into it. She had taken permanent residence on cloud nine. And she had a new and vastly improved Book of Immutable Laws that she had renamed the Love Nirvana Book.

  Rule #1: When you’re with your Mr Right nothing can go wrong!

  She had learnt to love Neel in a whole new way. There had been times when he seemed withdrawn and she had understood. She knew it couldn’t have been easy for him loving her—not when he had had years of practice at shutting himself off from the world. He needed space to deal with his anxieties and she was more than willing to be
patient about it. The most stressful period had been when he’d taken her to meet Meera. But, as luck would have it, she and Meera had felt an instant connection. The bond had only strengthened with each visit. She was happy that Meera accepted her as part of her family—and she had seen the relief and gratitude in Neel’s eyes. She counted her blessings every day and she knew it would mean nothing if it weren’t for this man in her life—her very own Mr Right, who was not perfect by any means but she wouldn’t want him any other way.

  Within minutes she had changed into a bikini top and sarong and announced, ‘OK. You can look now!’

  He gave an appreciative whistle and she did an exaggerated model-walk that ended with her being swept up in his arms and kissed thoroughly. When he dragged his mouth away from hers she groaned in protest.

  ‘Hold that thought, sweetheart. But for now I need to ask you something.’

  The look that he gave her made her heart swoon. He clearly had a little surprise tucked away for her. And she was more than happy to go along with it.

  Rule #2: Trust Neel to make her feel extra special and throw in some wonderful surprises too!

  The next thing she knew, he was down on one knee and holding out the Blue Nirvana ring. ‘Will you marry me, Rayna? Will you be my forever woman?’

  Nothing could be more special or perfect than this. She nodded happily. ‘Oh, yes, yes, yes!’

  He slid the gorgeous ring on her finger and she threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard. As she came up for air, breathless and deliriously happy, he said, ‘Let’s do it!’

  ‘What?’ Her eyes were wide with surprise. ‘You mean, get married right now?’

  ‘Yes!’ He beamed at her and they sped off towards the shore.

  Neel and his surprises! Her brain was spinning like a top gone crazy. ‘I can be as bohemian as anybody else, but even I draw the line at getting married in a sarong.’

  ‘I would marry you if you didn’t have a stitch on you,’ he shouted above the roar of the water.