“Me either.” If he only knew.
“I wanted to text you and see how your new job was going.”
“It’s going well. Everyone’s really welcoming. I feel like part of a team rather than someone on the outside of things. It’s pretty cool.”
“You don’t feel chained to a desk? You had your freedom in your former life.”
“Very true. But I don’t. I feel like I’m finally coming into my own person after way too long.”
“What was holding you back?”
I take a minute to compile my thoughts. “Insecurity, I guess. Lack of encouragement from my mom or dad. School was hard for me. I graduated on time, but it was a serious struggle. If I ever complained about school to my mom, she’d tell me to focus on looking for a husband, then I could quit. My dad would just throw money at a tutor or ask if there was someone I could pay to write a paper for me. He just wanted me to graduate so I wouldn’t be an embarrassment.” I meet his gaze to make sure he’s still with me. I know how crazy my family sounds.
He takes my hand, running his thumb over it in a soothing motion, giving me the strength to continue.
“I don’t know. I traveled for a while right out of college, then I spent the better part of a year with my aunt when she got sick. Even she never worked or had her own career. She wanted those things for me, but it was hard to hear it from her when she hadn’t lived that way. To be honest, I was just afraid. I lacked the confidence it takes to start your own career.”
“You seem confident to me—determined and strong.”
I smile at him. “That’s because I’m desperate. I’ve escaped my old life and I don’t want to have to go back.”
He plays with my fingers. “I like being a part of your new life.”
My body sings with want for him, and I’m worried I’m getting myself in too deep. I recalibrate and refocus the conversation. “What about you? You started a new life about the time I started mine, moving in here.”
He inhales a deep breath and then lets it out. “Yep.”
“That’s a noble thing you did, living at home all those years to take care of your grandma.”
He closes his eyes and rubs his temple, rolling onto his back. “I wasn’t just taking care of my grandma.”
“No?”
“My mom’s had it rough, losing her husband and trying to raise me and my brother. It hasn’t been an easy life for her.”
“I’ll bet.”
He frowns, seeming to be in deep thought. “She’s struggled with addiction a lot of her life.”
“What kind of addiction?”
“Opioids, mainly.”
I wince. “That is so hard. I haven’t had any experience with that in my own life, but I’ve seen documentaries. It’s so unfair how it affects vulnerable groups of people.”
“It’s been hard making ends meet over the years, paying for rehabs that we didn’t have the money for.”
“How is she doing now?”
“She’s been sober for nineteen months.”
“That’s a long time.”
He nods. “It is. She’s been sober for a longer period of time than this, though. I wanted to stay there with her, but she said my being there was enabling to her. She pretty much kicked me out of the house—told me that if I stayed, I was putting her sobriety in danger.”
“Does that scare you?”
“I’m worried for my mother every day of my life. But I feel better about her sobriety now than I have in a long time. She’s got my grandma to take care of, so I think that keeps her focused.”
I rub my thumb along his hand. “It probably wasn’t easy leaving.”
“No, it wasn’t. But I’ll do anything to keep her healthy.” I tear up a little, and he looks at me with a smile. “Don’t do that.”
“Sorry. It’s just so sweet to see how much you love her.”
“She’s the most important thing to me—she and my grandma, and my brother.”
I smile, but my heart sinks. “Your family is everything to you. I envy that. My family has all the money anyone could want, but we don’t have a fraction of what you guys have.”
He pulls my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re apologizing to me for being rich. That’s kind of messed up.”
He just stares at me, threading his fingers through mine.
“I wanted to meet your mom and your grandma the other day,” I say.
“That’s not how I wanted to introduce you to them.”
“I totally understand. It wasn’t an appropriate time.”
He focuses on my hand. “I would still like to introduce you to them, though.”
“I’d love to meet them. And I’d like to spend time with your brother, too.”
“I could do without you hanging with him for a while. He’s going through a selfish phase.”
“How old is he, nineteen?”
“Yeah.”
“I think everyone goes through a selfish phase at nineteen.”
“Probably. But we can’t afford his selfish phase. We need him to help. And we need him to not be irresponsible.”
“It’s got to be hard for you. You must feel out of control.”
“That’s a good way to put it.”
I kiss him and then pull back. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“Thanks for listening.”
We kiss again, and keep kissing for a long time, until he finally rolls over on top of me. Our bodies move together, his erection growing against my leg. I’m overcome with passion or lust or some feeling I can’t put a name to. Whatever it is, I’ve never felt it before, not even for Joshua after years of being with him.
Brett reaches into the nightstand drawer and pulls out a condom, readying himself. As he pushes inside of me, he moves slowly, taking time to kiss me. The buildup inside of me comes gradually and reaches all the way up through my chest, squeezing my heart. I grasp his shoulders, letting him know it’s time for me. We collapse together and he kisses my neck, my cheek, and then my lips, staring at me wordlessly. I can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling even a fraction of what I am.
25
Brett
“I can’t believe I got you out tonight. You’ve been MIA,” Cohen says.
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“Where is Kylie tonight?”
“Working late.”
“Ah. I’ll try not to get my feelings hurt knowing I was your second choice. She is way hotter than me.”
Logan, on the other side of the bar, grabs a mug and pulls a beer from the tap. “Ah, don’t be down on yourself, cuz. You’re beautiful to me.” He blows Cohen a kiss with a wink.
Cohen eyeballs his cousin as he walks to the other end of the bar to deliver the beer, and then turns to me. “How’s it going with her?”
It’s a loaded question and one I’m not sure I want to answer. “Good.”
“That’s not very convincing,” he says.
I shift in my seat. “It’s just a lot.”
“How so?”
“I don’t feel very in control.”
“Yeah, sounds like love to me.”
My chest ignites at the word.
“Sorry, too much?” he asks.
“I think it’s all too much. I’m trying to be cool with it, but she’s still staying with Jack Massey.”
“Oh.” The look on Cohen’s face indicates I’m not crazy to be worried. He cocks his head to the side, changing his tune. “Nothing’s happening between them, though, right?”
“That’s the narrative.”
“You don’t believe her?”
I consider this. “I believe her. I just don’t trust him.”
“Look, man, I know what went down between him and Tori last year, but Jack’s not a bad guy. You know that, right? I really don’t think he would do that to you. I think he’s more interested in getting back in your good graces.”
“Have you been talking to him
?”
“No, not really. I mean, he’s made a few off-the-cuff remarks here and there over the months. He used to be a part of our group. I think he wishes he could be again.”
“That’s not happening. Not after what he did to Tori. Nobody in this group would pick him over Tori.”
“Except maybe Bailey,” Cohen says.
I shrug my agreement.
“Is that the only thing bothering you? Her living with him?” Cohen asks.
“Maybe not. I don’t know where it’s going. I mean, everything’s all roses right now, but I have a feeling she’s going to get tired of my schedule really quick. I’ve got to go to my mom’s tomorrow night and spend the night. I’ll be there all day on Saturday to watch my grandma. My mom’s got a twelve-hour shift that starts at six a.m.” I glance over at him. “I’ve been down this road before, you know.”
He nods. “I remember. Madison, right?”
I just look at my beer, the weight of my life bearing down on my shoulders.
“How’s your brother been since you moved out?” he asks. “Is he helping like he should?”
“If it’s convenient for him. But I can’t be too pissed off at him. He’s got school and a social life.”
“You’ve got work and a social life.”
I shrug. “I’m used to helping more than he is.”
“Maybe it’s time he gets used to it. Just saying.”
Logan appears in front of us. “Another round?” I consider my beer and then check my phone. Logan smirks at me. “Ask her what kind you should get. Tell her I’ve got a new lager you might like.”
“Fuck you,” I say. But he’s right. When’s the last time I checked my phone before wondering if I should have another beer? I am losing control in this relationship. I’ve got to set some boundaries. I just hope I can stick to them.
26
Kylie
It’s hard for me to believe things are going as well as they are. Last week, I was getting my feet wet, acclimating to the project, which has been to scout out organizations across the southeast who may be willing to sponsor stays for families for the week at cost. Initially, I was to have turned my results over to Jack, and then he would take it from there, but I’ve convinced him to let me make a presentation explaining my results. My plan to knock their socks off is underway. Now I’ve just got to figure out how to get them barefooted.
My phone dings, and I see it’s a text from Brett.
Are you ready to make your presentation?
As I’ll ever be.
You’re going to kill it.
I reply with a smiley face, which matches my own expression. Part of the reason I’m not as nervous as I should be is because of Brett. His assurance in me builds my own confidence.
Jack’s assistant peeks around the wall of my cubicle. “They’re ready for you.” I nod and grab my laptop.
When I step into the conference room, my heart pounds as I see Robert sitting there. I had asked Jack who would be in the meeting, and he said just him, Easton from Group Sales, a guy from Accounting, someone from Marketing, and Janelle, who heads PR, which was going to be scary enough as it was. I’m jumping in at the start of a planned budget meeting. I plaster on a smile. “Hi, everyone.”
“Kylie, I hope you don’t mind if I sit in,” Robert says. “I was intrigued when Jack told me you’d requested to make a presentation.”
“It’s no problem,” I say. “I’ll talk to anyone who wants to listen.”
The room echoes with a courtesy laugh, and I point to the projector. “Do you mind if I hook up?”
“Please,” Robert says.
I quickly get set up. I’ve never given one of these before, so I stayed late last night to figure out how to use the equipment. I grab the remote for the PowerPoint and get us started. “I was given a goal to find contact info for fifty organizations who would be good to solicit for our outreach initiative. Once I hit that goal, I drilled in on each organization to gather more information so that whoever reached out to them would know more about the company, their past philanthropy efforts, the correct contact person who would actually take the call….”
This elicits another laugh, which I wasn’t really going for, but okay.
I continue. “In this process, I did what I do best and just started talking to people. And then people would refer me to other people, and then it kind of snowballed. As a result, I have made solid contacts with twenty-two of these resorts, and they’re ready to sign on as soon as we can present them a contract.”
I continue on with the presentation, showing the various organizations and what they focus on, explaining that I worked with Jack on details, pricing, timelines, etc. At the end, Robert studies me, as my heart spins, waiting for his verdict.
“This is really impressive, Kylie.”
I give a contrite nod. “Thank you, sir. I actually enjoyed doing it.”
“Would you like to do it some more?”
I shrug. “Sure. I can keep going as long as you’d like me to.”
“I mean, would you like a permanent position in Outreach?”
I can’t contain my smile. “Yes, I would love one.”
Robert turns to Jack. “Jack and I will discuss title, salary, responsibilities, and we’ll come back to you with an offer in the next day or two. Will that work?”
“Wonderfully,” I say. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity.”
“Thank you for taking the ball into the end zone.” He opens his laptop. “Let’s move on to the budget. I’ll sit in on this as well.” He glances up at me. “You may go, Kylie.”
I grab my stuff and exit the room, grinning like an idiot. Just as I’m getting seated, Bailey pops her head around the corner. “So, how did it go?”
“It went really well,” I say, trying to contain my excitement.
“Clearly it did. Look at you. I haven’t seen you this happy since you walked in the door.”
“I think I might’ve landed a job—a permanent one.”
She holds out her arms. “Congratulations.” I stand up and we embrace. She pulls away, smiling at me, but her eyebrows are drawn together. “Can I just say I’m sorry?”
I swallow hard, ready to address the elephant in the room. I was kind of hoping it would just tromp away. “What for? You haven’t done anything.”
“I did do something pretty horrible. I ghosted you after that night we went out.”
I grab her hands. “I totally got it, though. You don’t know me. I’m sure I seemed like I was just jumping from one guy to the next. But I swear I wasn’t.”
“I know you weren’t. And even if you were, that’s not any of my business.”
“It would totally have been your business. You had just told me how you felt about Jack.”
She shakes her head. “I’m just such a freaking hot mess. I hope you’ll forgive me and we can move forward?”
“Nothing to forgive. I’m just thrilled that we cleared the air.”
“I know you’re probably seeing Brett tonight, but Simone and I are going out and we’d love to have you join us.” She points at me. “But girls only.”
“I’d actually love to. Brett is going to his mom’s house tonight.”
She clasps her hands together. “Perfect. I’ll text you the plan.”
She heads off, and I pull out my phone to text Brett, but I want to tell him some of my good news in person, so I just text him the part about going out with Bailey and tell him I hope his day is going well. He responds.
That’s great. Bailey and Simone are cool. You’ll have a good time.
I sit back in my seat, wondering how this day could possibly get any better.
27
Brett
I lean against my truck, waiting for Kylie to come out of her office. I just want to see her face before I head to my mom’s house.
I haven’t seen her much at all this week. She’s been working a lot of late nights. I tell myself it’s not my insecurity, but part of me w
ants her to see me more than anything. She texted a while ago to say she’s having a girls’ night with Bailey and Simone. I’m happy that she’s cool with Bailey again, but the three of them are bound to turn heads tonight. I want to kiss her and give her something to think about before she heads out for the night.
A group of corporate drones come out together—Easton, Taylor, some asshole I don’t recognize, Janelle, Bailey, Kylie, and of course, Jack Massey. They’re all smiling and laughing, Kylie beaming from ear to ear. “Hey,” she says with wide eyes as she spots me.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“Your girl,” Bailey says, beaming at her.
Kylie’s face goes red, and the rest of them look like they’re proud of themselves or something.
Bailey squeezes Kylie’s shoulders. “She’s the newest official member of Corporate.”
“You got a permanent job?” I ask.
“Yeah,” she says. “I guess the presentation went okay.”
I make eye contact with Jack, who stares back at me with his hands in his pockets. I don’t know if I want to thank him or punch him in the face.
“That’s awesome,” I say, giving her a hug.
“Thank you. I don’t even know what to say.” She glances around at the group. “You’re all so wonderful. I can’t believe I’m gonna be your new co-worker permanently.”
“You deserve it,” Easton says. “You kicked ass these past two weeks.”
I study him. Is this another asshole I need to worry about?
“Are you coming to eat with us?” Janelle asks me.
I look at Kylie, confused, and she says, “We’re going to happy hour. Can you come?”
“I’ve got to go to my mom’s,” I say, hoping to hell she remembered that.
She shakes her head. “Of course. I knew that. I just didn’t know when you had to leave.”
“Can you come for one drink?” Bailey asks.
I look at this group of people and Jack standing there so smug, like he’s responsible for the earth spinning. I glance down at my phone to check the time. I have maybe enough for one beer if I drink it through a straw.
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