These Wicked Games
Page 9
And they were hers. All hers.
What’s your line?
—Carrie Feron
Just Because It’s Written in Blood Doesn’t Mean It’s Carved in Stone
I know exactly how precious every word is. But never be afraid to toss something out if it isn’t working. When I wrote the first proposal for Master of Desire, my editor didn’t like it. She wanted a more complicated plot. So I tossed the first one hundred pages and started the book completely over from scratch. By the time I handed the book in, she’d left and I was with another editor. That editor hated every single change the first editor had wanted. She’d also pulled my original proposal and asked why I hadn’t followed that one. Rather than chance destroying the book by tearing out too much of the plot, I told her I’d write a whole new book, and that’s the version that was published. A few years later that more complicated book was published as A Dark Champion.
—Kinley MacGregor
Leave ’em Hanging
Have you ever said to yourself: I’ll just read one more chapter and then I’m going to go to bed, only to find that, six chapters later, it’s 3 in the morning and you’re still sitting in the same place? Well, you can blame it on the transitions. It can be argued that good transitions are what make a book successful. A great transition between chapters is what sucks the reader in and makes her (or him) not just want to keep reading but need to keep reading. Susan Elizabeth Phillips is the master of transitions. She knows just when to leave you hanging so that you just have to keep reading. Take a look at Breathing Room or Match Me If You Can, and you’ll see what I mean.
—Tessa Woodward
Looks Aren’t Everything
But in a book, the physical descriptions of your hero and heroine can provide clues about his or her character. Take this example from Victoria Alexander’s When We Meet Again:
It was an exceedingly noble profile—high forehead, strong straight nose, lips just full enough to be at once arrogant and exciting. Even in slumber he had the appearance of royalty, of a man born to rule.
What picture will you paint?
—Esi Sogah
Make a Lasting Impression with a Memorable Ending
I’m one of those people who read the last few pages of a book before I even glance at the first chapter. Most think that’s weird. After all, romance novels always have a happy ending. But does that ending bring tears to your eyes? Or leave a silly smile on your face well after the book is back on the shelf? There are happy endings, and then there are the really satisfying happy endings. If you can leave your reader with an ending they’ll remember for a long time, then your job is done.
In deference to those who don’t want to know the ending before they start a book, I’ll just note that one of my favorite endings can be found in Julia Quinn’s On the Way to the Wedding.
—Erika Tsang
Make It a Page Turner
The journey to a happily-ever-after ending is fraught with conflict. It’s the tension between the hero and heroine that makes a romance novel a compelling read. Sophie Jordan’s debut novel Once Upon a Wedding Night has a great example of how to keep readers turning the pages:
Meredith’s guilt grew, making her nervous. Nick wanted to acquire a physician for her? She could just imagine the fellow’s face when she delivered a one-pound pillow. She glanced suspiciously at the man beside her. Perhaps he was not so kind after all and really suspected the truth…that she was not with child. Or even worse. Perhaps he was more nefarious than she imagined and wanted to arrange for a physician that would do harm to her or the baby, ensuring that he gained his inheritance. Had he fooled her just as she fooled him?
—May Chen
Natural Dialogue
If you’re worried that your dialogue doesn’t sound natural, read it aloud. You will know almost instantly when a character’s speech is stilted or goes on for too long.
—Julia Quinn
One Secret of Engrossing—and Believable—Long Love Scenes
The majority of romances use both the hero’s and heroine’s point of view. If the love scene to be written is longer than a page or two, both points of view should be used, or the scene becomes too much a singular event involving only one of the principal characters and the other becomes secondary, of less importance, and the love scene does not read as the mutual, shared experience it needs to be.
One stylistic point to remember, especially in love scenes, is that when switching from one character’s point of view to the other’s, it is also necessary to switch internal dialogue and focus. The hero won’t be thinking of the same things the heroine is, and he won’t be using the same mental language.
Any Stephanie Laurens novel contains examples of long, dual point-of-view love scenes. Many also contain short, single viewpoint love scenes.
—Stephanie Laurens
Pace—Moving Right Along
One trick to keeping readers engrossed and the pace of a novel kicking along is to include only scenes in which some specific action essential to the progression of the story occurs, and eliminate all scenes that don’t contain such an action.
Making a decision might qualify as an essential action, but simply learning information might not. Scenes in which information is learned but no action is taken can often occur “off stage” and be reduced to a mention in the scene in which the information subsequently gives rise to an action. Eliminating scenes that don’t need to be shown “on stage” will keep the action rolling.
—Stephanie Laurens
Snappy Dialogue
It can do wonders for your writing. It moves the story along; it keeps the reader engaged and entertained; it makes your characters come to life and ring true. Snappy dialogue can also set the tone between your characters and help to define their personalities. It can be fun as well as effective. I believe one of Julia Quinn’s strengths is her mastery of dialogue. See what she does between the hero and heroine of It’s in His Kiss, just after they’ve been snooping around where they shouldn’t have been…
“You’re mad,” Gareth said, looking stern and shocked and—God help her—sweet, all at the same time. “You are stark, raving mad,” he said. “Everyone told me, but I didn’t quite believe—”
“Someone told you I was mad?” Hyacinth cut in.
“Eccentric.”
“Oh.” She pursed her lips together. “Well, that’s true, I suppose.”
“Far too much work for any sane man to take on.”
“Is that what they say?” she asked, starting to feel slightly less than complimented.
“All that and more,” he confirmed.
Hyacinth thought about that for a moment, then just shrugged. “Well, they haven’t a lick of sense, any one of them.”
What will your characters say?
—Lyssa Keusch
This Isn’t Just a Hobby
Just because you don’t have a contract doesn’t mean you’re not working. Writing is hard at every level, but I think it’s the hardest when you’re unpublished. People tend to think it’s a hobby (Oh wait, this never changes—I still can’t convince my hubby that if I’m in jammies at four it’s because I’m on a writing roll and not lounging around). If you’re on a roll, it often helps to maintain balance and peace by negotiating with your family. “Okay guys, give me Monday to Thursday to work and we’ll have Family Night on Friday where I do whatever you want to.”
If I’m really on a roll, many times I’ll stay at a friend’s house or rent a hotel room for a weekend just to keep my head focused and my characters alive. Try to establish parameters for family time and writing time. I wrote Master of Desire over a four-day holiday when my hubby took our boys to his parents’ house and left me on my own to work.
—Kinley MacGregor
Vary the Cadence of Your Sentences
Short, direct sentences add tension to a scene, while long, flowing sentences are great for exposition or those moments of relaxing interplay between characters. Experiment and
see how varying the cadence puts an extra punch into your scenes.
Here is an example from my book In the Bed of a Duke. Notice how the sentence length changes as the tension inside Charlotte eases and she realizes she is no longer alone in facing what is to come:
Her nerves were stretched thin. She had a bad feeling in her stomach. Colster took her in his arms in front of everyone. “Look at me.” She raised her gaze, holding back tears. He smiled at her and lightly ran his thumb across her lower lip. A lover’s gesture. “Be brave.”
It was what she needed to hear. She straightened her shoulders. “Laird MacKenna won’t hurt you. I won’t let him.”
“Any authority you have over him will be greatly appreciated,” he assured her. “I’m not proud when it comes to my own neck. Now come. Let us show them our courage.”
The stocking by itself was worthless, and the red garters she’d once been so proud of were lost in the hay. She slipped on her nearly ruined shoes, allowed
Colster to take her hand in his own warm, reassuring one, and let him lead her outside.
—Cathy Maxwell
Writer’s Block?
Too often I hear excuses from writers for not writing! The best cure for writer’s block is set aside a time to write—an hour, two hours—an entire morning or afternoon. Then, put your butt in your chair and write. Each and every day. Even if you think it’s horrible, this will keep your creative process alive and kicking. Remember: Writers write!
It’s also important to take at least another part of the day doing something soothing for yourself; this will help clear your mind. But every published author I know will tell you it’s important to have discipline. It’s crucial to a successful career.
—Lucia Macro
Writing Garbage on the Way to Gold
We picture published writers sitting around as delicious prose zings straight from their brains onto their Macs.
But the truth is that every writer produces dreck. A successful writer keeps going, even as she finds herself writing pages about corsets.
I remember being bored to tears by my own prose when one of my heroes abruptly turned around and said, “I’m afraid of the dark” (Duchess in Love). Keep writing, and you may suddenly discover that you’re channeling Oscar Wilde, or that your characters are surprising you.
Terrible prose happens on the way to good prose. Don’t quit; don’t give up. You can cut the talk of corsets later; you can edit a page with words—but a blank page will never get you a contract.
—Eloisa James
Writing Believable Love Scenes—Everything in Its Appropriate Place
Sounds simple? On the evidence, it’s not. Many is the love scene that has reduced readers to giggles because the author hasn’t invested the time to follow her characters through their physical contortions step by slow step, resulting in what, on the basis of the words on the page, is a physical impossibility.
Author Julia Byrne, an ex-ballroom dancer, likens writing love scenes to choreography—you are scripting not just one but two bodies in an interactive exchange. When one moves, so does the other. Envisioning love scenes in full detail, preferably in slow motion, can ensure that the movements of one character as described accurately mesh with the movements of the other. This is especially useful in scenes using unconventional positions.
A common error is when an author leaves out a change in position—she knows it in her head but it isn’t on the page—and the reader is jerked out of the scene at that point, because what’s on the page no longer makes sense.
—Stephanie Laurens
Appendices
Avon FanLit Story Lines
Create Chapter 1:
The time: Spring, London 1815
The setting: The Duchess of Alderman’s annual ball
When your chapter opens, it is well after midnight and the ball is in full swing. A hush comes over the room as the beautiful and mysterious Countess Fraser enters. With little more than beauty, wit, and charm, she has taken society by storm. But what is her background? The ladies are suspicious, and the men are predictably smitten.
All except Damien, the Earl of Coulter. He is convinced the lady is a charlatan. Determined to unmask her deception, he demands a dance.
The chapter concludes at the end of the evening. The twists and turns are up to you.
Create Chapter 2:
Our hero, Damien, Earl of Coulter, has just learned at the recent ball that the breathtaking and mysterious Countess Fraser is actually his once-scrawny “little hellion” wife-of-convenience—Patience.
Stunned by her transformation since he last saw her three years before, Damien wonders why she has reappeared now and why the sight of the Baron of Snydley caused her to shudder while they danced.
A leisurely moment is interrupted when Damien receives a surprising note—written by Patience, but amusingly signed by her cat “Penelope.” It requests they meet.
Meet they do—their conversation is filled with pointed questions, hidden barbs, and subtly indicates their attraction. Then, before all his questions are answered, they are interrupted, and someone drops a surprising bombshell.
Create Chapter 3:
It was just revealed that Damien suspects his neglected wife Patience is in peril at the hands of Arthur, the shady Baron Snydley. For her protection, he puts aside his fears of being tied down and rushes to establish his Mayfair town house as their proper marital home. But it’s all part of Patience’s ruse to take her rightful place—at his side, in society, and in his bed. Snydley is her cousin, and the two are almost caught conspiring when Damien unexpectedly arrives with his friend Jonathan Crane.
When the new chapter begins, Jonathan sees Snydley’s coach leaving the town house. Damien suspects that Patience is playing a game, and he plots a ruse of his own. When husband and wife meet again, romance nearly blooms, but their game of cat-and-mouse starts spiraling out of control.
Your chapter should also include: a feather, a kiss, and a strange incident at midnight.
Create Chapter 4:
Patience has finally brought her erstwhile husband to his knees (with the help of a handy tiger-skin rug). A near kiss almost clinches the deal, but Damien holds back. With his questions about Baron Snydley’s recent visit unanswered by Patience, he goes straight to the source. Baron Arthur Snydley, Patience’s turncoat cousin, reveals her scheme—and her love.
As the new chapter unfolds, it’s Damien’s move. With his friend Jonathan Crane and the Baron as accomplices, he unleashes his plan. But Patience has an agenda of her own. As their delectable duel continues, the following elements enter the fray: a pot of chocolate, a lightning storm, and someone’s bold declaration.
Remember: There are still two more chapters—so while suspense and surprises abound, the final resolutions are yet to come.
Create Chapter 5:
As last chapter’s author, TessaD, eloquently put it, “Damien fakes an injury and succeeds in luring Patience to his bed. He falls asleep in heaven—but wakes up in hell.” Heaven is Patience ministering to her poor “wounded” husband while she tells him sweet but untrue stories of their life together. But hell arrives in the morning with a repulsive breakfast in bed served by Damien’s seething wife and her feline accomplices. Patience has caught on to his game…
In the new chapter, the stakes are raised even higher when Patience’s identity as the Countess Fraser is publicly questioned. Will this threat to Patience spell the end of their marriage once and for all? Tempers flare and loyalties are challenged, leading to the cliff-hanging end when someone angrily exclaims, “What on earth have you been doing these last three years?”
Don’t forget: Mysteries still abound, as the final chapter in Patience and Damien’s love story has yet to be played out.
Create Chapter 6:
It’s a battle of the sexes! As CM puts it for the last winning chapter, “With all the men allied against her, Patience has no choice but to rally her own troops.” But are they there to
help—or hurt? In a move designed to checkmate her errant husband, Patience allies herself with Damien’s sister and aunt. Penitent Damien is ready to confess his love, but misunderstandings trip him up at every turn. And all their good intentions may not be able to overcome the “help” the couple has been receiving from an unlikely source: Damien’s sister, Alexis.
Now it’s the final chapter: All motives and surprise revelations are unveiled! Finally, Patience and Damien’s passion can be unleashed and their feelings declared. Until, at last, they live happily ever after.
About the Authors
Sherry Ledington
* * *
Sherry (alias “Yorkie Lover”), an admin assistant from Arizona, is our first round winner. Her chapter, “The Wayward Wife,” was voted number one out of more than five hundred submissions.
Keeping company with two spoiled dogs and one (spoiled?) husband, Sherry credits much of her success to her creative writing teacher, Connie Flynn.
“She’s always there with words of encouragement when I’m beating my head against the wall and telling myself that I’ve read better stuff than mine on the back of a cereal box!”
Just proves what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it.
Lacey Kumanchik
* * *
Lacey (alias “laceykaye”), a process engineer from Washington, is our second round winner. Her chapter, “Sweet Deception,” was voted number one out of 299 submissions.
Says Lacey, “I started writing because my brother, whose head is always in the clouds, made me wonder what, exactly, could be inside someone’s head that was so amazingly fascinating.”
Lacey is a member of Eastside RWA and the Red Pen Posse critique group.
Pamela Bolton-Holifield
Pamela (alias “doglady”) is a retired opera singer living in Alabama. Her chapter, “Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright…” was voted number one out of 276 submissions.