The Silent Daughter

by Kirsty Ferguson

  ‘She knew I liked him,’ hissed her sister, venom in her voice. Danni was not giving up Joe. He was the best thing in her miserable life. The only thing. ‘She took him from me.’

  Danni stood there, arms crossed. ‘That’s a lie.’ Her voice rang out clear and true in the night. Danni felt invigorated and realised something had come over her when she had physically hurt her sister.

  Power. She felt power.

  8

  Danni stood still in the entrance to the waiting room, looking at Beth as she watched her warily from the other side, arms folded across her chest in a show of hostility. Beth didn’t take any steps towards her, so Danni closed the distance between them. Danni had had enough to deal with in her life without her sister’s venom poisoning her children. She wanted to keep them as far away from Beth as possible, so they had never met, and she wouldn’t be letting Mia get close to Beth now.

  Beth turned without saying a word and stalked off, leaving her sister and niece to keep up with her long, angry strides. Beth flung herself into her nice new car and started the engine, its throaty roar loud as Danni and Mia hopped into the car.

  ‘You can’t stay at my house,’ Beth said immediately, not even looking at Danni as she said it.

  Despite all the arguments, physical fights and distance, Danni thought Beth would at least provide them with a place to stay after their terrible tragedy. She had lost two children and her husband. Was she really going to turn them away when they needed her?

  ‘I got you a motel room instead,’ she said decisively, finally glancing over at her sister. ‘I don’t want you invading my space.’

  It was probably for the best; Danni didn’t want Mia exposed to her anyway.

  ‘Fine,’ mumbled Danni. At least they had somewhere to go, even if it was the only motel in town. Danni knew the place, run-down, ugly and so close to the industrial estate that Danni imagined you could hear the thump of machinery through the walls.

  Looking straight ahead, Beth said irritably, ‘I paid you up for a month, but that’s all I’m doing. You’re not living off my charity forever.’ This small act seemed to piss her off no end, her full lips now in a thin line. Danni hadn’t seen Beth for years, and she had aged well, which surprised Danni. She wore nice clothes and her hair was swept behind her face, held with a clip, flattering her pretty face, makeup covering the smattering of freckles she knew were there. Danni remembered looking at herself naked in the mirror only a week ago, before she had lost her family. It seemed like a lifetime ago, another world even. She looked good, a taut stomach, perky breasts despite three kids and her hair was as beautiful as ever, although shoulder length where once it had cascaded down her back. She had been objective, wondering, after looking at herself, why she and Joe hadn’t had sex in such a long time. By her count, it had been over a year. He had slowly been drifting from her and she wasn’t sure how to fix it. She pulled herself back to the present. Beth was, as usual, totally self-absorbed, not even expressing sympathy for Danni’s loss.

  Danni had always wondered why Beth could be so cruel. Danni and Mia had just lost the ones closest to them. Seen them burn in the fire that consumed their house and now they had to learn to live without them. How they were supposed to do that she didn’t know. Mia still wasn’t speaking and when Danni looked over her shoulder and smiled at her, all she received in return were a pair of eyes, wide, too big for her petite features, filled with pain, staring back at her. With a sigh, Danni feared that she would never be able to make Mia feel safe again. She had failed her, just as she had failed Alexandra and sweet Noah.

  Beth pulled into the car park of the motel and thrust the key into Danni’s lap. ‘Remember, one month.’ With great reluctance, she handed her several hundred-dollar notes.

  ‘Don’t care how you spend it, but there’s no more coming.’ She seemed combative, wanting to fight. Brows lowered, painted lips pursed into a thin line, daring Danni to say something, anything. She was just looking for a reason to unleash on her, but Danni wasn’t giving her a reason.

  Danni didn’t say a word as she and Mia got out of the car, shutting their doors at the same time. There was no point trying to talk to Beth. When all was said and done, there was nothing between them. Danni really did hate her sister. For as long as Danni could remember, they had been at war with each other, each skirmish worse than the last, causing damage to both sides, she wasn’t even sure who had won the war, but it was clear that Beth still harboured hate in her heart.

  Danni had heard the whispered rumours at school. She may not have had friends, but she still heard them. Quite the scandal it was, Joe sleeping with Beth when he was dating her little sister. Danni tried her best to ignore the hurtful comments. It was at times like these she wished she had made a close female friend, but she had never managed that, so she suffered in silence, until one day it all came tumbling out. She just had to know if what Beth said was true. Even Beth, who Danni knew to be an out and out liar, was telling her the juicy details of how Joe had fucked her in the very car he drove Danni home in every day. That it was hot, that he said she was better than Danni would ever be. She never let up and Danni was beginning to believe her.

  It was a couple of days later when Danni had garnered the guts to confront Joe about the rumours. Joe was driving her home from school, something he had started doing ever since they had begun dating. She said she was happy to take the bus but leaving school, his arm slung around her, gave her a thrill. People were envious of her for the first time in her life, and it felt good.

  ‘Did you sleep with Beth?’ she asked suddenly, breaking the silence. She looked at Joe’s profile. She saw his jaw tighten and his full lips pursed together, blowing out an irritated breath.

  ‘Why are you asking me now? Does it even matter?’ He was frustrated, she could hear it in his voice. And angry, like she shouldn’t be questioning his loyalty to her.

  ‘She keeps saying you did, giving me details, so, yeah, it matters. Did you?’ Danni held her breath for a long moment, waiting for the confession that she was sure wouldn’t come.

  ‘Look,’ Joe said, pulling the car over to the kerb, buying time.

  Danni looked out the window at the grey afternoon. ‘You fucked her, didn’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, I did,’ he sighed. He didn’t say he was sorry; he didn’t touch her, but he did try and smooth it over. ‘It’s in the past, Danni. I’m yours, forever now. Beth, she didn’t and doesn’t mean anything to me, or to you. It won’t happen again.’ She wanted him to promise but couldn’t ask for it, couldn’t beg him to tell her something that in all likelihood would happen again. Why would he sleep with Beth in the first place? She knew now that they had slept together before she had started dating Joe because he’d told her, but to do it to her when they were dating was a low blow. She felt her heart harden against him slightly.

  Danni stared out the window for a moment longer before turning toward him. He had an expectant look on his face.

  ‘If you ever do this to me again, we are over. I don’t care what your excuse is, or if you’re sorry. There won’t be any more talking, I’ll just break it off.’

  He looked wounded by her words as much as her tone. She looked how she felt, fucking angry. But what she said was true, no longer would she stand for it. If he wanted Beth, then he could have her.

  Joe took her hand in his, placed if over his heart. ‘I promise you that I’ll never hurt you like this again.’

  As soon as Danni had seen the farmhouse, she had fallen in love with the hundred-year-old house. It sat at the end of a long dirt driveway, stately, grand, homey. All it needed was some love, and she had plenty of love to give. Joe’s mum had passed away in the night before she ever had a chance to meet her grandchildren. She had left him some money, enough for the modest deposit on the farmhouse, and Joe had found a job right out of school, working with a local contractor laying bricks. Danni and Joe worked hard on getting it ready for when their baby arrived. They were leaving the reveal
of the sex up to chance, but Danni was sure they were having a girl, whereas Joe was convinced there would be a Joe Junior.

  Danni was still painting and hanging curtains in the baby’s room right up until she felt her contractions coming on. Joe was out in the paddock, trying to get some piece of machinery to work. The contractions came hard, and boy did they hurt. She screamed as another contraction ripped through her. The thought crossed her mind that she was going to have this baby alone, and she had no idea what the hell would happen if something went wrong.

  She couldn’t find her mobile to call Joe so he could get her to the hospital. By the time he came in for lunch, Danni was squatting on the kitchen floor, alternating between grunting and screaming.

  His shocked then panicked face stared at her. ‘What do I do?’ he shouted uselessly.

  ‘Call a fucking ambulance,’ she said through gritted teeth, but in the end, Mia had been born right there on the kitchen floor. The ambulance arrived twenty minutes too late, its siren wailing, cutting through the quiet day, broken only by the mewling of their new born daughter along with it.

  Danni looked down at her swaddled daughter, her heart swelling with pride and love. She had laboured to bring this beautiful little girl into the world. Had carried her for nine months and had looked forward to meeting her. Joe had been excited too, touching her belly all the time, bending down to kiss his unborn child goodnight, then standing up to kiss Danni on the lips. It was sweet and life was good.

  Danni looked up from her seated position where she cradled the baby to her breast and said, ‘Isn’t she just the most precious thing you’ve ever seen?’ She was in awe of her baby, which they had agreed to name Mia if she was a girl, her soft skin, the half-narrowed eyes that made Danni think she was scrutinising her surroundings, the small sucking sounds she made when Danni fed her.

  He stared down at her. ‘I kinda wanted a boy.’

  His words cut her to the core. There was nothing else he could have said in that moment that would have been worse. Even finding out he’d slept with her sister had nothing on those few muttered words. Despite loving him, she would never forgive him for those five devastating words.

  9

  That particular day had started with Danni layering makeup on a blackened eye, given to her by her sister the night before. One of many from Beth. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last. Danni should have taken the day off, but she had an English exam. She waited patiently at the end of the driveway for Joe to take her to school.

  She saw his car coming down the road and pulled her long hair further over her eye in an attempt to hide what Beth had done to her. He leaned over and opened the door for her and she slid into the passenger seat. She turned to face him, and immediately a look of horror crossed his face.

  ‘Fuck, what happened to you? Who hit you?’

  ‘Who do you think?’ she asked sarcastically. ‘Don’t worry, it only hurts when I touch it, or you know, move my face at all.’ She tried to make light of the situation. She had tried to fight back, protect herself, but Beth had been stronger and quicker than her.

  ‘Right, this is getting beyond a joke, I’m going in to talk to her.’ Joe turned and put his hand on the door handle.

  ‘Don’t, please. It will just make it worse for me. Please, Joe,’ she begged, a sense of urgency in her words. She laid a hand on his arm to calm him down.

  He was furious. He wiped a thumb under her eye and took off some of the makeup.

  ‘Leave it on, please. I don’t want people at school to see it.’

  ‘Honey, the makeup isn’t covering anything. I’m taking you to the guidance counsellor’s office and she can help you, okay?’

  ‘No. It’ll just get me in more trouble. You don’t understand. She’ll kill me. I’m serious, one day she’s going to kill me, I’m not even kidding.’

  ‘All the more reason to get out now. Okay? Let me help you.’ What he said made sense, but Danni admitted to herself that she was scared. Telling someone, a teacher, a police officer, made it real and she’d spent so long hiding it.

  Danni turned back to face the front and said nothing, but by the time they had driven to school and she had fixed up her makeup, smoothing the foundation out with shaking fingers, she was coming around to his idea of getting help. She was a few months shy of eighteen, so she still had to stay at home a little while longer. Danni lived in constant fear of what Beth might do to her before she got the hell out of there.

  As they pulled into the car park, she whispered, ‘Okay.’

  ‘Okay? Seriously? All right, I’ll set up a meeting with the guidance counsellor today.’

  Later that day, she was pulled out of class and it began. Danni honestly didn’t remember much of that day. Danni didn’t go home after confessing to the guidance counsellor, in fact, she didn’t go back ever again. Finally, something to be thankful for. She told her story to the guidance counsellor and the welfare agency got involved from there. She knew her parents and Beth were interviewed. They all lied through their teeth, of course, saying she was clumsy and had injured herself. But Danni went for medical testing later that week which included X-rays, showing healed fractures in her ribs, wrists and fingers, which proved the abuse that Danni had confessed.

  The following few days were a blur. She was put into a group home where she would stay until she was of age to leave. Joe was there for her every step of the way, offering support and love. Danni realised he must have really loved her to stick by her through all of this drama. The bruises faded, her parents weren’t around to ignore her any more and, best of all, she didn’t have to flinch every time she walked into a room the way she did at her house. Danni began to walk taller now she wasn’t constantly waiting for an attack, she slept better, she no longer needed the safety of a knife under her bed. She may now be in a group home, but she was away from her family at last.

  Three days after she was entered into the foster care system, she was walking to class at school, going down a flight of concrete stairs when someone pushed her from behind. She reached for the metal railing and her hand jammed between it and the concrete wall, jarring her to a halt. Her wrist throbbed in response.

  ‘Hey sis, how you doing?’

  Danni glared up at her as she massaged her jarred wrist, the air slowly returning to her body. ‘You’re not supposed to come near me,’ Danni warned, looking up at her from the ground.

  ‘Oh, is that right?’

  ‘You’re just sorry you don’t have power over me any more,’ said Danni, feeling brave, but they were alone, Beth could do anything to her.

  ‘Oh yeah?’ her sister said, walking down a few stairs. ‘I still own your ass, Danni, make no mistake about it. You’re mine to do with what I want; you always have been and you always will be.’

  Trying not to wince at the pain in her wrist, Danni held her head high as she walked away. It wouldn’t be the last time Beth would hurt her, she was sure of that.

  The group home where she’d stay until she was able to be fostered out was a shit hole. Danni couldn’t have put it any plainer. The chance of her being chosen to go and live with a family were slim. She wasn’t a cute baby, she was almost eighteen, families weren’t going to want her.

  But there was something more sinister going on, something which came to Danni’s attention very quickly. She was walking down a hallway, a little lost, when she happened to come across a tall red-haired girl talking to a small girl with mousy brown hair. As she got level with them, she could see that the younger girl’s tear-streaked face begged for help. She couldn’t ignore her. Not after what she’d gone through.

  ‘Are you all right?’ she asked the young girl.

  ‘None of your fucking business,’ snarled the large redhead, who was standing over the younger girl. Danni had just started a war, one that yet again she wouldn’t win.

  Her name was Anne. For a few days, all was silent. The young girl, Chelsea, came up and introduced herself, thanking her but t
elling her that she shouldn’t have interfered, that it would be worse for both of them now, and she wasn’t wrong. Two days after Chelsea delivered her prediction, it came to fruition.

  Danni was in the bathroom taking a shower, alone. She had just lathered her hair and was rinsing it off when her legs were swept out from beneath her. She hit the tiles, face first. Immediately, she felt the hot blood leak from her nose. She didn’t think it was broken but it hurt like a bitch. The blood ran into her mouth and she spat it out, choking.

  ‘Jesus, Anne, don’t fuck her up too much,’ commented one of her assailant’s friends in a high-pitched stressed-out voice.

  ‘I want to make it clear to this new bitch that this is my place. I run the show here. You got that, bitch?’ she asked Danni, bending down so she was right over Danni’s face.

  Suddenly Anne merged with Beth and she felt a surge of anger well up within her like wildfire. Her mind went blank and she raised her head with speed, smashing it into Anne’s nose. The bigger girl started screaming, drawing the attention of one of the carers who came running at the sound of wailing. She took in the scene at once, instantly knowing what had happened and who had started it. She saw Danni naked on the bathroom floor, blood dripping from her nose.

  ‘Finally someone stood up to you, eh, Anne?’ the carer said.

  Later that day, her case worker informed her that, ‘For your safety, we’ve found an interim family that will take you straight away. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here any more. Anne is a bully who will seek retribution and we can’t watch you twenty-four hours a day, we just don’t have the staff. I don’t want to see that to happen to you again,’ she added kindly.