Thor: Daughter of Asgard

by Genevieve McCluer

  “Come on, hun. You know you’re a slut for their cooking, and besides, they’re the only person who knows about us.”

  That was, sadly, difficult to argue with. Alys’s food might actually be worth putting clothes on. She hadn’t had a home-cooked meal since she’d moved out. She had been too much of a coward to tell her own friends, so she’d been dodging April’s repeated offers. This was the last day of Emily’s weekend, Magni and Modi still hadn’t been back, and as busy as Alys had been, they weren’t likely to be able to meet up again until the next Wednesday. “But I’m tired.”

  “Please.” There was something in Emily’s tone that Hannah couldn’t quite place.

  Hannah rubbed her arm, glancing at Emily. How was she supposed to explain this? She didn’t want to deal with being a god. She was just an accountant. And if they went over to see someone who was clearly obsessed with mythology and knew they were gods, then how was she supposed to not think about it? But they were also Emily’s best friend. “Babe…”

  Emily squeezed her hand. “What’s wrong?”

  Great, she really did have to say it, didn’t she? “Can’t we just stay here?”

  She looked so concerned. Hannah either had to fess up or come up with a really good excuse. “Honey, what? Do you not like Alys?”

  “No, it’s not that.” She sighed. “I just don’t want to deal with this stuff. I don’t have to be a god all the time.”

  The hurt didn’t seem to go away. Emily turned slightly, not quite facing her. “I need someone to talk to about it. It’s a big thing. Especially when you get all the cool stuff, and I get nothing. Come on, it’s not like you hate it. You seemed to really enjoy showing off your strength.”

  “Yeah but I always did that.” That wasn’t much of an argument. Fine, Emily needed this, she supposed it was worth it. “Did they smoke some meat?”

  “I’ll call and ask.”

  A few minutes later, under assurance that there were leftover ribs and that they would be delicious, Hannah agreed.

  “I don’t want to get dressed,” she complained.

  “I know, honey. I don’t want you to get dressed, either.”

  “How long do we have?”

  “They get off at eight.”

  It was only five-thirty, so that gave them enough time for sex and getting dressed. Maybe even a shower if they hurried. “Well, then, I think you need to be getting out of your clothes.”

  Emily’s face lit up. “Yeah?”

  “You dork. When am I ever not up for having my way with you?”

  “I have my way with you plenty.”

  “Yeah, but I’m a god.”

  She quirked an eyebrow. “So, dear Thor, mightiest of the gods, is it your intention to overpower me?”

  “Would you like that?”

  The reddening of Emily’s cheeks, along with the almost inaudible squeak, seemed to suggest that she would very much like that.

  “All right, then, get out of those clothes, or I’m ripping them off.”

  Emily clearly didn’t need to be told a third time. Her clothes were on the ground in a matter of seconds, and Hannah scooped her up in a single hand, supporting her by her firm ass.

  “Did you know you were this strong?”

  Hannah shook her head, but conversation was the last thing on her mind. She kissed along Emily’s collarbone and began trailing down to increasingly alert nipples. They did not end up having time to shower.

  ✥ ✥ ✥

  “You smell like sex,” Alys said, as soon as Hannah and Emily walked through the door. Hannah hadn’t had the chance for a good look inside the last time she was here, which was surprisingly nice and cozy. All she’d seen before was the bathroom, and she’d been in quite a hurry. There was bric-a-brac everywhere: little toys, instruments, lights, and a few plastic figurines. It looked homey and eclectic. She liked it far more than she would have thought, had it been described to her. It made Alys seem more human, where before they were always this weirdly judgmental figure that seemed to tower over Emily. Only metaphorically. Emily was a couple inches taller.

  “I figured you’d rather we get here earlier than later.”

  They shrugged. “I mean, it’s not awful or anything.”

  “Yeah, you like the scent?” Emily asked, giving a playful smirk.

  Rolling their eyes, Alys gestured toward another room, which Hannah soon discovered was a living room with plush couches covered in blankets that someone could melt into. She tossed herself into one, beaming at Emily and Alys. “I love your house.”

  “Thank you. I actually just finished paying it off.”

  “Then help a girl out,” Emily said.

  “I’ll think about it. I assume you two want beer?”

  Emily bit her lip, seeming to mull that over for the first time since Hannah had known her. “I don’t suppose you have mead? Now that we’re Norse gods, I feel like we should try it out.”

  Hannah glared at her.

  “How appropriate. That’s actually why I invited you over.”

  “To show off your mead? Damn, great minds do think alike.”

  Alys chuckled. “What on earth made you think I had some in the first place?”

  “The swords on your bedroom wall.”

  “Hey, it’s one sword and one ax.”

  “Nerd. But I rest my case.”

  They departed to the kitchen and came back with mead, along with a wooden board containing some food Hannah couldn’t quite place. “What’s that?”

  “Venison with cheese and crackers. I figured if we were going with a themed meal, then I’d go as all-out as my lazy ass could manage.”

  Hannah pouted. “But ribs.”

  “Fine, let me preheat the oven. This is just an appetizer.”

  Hannah scooped some deer meat onto a cracker and took a bite. It was stronger than she’d expected, with a strange bitter taste that she drowned in mead before having another bite. By the third cracker, she still wasn’t sure if she liked it, but she seemed incapable of stopping. “This tastes weird.”

  “Yeah, I can tell you hate it,” Emily said, sinking into the cushion next to her and grabbing her own cracker. “It’s a bit of an acquired taste, but I love it.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Alys replied, returning with a soft smile on their face. Having their food complimented seemed to always work for them. “I cold-smoked it over the weekend. I hadn’t done that before, and I’m really pleased with how it turned out.”

  “That doesn’t even make sense.” Hannah took another bite.

  “You cure the meat—I used a dry brine—and then you keep it under ninety degrees while you let in smoke from another chamber.”

  “This isn’t cooked?” Hanna stared at the food. She’d already had enough that it likely couldn’t do any further harm. It was probably worth it, she decided, stuffing the rest of the cracker into her mouth.

  “Nope. But I made sure it was safe. You don’t need to worry.” They sat in a felt recliner that actually had a working leg rest. Hannah tried not to be too jealous.

  “There was kind of a reason for all this. This is going to sound strange.”

  “Try us,” Hannah challenged. “I mean, you believed us about being gods with zero evidence. I don’t think we have any room to judge.”

  They nodded, licking their lips. They looked so nervous. They scratched at their cup rather than actually drinking from it. “You know how you found out? The same thing happened to me.” They took a slow breath, seeming to study them. “It was over the weekend. I wanted to tell you, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react. My…” They hesitated. “My daughter said that I’m also a god.”

  Hannah had absolutely known they were going to have to talk gods, but this managed to throw her. How many gods were there on Earth? Or just in Portland?

  “Oh?” Emily asked, setting down her food. “Which god are you? I’d bet Apollo?” Her normal confidence wasn’t in her voice, and it was clear that she was trying to keep
her cool.

  They drained their cup before filling it again. “Anyone want any?”

  For once, both Hannah and Emily shook their heads. They promptly changed their minds and took Alys up on it, but it was still saying something. Hannah wasn’t sure she’d been this surprised in at least a week.

  Once they’d finished pouring the drinks, Alys sat back down and said, “Promise you won’t tell your kids this?”

  “Okay?” Emily said, sounding more confused than ever.

  “I’m Loki.” Not that Hannah had been staring at them or anything, but she noticed that their breasts were gone, though nothing else seemed particularly different. She could swear they’d been there a second ago. And they’d definitely still had them the other week. “My daughter taught me some basic magic. I was scared to reveal it because it’s just so strange, but you know me. I always hated those things.” They gestured at what Hannah had absolutely not been staring at.

  “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you.”

  That was not the response Hannah was expecting. She stared at Emily. Magic was real. There were even more gods. All of this insanity kept following them. And Emily was just fine with it.

  “Did your daughter tell you anything else?” It sounded so strange to hear both of them talking about their kids. She’d never had a kid. She’d sure as hell never been pregnant. And now they were casually throwing around talk about their children, who were all fully grown gods. How were Emily and Alys handling it? Hannah looked between them. They both seemed totally fine. Like it was all just a normal thing.

  Alys shook their head. “Nothing like that. It was mostly about what I could do. Magic and the like.”

  “Can you teach me?” Emily asked.

  “I don’t think so. It seems to be more of a Jotunn trait. Oh, Loki, which I guess is me, was not an Aesir like Thor and Sif. The singular is Ass, so enjoy that.”

  “You’re an ass,” Hannah chimed in. Ironically, she wasn’t willing to act like one. It didn’t matter how weird this timing or crazy the coincidence was, they were still Emily’s best friend.

  “No, you both are, though.” Alys snickered. Hannah had walked into that. “Jotunns seem capable of wielding magic, while the Aesir aren’t. Odin had to sacrifice a lot to gain the ability to use runes, giving up half of his life, and Heimdallr is a very complicated case. I could try to teach you, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.”

  Someday, Hannah would have the barest understanding of what any of those words meant. Probably. Maybe.

  “Then what the hell good does being a god do for me? I don’t have any powers.”

  “And they said I didn’t have lightning abilities. The movies sure make it look like I…like he did.” Even if Hannah was accepting that she was Thor, and she was only mostly convinced that she was, referring to the mythological figure as herself felt wrong.

  “Hmm.” Sucking on their teeth, Alys seemed to consider these points. “I’m not sure. I suppose there is nothing explicit about Thor having control over lightning, but he was called the Thunderer. As for Sif, well, you could take up gardening or show off your hair more. I’m so glad you kept it now that I know you’re Sif. Those locks of gold. Some claim that’s literal, so I guess you could take your hair to a pawn shop or a jeweler.”

  Emily cocked her head.

  “You also live longer. You are probably stronger than a human, and it would explain your metabolism and why you’re so fit despite never doing anything. So it definitely has a few advantages.”

  “How come she gets all the better stuff?”

  “Sorry,” Hannah muttered. She’d give her strength to Emily if she could. It was fun to play with, but it was too much trouble, especially if it made Emily jealous.

  “I’ll look into it and see if I can find out anything else. I was kinda busy with all the Loki research.” A beep sounded from the other room. “I’m gonna go put the ribs in. I’ll be right back.”

  Was that why they’d mentioned Loki before at the bar? But they hadn’t known they were Loki until this weekend.

  “They’re taking this better than we did,” Hannah said once Alys was out of earshot.

  “Well, yeah, it’s kinda their thing.”

  “But still.”

  “Still what? They’re a nonbinary person who can shapeshift. They ended up with basically the perfect powers.” The “unlike me” was implied.

  Hannah shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know, it’s just bugging me. They really only just found out? But they mentioned Loki last week.”

  “Yeah, because he was a shapeshifter. They’ve always been into him.”

  Hannah took another bite of venison. Maybe she just didn’t know Alys well enough. She supposed there wasn’t really anything suspicious going on. Maybe it was because as little as Hannah knew about mythology, she’d never heard much good about Loki. She decided to keep her thoughts to herself for now. She’d already said all she knew, and Emily trusted Alys. Hannah didn’t want to piss her off and end up making it into a fight. After last time, the idea of her temper flaring was too terrifying. Especially with Emily. She was better than that, and Emily deserved better.

  “The ribs should be like twenty minutes. I don’t want them to lose their tenderness, so I have to take it slow.”

  Hannah giggled and was surprised to find that no one else found that funny. “Almost sounds like you’re romancing the ribs,” she said, trying to explain.

  “Yeah, they’re married,” Emily said.

  Loki—Alys—Hannah had no idea how to refer to anyone now—the nonbinary person over there smirked. “You gonna go off to Asgard?”

  “I’m not sure,” Emily said. “Modi and Magni said that they’d see us soon, but it’s been over a week. Maybe they’re busy setting that up. What about you?”

  “I don’t think I’m welcome there. That’s why I’d really like it if you would keep quiet about me.”

  “Yeah, that’s no problem.”

  “But why would they hate you?” Hannah asked. “I mean, you’re one of them…of us.”

  “The old Loki was a bit of a traitor. I’m, of course, nothing like him.” Their hair was suddenly a bright green. They seemed to be enjoying their newfound freedom. “But they won’t understand that. I’m sure they’re plenty weird about you two already, given that you’re twenty-something women rather than the gods they’re used to, and I’m not ready to try to deal with that. Please let me be separate for a while. Maybe once they’re accustomed to you, we can talk about it, but at least for now, let me be hidden.”

  “Okay, fine,” Hannah relented. She supposed that all made sense.

  “Oh, while I’m asking favors, if they let you get some apples from a tree there, would you grab me one too?”

  “Why?” Hannah asked, her suspicion piqued again. Seriously, how did none of this bother Emily?

  “They make you not age. They’re likely to give them to you, but I would rather not age if I could avoid it. Being immortal sounds nice, so pretty please? I’ll cook anything you want.”

  “You’ll make me brisket again?”

  “I’ll make you a whole cow. Hell, get your special goats, and I’ll make them every day if you need.”

  “What?”

  “Cow it is, then.”

  “I have special goats?” She looked at Emily for support but only received a shrug. “Okay, fine, we’ll grab you one.”

  “Yeah, it’ll be no problem,” Emily said. “So we’re not immortal without them? But aren’t we gods?”

  “Norse gods are weird. We’re longer lived, but we’ll still age without Idunn’s apples. Keep an eye out, and if they give you any, try to grab one for me too. Other than that, well, enjoy being a god, and I’ll try to find out everything I can about your powers.”

  “Anything you can find would be great,” Emily said.

  “I really wanted lightning powers,” Hannah grumbled.

  Chuckling, Alys took a sip of mead. “Well, I’ll see if you can have them. Now,
let’s make like Norse gods and get wasted and eat way too much meat.”

  Hannah giggled. “There’s no such thing as too much meat.”

  They drained the entire bottle of mead, as well as an assortment of beers, and devoured all the ribs and another helping of venison. Hannah’s suspicions waned, and she genuinely got drunk for the first time in far too long. It was absolutely worth putting clothes on.

  Chapter Fifteen

  A blinding pain, along with the sound of someone shouting numbers, roused Alys from sleep. They blinked, trying to will the world to make sense. They were in the living room in their recliner. They pushed a button to turn it back into a chair, the sudden motion sending another jolt of pain through their head.

  The table in front of them was covered in dozens of empty beer, mead, and whiskey bottles. There was even a tequila bottle among them. They had drunk everything.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” a girly voice squealed from somewhere beside them. They’d remember who it was in a minute. “Did I wake you? Was I counting too loud? Sometimes, I get kind of into my morning exercises.”

  “It’s fine,” they muttered, raising their hand and sloppily sketching some symbols in the air. Their head promptly cleared, and they could breathe again. It was so nice to finally be able to do that around someone else.

  “What was that?”

  “Just fixed my hangover.” They chuckled. Not only could they do it, but they could even show off. “You need one?” they asked, finally turning to face Hannah’s perkiness. Perky was right; she’d apparently lost her bra at some point in the night. Alys did their very best not to notice.

  Hannah shook her head. “No. I’m fine. My hangovers are never that bad.”