Return to Promise

by Debbie Macomber

  He must have been there an hour, perhaps longer, when an attractive woman made her way toward him and stood, hands on her shapely hips, directly in front of his table.

  “Hello, Cal.”

  It was Nicole Nelson. Cal stiffened with dread, since it was this very woman who had been responsible for most of his problems.

  “Aren’t you going to say it’s nice to see me?”

  “No.”

  She wore skin-tight jeans, a cropped beaded top and a white Stetson. At another time he might have thought her attractive, but not in his present frame of mind.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  He was about to explain that he’d rather drink alone, but apparently she didn’t need an invitation to pull out a chair and sit down. He seemed to remember she’d done much the same thing the night she’d found him at the Mexican Lindo. The woman did what she wanted, regardless of other people’s preferences and desires. He’d never liked that kind of behavior and didn’t understand why he tolerated it now.

  “I’m sorry to hear about you and Jane.”

  His marriage was the last subject he intended to discuss with another woman, especially Nicole. He didn’t respond.

  “You must be lonely,” she went on.

  He shrugged and reached for his beer, taking a healthy swallow.

  “I think it’s a good idea for you to get out, mingle with friends, let the world know you’re your own man.”

  She wasn’t making a damn bit of sense to Cal. He figured she’d leave as soon as she understood that he wasn’t going to be manipulated into a conversation.

  “The holidays are a terrible time to be alone,” she said, leaning forward with her elbows on the table. She propped her chin in her hands. “It’s hard. I know.”

  Cal took another swallow of beer. She’d get the message soon enough. At least he hoped she would.

  “I always thought you and I had a lot in common,” she continued.

  Unable to suppress his reaction, he arched his eyebrows. She leaped on that as if he’d talked nonstop for the past ten minutes.

  “It’s true Cal. Look at us. We’re both killing a Saturday night in a tavern, simply because we don’t have anyplace better to go. We struggle to hold in our troubles for fear anyone will know the real us.”

  The woman was so full of malarkey it was all Cal could do not to laugh in her face.

  “I can help you through this,” she said earnestly.

  “Help me?” He shouldn’t have spoken, but he couldn’t imagine what Nicole had to offer that could possibly interest him.

  “I made a terrible mistake before, when Jennifer broke off the engagement. You needed me then, but I was too young to realize it, too young to know what I could do. I’m woman enough to have figured it out now.”

  “Really?” This entire conversation was laugh-able.

  Her smile was coy. “You want me, Cal,” she said boldly, her unwavering gaze holding him captive. “That’s good, because I want you, too. I’ve always wanted you.”

  “I’m married, Nicole.” That was a little matter she’d conveniently forgotten.

  “Separated,” she corrected.

  This woman had played no small part in that separation, and Cal was seeing her with fresh eyes.

  “It’d be a good idea if you left,” he said, not bothering to mince words. Until now, Cal had assumed Jane was being paranoid about Nicole Nelson. Yes, they’d bumped into each other at the Mexican Lindo. Yes, she’d baked him a casserole and delivered it to the house. Both occasions meant zilch to him. Until today, he’d believed that Jane had overreacted, that she’d been unreasonable. But at this moment, everything Jane had said added up in his mind, along with his stubborn denial.

  “Leave?” She pouted prettily. “You don’t mean that.”

  “Nicole, I’m married and I happen to love my wife and children very much. I’m not interested in a dalliance with you or anyone else.”

  “I…I hope you don’t think that’s what I was saying.” She revealed the perfect amount of confusion.

  “I know exactly what you were saying. What else is this ‘I want you’ business? You’re right about one thing though—I know what I want and, frankly, it isn’t you.”

  “Cal,” she whispered shaking her head. “I’m sure you misunderstood me.”

  He snickered softly.

  “You’re looking for company,” she said, “otherwise you would’ve drunk your beer at home. I understand that, because I know what it’s like to be alone, to want to connect with someone, anyone. Your thoughts are oppressive and you want someone with a willing ear.”

  Cal had any number of family and friends with whom he could discuss his woes, and he doubted Nicole had any viable solutions to offer. He groaned. Sure as hell, Jane would get wind of this encounter and consider it grounds for divorce.

  “All right,” Nicole said, and pushed back her chair. “I understand this is a difficult time. Separation’s hard on a man, but eventually you’ll want to talk about this. I’ll be there, for you, okay? Call me. I’ll wait to hear from you.”

  As far as Cal was concerned, Nicole would have a very long wait. He settled his tab, and then, because he didn’t want to drive, he walked over to the café in the bowling alley.

  “You want some food to go with that coffee?” Denise asked pointedly.

  “I guess,” he muttered, realizing he hadn’t eaten much of anything in days. “Bring me whatever you want. I don’t care.”

  Five minutes later she returned with a plate of corned-beef hash, three fried eggs, plus hash browns and a thick stack of sourdough toast. “That’s breakfast,” he said, looking down at the plate.

  “I figured it was your first decent meal of the day.”

  “Well, yeah.” It was.

  Denise set the glass coffeepot on the table. “You okay?”

  He nodded.

  “You don’t look it. We went all the way through school together, Cal, and I feel I can be honest with you. But don’t worry—I’m not about to give you advice.”

  “Good.” He’d had a confrontation with his brother earlier in the day about his marriage. Then he’d heard from Nicole. Now Denise. Everyone seemed to want to tell him what to do.

  “I happen to think the world of Dr. Jane, and of you. So work it out before I lose faith in you.”

  “Yes, Denise,” he muttered, picking up his fork.

  Cal had just about finished his meal when Wade McMillen slipped into the booth across from him. “Hi, Cal. How’re you doing?”

  Cal scowled. This was the very reason he’d avoided coming into town. People naturally assumed he was looking for company and so had no compunction about offering him that, plus advice.

  “Heard from Jane lately?” Wade asked.

  Talk about getting straight to the point.

  “No.” Cal glared at the man who was both pastor and friend. At times it was hard to see the boundary between those two roles. “I don’t remember inviting you to join me,” he muttered and reached for the ketchup, smearing a glob on his corned-beef hash.

  “You didn’t.”

  “What is it with people?” Cal snapped. “Can’t they leave me the hell alone?”

  Wade chuckled. “That was an interesting choice of words. Leave you the hell alone. I imagine that’s what it must feel like for you about now. Like you’re in hell and all alone.”

  “What gives you that impression?” Cal dunked a slice of toast into the egg yolk, doing his best to appear unaffected.

  “Why else would you come into town? You’re going stir-crazy on that ranch without Jane and the kids.”

  “Listen, Wade,” Cal said forcefully, “I wasn’t the one who wanted a separation. Jane made that decision. I didn’t want this. In fact, I didn’t do a damn thing.”

  His words were followed by silence. Then Wade said mildly, “I’m sure that’s true. You didn’t do a damn thing.”

  Cal met his gaze. “What do you mean by that?”

  �
��That, my friend, is for you to figure out.” Wade stood up and left the booth.

  For the tenth time that day, Dovie Hennessey found herself staring at the telephone, willing it to ring, willing Jane Patterson to call from California.

  “You’re going to do it, aren’t you?” Frank said, his voice muted from behind the morning paper. “Despite everything you said earlier, you’re going to contact Jane.”

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Dovie replied, although she could feel her resolve weakening more each day. When she realized that Cal and Jane had separated, Dovie’s first impulse had been to call Jane. For weeks now, she’d resisted. After all, Jane was with her mother and certainly didn’t need advice from Dovie. If and when she wanted it, Jane would phone her.

  Everything was complicated by Harry Dickinson’s death. Jane was grieving, and Dovie didn’t want to intrude on this private family time. First her father and then her marriage. Her friend was suffering, but she’d hoped that Jane would eventually make the effort to get in touch with her. She hadn’t, and Dovie was growing impatient.

  Few people had seen Cal, and those who did claimed he walked around in a state of perpetual anger. That sounded exactly like Cal, who wouldn’t take kindly to others involving themselves in his affairs.

  Dovie remembered what Cal had been like after his broken engagement. He’d rarely come into town, and when he did, he settled his business quickly and was gone. He’d been unsociable, unresponsive, impossible to talk to. Falling in love with Jane had changed him. Marrying Dr. Texas had been the best thing that had ever happened to him, and Dovie recalled nostalgically how pleased Mary had been when her oldest son had announced his engagement.

  “Go ahead,” Frank said after a moment. “Call her.”

  “Do you really think I should?” Even now Dovie was uncertain.

  “We had two hang-ups recently. Those might have been from Jane.”

  “Frank, be reasonable,” Dovie said, laughing lightly. “Not everyone’s comfortable leaving messages on answering machines.”

  “You could always ask her,” he said, giving Dovie a perfectly reasonable excuse to call.

  “I could, couldn’t I?” Then, needing no more incentive, she reached for the phone and the pad next to it and dialed the long-distance number Annie Porter had given her.

  On the third ring Jane answered.

  “Jane, it’s Dovie—Dovie Hennessey,” she added in case the dear girl was so distraught she’d forgotten her.

  “Hello, Dovie,” Jane said, sounding calm and confident.

  “How are you?” Dovie cried, unnerved by the lack of emotion in her friend. “What about the children?”

  “We’re all doing fine.”

  “Your mother?”

  Jane sighed, showing the first sign of emotion. “She’s adjusting, but it’s difficult.”

  “I know, dear. I remember how excruciating everything was for me those first few months after Marvin died. Give your mother my best, won’t you?”

  “Of course.” Jane hesitated then asked, “How’s everyone in Promise?”

  Dovie smiled; it wasn’t as hopeless as she’d feared. “By everyone, do you mean Cal?”

  The hesitation was longer this time. “Yes, I suppose I do.”

  “Oh, Jane, he misses you so much. Every time I see that boy, it’s all I can do not to hug him….”

  “So he’s been in town quite a bit recently.” Jane’s voice hardened ever so slightly. The implication was there without her having to say it.

  “If that’s your way of asking whether he’s seeing Nicole Nelson, I can’t really answer. However, my guess is he’s not.”

  “You don’t know that, though, do you? I…I spoke with Nicole myself and, according to her, they’ve been keeping each other company.”

  “Hogwash! What do you expect her to say? You and I both know she’s after Cal.”

  “You know that?” Jane’s voice revealed strong emotion now.

  “I didn’t see it at first, but Frank did. He took one look at Nicole and said that woman was going to make trouble.”

  “Frank said that? Oh, Dovie, Cal thinks…” Jane inhaled a shaky breath. Then she went quiet again. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “What do you mean? Of course it matters!”

  “I made an appointment with a divorce attorney this morning.”

  Stunned, Dovie gasped. “Oh, Jane, no!” This news was the last thing she’d wanted to hear.

  “Cal’s made his choice.”

  “I don’t believe that. You seem to be implying that he’s chosen Nicole over you and the children, and Jane, that simply isn’t so.”

  “Dovie—”

  “You said Nicole claimed she was seeing Cal. Just how trustworthy do you think this woman is?”

  “Annie trusts her.”

  “Oh, my dear, Annie hasn’t got a clue what’s happening. Do you seriously believe she’d stand by and let Nicole ruin your life if she knew what was going on? Right now all she’s thinking about is this new pregnancy and the changes it’ll bring about in her life. I love Annie, you know that. She’s a darling girl, but she tends to see the best in everyone. Weren’t you the one who told me about her first husband? You said everyone knew what kind of man he was—except for Annie. She just couldn’t see it.”

  “I…I haven’t discussed this with her.”

  “I can understand why. That’s probably a good idea, the situation being what it is,” Dovie said. “Now, let’s get back to this business about the lawyer. Making an appointment—was that something you really wanted to do?”

  “Actually my uncle Ken suggested I get some advice. He’s right, you know. I should find out where I stand legally before I proceed.”

  “Proceed with what?”

  “Getting my own apartment, joining my uncle’s medical practice, and…” She let the rest fade.

  “Filing for divorce,” Dovie concluded for her.

  “Yes.” Jane’s voice was almost inaudible.

  “Is a divorce what you want?” Dovie couldn’t believe that.

  “I don’t know anymore, Dovie. I just don’t know. Cal and I have had plenty of disagreements over the years, but nothing like this.”

  “All marriages have ups and downs.”

  “I’ve been gone nearly six weeks and I haven’t even heard from Cal. It’s almost as…as if he’s blotted me out of his life.”

  Dovie suspected that was exactly what he’d been trying to do, but all the evidence suggested he hadn’t been very successful. “What about you?” she asked. “Have you tried to reach him?”

  Jane didn’t want to answer; Dovie could tell from the length of time it took her to speak. “No.”

  “I see.” Indeed she did. Two stubborn hurting people intent on proving how strong and independent they were. “What about the children? Do they miss their father?”

  “Paul does the most. He asks about Cal nearly every day. Cal mailed him his blankey and…and he’s taken to sucking his thumb again.”

  “And Mary Ann?”

  “She’s doing well. I don’t think she realizes her father is out of the picture.”

  “You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”

  Jane breathed in deeply and Dovie realized she was holding back tears. “I can’t tell anymore, Dovie. She’s growing like a weed, and she looks so much like Cal.”

  “She deserves to know her father.”

  “And I deserve a husband.”

  “Exactly,” Dovie said emphatically. “Then what are you doing seeing an attorney?”

  “Cal will never do it. He’ll be content to leave things as they are. He seems to think if he ignores me long enough, I’ll come to my senses, as he puts it, and return home. But if I did that, I’m afraid everything would go back to the way it was before. My feelings wouldn’t matter. He’d see himself as the long-suffering husband and me as a jealous shrew. No, Dovie, I’m not going to be the one to give in. Not this time.”

&nbs
p; “So this is a battle of wills?”

  “No, Dovie, it’s much more than that.”

  Dovie heard the tears in her voice, and her heart ached for Jane, Cal and those precious children. “This is all because of Nicole Nelson,” she said.

  “Partially. But there’s more.”

  “There’s always more,” Dovie agreed.

  “I guess Nicole crystallized certain…problems, or made them more evident, anyway.” Jane paused. “She as good as told me she wants him.”

  That Dovie could believe. “So, being the nice accommodating woman you are, you’re just stepping aside and opening the door for her?”

  This, too, seemed to unsettle Jane. After taking a moment to consider her answer, she said, “Yes, I guess I am. You and everyone else seem to think I should fight for Cal, that I have too much grit to simply step aside. At one time I did, but just now…I don’t. If she wants him and he wants her, then far be it from me to stand between them.”

  “Oh, Jane, you don’t mean that!”

  “I do. I swear to you, Dovie, I mean every word.” She stopped and Dovie heard her blowing her nose, then, “I’m fine, sweetheart, go watch Mary Ann for me, all right?”

  “That was Paul?” Dovie asked. The thought of this little boy, separated from his father for reasons he didn’t understand, brought tears to her eyes.

  “Yes. He gave me a tissue.” She took a deep breath. “Dovie, I have to go now.”

  “Sounds like you’ve made up your mind. You’re keeping that appointment with the divorce attorney, then?”

  “Yes. I’ll be getting an apartment right after Christmas, and I’ll move in at the first of the year.”

  “You aren’t willing to fight for Cal.”

  “We’ve already been over this, Dovie. No, as far as I’m concerned, he’s free to have Nicole if he wants, because he’s made it quite plain he isn’t interested in me.”

  “Now, you listen, Jane Patterson. You’re in too much emotional pain to deal with this right now. You’ve just lost your father. That’s trauma enough without making a decision about your marriage. And isn’t it time you thought about your children?”