To Marry an English Lord

by gail maccoll

  To Marry an English Lord

  By Gail MacColl

  and

  Carol McD. Wallace

  WORKMAN PUBLISHING, NEW YORK

  For Peter Jarrett, my very own English husband, with love and thanks.

  G.L.M.

  With affectionate respect to the memories of Mrs. Wharton and Mr. James.

  C.McD.W.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Our heartfelt thanks to:

  Lynn Seligman, who always believed it was possible to place this book with a publisher who would understand it,

  that publisher, Peter Workman,

  and his amazing staff, including Sally Kovalchick, who made sense of it all; Charles Kreloff, who helped inspire us years ago; Kathy Herlihy-Paoli for the beautiful design; Rona Beame for the imaginative and thorough picture research; Lynn St. C. Strong who sorted out our transatlantic inconsistencies, and Bob Gilbert, who was unfailingly patient about logistics.

  We also gratefully received editorial advice, research assistance, reminiscences and hospitality from the following in Britain and America: Barbara and David Clague; the Countess of Craven; Mrs. John R. Drexel; Christian Lady Hesketh; Lord Hesketh; Hilary Hinzmann; Libby and Jonathan Isham; Lord Leigh; Victor Montagu; the Hon. Mrs. Charles Pepys; Gemma Nesbit; the Duke of Roxburghe; Sir Michael Culme-Seymour; and Liz Thurber.

  The staffs of the following institutions were remarkably helpful: the British Library; the Huntington Library, especially Mary Wright; the New York Public Library; the New York Society Library; the Newport Historical Society; the Newport Preservation Society; and the Redwood Library in Newport.

  And finally we thank our husbands, Rick Hamlin and Peter Jarrett, who provided in-house editorial advice and years of moral support.

  CONTENTS

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER 1

  THE BUCCANEERS

  Old New York

  The Cut Direct

  At Home on Washington Square

  The Mrs. Astor

  Rule Britannia

  At Home on Berkeley Square

  Their Noble Lordships

  The London Season

  Pushy Mamas

  Words for Those on the Outside Wanting In

  The Age of Revenge

  Wall Street Father No. 1: The Sporting Man

  The First Marriages

  The Wilson Family Scorecard #1: May & Ogden

  The Last Word

  Jennie Jerome, Lady Randolph Churchill

  CHAPTER 2

  THE FAIR INVADERS

  A Turn in the Tide

  Calling-Card Protocol

  The Wilson Family Scorecard #2: Orme & Carrie

  The Big Showdowns

  Audacity & Innocence

  The Genius of Clothes

  Wall Street Father No. 2: The Silent Partner

  The Top Dollars

  The Siege of London

  The Flip Side: Queen Victoria’s Court

  Fifth Avenue Meets the Peerage

  The Wilson Family Scorecard #3: Belle & Mungo

  Miss Daisy Miller

  The Competition

  Points in Her Campaign

  Poor Peers

  Estate Drains

  Rating a Mate

  Darling Daisy

  The Self-Made Girl’s Wedding

  Consuelo Vanderbilt, Duchess of Marlborough

  CHAPTER 3

  AMERICAN HEIRESSES: WHAT WILL YOU BID?

  He Stoops to Conquer

  The Other Astors

  The Princess Diana Connection

  Duke’s Progress: The English Lord’s American Journey

  The Plutocrats’ Daughters

  The Louis Fixation

  Wall Street Father No. 3: The Collector

  The Match of the Century

  Like Father, Like Son

  The Newport Schedule

  Doing the Continental

  Annus Mirabilis

  Let’s Make a Deal

  She Is Now a Duchess

  The Heiresses’ Newport

  The Wilson Family Scorecard #4: Grace & Neily

  The American Aristocrat’s Wedding

  The Vanderbilt-Whitney Show

  Cornelia Martin, Countess of Craven

  CHAPTER 4

  MARRIED HEIRESSES

  Happily Ever After

  Bringing Home the Bride

  A Room with a View

  American Wives & English Husbands

  Jennie Gets Pinned

  The Heir & the Spare

  “I Baptize Thee Albert Edward”

  Châtelaine, or Where the Money Went

  Upstairs, Downstairs

  A Place for Everyone

  Costume Changes

  Survival of the Fastest

  In the Public Domain

  The Glitter & the Gold

  Portrait of a Lady: Sitting to Sargent

  At Long Last, Love

  A Wealth of Style

  CHAPTER 5

  THE NEW HEIRESSES

  Vivat Bex

  Thoroughly Modern Jennie

  Earning a Title

  The Great Durbar

  Devonshire House Ball

  Entertaining Edward

  Taking the Measure

  The Crowning Touch

  Out of the Past

  “I thought everyone must know”

  The Last Marriages

  Court Curtsy

  “Are there any more like you at home?”

  Till Death or the Judge Do Us Part: The American Heiress Divorce

  Epilogue

  “A Hanging Offense”

  Elizabeth French, Lady Cheylesmore

  AN AMERICAN HEIRESS DIRECTORY

  Register of American Heiresses

  Other Distinguished 19th-century Englishmen with American Wives

  Brothers Who Married Heiresses

  Cousins Who Married Heiresses

  Father-Son Duos

  Once Is Not Enough!

  The Bridesmaid Connection

  Walking Tour of the American Heiresses’ London

  Bibliography/Selected Reading

  Index

  PROLOGUE

  On a bright fall day in 1860, three hundred thousand people, nearly half the population of New York City, stood jostling each other and craning their necks on either side of Broadway. They were waiting to catch a glimpse of the latest distinguished visitor to their metropolis, a slender, fair-haired nineteen-year-old who had captured the imagination of the populace. He was Albert Edward, Prince of Wales, and as his open barouche bowled down the street, the crowds cheered and waved their welcome.

  That was his greeting from the democratic masses. The upper-class welcome was fancier, though no less hysterical. A banquet had been proposed, but this idea was dimly received by the Prince’s suite. His Royal Highness had just left Canada, where he had been to so many banquets. He was awfully fond of dancing. Could there not be a ball to welcome him to New York?

  * * *

  Yes, dance with him, Lady,

  and bright as they are,

  Believe us he’s worthy

  those sunshiny smiles,

  Wave for him the flag

  of the Stripe and the Star,

  And gladden the heart

  of the Queen of the Isles.

  We thank you for all

  that has welcomed him—most

  For the sign of true love

  that you bear the Old Land:

  Proud Heiress of all

  that his ancestor lost,

  You restore it, in giving

  that warm, loving hand.

  Punch (1860)

  * * *

  The Prince of Wales is introduced to “Cousin Columbia” b
y “Lord Punch” in a cartoon published at the time of his American visit.

  * * *

  “Before the century is out, these clever and pretty women from New York will pull the strings in half the chanceries in Europe.”

  LORD PALMERSTON, British prime minister

  * * *

  So a ball there was. The select planning committee faced the invidious task of deciding just who in New York society was worthy of meeting the Prince of Wales. Never had there been such groveling, such angling, such pleading for invitations. And when, on the night of October 12, the four thousand chosen people succeeded in fitting themselves into the Academy of Music, another thousand un-chosen succeeded in joining them. The floor promptly collapsed, just as His Royal Highness was about to make his entrance, so the guests had to spend two hours milling around, examining each other’s toilettes (the Rhinelander emeralds, Mrs. Gardiner’s silver-and-coral dress from Worth, the new Paris dressmaker) as a swarm of carpenters made an ungodly racket hammering beneath them. The floor was repaired, the ball began, and though his dancing partners had been carefully chosen in advance, the Prince was mobbed by women—prim, well-bred Victorian ladies who would not let him alone. (“Not in strict accordance with good breeding,” sniffed the Duke of Newcastle, H.R.H.’s chaperon.) The Prince did not seem to mind.

  The face that launched a thousand daydreams. Every socialite in Manhattan wanted to say she’d danced with the Prince of Wales.

  The Academy of Music transformed into a vast ballroom. Right: The Prince portrayed by famous Civil War photographer Mathew Brady; an extremely valuable piece of pasteboard.

  It was the Prince’s first exposure to American women. His enthusiasm for them—and their reciprocal feelings for him—would have a profound effect on English society for the next fifty years.

  CHAPTER 1

  THE BUCCANEERS

  Old New York

  Rule Britannia

  Pushy Mamas

  The First Marriages

  OLD NEW YORK

  The dozen years that passed after the Prince of Wales’ visit to New York brought the Civil War and profound changes in the economy of America. But New York’s social patterns remained unruffled. For most of the nineteenth century, the city’s society was simple, comprising the families that had been there forever. They were known as “Knickerbockers,” after the knee-length trousers worn by early Dutch settlers from whom many of them were descended. In fact, New York’s social leaders could—with the sole addition of large neck-ruffs—have posed convincingly for portraits of seventeenth-century burghers. Conservatism, thrift, hard work and modesty ruled the day.

  The men were bankers, or lawyers, or heirs to mercantile concerns. Some of them had tidy fortunes produced by increasingly valuable Manhattan real estate. But however rich they might be, Knickerbocker families were never showy. The rows of brownstones between Washington Square and Gramercy Park were virtually uniform, with square parlors and suites of rosewood furniture and three sets of curtains at each window. On the dining room table was family silver, thin and worn from generations of use, and Chinese export porcelain. A maid would serve dinner and dust the knickknacks, a cook would manage the unadorned roasts, and a coachman, with a single horse, would convey the family to the opera.

  Left: One of New York’s endless rows of brownstones—pleasantly uniform or stiflingly monotonous, depending on one’s attitude.

  Right: The city seen from downtown, dominated by church steeples in more ways than one.

  COMME IL FAUT

  Dinner at seven is followed by after-dinner calls among old-fashioned New Yorkers.

  THE KNICKERBOCKER WAY OF LIFE

  Social occasions were also simple. Weddings often took place at home, followed by a “wedding breakfast.” A young girl’s début—when she was formally presented to society, i.e., to her parents friends—involved little more than donning a white dress, putting up her hair and receiving guests at a tea. Later she could accompany her parents to evening patties, where the entertainment included parlor games for the young people and cards for the grownups, with a bowl of punch and some shredded ham to punctuate the festivities. Dances meant rugs rolled back, furniture pushed to the wall, and a willing spinster pounding away on the piano. Ballrooms, in those days, were unheard of.

  On New Year’s Day, Knickerbocker males went from house to house calling on ladies of their acquaintance, who stayed put, looked pretty and poured punch.

  It was a stable way of life, and a secure one. The débutante, daydreaming in the dark parlor, could easily envision her future: two or three seasons of paying calls with Mama, looking at albums of Venice with young men at parties, blushingly sharing a hymnal at church, having her hand pressed meaningfully on the dance floor. A proposal, and marriage to an upstanding young banker or lawyer. Her own brownstone on a side street, and managing the house and children. Being a matron, and wearing elegant dark colors, perhaps even (if she’d chosen the right young banker) dresses from Paris, though they would have to lie unworn in trunks for a season or two to be right for New York—a Knickerbocker woman should not be too fashionable. A box for the opera at the Academy of Music; possibly a summer cottage; and, in time, a débutante daughter of her own, looking at albums of Venice with her best friend’s son.

  If life in Old New York was dull and predictable, the Knickerbocker families liked it that way. But this Eden of the bourgeoisie couldn’t last. In the 1860s, a whole new group of people began making money in industry—in armaments, in railroads, in preserved meats to feed the soldiers, in harvesters that freed workers from the fields. These enterprises made a lot of men very rich, very fast. And when they got rich, they came to New York.

  Some respectable Old New York families didn’t even bother to keep a horse and carriage, renting instead from a livery stable as the need arose.

  * * *

  Because it was considered vulgar to be “en avant de la mode,” ladies in Old New York either had their Paris dresses altered by their maids or stored them for a season or two before putting them on.

  * * *

  WORLDS IN COLLISION

  That New York was the social citadel, nobody doubted. Boston had evolved its own peculiar intellectual and sumptuary restrictions that took all the fun out of the high society game. Philadelphia had been left behind by commerce, and commercial money provided the new blood that kept the competition sharp. Washington, ever since the early, emphatic separation of politics from society (America was the only country in the world where having been born in a log cabin could be construed as a political advantage), was a backwater.

  * * *

  “A fortune of only a million is respectable poverty.”

  WARD MCALLISTER

  * * *

  So, wherever money was made and social aspiration followed, New York was the acknowledged Great Good Place. And though New Yorkers had known this for generations, they were taken aback by the sudden mass-market appeal of their hitherto quiet city. Suddenly, there were new carriages on the drives in Central Park. New faces appeared in the stalls at the Academy of Music (but not in the boxes, for these were handed from one generation to another). New names were heard on husbands’ lips, in connection with business downtown.

  THE CUT DIRECT

  DEFINITION: A social technique designed to express disapproval, reinforce superiority, demonstrate exclusivity; a very public snubbing. (“For reasons that you and I and everyone watching us comprehend, I do not choose to acknowledge your existence, despite our having met at tea/gone to finishing school together/ been bridesmaids at each other’s weddings.”)

  THE VICTIMS: Outsiders, either unsavory social climbers or former insiders who have let down the side.

  THE TECHNIQUE: Choose the most public place available—a ballroom, the opera house or Fifth Avenue. Make sure your intended victim sees you; establish eye contact if possible. Wait for a sign of acknowledgment—a nod, a raised hand, a smile. (This is important; if the victim ignores you, she may
feel she has been the cuttor and you the cuttee.) Approach—and sail past, stony-faced, as if the individual were not there. Do not look back to revel in discomfiture. That would be rude.

  The print edition of this book includes an image called At Home on Washington Square.

  Please download a PDF of this image here: workman.com/ebookdownloads

  Mrs. Astor’s house at 34th and Fifth had one of the few private ballrooms in New York. It held just four hundred people; hence, “the Four Hundred.”

  In black festooned with diamonds, Mrs. Astor receives her carefully selected guests. Her annual ball on a Monday in January defined the limits of New York’s élite.

  Naturally enough, these new people thought they might like to take part in the social life of New York. If the Knickerbocker menfolk could do business with the husbands, couldn’t the Knickerbocker ladies call on the wives? The answer was: Absolutely not. And nothing could make them. For New York society was run by women, and they were implacable in their distaste for new people. These arrivistes had no business upsetting the quiet, dignified, family-oriented city of prewar days. And they were so showy. Their womenfolk, for instance, were capable of wearing Paris dresses the instant the trunks from Worth cleared Customs. These people, with their new money still gritty from the mines or tacky with shoe polish, knew nothing of culture or manners, and certainly nothing of restraint. Why, August Belmont, who had married the perfectly respectable Caroline Perry, owned a gold-plated dinner service! Wasn’t china good enough? And what was the use of all that fancy French cooking when a brace of canvasback duck had kept gentlemen happy for decades?

  Clearly, something had to be done before these nouveaux riches achieved a critical mass and the sedate refinements of Old New York were lost forever in a welter of ostentation.

  NOBS VS. SWELLS

  At this time Knickerbocker society was led by Mrs. William Backhouse Astor, widely known as the Mrs. Astor, and she was seconded in her task of keeping order by a self-important Southerner named Ward McAllister. A man to whom social nuance was the very bread of life, McAllister came up with a grand idea for coping with the onslaught of new people. He organized a group called the Patriarchs, twenty-five New Yorkers who would give three balls each season beginning in the winter of 1872. Each Patriarch could invite four ladies and five gentlemen as his guests, vouching for their social acceptability. The goal was to redefine society, so that anyone consistently invited to the balls would be clearly In.