'Twas a Dark and Delicious Christmas

by Stacey Espino

  I mean, if I was going to freeze to death before the end of winter, I might as well go with a couple decent memories of the season.

  “You seem excited today.” Brady’s voice was little more than a whisper tickling at my skin as we wrangled a howling group of triplets toward Santa.

  I shrugged and jerked away from a vicious kick from the screaming boy. Somehow Brady had managed to calm down the kid’s two sisters. “I decided to hit Wonderland tonight.”

  “Really?” His eyes danced with mischief. “About time.”

  He picked up the boy and murmured something in his ear. The kid’s eyes widened and he stopped struggling as Brady put him on Santa’s lap.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, stepping out of the way so Daniel could take the picture. I watched as Jerri squeaked a toy over his head and Daniel’s big hands worked the camera, playing with it to get exactly what he wanted. For a moment I imagined him toying with me that way and had to shake it off to focus on Brady's words.

  “You work too hard. You’ve never missed a day. You come in for extra shifts whenever you can. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t have a life outside of the mall.”

  Irritation boiled below the surface of my skin. “Sure I do. I’m a beer hop at Bears’ games.” Heat flushed my cheeks as I realized I’d just used my other job as proof I had a life. “And I knit.”

  “Quite well too. Jerrica was showing off her scarf a couple weeks ago.” He inclined his head toward the triplets and we walked over, leading them out of the visiting area.

  “Thanks,” I muttered, unsure what to say. Brady seemed to know more about me than anyone else here. It went beyond my name. The knitting and lack of a life were things Jerri knew too, but...I couldn’t shake the feeling his comments the day before meant he was aware of just how broke I really was.

  The triplets’ mom collected them outside the gates, straightening her Gucci suit as she stood. “How did you ever manage to get them to sit still? They always fight my husband and I when we try to take pictures of them.”

  Brady’s eyes twinkled again, the tips of his elf ears poking up through his hair as he smiled. “Christmas secret. Right, kids?” All three of them nodded like their heads would fall off if they stopped.

  “Well, if you ever need a job, I’ve been looking for a nanny for months.”

  “Actually, Alana here is the real pro. She’s great with kids. I learned everything I know from her.” Brady’s hand fell on my back and pushed me forward.

  I plastered a smile on my face as my eyes went wide. “He’s exaggerating.” More like lying through his teeth. I was good, but he was a thousand times better with unruly kids.

  “Well, I’d love to talk to either of you about the position. It’s live-in. We have a lovely guest apartment over the garage...”

  “Hey, you two, a lot more kids want to see Santa before the mall closes. Can you finish it up?” Daniel said through teeth clenched in a grin.

  Sorry I mouthed at him.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” the woman said. “I’ll just leave my card here and you can give me a call if you’re interested.”

  I grabbed Brady's elbow as we walked back to the line of kids and squeezed it—hard—ignoring the little jolts of electricity racing through my arm at the contact. “What the hell was that? Did you see how her kids reacted to me? How half the kids react to me? They love you; they try to kill me.”

  He glanced at my fingers, his brows raised. “Not all of them. I think those three right there will adore you. You should call their mom. It could be just the miracle you were looking for.”

  Great. Someone else trying to fix me. I opened the gate and gripped the fingers of a sobbing three-year-old girl. Jerking my head toward her in a see-what-I-mean gesture, I said, “Sure, but it sounds more like a perfect fit for you.”

  He shrugged, taking the little girl’s other hand. “I would, but I have to get back to my other job.” The girl’s tears stopped in the few steps from the gate to Santa’s lap. He picked her up and settled her before turning back to me. “After all, a true elf’s work is never done.”

  He winked, and I kind of wanted to hit him. At least I knew better than to make a fool of myself by calling the woman in the Gucci suit, even with my degree in education. Then from behind me, I heard a chorus of “Bye, Alana!” and turned to see all three of the triplets smiling and waving. With my brows knit together, I lifted a hand and waved back.

  ****

  “That’s what you’re wearing?” Jerri’s voice grated like fingernails on a chalkboard.

  I closed my eyes, eyeliner pencil threatening to snap in my grip—which would have sucked, since I’d only finished one eye. “It’s what I have. Not all of us get to go out shopping on Daddy’s dime.”

  As soon as I said the words, I wanted to snatch them back out of the air. Jerri wasn’t always the most tactful person in the world, but she was the closest thing I’d had to a friend in the last few weeks. She didn’t deserve my bitchiness.

  I opened my mouth to apologize, but she giggled and said, “Well, girlie, that’s what you’ve got me for.” In the mirror I saw her yank a shopping bag from her locker and start rifling around in it. She lifted her head and shook it at me. “What are you waiting for? Ditch the craptastic jeans. If you want to look hot, you’re going to have to put up with freezing a little bit.”

  Ten minutes later I stared at my reflection, awed at the way Jerri made my golden brown waves glisten and my boring brown eyes pop. Then I wondered just which parts of me she was trying to turn to ice.

  She’d traded my jeans and lined winter boots for four-inch high Mary Jane platforms, fishnet stockings and a distressed denim skirt that barely covered my ass. I thanked my lucky stars I’d put on the hot boy shorts I saved for special occasions. She tried to squeeze me into a corset, but I had to draw the line somewhere. Jerri’s compromise was to undo most of the buttons on my top so it was only held together by the two closest to my boobs.

  After re-doing my makeup, she deemed me fit for public consumption and we strode out of the locker room. Well, she strode. I teetered for a while, my feet no longer used to wearing heels. A hand reached out and grabbed my arm just above the elbow, holding it firmly and sending tingles through my body.

  “Thanks,” I said, looking up with a smile, expecting Daniel. Instead of his deep brown eyes, I stared into the impossible blue of Brady’s.

  “No problem.” He kept hold of my arm. “Wouldn’t want you to fall over in the snow once we’re outside.”

  “We?” Jerri asked from Daniel’s side a few steps ahead. “You’re coming along too?”

  “Of course.”

  Daniel let out a laugh that didn’t affect me nearly as much as I thought it should. “It’s a special night when both our party-poopers decide to tag along.” He winked at me with an almost evil smile. “Should be fun. Let’s roll before the line gets too long.”

  Jerri linked her arm in one of his when we were outside and I took the other. Between Daniel and Brady holding me up, the idiotic shoes didn’t feel nearly as scary, even on the ice. Halfway to Wonderland, Jerri started humming Christmas carols. I rolled my eyes, but then Brady began singing along and my heart almost stopped with the beauty of his voice. It rang crystal clear in the frigid air, soaring over the sound of cars passing on the slushy road. It was as if the choirs of heaven blessed him with the voice of an angel.

  Then again, that might’ve been overstating things. After all, he was singing Jingle Bells.

  Jerri and Daniel joined in, shattering the brilliant tones and shaking me back to reality. While they howled at the moon, Brady leaned in close and whispered in my ear, “Don’t feel like singing?”

  A long time ago, my voice would have risen above all of theirs, filling the night with my holiday joy. Now, Christmas carols just served as painful reminders of those days. “Not really.”

  “You will.” Without another word, he squeezed my hand and went righ
t back to the song. I edged toward him so I could hear him better. His voice almost managed to chase away the shadows surrounding me.

  Before I knew it, we were standing in front of Wonderland, facing down a bouncer. “I thought the show was last night,” I said, as he demanded thirty dollars for the cover charge—normally Wonderland was only five and girls often got in free.

  “It was—” he growled, checking our IDs and taking cash from Jerri and Daniel, “—but Taye’s flight got delayed, so he had to cancel. He’s here tonight though.”

  The man turned to me and Brady, and all those body parts I’d feared for froze in an instant. I didn’t have thirty bucks to spare. Biting the inside of my lower lip, I shook my head and backed away. “Sorry, guys, I...” I what? Did I really want to admit I couldn’t afford the cover? The last thing I wanted was more of their pity. I could pretend Jerri loaning me the clothes was something else, but...

  “You coming?” Brady tugged on my arm and winked. I got this one, he mouthed so no one else could see.

  So much for avoiding pity. But now that he’d already paid, I couldn’t exactly walk away either. Somehow I’d pay him back. It might take until next Christmas, but I didn’t want to owe him. I didn’t want to owe anyone.

  I forced a smile and let him lead me inside. Already people were claiming booths, cramming into the seats closest to the stage. The dance floor held only a few gyrating bodies willing to risk not having a place to sit. I had to admit, the DJ was spinning mixes of holiday music that made me want to join them. I wasn’t sure my feet could handle standing all night though. I’d already been on them for twelve hours.

  Daniel wove us through the crowd to an empty table. “We’re going to have to hang out for a while before the show starts, but it could be worse. Why don’t I grab everyone some drinks? My treat.” He flashed me a thousand-watt smile, and I decided to forgo my non-drinking plan for one round.

  We all gave him our orders and the boys went off to elbow their way through to the bar. “So are you finally planning to make a move on Daniel?” Jerri twisted a curl around her finger.

  I craned my neck to locate the guys and make sure they weren’t going to sneak up on our conversation. “I think so. I’m still not convinced he’s interested.”

  She whacked me on the arm with the back of her hand. “Trust me. He is.”

  They were headed back toward us, drinks in hand, so I shushed Jerri. “Okay, I’ll give it a shot.”

  “Give what a shot?” Brady asked as he slid into the booth next to me.

  Ever-astute Jerri stood up. “We made a pact to try not to do the normal girl thing of going to the ladies’ room together. And speaking of, I will be right back.” She walked off, her hips swaying in time to the music blaring over the loud speakers.

  Daniel watched her go, then shook his head and eased across the vinyl-padded seat toward me. “I will never understand women.”

  Opening. “What do you want to know?”

  “Me, personally? I'd like to know what goes on in a woman’s head when she sees a guy she’s interested in.” Brady sipped at his drink—something with peppermint. It smelled so good I didn’t really want my Captain and Coke anymore.

  “I want to know everything—” Daniel laughed, “—but let’s start with the bathroom thing. Why do chicks always go together?”

  “So we can talk about you of course.” My cheeks flushed with heat as both guys moved in closer. I don’t know what the hell Jerri was doing in the bathroom, but she didn’t sit back down until the band started warming up. Her arrival signaled the end of me divulging secrets to Brady and Daniel. Then again, with how loud the band was already, they wouldn’t have heard me anyway.

  Brady went to get another round of drinks and when he sat back down, he slid one of his peppermint concoctions in front of me, nudging my barely touched C and C out of the way. As Taye Bolden stepped on stage, the place exploded in cheers. The hometown boy had come back just for us—and his share of the cover charge. He’d probably make enough in the next couple hours to pay my rent for a good chunk of the year. Or longer.

  I gave a deep sigh as the bass started thumping and the guitar chords reverberated through the air. For the first couple songs, I tried to pull myself out of the I’m-so-broke funk, but by the third one, I could feel Brady watching me. It was just a little tickle along the side of my neck—a constant reminder of him and everything he knew.

  “Hey, Brady, let’s dance.” Jerri stood, straightened her corset and grabbed his hand, tearing him from the seat. They disappeared into the gyrating crowd.

  Daniel slid closer to me, but the other side of me felt strangely chilled. I rubbed my hands up and down my right arm trying to warm it. Then Daniel draped his arm around my shoulders and took over the motion. “Cold?”

  All I could focus on were his fingers on my skin, points of heat against my goose bumps. My heart skipped a beat. Or two. Okay, several. Maybe Jerri had been right all along. “Yeah. A little.”

  “Why don’t we move this onto the floor? I can hold you closer there.”

  The thought of his arms around me, hips pressed against mine, while we danced, started a tiny ache between my legs, and I felt moisture seep onto my panties. “Okay.”

  The night had just started and already I didn’t think I’d survive if it ended with anything less than him in my bed, or me in his. I tried to ignore the sense of emptiness that lingered on my right side, and the chill that refused to be chased away.

  Daniel lifted my fingers and guided me onto the dance floor.

  “What about the table?”

  He ignored the question and wrapped his arms around me, hands coming to rest on the small of my back. His fingers brushed the top of my ass, and then he pulled me in tight against him. Everything but the primal thumping of the bass disappeared while we danced and the length of his hard-on pressed against me. God, I wanted him so bad.

  As the song ended, he leaned down like he was going to kiss me, but shifted his head to the side and whispered in my ear, “So how much is it going to take?”

  I leaned against his chest, sucking in a deep breath of his cologne. He smelled good, even as part of me yearned for a different scent. “What are you talking about?” I asked dreamily.

  His hands reached down and cupped my ass, lifting the too-short skirt enough that I felt the breeze from people passing by chilling my damp panties. “I’ve heard you need money, so how much is it going to cost for me to tap this.” He reached between my legs and grabbed at me.

  My eyes went wide and I could barely breathe. “What?”

  With one hand still grabbing my ass, he tipped my chin up with the other. “I want to fuck you, Allie. How much cash do you need to make it happen?”

  I hadn’t heard him wrong. The guy I’d mooned over for weeks just called me a whore. I shoved him backward as the music started again. “Nothing!” I shouted over the speakers. “Because you just fucking blew any chance you had.”

  There was no point in waiting for a response. He couldn’t say anything to fix this.

  I raced from the club and out into the frigid night. My feet slipped all over the icy sidewalk; with no men holding me up, the platforms were worse than useless. What little I’d had to drink churned in my stomach, threatening to come back out. Tears stung at my eyes, freezing on my cheeks as they fell. While the wind bit at my arms and legs, I choked back a sob. I’d left everything in the club, and I hadn’t bothered getting a stamp on my way out. Even if I felt brave enough to go back inside and face him long enough to get my things, I couldn’t.

  I wrapped my arms tight around myself and tried to inch my way toward home, sure I’d never make it before the cold got to me. Then my left heel caught a patch of ice and I slammed down on my ass, my ankle screaming in pain.

  I couldn’t even get up; I just sat there and sobbed.

  Suddenly, a weight dropped across my shoulders, warm and inviting. I glanced up to find Brady there, my purse in one hand, the other reach
ing out to me. Biting my lip to try to hold back the tears, I forced my fingers to bend around his.

  He tugged me to my feet and slipped his own gloves over my hands. “Let’s get you home,” he whispered, as he wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me, his voice soothing once again.

  I nodded, but when I tried to take a step, my ankle buckled under me and a tiny cry of pain escaped my lips.

  Brady clenched his jaw tight and glared back toward the club. “What the hell did he do to you?” The streetlights danced on his cheekbones and lit an angry fire in his blue eyes.

  I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears, my teeth still chattering from the way the wind raced up the ridiculous skirt. “Does it matter?”

  “I guess not.” The next thing I knew, Brady had swept me up into his arms, cradling my body against the warmth of his.

  Clinging to him, I whispered against his chest, “Why’d you chase me? I thought you were having fun with Jerri.”

  The wind tried to snatch away his voice. “The only reason I went out at all was because of you, Alana.” He bent his head toward mine. “Just rest. I’ll have you home soon.”

  But I couldn’t relax. I kept replaying the smiles, the brush of his hand against mine as we worked, the things he knew or had gone out of his way to find out. Even my own reactions to him: the way my skin tingled when he touched me, the chill when he left my side. God, I’d been an idiot.

  ****

  Somehow Brady managed to jerk open the metal grate to my building and kick the main door wide without dropping me. The fact that he didn’t need to ask my apartment number should have freaked me out, but it didn’t. With everything else he knew it wasn’t really a surprise. Besides, the shock from Daniel had numbed me from everything except Brady’s presence. The warm tingles racing over my skin and chasing away the cold were the only thing reminding me I was alive.