by Becky Norman
The patch of grey hair was larger. He’d noticed. The significance of that had yet to be determined – if there were any significance at all. He tried to quell the expectation of what he thought it meant. Anticipating things wouldn’t help. In fact it might hinder their relationship. But his heart still beat a little more rapidly at the thought of it and he set the pen down, taking a deep breath, concentrating on the exhale.
“Don’t push, Noel,” he corrected himself. “What will be, will be.”
He chuckled and began whistling Que Sera, Sera as he finished the list.
**********
The sun was just rising as Lori reached the barn the following morning. The rays hit the pine boards, causing them to glow a warm red-orange-yellow. She belatedly remembered that she’d never gotten curtains for the window upstairs; she’d have to remember to do that so Noel wasn’t blinded by daylight while he was here.
She slid the barn door back as quietly as she could, not wanting to wake him so early if she could help it. The horses gave her a soft whicker in greeting and she went to them on tiptoe, resting a hand on their heads as a hello. She cast a quick glance at the loft stairs on her way past, still creeping on the balls of her feet to the feed room. Bear was sitting at the top of the stairs in the shadows around the door. He stood and stretched nonchalantly, then made his way down for his own breakfast.
Lori moved quietly around the feed room kitchen, scooping the horses’ beet pulp into buckets and setting it to soak then pouring some kibble into Bear’s bowl and setting it near her feet. He came over immediately and began to eat; Lori watched him for a moment then knelt down and ran her fingers across his head. He flinched slightly and stepped back a pace, watching her. She extended her fingers and he came forward again to sniff her then allowed her another brief pat before resuming his feast.
Lori shook her head and stood to continue her preparations. She didn’t know how Noel had done it, befriending that cat so quickly. He obviously had some talent with felines, though. It was that demonstration yesterday with Bear that had clinched her trust in Noel and prompted her to offer the loft as a place to stay. Shannon would freak, she thought with a grin as she picked up both canisters of vitamin supplements for Ebony and Piper and set them near the soaking beet pulp. And there was no way she’d be able to explain the feeling of comfort she had to Shannon. You either had trust or you didn’t.
She pulled out a couple of flakes of hay for the horses and went back down the aisle of the dimly-lit barn. Both Ebony and Piper gave another subterranean greeting as she dropped a flake in each stall then they quickly settled to purposeful munching of their breakfast. Lori rested her elbows on Piper’s half-door and leaned in to look at him. The sound of their eating was so peaceful she could stand there forever listening to it. She enjoyed this early-morning ritual and usually dedicated at least ten minutes to “commune” with the horses in this way before starting all the manual chores.
It was different this morning, though – there was no denying it. Her knowledge of the man upstairs was pervasive. Funny how another person’s presence could cause such a hush to descend not just over the physical environment but also on her spirit. She felt a strange blend of utter calm and sheer excitement that seemed to be the “norm” when she was around Noel.
Lori had only dated a couple of other guys before she met Cody and he so filled her world when he entered it that she hadn’t looked back after that point. She wouldn’t exactly say she found Noel attractive, but she was definitely attracted to him. The distinction was subtle, but there. He had an energy that drew her in, but it also made her flustered and self-conscious.
He was good-looking, she supposed, but definitely not her “type.” She preferred the glowing, sun-kissed looks of Cody, his baby face that had invited her to squeeze his cheeks and cuddle up against him. In contrast, Lori thought Noel was probably a good deal older than she, though she couldn’t be certain. The thought of squeezing his cheeks was preposterous and keeping a distance seemed a much more prudent course with such an enigma. Besides which, Noel clearly had an unfettered, roaming lifestyle. Getting too attached to a guy like him would bring nothing but heartache to somebody who had commitments to the land.
Lori broke from her reverie and pushed away from Piper’s door. It didn’t matter what Noel’s lifestyle was like, anyway, she reasoned. He was only here to do a job for her and then he’d be on his way again. No harm done to either of them and certainly no reason to get worked up when he was with her. You’re just not used to being around single men, Lori chided herself with a rueful grin. You definitely need to get out more, girl.
**********
A small smile lit Noel’s face as he heard the barn door slide open downstairs. He was sitting in his own version of the lotus position on the floor in the loft, his fingertips all touching as they met in front of his heart. She was awake, then, and trying to be quiet on his account. She wouldn’t know that he had been awake for an hour already, greeting the morning with the meditation he used as a discipline and focus. Clarity was always his goal and “touching base” with a Higher Source was important to him. It was also necessary when a woman that spoke so directly to his soul was tiptoeing around directly below him. The smile blossomed over his face, until he was beaming with joy and he rolled out of the posture, got to his feet.
He chose a green tea with honey to start his day, along with a granola bar and banana. He lifted one of the kitchen chairs and carried it to the window. He respected the quiet Lori was trying to achieve downstairs and honoured it by being silent, too. He sat and looked out on the lawn, where the sun’s early rays were casting long shadows from the house. There were a thousand birds nearby, singing their dawn chorus; Noel opened the window to hear them more clearly. This was a nice place to be, he thought. And a nice place To Be, as well. Once the fear was eradicated, it could even be Paradise.
He heard her running water, stirring buckets, dumping them into stalls as he finished his fruit and drained his cup of tea. He rinsed the mug in the sink, put on his hat and suede, fringed jacket, and took one final, calming breath. Then he went downstairs to greet her.
**********
“Good morning,” she said as he peeked around the corner of the feed room and caught her eye.
“That it is,” he answered with a subdued, kind voice, walking into the room. “How can I help?”
“Oh, you don’t have to do anything, Noel. The horses are just about finished eating. I was going to ask you, though, if you thought I should put them back in the indoor arena or turn them out in the pasture? I wanted to do some work with Ebony this morning since she hasn’t been touched by me in a long time and I would normally do that in the outdoor ring, but with the cougar nearby...”
“I think you should do what you normally do. If you’d prefer to be outside, then choose that. I’m here now – if the cat comes because of the horse, so much the better. We can take care of things once and for all and as I’ve told you, you’re all safe.”
Lori nodded thoughtfully.
“Alright. Then I’ll turn Piper out in the outdoor ring and work with Ebony in the roundpen, which is inside the ring. That way, they’re both close by and if the cougar shows up, I can always get them into the indoor arena quickly, too.”
“Would you mind if I watched, Lori? I’ve always loved horses from a distance, but never really understood them. I guess I can relate to the predator way of thinking better than I could their prey.”
Lori raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Yeah. Sure. I wouldn’t mind the company.”
Noel was smiling at her. “Why are you acting so surprised?”
Lori ducked her head and grinned, looking away. “I don’t know – I just thought you’d be bored watching me. And you seem to have a way with animals – I’m just surprised you think you don’t understand them.”
“Well, I didn’t say all animals. Just horses.�
� He winked at her. “But I’m willing to learn.”
“Okay. I’ll tell you what,” Lori said, suddenly inspired. “I teach people a bit about my training methods while I work, so I’ll try to fill you in on some of the things I’m doing, if you want. And you can help – I’ll have you lead Piper over while I lead Ebony.”
“Sounds great,” Noel said whole-heartedly.
Lori wasn’t certain why Noel said he didn’t understand horses. Both Piper and Ebony fell in love with him instantly. Noel’s quiet and calm demeanour was a magnet as he stood near them in the barn aisle, letting them nuzzle his hair and sniff around his neck and back while Lori got Ebony’s draft saddle out of the tack room. She smiled as he tenderly guided Ebony’s questing lips away from his nose, discouraging her pushiness with a gentle hand.
The question came as she was cinching up the saddle, so she had a blessed moment or two to compose herself with her back turned to him.
“Lori, you said you haven’t touched Ebony in a long time; why is that?” he asked out of pure curiosity.
She stiffened slightly and tugged on the cinch harder than was necessary, causing Ebony to shuffle in protest. Lori relaxed her hands and patted the big black in apology.
“Well, Ebony’s not technically my horse. She was my husband’s. He died this summer in a plane crash.” She silently cursed herself for allowing her voice to crack on “died.”
She ran a hand under the Percheron’s belly, feeling for the flank cinch at the back of the saddle and ignoring the silence that was coming from behind her.
“Ah,” Noel finally responded, as though some elemental question had just been answered.
Lori waited for the inevitable “I’m sorry” that was sure to follow, but it didn’t come. She glanced over at him after sliding the strap through the buckle but he was admiring the mare’s head and seemed finished with the subject. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset by his lack of response.
“I’m – uh – going to go get her bridle, but we’ll lead them over with their halters and lead ropes, okay?” She looked at him, disconcerted by his lack of curiosity regarding Cody’s death. With most people, she had to force them to stop talking about it by changing the subject herself.
Noel straightened Piper’s forelock, then ran his hand down her horse’s nose. “No problem.”
They walked in a companionable silence to the outdoor arena after Lori showed Noel the proper way to lead Piper – where to stand, how to hold the rope...all the basic actions that Lori took for granted every day. After they had turned the little bay loose in the arena, Lori invited Noel to stand at the roundpen rails and watch her do basic “join up” with Ebony.
Because it was old hat to her by now, she began with her explanation of predators versus prey and how horses think in relation to their world while Ebony jogged around the pen on her own, acclimating herself to this new environment. Lori told Noel about the horse’s vision and how, unlike humans – and cats – horses saw out of both eyes separately and that neither side was associated with the other. Noel was fascinated by that; Lori could see the realization of the meaning of it wash over his face. It was literally a completely different way of looking at everything in your world when you realized horses couldn’t focus the way humans did: horses saw things change shape and size depending on where the object was in their vision; horses saw better far away when their heads were low to the ground. He even exclaimed in surprise when she told him that horses had blind spots directly behind and in front of them so that when a dog moved from the left side of the horse to the right, the horse literally thought the “left dog” had disappeared and suddenly a “right dog” had emerged.
As Lori talked, Noel watched every move Ebony made in fascination. He asked questions about why the mare did the things she did, as he sought to understand her behaviours. Why was she pawing? That lowering of the head, then twisting it into the air as though she were flinging the hair out of her eyes...what did that mean? Was there a reason that she snorted when she did? Why wasn’t she whinnying? Noel thought horses always whinnied from what he’d seen on TV.
Lori educated Noel on basic horse behaviours for awhile then explained what “roundpenning” was all about before stepping into the pen with her stick and string and getting down to business. As she began to work with the pushy, overweight mare in earnest, she forgot about Noel entirely, lost in reading the moves of the horse and dancing in that graceful ballet with a one-ton animal.
**********
It was like watching a choreographed dance, Noel decided. Lori was clearly brilliant at what she did. Her feel for what the horse was going to do next was amazing; whatever signals the mare was giving her, they were invisible to Noel. He wondered how Lori knew when to rush towards the big animal and when to back off and leave her be. She clearly had a sixth sense when it came to reading the moods and movements of horses.
He also knew that he had the same ability with predators – cats in particular. He found it amusing and ironic that he would be drawn to someone so like him and yet so different at the same time. Always the yin and yang came into effect. Everywhere he looked, he saw it in his life.
Piper had come up behind him where he leaned his arms against the roundpen rail, sniffing at the back of his hat and shoulders. In other days, he would have been frightened by such a large, unknown animal invading his space in such a way but he felt a gentleness around this horse that assured him the company was purely curiosity. He also trusted Lori’s demonstrated abilities – she wouldn’t have put him in harm’s way by turning a horse loose in the same arena with him that would attack. Instead, he said a few quiet things in his native language to acknowledge the horse’s presence without frightening it and kept his eyes riveted on Lori.
Even with the old cowboy hat on – and the long-sleeved tee and torn jeans – she was still beautiful to him. He noticed today that her nose turned up slightly at the tip and that she had a small mole on her left jaw line, close up by her ear. All the little distinctions that made her unique were starting to reveal themselves to him and Noel delighted in discovering each one. He observed deeply, in joy.
The powerful black mare trotted past him, along the fence, blocking his vision for a moment. He could literally feel the earth tremble with the thud of her large feet. His hand ached to reach out and touch the curve of the horse’s shoulder, the arc of the neck muscle but the mare had already thundered past and Lori came into view again in the center of the circle. She stepped forward, in front of the mare’s “drive line,” as Lori had explained earlier to Noel, and drew the mare towards her by backing up quickly and beckoning her with a finger.
Ebony turned in, off the circle, and trotted eagerly up to Lori, huffing a bit from the exercise. Lori turned away from her, faced Noel and winked at him. He smiled back instinctively.
“She sure needs to lose some weight – listen to her wheeze,” she said with a chuckle.
Ebony tucked her head into Lori, where arm and back provided the perfect hiding spot and Lori leaned back against the mare in recognition for a second before walking away.
“You want to lure them into following you,” she told Noel. “The more you walk away from them or keep them from having something, the more they want it.”
“Reverse psychology,” he offered.
“Yes,” she affirmed. “They can’t stand to be left out. Once they get over their fear, anyway.”
I’ll remember that, Noel thought to himself as Lori walked over to him, followed by the Percheron.
“I think that’s a good start – I’ll probably just desensitize her for a bit now to the stirrups flapping around her and then we can turn her loose with Piper.”
“You’re not going to ride?” Noel asked, cocking his head to the side.
“No, not today. She needed some groundwork first.”
“But you saddled her up,” Noel pointed out.
“The saddle is just par
t of the process,” Lori explained. “Ebony should get used to that happening every day, whether I ride her or not. If it’s just part of the daily routine, then she won’t resent it or anticipate that I’m going to ride her every time I put it on. Some horses get funny about that – if it means hard work and you follow the same routine every day, they start to resent the routine.”
“That makes sense.”
He was struck by Lori’s patience as she continued flapping the stirrups in a steady rhythm against the mare’s sides until the prancing Percheron stopped and relaxed. It took several minutes on the “off” side – the one most people didn’t stand on when working around a horse. Lori had explained to him that because horses saw out of both eyes separately, you had to do every exercise on both sides or one side could get dull and lazy and the other could be a highly reactive, almost “wild” horse.
When the mare finally took a deep breath and cocked a leg on her right side, Lori dropped the stirrup, rubbed Ebony’s neck, and looked over to Noel.
“Do you see how nervous she is with the stirrup flapping around her and making noise?”
Noel nodded.
“That’s why I didn’t ride her yet – can you imagine if that had been my leg flapping against her side? She would have tried everything in her power to get the scary thing off her back, namely me.”
Noel grinned at her. “Somehow, I think you might have lost that battle.”
Lori laughed in agreement. “Somehow, I think so, too. I’m a pretty good rider, but 1800 pounds of horse can be pretty persuasive.”
Lori joined Noel on the outside of the roundpen when she was finished and took off Ebony’s saddle and halter so she could play with Piper. The two horses did a quick sprint to the end of the arena and back as the vulnerable humans scooted out from under the rail then Ebony stopped abruptly and began nosing around the sand.
Noel gestured with his chin at the horse. “What do you think she smells?” he asked.
Lori glanced over at Ebony and shook her head slightly. “She’s just checking out the spot where she’s going to roll.”
Noel watched, bemused, as a few moments later Ebony did, in fact, kneel down and begin rolling her large body around, grunting in contentment as she did so.
