by Becky Norman
“How did you know she was going to do that?” he demanded.
Lori shrugged with a pleased expression on her face. “Experience. Saddles are sweaty, sand is scratchy...one plus one equals two.” She turned away from the horses and began to walk to the back porch.
“Would you like a drink, Noel? I could do with a pop myself.”
He turned from watching the massive black horse, now heaving herself up to a sitting position, and followed Lori to the back porch.
“That would be great, thanks. But do you have any juice? I’m not a big fan of so much sugar, caffeine and carbonation.”
“Em, yeah. I think I’ve got some cranberry juice yet?”
“That would be great.”
He waited on the steps of the back porch until she returned with the beverages, then sat down next to her in one of the Muskoka chairs that were arranged by the barbeque.
“So if horses are such conscious prey animals, I would think they don’t feel comfortable rolling like that. It’s a pretty vulnerable position to be in for them, isn’t it?”
Lori took a sip of her cola and nodded. “Definitely. If you noticed, Piper was standing guard while she did it. Unless a horse is sick, they won’t roll until they’re absolutely certain it’s safe.”
“How do you know if a horse is rolling because they’re sick or if it just feels good?” Noel asked before taking a drink of the juice. It was tart and cold and felt good going down his dusty throat.
“Horses will usually only roll if it feels good in a few different situations. Sand is a definite allurement – so is snow and for some horses, water. And if it’s a hot day or they’re sweaty from exercise, they love to roll. But most horses will roll at least once a day – they’ve done studies to show that it actually helps them realign their spines. It’s almost like they’re giving themselves a chiropractic adjustment.”
“Really,” Noel said in astonishment. “Maybe I should join them then.”
Lori gave him a wistful smile. “My husband – Cody – used to do that,” she said softly. “He would play around with them and then when one of them would stop and roll he would move to a safe distance and do it along with them. It always made me laugh.”
He watched her quietly to see how she was handling that memory; she seemed to tear up a bit but wasn’t in a state of hysteria. He leaned forward – no mean feat in a Muskoka chair – and gave her the comfort of his presence.
“Did he have the same gift with horses that you do?” he asked when she had swallowed down the tears.
“His was more the ability to see horse talent and match it to someone’s experience level,” she answered then tentatively added, “You think I have a gift?”
“Of course you do,” he stated. “And you know it, deep down. You just haven’t embraced it fully yet.”
“Embraced it?” she asked, then drank again.
“You haven’t owned it. Called it your own.” He brushed some dust off his jeans then looked up at her. “Can you say you’re good at it yet?”
She looked at him sceptically then shook her head. “No.”
Noel looked at her in challenge. “Why not?”
Lori pulled her shoulders up closer to her ears in defence. “I don’t know. It sounds arrogant.”
Noel grunted softly. “Do you believe in God, Lori?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Do you think that God gave you your ability with horses?”
Lori looked over towards the horses, deep in thought. “I guess so. I mean, I was born with an innate interest in them. But my parents helped develop that interest...and Cody and Shannon and other riding instructors have helped, too.”
“Do you think God might have put those people in your life for a reason?”
She turned back to look at him, mulling the question over. “I guess He did.”
“So if God put the desire in you and then gave you the means of developing that desire, is it really so arrogant to say you’re now good at it? Don’t you think you should be after all that guidance?”
A smile twitched around the corner of her mouth. “I guess so.”
Noel laughed and shook his head. “You guess a lot of things.”
In complete shock to Noel, Lori stuck her tongue out at him. The gesture went through him like a bolt of joy. He grinned; sure she would be able to see the light flooding out of him if he wasn’t careful.
“Don’t pick on me,” she said light-heartedly. “You’re making me think more than I’ve done in months.”
Noel reached over and touched his glass to hers. “Welcome aboard,” he said.
Chapter 10
Lori was on the phone with Rita Dennymede when Noel appeared at the back door. She waved to him and gestured she was on the phone, encouraging him to come in on his own. He entered, looking around him in fascination as he pulled off his boots.
“So listen, Lori,” Rita was reiterating for the hundredth time during the call, “have your parents’ lawyer look everything over and decide this week, okay? If you’re going to be a part of the class-action lawsuit, you’ll have to fill out some forms and get them back to me.”
Lori cradled the phone against her ear and mimed to Noel lifting up a coffee cup. Did he want some of that or tea? He waved her off and gestured she should finish her conversation.
“I will, Rita. Honestly,” she assured the older woman. “I’m not saying I couldn’t use the money, but it just seems so excessive...”
“Lori, you have to ask for double what you want or you won’t even get a quarter of what you need. That’s how it works – don’t learn that after it’s too late.”
“Okay. Alright. My dad definitely likes what your lawyers have put together – he wants me to file under your suit so send over the paperwork and we’ll get it filled out.”
“Good girl. Thank you.”
Lori turned away from Noel and lowered her voice slightly. “Now, how are you, Rita? Really?”
There was an awkward silence from the other end of the phone and Lori strained to hear what she couldn’t see. “I’m fine,” a shaky voice asserted. “It’s getting easier every day.”
“Okay,” Lori said, feeling somewhat deflated by Rita’s refusal to acknowledge any emotion. “You take care of yourself, Rita, alright? And call me anytime you need.”
“I will, darling,” Rita confirmed before hanging up.
Lori disconnected then turned back to Noel. She figured she shouldn’t have been surprised to see that both the kittens were lying at his feet, stretched out and getting belly rubs from a crouching Noel. “Sorry about that,” she said.
Noel waved her off. “No need to apologize – I’m sorry if you had to cut your conversation short.”
“I didn’t. Or rather, I was willing to talk longer, but Rita wasn’t. She’s a widow, too – her husband was travelling with Cody when their plane went down.”
Noel looked up from his spot on the floor, Luke still wrapped around his forearm in mock attack. “‘Widow,’ hm? That’s a pretty heavy word.”
Lori’s brows drew down in consternation. “Well, that’s what we are. Would you rather we be called something else?”
Noel extricated himself from the kitten and stood up. “It’s just difficult to match a word like that with someone in their 20’s.” He shrugged. “Like I said, it’s a heavy word. There’s a lot of loss associated with it.”
Lori nodded, trying to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. “There is a lot of loss associated with it. I know.”
Noel looked down and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the defensive. I’m not criticizing you. I can’t even begin to comprehend what you went through this summer – or what you’re still going through. You don’t seem pleased about something she said, though. There’s a lawsuit pending?”
Lori eyed him cautiously. “There is.” She walked to the kitch
en and grabbed the kettle. “Are you sure you don’t want some tea? Or coffee? I was going to make myself a cup of Earl Grey. I have red rooibos and mint, though, too.”
Noel followed her and leaned up against the counter. “Oh, I’ll take a rooibos, please.”
Lori regarded him from the other side of the counter as she filled the kettle with water. He had showered recently; his uncovered black hair was shiny, with streaks of a healthy blue visible in the waves that fell almost to his shoulders. He’d tidied up his beard, as well – his cheeks were shaved clean and the Vandyke was neatly trimmed. She also noticed he was sporting a beautiful sterling silver ring on the third finger of his right hand, done in the geometric patterns so beloved by the native Canadians in the area.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking,” he started in a conciliatory tone, “but you don’t seem too happy about the lawsuit. Is something wrong?”
Lori turned off the water and set the kettle to boil. “Not wrong, no. The airline was clearly at fault – there were some major mistakes made during inspections and they actually let the plane fly, knowing the auto pilot wasn’t working properly. It’s just...well, Rita is the head of this class-action lawsuit and she’s angry. She wants revenge. And she’s asking for a lot of money. A lot.”
Noel rested one arm on the counter, lifting his hand up to his chin to rest it there. His ring shone in the sunlight coming in from the dining room window. “So you would get part of this money?”
Lori nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I can choose not to take part in the class-action suit and settle with the airline privately. But my parents – my dad, in particular – think it makes just as much sense to join with Rita. And then, too, Rita’s not going to back down, so if I do choose to settle individually, the airline will have even more money to pay out. But all I want is enough to keep this place – I’m not looking for millions.”
Lori dropped the tea bags in the mugs and placed the sugar and creamer containers between them.
“Millions, hm?” Noel asked.
Lori nodded.
“Do you ever get the feeling, Noel, that things are happening around you that you have no control over?” She had asked it lightly but he was serious when he answered.
“I used to. All the time.”
“So what changed?”
“A few things. I started listening to that little voice inside that told me when I was on the right track. And then I stayed on that track to the best of my ability. And when circumstances bumped me off the track, I got back on it as soon as I could. Pretty soon, I didn’t get bumped off anymore. But it took discipline. And consciously thinking about it, being aware of what was happening.”
Lori looked at him dubiously. “That sounds complicated.”
Noel lowered his hand and placed the other on the table alongside it. “Not really. It was just a matter of deciding what I wanted and then staying focused on it.”
Lori turned away to grab the kettle then brought it back to fill the two cups. The sound of the liquid purling in the mugs was loud in the room.
“But what about something like this? I mean, having my husband killed in a plane crash is a pretty big bump off the track, wouldn’t you say?”
Noel looked at her intently and she felt her heart rate increase at the flame in his black eyes.
“It can be a big bump, Lori. It’s all a question of degree and what you’re going to call a thing.”
Lori stirred her tea, leaning against the counter with her right hip as she did so. “Are you saying it was a small thing?”
He shook his head, then looked down as he swirled his cup slightly, encouraging the tea to steep. “No. I’m not calling it anything. It didn’t happen to me. People can be tremendously resilient in such circumstances. They can also have an immensely difficult time with it. Let me ask you this,” he said then took a quick gulp of tea. “On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest amount of grief one can experience, where would you say Rita is?”
Lori cocked her head, thinking. “Grief? I don’t know...I’d say she’s more in anger.”
“It’s one and the same,” Noel replied. “How much intensity of emotion is she feeling?”
“Oh. Probably an 8. Or a 9.”
Noel nodded reflectively. “And you?”
“Earlier, probably a 10. Now...I don’t know. Maybe a 6. Is that wrong?”
Noel pulled back in surprise. “Wrong? Why would the intensity of emotion be right or wrong?”
“I don’t know. It sounds as though I didn’t love Cody as much if I don’t feel his loss as intensely.”
“Loving and missing someone are two entirely different things, and without getting into the whole concept of empowerment versus enabling, trust me when I say to you that the level of your emotion is neither right nor wrong. It just is.”
Lori dipped her head to her cup, taking a deep breath of bergamot oil and steadying herself.
“All I’m trying to show you,” Noel resumed, “is that two people – like you and Rita – can both love your husbands passionately, and yet when tragedy strikes, you have the choice as to how deeply you’re going to let it affect you. It doesn’t mean you loved Cody less – it just means you chose to get back on the track faster than Rita. Who knows? Maybe this is her track now, revenge. Yours is something else. Do you know what it is? What’s your passion?”
Lori took a deep swallow, letting the hot liquid flood her throat.
“Training horses on this farm. It’s what I love.”
Noel nodded. “So the more you keep that vision in your sights, the less you’ll be bumped off the track and the easier it will be to find your way back to it.”
Lori pursed her lips, thinking. Then she gave Noel a devilish look. “So what’s your track? Besides hunting down cats?”
“I’m here to serve,” he said quietly, looking up at her with that intensity in his gaze again.
“That’s a pretty general statement, isn’t it? Could you be more specific?”
He flashed her a grin. “I try to avoid specifics. I don’t like to be pigeon-holed into helping in one way. I wait for the person to tell me what they need.”
Lori uttered a nervous laugh. “You’re really unusual, you know that?”
He continued to look up at her, the light playing in his eyes. “I do.”
**********
Noel had gone to the house that morning with the intent to ask Lori if she wanted to go into town with him. He wanted to pick up a few things for the loft and thought he should get her input on what colours she would prefer for the curtains, since they would be staying there when he left.
Instead, after their revealing conversation, Lori had invited him to watch as she rode Piper in the outdoor arena. She wanted to show him what training could do for a horse...she also wanted the added protection in case there were any unwanted visitors around in the form of horse-killing cats. He had agreed and so, on their third day of acquaintance, Noel had found himself again standing with arms propped up on a fence rail, again watching a beautiful woman move in tandem with a horse.
Lori was dressed in jeans, black half-chaps, black riding boots, a black turtleneck and a slim-fitting blue jean vest today. She had a riding helmet on instead of her cowboy hat and had joked with him that this was as close to English garb as she could afford. He had noticed with an irrational pang that she had coloured the grey patch in her hair black. He knew better than to say anything about it but her attempt to disguise it bothered him greatly. He shrugged it off mentally, trying to enjoy the demonstration.
And enjoying it wasn’t difficult. Piper floated across the ground and Lori seemed to hover even above him as she rode bareback. No wonder his ancestors had thought this some mythical half-man beast when the first invaders came from Spain. Piper and Lori moved as one unit across the arena and back again, nothing more than a subtle shift of weight or movement of leg causing the horse to change
direction, speed up or stop. To have that connection with another living creature, where every thought, every glance, every pressure point created action...that was true harmony to Noel. He craved it for himself. He longed to be a part of their union but could merely stand by and applaud.
Lori brought Piper to a stop in front of him and he looked up at her with adoration. “That was marvellous,” he said.
“Thanks,” she answered with a beaming smile on her face. She leaned over and gave Piper a hug around the neck then rubbed him on both sides from her precarious position. “He’s my awesome man.”
He watched her throw a leg over and slide off the bay then remove his bridle and let him trot back over to where Ebony was in the roundpen. She took off her helmet and Noel consciously looked away from the dyed hair.
“How often do you guys practice?” he asked.
“I try to ride him every day,” she answered. “But sometimes it’s just for fun – we’re not out to learn anything. Before the cougar came, I would ride him around the property every evening and check fences. I miss that. But I guess that would have come to an end soon anyway, now that the days are getting shorter.”
Lori smoothed down the loose strands of hair that were standing around her head and tucked her helmet under her arm. “Do you want to help me catch these two and take them back to the barn? If we’re going to get into town yet today, I want to make sure they’re back in their stalls while we’re away.”
Lori showed him how to look at Ebony’s hip, leaning over as a cue for the horse to swing towards him. The Percheron did – almost like magic – and came trotting over to Noel. He rubbed on her head as a thank you and then Lori showed him how to put a rope halter on.
When they returned to the barn, Lori assured Noel she could take care of the grooming and feeding of hay on her own. Instead, she chased him back up to his room in order to get measurements on the window. He had been up there only a few minutes when he heard her scream from below him.
He flew down the stairs, heart pounding in anticipation of what he might find, and wheeled around the corner to see Lori standing transfixed in front of a large, tawny mountain lion who was standing on the threshold of the barn door.
“Get away!” Lori screamed in pure panic. Noel quietly, cautiously walked up beside her, his eyes never leaving the cougar in the doorway.
