Doctor Desirable: A Hero Club Novel

by Anjelica Grace

  I can’t get over how Dee looked, either. That makes me just as sick as everything else. I’m pathetic. The woman destroyed my trust, she went behind my back; she could’ve cost me my job—yet I still can’t forget how beaten and upset she looked. I can’t get the tear-stained, makeup-smudged, puffy eyes and sobs to leave my memory.

  It’s all so fucked up. I’m so fucked up.

  I turned off my phone after I called my scheduler to tell her I was sick, and after Jackson had called me no less than twenty times.

  There is zero excuse for Xavier’s behavior. There is zero excuse for his betrayal this time.

  Hell, maybe I shouldn’t have excused him or forgiven him the first time, since he clearly did it again.

  And I don’t want to lose a second brother because he’s trying to play peacekeeper and defend Xavier. I can’t lose literally everyone in my life right now.

  I’m going to have to turn everything back on though. I have to go back in to work tomorrow. I can’t skip a fourth day. I can’t lose my job on top of all of this.

  I just pray they took the hint and don’t continue trying. I’ll talk to Jackson eventually, but not yet. I need to speak to legal and see what Emily and her family have chosen to do, too. As much as I want to hide from this, I can’t any longer.

  I have to stop drinking the beer, the scotch, and feeling sorry for myself. I will not show up to work hungover. I won’t put myself at any more risk.

  I have to shower, shave, and pretend I’m not fucking reeling tomorrow. I have to protect what I do have left, guard my reputation, and my fucking heart, with everything I have left in me.

  It’s the only way I’ll survive.

  It’s the only way I’ll come out on top.

  Thirty-Five

  Nate

  “It’s great to see you back at work, Dr. Alexander,” Sue says, offering me a compassionate smile. She’s one of my favorite administrators here at the hospital. She makes it a point to meet everyone, make sure she has our backs, advocates for us and the hospital when shit gets murky with disgruntled patients.

  “So you heard I took time off?” I drop into the seat across from her desk and cross my leg over, resting an ankle on the opposite knee.

  “I did. I think it was wise. It allowed me to put a plan together, offer it up to the hospital and legal in case Emily McCarthy and her family came after us.” She moves her mouse over the desk and clicks a few things.

  “In case? Haven’t they contacted the hospital yet?” Given everything Dee did, I would’ve been all over this hospital immediately. They have every fucking leg to stand on here.

  “No, they haven’t. We thought for sure they would, but maybe she hasn’t contacted family yet. It’s only been four days; I’m expecting notification of their complaint. Maybe they’re looking for better legal counsel. Maybe they’re still on vacation.”

  “Hmm.” I reach over and grab the stress ball from the corner of her desk, squeezing it viciously between my fingers. “Maybe so. Should I assume we will be settling?”

  She eyes me and smirks. “You know I can’t tell you that.”

  “Off the record then. I need to know what to expect for my own malpractice insurance.” I did nothing wrong, but the way lawsuits work is anyone and everyone who can be named and held accountable will be. It’s all about fault and money.

  “We won’t be letting this go public.” She won’t confirm in exact words, but her answer is all the confirmation I need.

  “Have you spoken to Miss Parker?”

  “No. We are done. My career and my life are no longer connected to her in any way.”

  Sue nods and continues typing away on her computer. “That is probably for the best. You need to be ahead of this too, same as the hospital. The McCarthy family will need reassurance your team, your practice, and our facility have rectified this situation to the best of our abilities.”

  “I know. We are good on my end.” I swap the ball to my other hand, flexing my fingers. This will be helpful before I go into surgery today.

  “Very good. Have you spoken to your assistant, made sure she knows she isn’t in trouble? We can’t have her bringing a lawsuit because you punish her for going over your head. There can’t be any appearance of retribution here.”

  “I’ll speak to her before surgery. I won’t punish her. Though, I’m not sure what I’ll do if I’m honest. I don’t trust her anymore, either. She should have come to me, Sue.”

  “She was stuck between a rock and a hard spot. She knew about your relationship with Miss Parker. She didn’t want to put you in that position.” Sue is probably right, but the niggling thought I’ve had that I’m missing something here since everything happened is still lingering.

  Did April act in this manner because she didn’t think I could handle it and didn’t want me in that position? Or did she go over my head out of spite?

  “She was.” My only option here is to agree. I can’t shine light on the fact another employee had romantic feelings for me at one point. It would only make me look worse, and the water I’m in is already beyond hot and bordering on boiling.

  “I know you are a true professional. You will do what’s right where she is concerned. Consult your legal team, get ahead of all of this, and it will all blow over soon with minimal damage done.” She winks at me, and then reaches for her phone. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make a call.”

  “Yes ma’am,” I answer, and rise. “I’m taking this stress ball, I’ll buy you a new one and bring it in tomorrow.” I give her a little wave and walk out of her office.

  Not a second after I’m out, I’m running into a scrub-clad nurse. “I’ve been looking for you all morning,” Bridget says to me. “You’re impossible to find.”

  Great. This is just fucking great. I don’t have time for Dee’s friend defending her inexcusable actions. “I have a surgery to get to, Nurse Hogue.”

  I try to walk past her, but she sidesteps and follows me, matching me stride for stride. “That’s fine I can walk and talk. I’m perfectly capable, I do it all day, every day.”

  “I’m not in the mood for you defending her…” I don’t need to elaborate, we both know who I mean, and that’s all she’s doing.

  “I’m not. Dee screwed up; she admits as much. But I think you need to stop, really think, and get to the bottom of this story. The real bottom of it, Dr. Alexander. The truth needs to come out, not just the word of one so-called witness. Too many careers and the life of an innocent young woman depend on it.”

  “What are you talking about?” She has some nerve, telling me what to do. I jab my finger into the elevator button, wishing it would get here so I can get away from her.

  “Don’t just make assumptions, Dr. Alexander. I’ve been there and done that, it hurt me and the ones I loved more than the truth ever could have in the end. You owe it to Miss McCarthy, Miss Parker, and your brother to find the real truth, whatever that may be.”

  She left little room for me to argue, comment, or even offer a dismissal of what she said, because it was literally all true. I did make assumptions. I didn’t make sure I had the truth. I took what I heard and believed it based on the past, based on how close I know Dee was to the case, and how strong her feelings were.

  She admitted Emily needed tough love to me herself.

  Why would I question actions that were supported by her own words to me?

  Emily ran away because of Dee. There’s no refuting that; Emily is gone.

  Dee and Xavier both admitted to talking.

  Realistically, I do already have the truth… Don’t I?

  “That’s all I needed to say,” Bridget adds. “Have a good day.” She walks away and through the stairwell door, opting to use the steps to get back down to the ER while I’m left dumbfounded, more confused, and waiting for an elevator so I’m not late for surgery.

  ****

  “Miss Johnson,” I say, as I’m finishing up the surgery, “Once you speak with the patient’s fa
mily, please come find me. I think we need to talk.” The OR has been unusually quiet today, and all I can assume is everyone knows what happened. I’m sure the gossip and rumors about me, Dee, Emily, the entire situation have run rampant while I’ve been out the past few days.

  “Yes, Dr. Alexander,” she responds, asking for the medical grade staples. “As soon as I’ve scrubbed out I’ll find you.”

  “Thank you.” I step back from the patient and look around the room. “Great work, everyone. As always, it’s been a pleasure working with you all. Thank you for your assistance.”

  The room breaks into a bunch of thank-yous and you toos. I end every surgery thanking my team and the staff. I may be the one directly responsible, but each and every individual in here plays a part in my success with every patient.

  I step out and clean up, then find an empty computer to sit down at and enter my procedure notes while I wait for April. It doesn’t take her long to clean up and address the family before she finds me.

  “Dr. Alexander,” she addresses me, then steps up to the desk I’m seated at, “You wanted to speak?”

  “Yes, thank you. Can you please tell me everything that happened with Emily McCarthy and Cassidee Parker?” I turn in the chair so I’m facing her directly and cross my fingers in my lap.

  “I already told the hospital everything.” Her fingers start fidgeting over the counter. “They know it all.”

  “I know they do, but Sue wants to make sure I get ahead of this for any possible lawsuits, so I want to hear it all for myself, since you didn’t tell me, so I can relay it to my attorney.” I also want to figure out what the hell Bridget was talking about, but there is no need to tell April that.

  “Oh, right. Of course. I didn’t think about how lawsuits might affect us.” She worries her lip between her teeth and goes silent, as though she’s thinking about everything. “Well, like I told the board, Dr. Nordman, I was in the hallway, on my way to Emily’s room. I heard raised voices, so I stopped to listen, and that’s when I heard Miss Parker shouting at her, blaming her for her lack of success.” She blinks her eyes a few times then goes silent, allowing me to digest.

  And I do. I truly think on everything she has said so far, allowing myself a few moments to process. “What happened after that?” I already have more questions for her, but I need to know everything before I can start asking.

  “Well,” she continues, “after Miss Parker shouted at Emily, she started yelling at Miss Parker, screaming to get out of her room. That’s when Cassidee Parker walked out and took her call.”

  Right, when she spoke to my brother. “When did Emily run out?”

  “It was right after Miss Parker left. By the time I got to her room, the gown was thrown over the bed and she was barging out.”

  “Why didn’t you stop her?” Somehow, now that I’m really hearing this story, it’s sounding very flimsy and suspicious.

  “She wouldn’t allow me. I tried, but I couldn’t restrain her.” Her fingers start to fidget some more.

  “I understand.” I count to four seconds mentally, and then ask, “If you heard Miss Parker berating a patient, why didn’t you step in and stop it, defend the patient, and remove the conflict?”

  Her fingers start to work double time over the counter, and she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. “Well, you told me I had no authority over Miss Parker, you were the one who was supposed to handle things, not me, so I didn’t. I was just following your rules.”

  That is such a crock of shit. And she knows it. “I see. Thank you for telling me what happened. I needed all the facts, just in case.”

  “You’re welcome, Dr. Alexander. I have to go and work on my charts now. Did you need anything else?”

  “That’s all. Thank you.” As soon as she walks away I turn back toward the computer and scrub my hands over my face. “What the fuck actually happened?” I’m all alone, nobody could hear me, but the words creep out as a mumble anyway.

  ****

  Dee

  Bridget: I talked to Dr. Alexander today.

  Bridget’s text catches me off guard while I’m working on my resumé and cover letter.

  Me: What did you say to him? Bridget, you can’t get yourself in trouble.

  Bridget: I’m not. I just told him he needs to find out the truth. All of it. Not just one side.

  Me: Thank you. I appreciate you trying, but I doubt it will do me any good.

  Bridget: Ya never know. I have to get back to work. I just thought you should know.

  Me: You’re the best. Have a good shift.

  I set my phone down again and sigh. How do I make him hear me out? How do I prove I did nothing wrong?

  I was stupid. I acted in a misguided manner, but it wasn’t at all what I’ve been accused of. I can’t fix things at the hospital right now. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to.

  I can at least try to make things right between Nate and his brother. I raise my phone again and dial Xavier’s number, praying he answers.

  “Hello?” he says, sounding out of breath.

  “Xavier, hi, it’s Cassidee.”

  “Shit. Cassidee, hi. We really shouldn’t be talking right now”

  “I know, but…”

  He cuts me off, “I’m sorry, I can’t risk it. You promised you would have my back, make sure Nate knows I wasn’t betraying him, but it clearly didn’t work, because I’ve lost my brother.”

  His tone catches me off guard. “What do you mean you lost your brother?”

  “He’s done with me because he believes you and I were... He blocked my number and is done. Jackson can’t even get him to answer, text, or even call back.”

  “Oh my God. I am so sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “What did you do to him? What happened to make this all blow up?”

  Tears I’ve managed not to shed all day well up in my eyes and I sniffle, “I didn’t do anything. I lost my job, your brother, and everything I had in a day’s time, and I’m still trying to figure it all out myself. Someone else told him we were talking, Xavier. Not me. I haven’t even been able to explain or apologize to him. He showed up here, accused me of talking to you, and then he ended things, washed his hands of me, and walked away.”

  “What do you mean you lost your job? I don’t understand a fucking thing you’re saying.”

  I exhale and hiccup out a frustrated sob. “Xavier, I didn’t betray anyone. I swear. Not you, not Nate, nobody. How can I make this right?”

  “You can start at the beginning, and pray I agree you didn’t do anything, because if not, so help me, Dee. I will throw you under the bus so fucking fast. I won’t lose my brother for you. I won’t lose him for anyone.”

  “I understand.” I close my eyes and take in a breath, gathering my thoughts and calming myself, then I dive into the whole story, every detail from my firing, to what Bridget has told me. All of it.

  “Jesus, this is a mess.” It’s all Xavier can say when I finish. “I don’t even know how to fix this. I can’t leave and go out there yet; we have games. I’ll keep my trip for next week though. I think forcing him to hear me out may be the only way I can get through to him. I’ll see what I can do for you, too.”

  He is being so much more generous to me than he should be at this point. “Thank you, Xavier. I’m so sorry all of this happened. I promise if I could take it all back, I would.”

  “It’s okay. I made a lot of this mess myself with my past actions. Somehow, I actually believe none of this is your fault, too. Well, except for the being stupid with your patient part.”

  “Ouch.” His words cut through me, even though they’re true.

  “Sorry, but… I have to call a spade a spade here. And now I have to find a way to dig me, and you, out of this mess with Nate.”

  “You worry about you. Your relationship is far more important than ours was.”

  He chuckles low and deep. “If you really think that, you’re even dumber than you acted with Emily. I’ll see what I can d
o to help, but I make no promises. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Hang in there, Dee. I’ll catch you later.”

  “Thank you. You too. Bye, Xavier.”

  We both hang up and I fall back on my couch, wondering again: how did all of this go so wrong?

  Thirty-Six

  Nate

  April told me her whole twisted story two days ago. There has still been zero word of a lawsuit or any problems from Emily, her family, or legal representatives. Things just aren’t adding up.

  None of it is adding up, so I’ve spent the better part of the last two days trying to track down Emily McCarthy.

  It’s unethical.

  It’s stupid and opening me up to an undeniable lawsuit, even if one isn’t already filed.

  It is likely career suicide.

  But I have to know the whole fucking truth. I have to. Because from all I’ve heard, all I know about Dee and Emily, even about April, I know there are more holes in April’s story than in Swiss cheese.

  I did something I am never supposed to do the other night. I opened her patient file and got her phone number and her local address. Her parents’ numbers were listed as well, as her emergency contacts.

  I tried her dorm first. She wasn’t there. I drew so many curious, interested eyes from the rest of her peers who live there, but that’s the least of my concern at this point.

  My next stop is the athletic building. If I can’t talk to Emily, maybe I can talk to her coach, or even the head athletic trainer. Someone with knowledge and the ability to help her.

  I follow the signs to their field house, and from there I follow the signs to the locker rooms and coaches’ offices.

  Please let someone, anyone be here.

  When I find the training room, I go there first. I step up and knock on the door.