He looks at me like I’ve just given him the answers to all the world’s problems. “Together?”
“Yes, Marine. Together. Isn’t that what usually happens when two people get married? You did ask me last night. Pretty sure I didn’t imagine that.” For the first time since the FBI gave the ring back to me, I press it into his hand then…let go. “But since you didn’t do it properly…with this…ask me again.”
Dropping to one knee, Ford stares at the diamond and sapphire band, then blows out a breath.
“Joey? I gave you my heart more than twenty years ago. Since then, I’ve thought about you every single day. Is she happy? Is she safe? Does she ever think about me?” He reaches for my hand, his thumb skating over my bare ring finger. “We lost so much time. But I want to make up for every second. Will you marry me?”
“The memory of the morning you proposed on the beach?” I whisper, struggling not to cry, “That was my touchstone. I’d replay that memory over and over again in my head. I’d never been so happy, and I didn’t think I’d ever be that happy again. I was wrong.”
“Is that a yes?” Ford arches a brow, his lips curved into the smile I dreamed of every night.
“Yes. Absolutely, yes.”
Ford
Awkwardness seeps in again as we stand on opposite sides of the bed. The long-sleeved t-shirt clings to the softness of her breasts, and I don’t know if she wants me to hold her, make love to her, or something in between.
“It won’t always be this way, will it?” Joey asks as she practically dives under the covers. “We’ll find our…normal?”
“We will.” Torn between wanting to show her all of me and fearing I’ll overwhelm her, I settle for stripping down to my briefs with my back to her.
“Stop,” she whispers before I can slip under the covers. “Turn around.”
Pushing up to her knees, she crawls over to me, wrapping a hand around each of my hips. “I want to see you.”
The briefs catch on my suddenly raging hard-on, and Joey blushes crimson before she manages to free my dick and the material falls to the floor. A muscle in her jaw works back and forth, and I cup her cheek to urge her gaze to mine. “You’re amazing, buttercup. But I don’t need anything but you in my arms tonight.”
“I do.” Tentatively, she wraps her fingers around my shaft, stroking the silky skin until a drop of precum glistens at the tip. “We used to…”
“New beginnings. We don’t need to do anything we used to do.” Gently taking her elbows, I try to urge her higher so I can kiss her, but she resists. Her grip on my waist is so tight, she might actually leave a bruise. After she squeezes her eyes shut for a long blink, she opens them, gaze fixed on my dick, and leans forward to suck just my crown into her mouth. After one swirl of her tongue, she draws back and lets me pull her into my arms.
As I claim her mouth, I taste myself on her tongue, but under that, it’s all Joey. The woman who agreed to marry me—twice.
“Thank you,” she manages when we come up for air. “I didn’t know if I could ever do that again. And…I still don’t know if I can give you more—”
“I don’t need more. I just need you.” Scooping her up against my chest, I carry her back to the other side of the bed where the blankets are already pulled back, then climb in with her still in my arms. “I’ll be here for you forever, Joey. Whatever you need. Whatever you want to try. Whatever you don’t.”
“Undress me.” Her half-hooded eyes churn the deepest of blues, and she wriggles off my lap to stand in front of me, just like I did with her.
“Baby?” Wrapping an arm around her lower back as I swing my legs over the side of the bed, I wait for her to meet my gaze. “Promise me something.”
“What?”
“If anything makes you uncomfortable or nervous or scared, say ‘stop,’ okay?”
Her lips twitch into what might be a weak smile. “Ford? Are you trying to give me a safe word?”
Chuckling, I slip my fingers under her shirt so my palm rests against the warmth of her skin. “Maybe.”
Her eyes shine as she dips her head and kisses me. Feather light, almost chaste, it still makes me want to bury myself balls-deep inside her. But I start with her shirt. Lifting the hem a few inches, I kiss along her stomach. Her curves, mostly hidden under her clothes, have haunted my dreams. She’s still too thin, and I’ll get her favorite foods every single day once we’re home, but for now, I ease the shirt higher, exposing the red satin bra.
“More?” I ask, and she nods, so I strip the shirt off completely and drop it to the floor. A flush starts between her breasts, slowly spreading up her neck as I skate my thumbs over her nipples. Under the satin, hard nubs rise to meet me, and she shudders, tipping her head back and closing her eyes.
Whatever happens, she’s going to know who’s touching her, who’s loving her. “Joey, look at me. Always at me.”
Her little gasp makes my cock twitch, and seeing her respond to me, the fine hairs on her arms standing as goosebumps cover her skin, is a gift I’ll never take for granted again.
Keeping my eyes on hers, I pinch first one nipple, then the other, rolling them between my fingers until her breath is coming in short pants and a light dew breaks out over her skin.
The muscles of her stomach quiver when I reach for the waistband of her pants, and I hold her gaze. “We can stop…”
“No. I…want…this.”
Careful to leave the red panties in place, I ease the pants down her hips, and the scent of her arousal wraps around me, so sweet and uniquely Joey that it’s like we’re still in our twenties and about to have sex for the very first time.
“You’re beautiful, Joey. All my memories…they can’t compare to what’s right in front of me.” With my index finger, I trace the edge of the satin, all the way from her hip to the apex of her thighs, and she whimpers quietly, her hands clutching my shoulders.
Her eyes darken. “Please…”
“Please what, baby?” I ache for her, but if she’s not ready, I’ll wait forever.
“T-touch me.”
Slick heat welcomes me as I ease the material to the side. So wet. So soft. Her sensitive nub hardens under my touch, and after a single pass over her clit, I suck her arousal from my finger.
“More?” I ask as I wrap my arms around her.
Reaching behind her, she releases the catch on her bra, and I slide the straps off her shoulders. When her panties hit the floor, she steps back, clenching and unclenching her hands, her arms straight at her sides, her gaze on me. “You…make me feel…like I’m not completely broken.”
“We’re all broken, Joey.” Holding out my hand, I wait for her to place her fingers in mine. In the light from the bedside lamp, the ring on her finger sparkles. “But broken isn’t worthless. It’s beautiful.”
When she crushes her lips to mine, I sweep her into my arms, lay her down on the bed, and show her just how beautiful she is.
20
Joey
I’m naked. With Ford curled around me, his chest to my back. He’s behind me. And I’m okay. He left the light on. All night. Like he has every night since he rescued me. I didn’t even need to ask.
Reaching for my ring, I panic for a second until I remember it’s back where it belongs. On my finger. And today, we’re going home. To Boston where…we’ll be together.
With my fingernail, I drag a light scratch along my forearm. Not enough to make me bleed. Not even enough to raise a welt. Just enough to confirm this isn’t a dream.
“Joey?” Ford’s voice is thick with sleep, and he pushes up on an elbow, gently wrapping his big hand around mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He starts to protest, but I wriggle around to face him. “That’s the truth, Ford. I…needed to know this wasn’t a dream.”
His hazel eyes hold so many emotions: concern, love, fear, relief…all swirling around in their depths. “We never talked about when I need to worry…” He skims his fingers over my scars
. “If I’m ever the cause—”
“If it gets serious again…you’ll know.” I cup his cheek, the light stubble tickling my palm. “I’ll tell you. But sometimes, like right now, it’s just a way for me to know I’m…alive. Safe. I won’t promise you I’ll never cut myself again. But I’ll tell you if I do.”
He nods, my explanation enough for him—at least for now—and I snuggle closer.
“Maybe in a few weeks…you can come to one of my therapy sessions. Dr. Rita would probably love to meet you. God knows she’s heard enough about you.” I smile against his chest, and he strokes up and down my back. “She can give you some of the signs I might miss in my own behavior.”
“Whatever you need, Joey. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” His voice rumbles under my ear, and I relax into his embrace. This is a dream. The perfect dream. And maybe…for once…it doesn’t have to end.
The apartment phone rings as I’m pulling my hair up into a messy bun. Qarshi is a large enough city I don’t have to cover my head out in public, and the freedom makes me giddy.
“Joey?” Ford holds out the phone. “It’s Lisette.” When I draw in a sharp breath, he quickly adds, “It’s good news.”
“Lisette? What is it?”
“My sister…Noele,” she says with such joy in her voice, I can’t help my smile. “She arrived last night, and…Dr. Joey, she is a match for Mateen’s bone marrow. She demanded to be tested as soon as I told her about his condition.”
“Oh, my God. That’s so wonderful, Lisette.” Tears gather in the corners of my eyes, and I turn to Ford. “Do we have time to stop by the hospital to see Mateen and Lisette before we go?”
“Dax arranged this plane, buttercup. It’ll wait for us as long as we need.” He shoves the last of our clothes in his duffel bag, then takes the metal tin he used to protect his letters to me, wraps a rubber band around it, and lovingly places it on top of the bag. “We can be at the hospital in under an hour.”
In the background, I hear the boy call for his mother. “I am sorry, Dr. Joey, I must go, but you will come?”
“We’ll be there soon.”
The light linen pants billow around my legs, and though my blouse has a high neck and long sleeves, it flares at the waist, the style so very different from everything I was forced to wear when I was under Faruk’s control. The SUV—with bulletproof windows and reinforced siding—carries us slowly down the Qarshi streets. For a small city, it’s surprisingly congested.
Ford keeps hold of my hand, absently stroking his thumb over my engagement ring. Even though the two men in the front seat are heavily armed, he never stops checking all around us, and I lean closer to whisper in his ear. “You’re worried. Why?”
Turning, he brushes a tender kiss to my lips. “Not worried. Prepared.” Patting the gun strapped to his hip, he returns his gaze out the side window. “I won’t take a chance with your safety. Wren’s monitoring for any chatter that mentions you or Faruk, and we’re getting Lisette and Mateen out of the country as soon as the kid can travel.”
“You think he’s going to come after his son. And once he has his son back…he’ll need me again.” A cold weight settles over my chest, and my throat tightens. “Ford, you can’t keep things like this from me.”
A muscle in his jaw ticks, and he closes his eyes for a brief moment. “It’s my job to protect you. From everything.”
The words he doesn’t say echo in my mind, and anger prickles along my skin. “Including from myself. That’s what you’re really saying, isn’t it? That you didn’t trust me with your concerns because you thought I’d cut myself again. That I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
“Joey—”
Yanking my hand away from his, I shake my head. “Don’t ‘Joey’ me. I’ve spent the last twenty years of my life alone. I put myself through school, paid off all my student loans, made a name for myself in the medical community.” My voice breaks, and I blow out a slow, controlled breath to rein in my emotions. “I have nightmares, Ford. I can’t sleep in the dark. Men…almost all men…scare the crap out of me. And yes. When things are at their worst, I self-harm. But if you want this to work, you have to trust me.”
The car is deathly silent, our two escorts keeping their heads pointed straight ahead as we make the turn into the hospital parking lot. When Alec, the burlier of the two, opens the back door for me, I give Ford’s profile a hard stare. “I’m going to see Lisette and Mateen. Are you coming? Or not?”
His swallow is audible, even over the hum of the traffic down the street. “I have to check in with Nomar. Get the video he recorded of Faruk’s compound for Wren. Alec and Jackson won’t let you out of their sight. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Take this with you.” He hands me a folding knife, and I shove it into my pocket.
“Fine.” As I get to my feet, I square my shoulders. “We’re not done with this conversation. I love you, Ford. With everything I am. You saved my life. More than that…I think you saved a part of who I used to be. Who I was meant to be all along. A part of me I didn’t know was still locked deep inside. But those words I said all those years ago? They’re still true. This doesn’t work if you don’t trust me.”
Ford
I’m in a foul mood when I shove through the door to Nomar’s room. Wires and tubes snake from underneath the drab hospital gown, and he’s paler than I’ve ever seen him. But he turns his head and gives me a weak grin as I drop into the chair next to him. “‘Bout time, asshole.”
“You were unconscious last time I checked. Cut me some fucking slack.” Despite the harshness of my words, there’s no animosity between us.
“Listen,” he says, his voice raspy. “I’m sorry I put everyone in danger by grabbing Lisette and the kid.”
“I would have done the same thing.” Flopping back in the chair, I run both hands over my hair and down my neck. Tension turns my shoulders to granite, and I can’t wait to get out of Uzbekistan and back to the States where I can hire some private security for Joey until we know Faruk is no longer a threat. “You have the video surveillance you took of the compound? Wren wants to pull any face she can find and run it through her software. She’ll watch the airports—both here and in France—for any sign Faruk’s on the move and coming after his son or Joey.”
He nods and presses a button on the bed’s remote to raise himself up slightly. “My bag’s hidden under the corner of the mattress. Get it for me?”
Only a spook—or former spook—would go to such lengths in a hospital. The waterproof oilskin bag is no bigger than a book, and Nomar uses one hand to unzip it and withdraw a small data card. “This should have everything you need. Video from my initial recon and from the night we broke Joey out.”
“Thanks, man. When they letting you out of here?” I’m itching to go check on Joey, but she’s right. I need to trust her. She has two lethal bodyguards with her, Lisette and Mateen are using forged papers—courtesy of Matt and his guys—and security patrols the halls regularly. Hell, there’s a guard stationed not more than twenty feet from the kid’s room.
Nomar shifts, a wince flattening his lips. “Three or four days. Listen, you think there might be some work for me at Second Sight when I’m healed up? Never gave much thought to what I’d do after this. But…seeing Lisette’s face when I told her I was taking her with me…” He rubs his chin, a faraway look in his eyes for a moment. “I want to help people, Ford. I just don’t want to do it in this part of the world anymore.”
Reaching out, I clap Nomar gently on the shoulder. “Normally, I’d run a new hire by Dax. But pretty sure he’d be thrilled to have you join the team. Call me when you get back to the States, and we’ll make it official.”
Joey
Alec leads the way, but Jackson insists on walking behind me. I keep looking over my shoulder, my heart hammering against my ribs. Some days, I feel like I’ve beaten my demons. Others, they follow me everywhere.
My conversation with Ford plays on a loop in my head. I know he
loves me. He’s not wrong. If I’d known about the danger this whole time, I might have been more tempted to cut myself. Or simply shut down. But he’s also not right either. We lost one another once because we were both too stubborn to open up. I won’t let that happen again.
At the door to Mateen’s room, I stop. “That little boy and his mom have been through hell. Can you both please wait outside?”
“No, ma’am. We have our orders,” Alec says as he reaches for the door handle.
“It’s a tiny room. With one window that doesn’t open. How about a compromise. You verify there’s no threat and then wait outside?” My entire body relaxes when Alec agrees, and after a quick sweep of the small room and even smaller bath, he emerges into the hall and stares down at me, one brow cocked.
“If anything seems out of place, you scream. Understood?”
“Loud enough to be heard in the next town. Understood.”
Lisette wraps her arms around me as soon as I walk into the room. Her hair is loose and long, dark locks flowing over her slim shoulders, and she wears jeans and a pretty floral blouse with a decidedly Western style. “I am so happy you could come,” she says as she releases me. “This is my sister, Noele.”
A younger woman, no older than twenty-five, embraces me and kisses both cheeks. “I owe you a debt I can never repay. Ten years we searched, and we had given up hope. Mama and Papa cannot wait to meet their grandson.”
“You don’t owe me anything. Except maybe pictures once in a while? Of Mateen growing up big and strong?”
Noele and I exchange email addresses, and I slide a hip onto the edge of Mateen’s bed. He’s playing FIFA again, and I peer at the screen. “Who’s winning?”
By Lethal Force Page 17
