Redefining Rayne

by Amy Mullen

  The hall cleared out as the meal progressed. Andre had fallen into a sullen silence as Odo ate with gusto. His eating habits reminded her of her late husband, though Odo showed no excess paunch as proof of his lust for food.

  Their guest stood and raised his arms over his head in a short stretch and then thumped Andre on the back. "Good food, de Grelle. Remind me why I have not come to visit more often?"

  "Duty calls," Andre said, no longer trying to hide his annoyance with the man. "We all have our duties to the king."

  "Indeed," Odo said as he stared down at Rayne once more. "Time for our walk, milady?"

  Unable to back out now, she nodded. She glanced at Andre's face, but his expression was blank as he stared off into the hearth.

  Rayne stood. Odo moved to take her arm when Andre called out, "Tillie!"

  The nervous woman rose from the trestle table where she was chatting with one of the chambermaids and came over to Andre. "Milord?"

  "Odo wishes to take Lady Rayne for a walk. Please see to your duties as her chaperone and be gone with them," he said sharply as he stood and moved to stand near the hearth.

  Tillie bobbed nervously and locked eyes with Rayne.

  "We do not have need of a chaperone, Andre," Odo said. "I wish the lady no harm."

  "Nay, but 'tis only proper. She is not yet my wife, but she is promised to me. Take care, and allow Tillie to see you outside," he said and then walked away to talk with his seneschal.

  ****

  Andre walked to his writing desk and sat down. Quite abruptly, he sent his seneschal away so he could think. He had to scrawl out a message to William Rufus about Odo's visit, but he knew not what to say just yet. Odo had remained mute about what he was doing, but at the same time Andre sensed something big was about to transpire. Still, he had nothing definite to report.

  Staring down at his desk, he sighed deeply. The blank vellum mocked him. He could not let Rufus down, but he had nothing to tell him. There was no point in a rambling letter full of speculation. It would only anger the king. With a heavy scrawl, he wrote.

  My Lord and King, William;

  Odo is in attendance. He spends his time doting on Lady Rayne and smirking at the servants. He may have something going on, but he does not speak of it. Other than that, I have nothing new to report. He's worthless, and I cannot wait to be free of his loathsome company.

  That would not do. As much as Andre found the note amusing, the king would not feel the same. He crushed the vellum with another sigh, tossed it into the roaring flames, and drank down the remainder of his wine.

  He thought again of Rayne outside with Odo. As an afterthought, he had sent Michael out atop the wall to keep an eye on things. Michael held no rank in his household other than stable boy and soldier, but he had been with Andre a long time and he trusted him completely. The soldier had strict instructions to sound the horn should the lady need assistance.

  He was not sure where the jealousy came from, but it was there. When he saw her come down the steps into the hall he had forgotten to breathe for a moment. She was stunning. Andre had not known what to expect when word came he was getting a wife, but he had resigned himself to another like the first. Rayne was nothing like Geva though. The vulnerable look in her eyes made him want to take her in his arms and keep the world away, but at the same time, she possessed a strength perhaps even she was not yet aware she had.

  Still, he had to deal with this situation delicately. He hadn't been prepared to be drawn to her. As a knight, he had traveled wherever he was needed, taking women when he wanted, and he had nothing more to worry about than the next battle. He wasn't proud of his randy past, but he could not change it. Now, as a baron with lands to protect and cultivate, he had things like children on his mind. Rayne was getting under his skin, and if she was going to bear his children, he had to protect her. He also had Jenri and Hamon now. Geva's boys were now his boys.

  Andre knelt near the fire, trying to banish the image of Odo pawing at Rayne that now hounded his thoughts relentlessly, almost as if it had actually happened. Should anything stand in the way of the sons he desired, his vengeance would be unmatched, should it be Odo or any other man.

  His childhood had been a lonely one. He had no siblings and had been sent off to be fostered at age ten with his uncle. It wasn't until he saw his younger cousins together that he realized he was missing something. Andre vowed he would have many children, and they would know companionship early in life. His first wife's boys were a start, though not of his bloodline. Geva had resisted him for so long he had stopped trying, and his dream had begun to die. They had consummated their marriage but that was about it.

  As lord, he could have gone to the village and taken a woman to his bed to quiet the demons, but he never did. He had done so when he was a knight, but was now haunted, thinking his child may be out there, but he tried not to think about it. Now, he would not take a woman who was not his wife. Should a child result from an illicit union, he may never know it. Worse, that child could grow up alone without the family he had so desired. He did not want that for any child of his.

  So, now his betrothed was out with Odo, a man with low morals and questionable ethics, strolling through the bailey as if no one had a care or worry. He would have to abide Odo until he could figure out what he was up to. Once he reported to William Rufus he could be done with it and prepare to defend Cuxton should the need arise.

  Until then, he had to be patient. He worried about the ramifications of what was now happening with Rayne. He had failed Geva and feared failing Rayne in the same way. Happiness depends on many things, he mused, but he was not sure what those things were. His betrothed had already proven herself stronger than Geva, but something brewed beneath the surface. Patience, he reminded himself – he had to have patience.

  Anxiously he wandered back out into the hall. Would she run or would she come to him? Whatever troubled her mind was serious, he could tell, but he hoped it would not lead to the madness that had consumed Geva. Something told him she had a mind all her own and one day she would come roaring to life, not seek an end to it all. When she did, those who wronged her would find her to be more of a woman than they ever knew.

  He started to get restless and worried as the fire began to falter. With more strength than he needed, he tossed a few logs in. Where were they? Odo needed to talk and Andre had to get him to open up. Therefore, he had to be the host Odo demanded him to be.

  His growing desire for Rayne was starting to cloud his thoughts. He began to pace. Should Odo touch her he would not be able to remain at peace, and all would be lost. The uncertainty of what was going on was most unbearable, and if they did not arrive soon, he would go find them.

  ****

  Once outside, Rayne felt more uncomfortable than she had at the dais. Odo was familiar to her, but that did not make him safe or even an ally. He was just another man seeking to use her for his pleasure.

  "You seem troubled, Rayne," Odo said as he pulled her arm closer to his. They were walking out toward the orchards with Tillie fifteen or so paces behind them. "I so hate to see pain in your lovely eyes. Are you not happy with your match with Andre?"

  "'Tis not that, I barely know him," she said. Her gaze went to the top of the curtain wall. Men-at-arms were in sight, which made her feel a bit safer. "I simply do not know what to do so far away from London. 'Tis positively boring here, by comparison. I mean, what does one do here for entertainment?"

  She was lying. London was too much for her, and she liked Cuxton. It was marriage to the lord that gave her worry.

  "You'll have your hands full running a stronghold as large as this one. It'll come naturally to a woman such as yourself. Andre is a good man I suppose," Odo said after a pause, steering her past the barren apple trees and back toward the gardens near the inner wall. "I've never had issue to dislike him and his dealings are always honest. He seems to be content to marry at William's whim though. Mayhap he is loyal then?"

  Rayne s
hrugged, "I care not of politics and war," she lied again. "I care that I am safe. You know my last husband was not the kindest man to me."

  "You simply cannot judge a man by how he treats his wife," Odo said with a snicker. "The battlefield is where men are made."

  Cringing inwardly, Rayne wished the walk was over. She wanted to rip his eyes out for so callously dismissing what Claude had done to her, but she remained calm. "I know nothing of that, but surely how a man treats a woman says something about his character."

  Odo stopped walking and faced her. "You are a mere woman, dear. You should not worry so much about things beyond your ken. Your job is to be beautiful and squeeze out brats. Is that not why Andre is willing to wed? You have heard the rumors I suppose."

  "Rumors?" she said.

  "That he had a hand in the death of his late wife, Geva," Odo said as he studied her face.

  She tried to be calm, but his words were getting to her. He was picking up her fears one by one and planting them right in front of her. It was as if he knew he was causing her great anxiety and did so to an end. To what end she did not know.

  "Aye, that she was pushed. I know he says she jumped, but who is to say?" he said with a tsk sound.

  "It seems unlikely," she said, stiffening as he pulled her arm tighter against his side. "Mayhap she was mad before she came. I did not really know her beyond a few meetings here and there."

  "She was fine before her marriage. Though, to be fair I cannot say either way. In order to be in control, you must be in control of everything, including your wife. If Andre did push her, she had it coming."

  A lump formed in Rayne's throat.

  "Don't you worry, little lady," Odo said. "I cannot imagine you making Andre mad enough to do away with you. You are the perfect, docile-wife-type of woman."

  "I would like to retire now," Rayne said. She did not know how else to end the tedious and frightening conversation.

  "Of course," he said. "We will pick up where we left off another time. I plan to visit for a while. I have always thought you a beauty, Rayne. 'Twould do no harm to spend more time together before I depart, aye?"

  Rayne paused and mumbled a reply so he would release her. "Indeed." She walked quickly away, with Tillie on her heels. She could not get away from Odo de Bayeux fast enough.

  Her relief was short lived as she ran straight into Andre as she hurried back into the great hall, leaving Odo behind. She stopped short and Tillie could not avoid crashing into her. Rayne lurched forward right into Andre's arms.

  "You are not the first lady to leave Odo as if the devil were on her heels, but 'tis the first time said woman ran straight into my arms," he said and laughed as she tried to right herself.

  "Oh!" she sputtered as she pushed away from him.

  "Tell me, Rayne," he said as his face darkened. "Does he not make your heart flutter enough? Mayhap you came searching for me because you know only I can send you into a titter? What is it the lady seeks?"

  "I am simply ready to retire to my quarters. I enjoyed my walk with Odo. He is an old friend." She felt like an animal, trapped, with nowhere to go.

  "Old friend, indeed," Andre said as he grabbed her arm. "How good of a friend, my sweet? Should I worry you have a wandering eye? Should your belly swell before our wedding date the tongues would be wagging would they not?"

  Outraged, Rayne did something she had never had the courage to do before. She reached out and slapped him across the face.

  She instantly regretted it.

  He held tight to her and pulled her closer. "Rayne, you should use more care. Would you act as if I am a stranger while strolling through the bailey with the likes of Odo de Bayeux? Would you deny me your lips while you allow him to leer at you like a love-sick swain?"

  Rayne gasped. "Let me go!" She was scared now. She had never dared raise her hand to a man, and now she had done so at the worst possible time. "Please, milord, I am sorry."

  Andre glanced over Rayne's shoulder at Tillie. The woman backed out of the hall and out into the night air. Rayne did not notice. She was too busy kicking herself mentally for her grave error. Feeling terrified, she closed her eyes and braced herself for what would come next.

  It never came. She slowly opened her eyes to see Andre studying her face. His deep brown eyes were wide, and his lips were slightly parted. Never had he appeared so handsome, and she felt her heart jump as she returned his gaze with more bravery than she was feeling.

  "I was rash. Please, do not hurt me."

  Letting out a groan, Andre relaxed his grip on her arm, but he did not let her go. "Rayne, one thing you never have to fear from me is physical reprisals. I have never harmed a woman, and I never will."

  Rayne stood mesmerized. Her grey eyes were wide as she stood in awe of how her body was reacting to Andre. She wanted him to touch her, and she wanted him to kiss her, but she did not know why. A spell fell over her of which she had no control. She was drawn to him without reason, and fought an inner battle with an attraction so new and intriguing in that moment she did not move or pull away.

  She could not read his thoughts, but it did not take her long to figure out what he was thinking. He bent his head slightly, his raven black hair falling over his forehead. The lines of his jaw came into focus as he leaned in to kiss her. She did not resist. Softly, his lips touched hers.

  He was not hurried in his approach, and she did not pull back. Her entire body melted as his touch ignited something in her she did not know existed. She found it nearly impossible not to reach out, to touch his strong neck, to pull him closer and never let him go. Her momentary bliss was shattered as the reality of her situation flooded her mind. She had to let go. She couldn't love him or give him what he wanted. The risk was too great.

  In a panic, she pulled away and pushed his chest gently but firmly away from her. "I cannot do this."

  "Go to bed, Rayne."

  Without hesitation, she obeyed.

  Rayne hurried to her quarters but did not lie down. She paced around the room from the bed to the window, searching for answers but finding nothing. Tillie arrived after a few moments and calmly asked her if she needed assistance.

  "How you can you be so calm?" Rayne asked her, wiping tears from her cheek. "You left me when he put his hands on me!"

  "He is not going to hurt you. That I can promise," Tillie said as she pulled a smock from Rayne's trunk. She laid it on the bed.

  Rayne sat on top of her coverlets and fell backward. "That is not what I mean. He keeps kissing me, and you do not move to stop him. I thought you were supposed to be my chaperone."

  "It is not my job to stop him from kissing you, milady. 'Tis only your virtue which should remain intact. You have already known a man though, so I am not sure what my job should be," Tillie said primly as she closed the window shutters.

  Rayne shot up and gasped. "Tillie!"

  "Sorry, dear, but you are overreacting. I would be more worried about Odo de Bayeux than Andre. That one gives me pause."

  "Aye, he is rather foul isn't he?"

  With a nod, Tillie gazed at Rayne. "I cannot understand what possessed you to walk with him."

  "I had to."

  "What game do you play now?" Tillie asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

  "Would you see if there is anyone who could fill my bath?" Rayne said, ignoring Tillie.

  "Of course," the servant said and then she was gone.

  Rayne reclined on her bed again and let her thoughts fly. She was trapped and though she had only been there for a short time, everything she had done seemed like an exercise in futility. Odo flirted with her, and Andre growled at her — in between kissing her and glaring at her. Everyone else, with the exception of Tillie, left her alone and did not speak to her.

  Worst of all, she was frightened by her growing attraction to Andre. Not only did she find herself looking forward to seeing him, no matter how grumpy he was, she was also starting to enjoy the feeling of being close to him. She held firm to her b
elief she did not know what love was, but this new feeling, this sense of being drawn in without control, confused her to the point of distraction. The beginnings of romantic attraction, she mused, are hard to resist.

  Rayne raised her hand up and lightly felt her lips. She could kiss him again and again if she let herself go. She knew where kissing led though, and the last thing she could ever do was let a man touch her intimately. The risk of conceiving a baby overrode everything else she was feeling. It was better to depart as soon as possible.

  Her thoughts were interrupted as Tillie and two servants entered with steaming buckets of water for her bath. They quickly filled the wooden tub and left the room. Only Tillie remained until her bath was done so Rayne would not be interrupted, and then she too left without a word.

  Chapter Eight

  The sound of laughter drifted into Rayne's chambers the next afternoon as she sat with Tillie. Needles flew as they worked to alter the new clothes to fit Rayne better. After careful measurements, the women found the hems needed to be lifted, as Rayne was shorter than Geva had been. The chest area had to be let out while the waist was the right size, but fitted too high. Though Rayne was not as skilled with a needle as Tillie, she was progressing. The promise of wearing the beautiful items prodded her on. These were far superior both in style and fabric compared to the ones she had left behind at her manor.

  She stopped with the needle poised above the delicate cloth when the laughter got louder. Footsteps could be heard as a woman's soft voice urged silence. The sounds stopped short and retreated. It must have been the children. She had yet to see them. As much as she did not want anything to tie her to Cuxton Castle, the sound of their laughter stirred her heart.

  By the time she had stood and run to her door, the sounds were gone and the passageway was empty. Her shoulders dropped and she returned to her work. Time flew quickly. It was nearing supper, and Tillie was urging her to get ready.