Last Day of My Life

by Lani Lynn Vale

  Never.

  That night, I went to bed with a different outlook on Jack’s condition. I knew he’d come back to me, he only needed the time to let it happen.

  Before I fell asleep, I prayed as I stared at the dream catcher that Tai had hung in the corner. “Come back soon, Jack.”

  ***

  Jack

  “Time to go home, boy.” My dad said holding out his hands.

  I glared at him and turned my back to him. I wasn’t ready yet.

  “Oh, don’t be a stubborn ass. You need to give them back to me. It’s not your time yet.”

  “You get to hold them all you want. It’s my turn.” I said by way of explanation.

  He crossed his arms and then started playing dirty. “Your wife is crying right now because you won’t wake up. It’s been two weeks now. How long are you going to make her suffer?”

  My heart wrenched.

  Looking down at my daughters, these two tiny perfect little beings, I was torn. How could I choose one over the other? What kind of person did that make me to leave a tiny, little defenseless being by herself?

  “I’ll never leave them.” My dad whispered.

  “What are you talking about? You’ll never give her up. You’ve been hogging her ever since I got here. I haven’t even gotten to hold her yet.” Adam grumbled from beside me.

  I looked over at him and felt the hole he’d left in my heart heal at the sight of him looking down at my daughters. They were both different as could be. One had Winter’s porcelain skin with dark black hair, and the other had my tanned skin tone with bright red hair. They were the perfect mixture of Winter and I. Perfect.

  “It really is time, baby brother. We’ve got this.” Catori said gently, as she reached down and took one girl, while Adam took the other.

  “Promise me,” I said gruffly.

  “Promise.”

  “Promise, son.”

  “Forever.”

  ***

  My eyes were heavy. My mouth felt like I was in the Sahara, and my head was pounding so brutally with each pump of my heart that I felt nauseous.

  Then the throbbing in my leg started.

  Now, I’d experienced pain before. So much that I’d puked, got back to work, and then puked some more. However, this was new, and it was awful.

  Somehow, I pushed it back. Just enough that I was able to think. Peeling my eyes open was the first task, which worked out better than I’d expected. Minus the shooting shards of pain that shot through my eyes and penetrated my brain with remarkable swiftness, that is.

  Groaning, I took stock of the room. Starting with the door, then the windows, and finally myself. Leg was definitely broken if the huge fucking pins were any indication. Chest hurt like a bitch. Gunshot. Finally, using the hand that wasn’t attached to a tube, I probed my head and winced when I found a patch that was bandaged.

  I tried ignoring the feeling of half my head shaved, but failed and cursed instead. “Fuck.”

  A body moving somewhere below me had me tensing, but I relaxed as my brother’s head popped up from the floor.

  He looked god-awful with his hair a shaggy mess, a four-day beard that resembled a teenager’s with patches that didn’t grow all that well, and a shirt that looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks. Which was quite possible for him.

  “You look like shit.” I croaked.

  “Yeah,” he agreed. “That’s your dumbass fault. Tried to die on me. Signed a fucking DNR. Then I had to overrule your stupid ass. Your wife tried to die. So then I had to overrule her ass too. It’s been a real carnival ride.”

  By the time he was finished he was tearing up and I gave him hell, which was a brother’s rite of passage. “Would you like some cheese with that whine?”

  “You know, it’s not my thing to beat cripples, but I think I can make an exception in this case.” He laughed and then stood.

  “What time is it?” I asked.

  He looked at the watch on his wrist before he said, “Little after six in the morning.”

  “Go get me my woman.” I demanded.

  A smile lit his face. “I’d be honored. Just got to take a leak first.”

  The asshole had the nerve to go to the bathroom before he left the room. Why he couldn’t have done that later, I don’t know.

  Not knowing how long he’d be, I started to sit up when a loud “Jackopa!” filled the air.

  I smiled as I heard her yell at Tai to “Move your ass.” And say, “Any damn day now.”

  She must be just next door with how well I could hear their conversation.

  “Would you just carry me? I don’t need a damn wheelchair.” Winter growled.

  “Uh, honey? You’re not exactly light.” He quipped back.

  I’d have palmed my forehead at that one, but, alas, I didn’t want to make the headache any worse. “You do realize you live with me, right? I’m going to make your life a living hell. I’m going to bug the absolute shit out of you. You know when you’re reading and you need quiet? Yeah, I’m gonna play Spice Girls and N’Sync, and then dance and sing along right next to you. Then when you decide to move back home, I’m just going to pop up whenever, and you’re too nice to turn me away. Then I’ll start playing John Denver. Are you sure you don’t want to just carry me in there?”

  I winced. John Denver was kind of harsh, but she’d do it. In a heartbeat. She was a vindictive little shit, and I had plenty of stories that have amassed, even in the short time we’d been allowed to be together.

  “God, just make sure you lay off the donuts during this pregnancy. My back won’t be able to take much more carrying, and I’m not so sure Jack could handle all your ass for a while.” He joked.

  “Ack!” He squealed. “That’s disgusting. Why would you do that? Saliva and ears don’t mesh!”

  “Bring my girl in here now, pissant!” I yelled.

  Well, I tried to. It came out more like a croak.

  Winter came in a few seconds later, Tai carrying her. Not straining in the slightest. The nurse followed them in with a frown on her face that disappeared as soon as she saw I was awake.

  “Mr. Stoker!” She smiled. “I’m glad to see that you’re awake. How are you feeling? Any pain, numbness?”

  She wasn’t looking at me but at the monitors as she checked my vitals. Then she moved to the bags that were hanging on the bed, which, in turn, moved the tube that I just realized was shoved in my dick.

  Everything was forgotten though when Winter sat on my bed and gave me a shaky hug. “God, I’ve missed you.”

  “To the moon and back, baby. I like your cast color.” I teased.

  “I like it, too. I figure if I have to wear one, then I at least want it to be pretty. Green was the prettiest.” She laughed and turned her foot slightly away.

  “My brother drew a dick and balls on your cast didn’t he?” I asked.

  She shook her head and then laughed. “It’s a very good replica, too. Ember helped him.”

  “Will you ever grow up?” I asked in exasperation, moving only my eyes in my brother’s direction.

  “Never.” He said, then saluted before walking out of the room.

  She waited for the door to finish shutting before looking into my eyes. Her brown eyes were shimmering with tears, and her mouth was pinched in a tight line.

  “I lost another baby.” She whispered to me.

  “Yeah,” I said, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “But you have another one still hanging in there. Let’s focus on that for now. Okay?”

  “They would have been fraternal.” She whispered heartbrokenly.

  He remembered her telling him. She’d spoken to him for hours and hours.

  “Yeah, baby. I know. I know it’s not okay, but we’ll figure out a way to get through this.”

  Finally, she lost the hold on the tears and they started spilling over. Big fat tears. My dad would’ve called them crocodile tears. “Don’t cry.” I whispered against her lips right before I kissed her.


  “I’m not crying, I’m leaking.”

  “Well you’re leaking all over my chest.”

  “Did you know you have more hair on your chest now than you do on your head?” She teased.

  “Yeah, I only thought I was done with the buzz cuts.”

  “You still look hot. Don’t worry.” She said and kissed the side of my head with the utmost care.

  “Love you, Winnie.”

  “Love you too, Jack.”

  Epilogue

  Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.

  -Winnie the Pooh

  Winter

  “You can pat the seat all day long. There’s no way I’m getting on that thing in this dress. Why the heck am I even wearing this anyway?” I scoffed.

  Jack was now cane free for two weeks. It’d been eight since the kidnapping and explosion, and he’d been bugging me to get on his bike with him all day.

  “I, Jack Kennedy Stoker, do solemnly swear that I will only take you just down the road. And I will not go over ten miles an hour. Scout’s honor. ” He said holding up his fingers.

  Rolling my eyes, I decided that he couldn’t get away with the cuteness. “That’s Spock’s sign, not the boy scout’s sign.”

  “Balk!” He said, clucking like a chicken.

  “Jack,” I said, turning to the side and showing off my baby bump. “How the hell do you expect me to hold on to you if I have this?”

  I was now seventeen weeks and most definitely showing.

  “Just get on.” He demanded.

  Sighing, I did as instructed, and found myself still able to get close to him, even with the baby bump between us. “Where’re we going?”

  “Patience is a virtue.”

  “Fuck patience. Tell me.” I demanded.

  He didn’t. Instead, he started the bike with a roar, cutting off my demand.

  The baby did the usual and started doing the fluttering that I so loved. Anytime she heard the bike’s rumbling, she woke. I had a feeling I had a bike lover on my hands.

  True to his word, we didn’t go over ten miles an hour. We rode around the garage, and then across the forecourt, until we reached the edge of a field where a tent was set up.

  My brows puckered, but due to the noise, I couldn’t ask Jack what was going on. It looked like a party was set up, but it wasn’t until I was closer that I saw that all of our friends and family were there waiting for us to arrive.

  He turned the bike off just as we got to the walkway that had recently been mowed. How thoughtful of them.

  Jack swung his leg over the bike and stood holding his hand out to me. “Winnie?”

  I laid my hand in his. “Yeah?”

  “Will you marry me?”

  My mouth dropped open, and it was then that I took in the preacher that was standing at the front of the tent. “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Every damn day and twice on Sunday!” I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck.

  ***

  Winter

  Five months later

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Please, for the love of all that’s holy, turn the bike off.” Ember pleaded.

  I grimaced. “If we turn the bike off, she wakes up.”

  “Yeah?” Ember groaned. “Well if you turn the bike off, the rest of us can sleep.” Is this Ember or Cheyenne speaking? Are they on three way?

  “Is Gabe awake?” I asked.

  Hesitation.

  “No.” She finally admitted.

  “The kids?” I asked.

  “No.”

  Honestly, after a truly god awful labor of 43 hours, zero sleep in the hospital, followed by two days of non-stop crying when somebody wasn’t constantly bouncing or letting her listen to Jack’s bike, I needed the peace and quiet. They’d slept, I hadn’t.

  “Well, then you’re on your own. I haven’t slept in sixteen hours. I need a nap.” I said before I turned the phone on silent and went back to sleep.

  Hours later, I woke to a quiet house.

  Unease rippled through me when I realized that it’d been hours since I’d heard Cat cry. I jumped out of bed and ran to the living room only to stop dead when I saw the most heartwarming vision of my life.

  Jack was on his back, in the recliner, fast asleep, with a sleeping Cat on his chest, scrunched up with her legs and hands underneath her body. A little puddle of drool...or was that spit up... pooled on his chest where her mouth lay open on top of him.

  Her little tiny hand was splayed out over Jack’s chest directly on top of the tattoo he’d gotten the day he got his cast removed from his leg. It was a series of heartbeats across his chest that looked like they’ve been ripped from his chest.

  I’d been confused at first, but then he explained that they were Cat’s first heartbeats. The first ones we’d ever heard. The beats had been on the sonogram photo that we’d received before leaving the office. He’d then taken the picture to the tattoo shop and had them permanently inked into his skin.

  Walking quietly back to my room, I grabbed my phone so I could capture the Kodak moment.

  “You’re going to need to stop. It’s already getting old.” Jack rumbled with his eyes still closed.

  “Never.”

  ***

  Jack

  Four years later

  “Daddy.”

  I turned over in bed when I heard Catori say my name. She was standing at the foot of the bed, and I raised up on an elbow to get a better look at her.

  Her hair was a curly mess around her face. You could tell that she’d been sleeping hard because half of the curls were plastered in drool on the side of her face.

  The black curls stood out starkly against her porcelain skin, and my fingers itched to move it back away from her face. Even more, I wished to cut it, but Winter refused.

  “What, baby?” I asked her softly.

  Winter was at work, and I knew what she really wanted was to come sleep in the bed, which was often the case when mommy was gone. Secretly, I loved it. We did it every night Winter was working, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Her tiny little body crawled up carefully into the bed, and I held the covers aside so she could crawl underneath.

  “My sisters said to tell you hi.” She said as she snuggled close.

  My body froze.

  Not because her icy toes were buried under my stomach, but because she mentioned her sisters.

  Winter and I’d discussed this at length, and agreed that we wouldn’t be telling Catori about this until she was old enough to understand. Which wasn’t going to be for quite a while yet.

  If my asshole brother told her, I was going to kill him. “What do you mean your sisters said to tell me hi?”

  “I dream about them all the time. Sometimes they talk to me. Sometimes we just play tea party and watch La Oopsey.”

  La La Loopsey was her favorite show. She had a ‘La Oopsey’ nightshirt that she had to have on every night or she’d bug the absolute daylights out of you until she had it on. Then she had to be in her ‘La Oopsey’ sleeping bag, with her ‘La Oopsey’ pillow underneath her head, and she was perfect.

  She’d never been the type of child to make up imaginary friends, so I knew she was serious. Or at least thought she was.

  “Tell me about these sisters of yours, baby.”

  “Tanis is older than Meli by seven years. Meli is my age, and has hair exactly like mine. She says she’s not cutting it because mommy would be mad at her if she did. Tanis has mommy’s red hair, but it’s straight like yours. Why can’t they stay with us, daddy?”

  Nothing would come out. I was speechless. My four-year-old daughter had surprised me so much that I literally could think of nothing to say that would make this situation any easier.

  “A long time ago, both of your sister’s went to heaven to stay with your Grandpa, your Aunt Catori, and Uncle Adam. I made that dream catcher over your bed for that very reason. I wanted your family to be a
ble to visit you in your dreams. To know you as I know you, and what better way to do that than while you’re sleeping?” I whispered against her silky hair.

  I ran my beard against the side of her face and she squealed. Which, in turn, woke her baby brother up, who was sleeping beside the bed in a bassinet.

  “You’ve gone and done it now.” I laughed and Adam started the grunting and whimpering thing that was the opening act to his drama-filled show.

  He was the total opposite of Catori. When Catori was a baby, she was so laid back and mellow compared to Adam. Adam was a momma’s boy through and through, whereas Catori would go to anyone and everyone as long as they held her and never let her go.

  Which is why she always slept on my chest. And why she still did so at four years old.

  Adam, however, was very independent. At two months old, he wanted nothing more than to be on the floor exploring, and he wouldn’t sleep anywhere but in his bed. Not that I didn’t try to pull him into bed with us. Sometimes I even succeeded in getting him to fall asleep, much to Winter’s chagrin.

  She didn’t think it was as cute as I did when Cat slipped in between us in the middle of the night.

  I picked Adam up and groaned when I felt how big he was getting. The boy reminded me of the Michelin Man with his rolls and rolls of fat. The doctor loved to say that Winter needed to cut down on her calories so we could put Adam on a diet as well, seeing as he breast fed with the voracity of a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner.

  Glancing at the clock, I decided to wait the fifteen minutes it would take for Winter to get here. She got off shift about five minutes ago, and if I could find something to occupy the boy with, he could have it straight from the source instead of the bottle.

  Ten gruesome minutes later, Winter walked into the bedroom shrugging off her uniform top and kicking off her shoes.

  “Oh, boy! You shouldn’t have waited.” Winter laughed as she eased Adam out of my arms and snuggled him up to her breast.

  She flipped the top down and the boy latched on so fast that she winced. “Jesus, he’s got a stronger suction than you!” She laughed.

  “We could always try it out later and you can compare.” I raised my brows suggestively.

  “Actually, that sounds wonderful. You know, I got the all clear yesterday before work.” She smiled.