by Joan Jonker
Doreen handed her shopping list over. ‘I’ll be able to do me own shopping on Monday, Mam, if Bobby’s rash is better. He could do with some fresh air, and so could I.’
‘Whatever yer want, sunshine, is fine with me. Yer know I’m always here if yer want me.’
Nellie piped up. ‘And I’ll be with her, girl, so yer don’t need to go short on anything.’
Doreen stepped down to kiss them. ‘Ye’re a pair of smashers. Me and our Jill are going to be mates, just like you two. Of course yer won’t need two guesses which one will be you, Mam, and which one Auntie Nellie.’
‘Ooh, I’d need two guesses, girl,’ Nellie said. Then she put a finger on her chin. ‘I know, Jill will be me, ’cos we’re very much alike in many ways.’
Doreen went into action and stood in front of Nellie. She folded her arms, hoisted her bosom and narrowed her eyes. ‘What are yer on about, girl? Our Jill is more like me mam. It’s me what’s unfortunate enough to take after me Auntie Nellie. I might not have her voluptuous body, but I’ve got everything else she’s got.’ The stance, the expression, and the voice had Nellie wide-eyed. ‘Oh,’ Doreen went on, ‘and I like cream slices and raiding the biscuit tin when no one is looking.’
Nellie gave Molly a dig. ‘Ay, will yer tell yer daughter that if she thinks she’s taking over from me at our parties, then she’s got another think coming. She’s not a patch on me, and never will be. I mean, where’s all the swear words? And can yer see her giving Elsie Flanaghan a belt?’
‘I should hope not! I don’t want to hear any of my children using bad language, or giving someone a belt.’
Nellie grinned. ‘Not even Elsie Flanaghan? Go on, just one little belt, for old times’ sake?’
‘Not even a tap, Nellie Mac, so don’t you be leading the girl astray. And quite frankly, the thought of there being two of you is enough to send shivers down me spine.’ Molly winked at the little woman before saying, ‘Less of this frivolity now, we’ve got to be on our way. If it was left to you, we’d never get anything done. I want to call to Jill’s next, to see the baby. Then we said we’d call on Flora before going to the shops.’
Doreen stepped up into the hall. ‘You be on yer way, then, Mam, and I’ll see yer later.’
Molly linked Nellie’s arm. ‘We might be a bit later than we usually are, because of calling to see Mrs Parker. Is there anything on the list that ye’re desperate for?’
‘No, I’ve got enough in for our lunch, everything on the list is for tonight. I’ll need the stewing meat and veg before three, to give me time to cook it. But don’t panic. Phil doesn’t mind waiting, he’s very easy-going.’
‘Oh, yer’ll have everything on yer list by half one, sunshine, and that’ll be without me panicking. Ta-ra, and give Victoria and Bobby a kiss from both grandmas.’
Nellie was not going to be outdone, and called over her shoulder, ‘Yer can give him two off this grandma, ’cos I’m more generous than the other one.’
Molly pulled her mate along. ‘We’d never get anything done if it was left to you. If we’re offered a cup of tea in Jill’s, then we’ll have one. But if she’s busy with the baby, don’t be dropping hints about being thirsty, or yer mouth feeling like emery paper.’
‘Ah, ay, girl, give us a break. There’s no harm in me saying me mouth is dry. I bet you often get a dry mouth because yer talk a lot.’
‘Well, you cheeky article! I talk to me kids more than you do because they are my kids. But what about last night when Corker was in our house? I hardly spoke, because you were doing all the talking. But I didn’t object because it was fair. You had done a good job and I’d only been a bystander.’
They were almost at Jill’s front door now, and Nellie sighed a heavy sigh before saying, ‘I’ll do without a cup of tea here, girl, ’cos I’m buggered if I’m going through another lecture like that, just for the sake of a cup of tea. I’ll wait till we get to Flora’s, and as she’s me adopted mother, she won’t mind me putting the kettle on. I’m like a daughter to her, but you’re just a friend who has to wait until they’re asked.’
‘Yer’ve got a cockeyed way of looking at things, sunshine,’ Molly said as she knocked on the door. ‘I suppose there’s logic in it somewhere, but I’m blowed if I can fathom it out.’
When the door opened, there was a welcoming smile on Jill’s pretty face. ‘What can’t yer fathom out, Mam?’
Molly kissed her daughter’s cheek as she squeezed past. ‘Yer Auntie Nellie, sunshine. She’s a law unto herself.’
‘Take no notice of her, girl.’ Nellie grinned up at Jill. ‘I think she’s sickening for something. She’s been complaining all morning about having a dry throat. Said it feels like emery paper.’
Jill closed the door, saying, ‘I’d better put the kettle on, then, and make her a cuppa.’ And when she reached the living room to find her mother bent over and gripping the back of one of the wooden chairs, she thought she must really be ill. ‘Mam, are yer not feeling well?’ Concerned, Jill put her arm round the hunched shoulders, only to realize the shaking was due to laughter. ‘What’s going on? Auntie Nellie said yer were sickening for something.’
Wiping away the tears with the back of a hand, Molly said, ‘Yer should know by now that yer Auntie Nellie – or yer mother-in-law – is the biggest liar on God’s earth. She’d sell her soul for a cup of tea.’
Nellie shook her head, but because her chins didn’t agree with her, they went in the opposite direction for spite. ‘No, girl, I wouldn’t sell me soul for a cup of tea. But if I was offered two custard creams with it, then I’d have to give it some consideration.’
Lizzie was rocking in her chair with baby Molly on her lap. Tickling the baby’s tummy, she said, ‘It’s a lucky baby you are, sweetheart, to have two grandmothers who will fill yer life with love and laughter.’
‘While ye’re telling her some of the facts of life, Lizzie,’ Molly said, ‘would you tell her that if she ever needs advice on a serious matter, to come to Grandma Bennett. But if it’s a laugh she wants, then Grandma McDonough is the woman she wants.’
It took Nellie a few seconds to work out whether that was a compliment or whether her mate was being sarky. But when she saw the baby kicking her arms and legs, and gurgling with baby laughter, she cast all such thoughts aside and whipped her granddaughter off Lizzie’s lap. ‘Come to yer grandma, girl. You and me are going to be good pals. And I bet when yer grow up, I won’t have to ask yer to make me a cup of tea, yer’ll do it off yer own bat.’
‘The kettle’s on, Auntie Nellie,’ Jill called from the kitchen. ‘So yer can’t complain about the service.’
‘I’ll answer that when I see how many biscuits are on the plate. Yer have to see something with yer own eyes before yer can say whether the service is satisfactory.’
When the tray was put on the table and bottoms were put on chairs, Molly told Jill and Lizzie of the improvement in baby Bobby. ‘Me and Nellie might be able to see him tomorrow, but I think you would be wise to leave it until the middle of next week before taking Molly. Best to be on the safe side.’
‘I bet Doreen and Phil are glad the worst is over,’ Jill said. ‘They must have had a worrying time.’
‘Well, it’s one worry off my mind,’ Molly told her. ‘I can concentrate on Ruthie’s birthday now. Her and Bella are getting new dresses tomorrow, and silver dancing shoes. I can see our Ruthie acting the young lady, showing off in front of the boys.’
Nellie grunted under her breath, but made sure it was just loud enough to be heard. ‘Takes after her mother. Man mad.’
Molly chuckled. ‘Yes, Nellie, I was, and still am, man mad. But not any man, ’cos I’m fussy. There’s only been one man in my life, and I’m still mad about him. If Ruthie is as fortunate as I’ve been, then she’ll have a very good life.’
‘Me and Doreen take after you, Mam,’ Jill said. ‘Steve’s the only boy I ever wanted, and Doreen fell for Phil the first time she saw him at a dance. So it runs in th
e family.’
Nellie put on her bulldog face as she glared at mother and daughter. ‘Aren’t you two forgetting something? I have a stake in all this sloppiness, yer know, a large stake, too! It was me what gave birth to Steve. I went through the pain, and you just come along and take the prize, as though it’s you what’s clever! If it wasn’t for me, girl, you might have ended up with a rotten layabout. But do I get any thanks for it? Do I heckers like. The most I get is two custard creams, and that’s if I’m lucky.’
‘You’ve got a terrible memory, sunshine,’ Molly said, setting down her empty cup. ‘Yer always leave something out. I think ye’re forgetful on purpose.’
Nellie’s eyes disappeared in a frown. Then, glaring through lowered lids, she asked, ‘What have I forgot, girl? I can’t think of nothing.’
‘Well, I’m surprised yer’d forget something so important. But seeing as yer are me mate, I’ll remind yer. A year after you were in agony in the labour ward giving birth to Steve, I was in the same ward, going through the same agony, giving birth to the beautiful girl he was lucky enough to marry.’
Nellie slapped an open palm on her forehead. ‘Oh, yeah! I remember now. Silly me, fancy me forgetting that! I don’t see how I could forget, seeing as yer never stopped talking about how beautiful yer baby was. To hear yer talk, yer were the only woman in Liverpool to have ever had a baby.’
Jill put her arms round Nellie’s neck. ‘I know you and me mam had to suffer when me and Steve were born, Auntie Nellie, but aren’t Steve and I worth it?’
Nellie’s expression softened. ‘Of course yer are, girl. You and our Steve were made for each other. And although yer mam might not have told yer this, we had yer paired off from the time you were two years of age, and my Steve was three. We used to often talk about how happy we’d be if the Bennetts and McDonoughs were joined together. They say if yer wish and pray hard enough, then yer wish will be granted. And that saying certainly came true in our case.’
‘Nellie Mac, I do believe ye’re getting sentimental in yer old age,’ Molly teased. ‘Next yer’ll be telling them how we were going to buy the biggest wedding hats in Liverpool, for their wedding.’ She chuckled. ‘If I remember rightly, yer said yer were going to buy one as big as a cartwheel, to outshine me.’
The laughter this brought had Nellie’s chins doing a quickstep. ‘Oh, yeah, I remember that, girl. The best of it was, while we were full of big ideas, we didn’t have two ha’pennies to rub together.’
Jill moved to hug her mother, while Lizzie watched with a little sadness that she never had a mate as close as these two. ‘You and Auntie Nellie managed to have a good life without a lot of money, didn’t yer, Mam? While yer were talking about memories, one came into my head that I hadn’t thought of for goodness knows how long. And it was like a picture in me mind, of you running down the yard to the entry, and yer had a pan of hot stew in yer hands. Yer said yer didn’t want the neighbours to see yer, ’cos you and Auntie Nellie had shared the meat and potatoes for the dinner for both families. Do yer remember that, Mam?’
‘I can’t remember that one occasion, sunshine, because we shared everything. We’d have starved if we hadn’t. Many’s the time we’ve had a pan of stew without any meat in! There was plenty of vegetables and barley, and it was filling. But meat was a luxury we couldn’t afford.’
When Nellie laughed, the room became alive with creaks and groans. ‘There was one night George came in from work, and he sniffed up and said, “Mm, that smells good, love. What is it?” And I told him it was a pan of stew, and it would do him the world of good. It was when we were halfway through our dinner, he said, “I haven’t come across any meat, yet, love, it must be all hiding.” When I told him it was blind stew, he thought I was pulling his leg. That’s until he’d emptied his bowl, then he believed me.’
Lizzie lifted the baby and held her close while patting her back. ‘I never went without because Corker was going to sea and left me a weekly allowance. But while you two had nothing, you had everything. Yer might not have had two pennies to rub together, but you enjoyed life. Yer gave yer children love to keep them warm, and laughter to keep them happy. I believe you’ve been happier than any millionaire.’
‘There’s that word again,’ Nellie said. ‘Just how much money is there in a million pounds?’
‘Oh, dear,’ Molly said. ‘I couldn’t tell yer, sunshine, and we don’t have time to figure it out now, ’cos we’ve got to call on Flora before we go shopping. So let’s make a start. Jill won’t mind us leaving her with dirty cups, will yer, sunshine? But I must have a few minutes holding the baby, so pass her over, Lizzie.’
‘Yeah, I’ll have another cuddle,’ Nellie said. ‘We’ve got equal rights with this baby, don’t forget. So it’s five minutes each.’
Molly was in her element holding her granddaughter. And baby Molly recognized her, too, for she gurgled and thrashed out with legs and arms. ‘Ooh, I love the smell of a baby,’ Molly said. ‘Scented soap and talcum powder.’
And while Nellie was waiting for her turn, she whispered to Jill, ‘Ay, girl, how many pounds are in a million?’
When Flora opened the door to the two friends, she was eager to get them inside. The difference in her was remarkable. Her eyes were bright, her hair was neatly combed, and her movements were more animated. ‘Come on in. I’ve so much to tell you.’ She was all of a flutter. ‘Sit yerselves down while I put the kettle on, then I can tell yer me news over a cuppa. Yer won’t believe it, honest, because I could hardly believe it meself.’
‘Whatever it is, it’s done yer the world of good, sunshine. Yer look ten years younger,’ Molly said. ‘If they sell whatever it is in bottles, then me and Nellie will buy a pint.’
‘I’ll have two pints, girl,’ Nellie called, while pulling a face at Molly, which said they were in for a treat. ‘Just in case the first pint doesn’t work, like. I’ve got a lot of creases in my face, yer see.’
‘I’m sure Flora has noticed that, sunshine. Not that there’s anything wrong with having creases, ’cos I think they make yer look more intellectual. More clever and interesting, like.’
‘What are yer after, girl? Whatever it is yer can forget it, ’cos ye’re not getting it.’
‘Blimey, sunshine, I pay yer a genuine compliment and yer throw it back in me face. That’s the last time I’ll say anything nice about you.’
Nellie was silent as she went over Molly’s words in her mind. What were they now? One of them was a long one. She’d never be able to say that, even if she could remember what it was. The one she could remember was the word ‘clever’. Now that was a compliment if there ever was one. And she should have thought before she opened her big mouth. Her mate had a cob on with her now, and she only had herself to blame. But how could she put things right? ‘Your hair looks nice today, girl. Is that a new style? It suits yer, makes yer look a lot younger.’
‘I’ll give yer five marks for trying, sunshine, but yer’ll not get round me so easily. Not this time, ’cos I’m cut to the quick.’
Flora came bustling in then, with a tray bearing steaming cups of tea and a plate with a variety of biscuits. This was a sight for sore eyes, and Nellie decided they were far more inviting than an apology to her mate.
‘You’re doing us proud today, Flora,’ Molly said ‘What are we celebrating?’
Flora set the cups in front of them before answering. She wanted to be seated when she told them her news, so she could see the look on their faces. ‘Well, are yer ready for a big shock?’
Molly gave Nellie a gentle kick to remind her that this was supposed to be a complete surprise to them. ‘We’re ready, Flora. Feet firmly on the floor and hands steady on the table. So let’s have it.’
‘Inspector Willard was here yesterday, and yer’ll never guess what he came for.’
‘To tell yer they’d caught the blighter that robbed yer?’ It was quick thinking on Molly’s part. ‘At least that’s what I hope he called for.’
&n
bsp; ‘Yeah, me too!’ Nellie’s face was as serious as she could muster. ‘That would be really good news.’
‘That would have been good news,’ Flora said, ‘but what the inspector brought was better than that.’
‘Well, yer’ve got me stumped, sunshine, ’cos I can’t think of any better news than catching the robber.’
Flora left her chair and walked to the sideboard. ‘I won’t tell yer, I’ll show yer.’
Nellie played the role of her life. Her show of surprise when Flora stood between them at the table, and opened the box, was nothing short of perfection. ‘Oh, my God, Flora, am I seeing things?’ A hand to the throat as she’d seen Bette Davis do, she shook her head in feigned wonder. ‘I can’t believe it. Is this really the watch what was stolen?’
Flora, her hands shaking with emotion, nodded as she picked the watch out of the box. ‘It’s my Wally’s watch all right.’ She opened the back casing. ‘Look, there he is.’
Molly had no intention of letting her mate get away with that Bette Davis trick. She knew it was childish, but couldn’t help trying to compete. ‘He’s as handsome as a film star, sunshine, and it’s no wonder yer thought the world of him.’ She put an arm round the old lady’s waist, and squeezed gently. ‘This is the best news I’ve had for a long time, and it hasn’t sunk in yet. It’s the last thing me and Nellie expected to hear, isn’t it, sunshine?’
‘It certainly is. I thought yer’d said goodbye to that for ever. How did the police get it back? Did the inspector tell yer?’
Flora rounded the table. ‘I’ll sit down while I tell yer. And then I’ll make a fresh pot of tea, ’cos that one will be cold by then.’
The two mates listened to the tale in silence, except for the odd ‘ah’ or ‘ooh’. They were surprised to learn the inspector had spent an hour with Flora, and was really kind and friendly. She had nothing but praise for him.
‘He said he’d let me know if they catch the criminal, but didn’t hold out much hope. Anyway, although I think everyone who does wrong should be punished, I’m just happy to have Wally’s watch back. I feel nearer to him now. I know it sounds soppy coming from someone of my age, but my love for him is as strong today as it was the day we got married. And having his watch in my hand seems to bring him closer to me. I was so delighted when the inspector showed me why he’d called, I could have kissed him. It’s the very best present that anyone could have given me.’
