A Cowboy's Pride

by Pamela Britton

  “You ready for tomorrow?” Mac asked one night after dinner.

  Turned out there was a campfire every night in the Jensen backyard. Guests were always invited, sometimes Cabe throwing steaks or whatever they wanted on the barbecue, sometimes the guests just showing up for the experience of being on a ranch and gathering around the flames.

  Tonight they had four new arrivals. Alana was talking to a little girl in a wheelchair, her mom and dad deep in conversation to his left. Trent’s own wheelchair had been set off to the side. He’d walked to the campfire under his own steam, something that had filled Alana’s eyes with pride. As he thought back over the past two weeks, he admitted she’d been right. While his calves would never be the same, it’d turned out a lot of his problems were the result of his own mental issues. Alana had recommended counseling and he’d agreed. She had someone local come in and talk to him, and it had helped. Miraculously, he’d gotten better and better.

  “I think I’m ready,” he said when he noticed Mac staring at him expectantly. “I’m getting stronger and stronger.”

  Mac slapped him on the back. It was just the two of them. Saedra was nowhere to be seen. She’d been holed up in the trailer after offering to help Cabe around the ranch and being firmly rebuffed, Cabe citing something about liability. Saedra’s nose had been out of joint ever since.

  “You looking forward to going home?” Mac asked. “Next week and you’ll be on your way.”

  He nodded. He’d decided to ride home with Saedra and Mac rather than fly, and they’d agreed to hang out with him and wait. Easier that way and why not? He wasn’t particularly fond of flying.

  “I’m sure your mom will be glad to see you,” Mac added.

  She would, and he was looking forward to seeing her and to getting back to his old routine. His mom lived with him in Colorado, something that had come in handy over the years while he was on the road. But when he’d spoken to her last night his mom had sensed he wasn’t himself. He hadn’t told her about Alana, although for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why.

  She’d mentioned nothing about moving to Colorado.

  The thought was like a song stuck in the back of his head. He’d been afraid to ask her about it, wanted to give her more time, but if she said no, he would work around her. He would come back. In a week or two. He’d really like that, but when he’d broached the subject of future visits with her last night she’d brushed him off.

  As if sensing his thoughts about her, their gazes met. Trent realized in that moment that he was well on his way to being a goner. She made him feel things, crazy sensations that he’d never felt before. He just had no clue how they were going to make a long-distance relationship work.

  Maybe they could split their time between the two ranches? Maybe she’d be willing to do therapy out of Colorado, too. He would need to talk to her about that.

  It was an idea that wouldn’t go away, and one he raised with her that night. She’d been insistent they keep their relationship a secret, although he suspected Cabe knew. Crap, he’d left his wheelchair on the porch that first night. Still, he’d been forced to wheel himself back to her place later that night, and their lovemaking had been...different. Less intense. More soft, Alana holding him for a long time afterward.

  “Do you think you could find work in Colorado?”

  He hadn’t meant to blurt the words out loud and regretted them the moment they filled the air. Her shoulders went rigid in his arms, her eyes shooting to his own.

  “I’m sure I could.”

  But she didn’t want to. He could see it in her eyes.

  It’s too early, Trent. Slow down.

  “Just a thought.”

  But for the first time, she pulled away from him. And even though he told himself it wasn’t because of his words, he knew better.

  “You want this to work, don’t you?” he heard himself ask.

  “I do, Trent, I really do.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  She shifted her gaze away, looking anywhere but at him, a habit of hers when she felt uncomfortable, he realized.

  “I just don’t know how.” He thought she might have tears in her eyes. Maybe. “My life is here. Everything I know and love is right here at this ranch.”

  Including him?

  He wanted to ask that, but knew he couldn’t. Crap, he wasn’t entirely certain he was in love with her yet, either.

  Yes, you are.

  But he turned away from that, focused on her eyes instead. “I won’t be gone all the time.”

  “I know.”

  “And you could come visit, couldn’t you?”

  She nodded.

  He smiled. “Then we’ll take it from there.”

  But something about her gaze made him uncertain, made him wonder if she hadn’t been nodding as a way to get him to drop the subject.

  The next morning he slipped out of bed ahead of her. It was Saturday, her day off, according to Rana, unless she was haranguing him to do therapy. He smiled as he thought back to last weekend—had it only been last weekend? It felt as if he’d known her forever, so much so that he didn’t want to leave her. Still, he felt the need to get to the roping arena early so he could warm up and judge for himself if he was capable of competing, so he left Alana alone, kissing her softly on the cheek as she slept.

  Early morning light cast a gray sheen over the interior of her bedroom, but it turned her skin the color of ivory, her black hair spilling out around her. She took his breath away, this woman, and he honestly didn’t know how he would stand being apart from her.

  Maybe I do love her.

  They pulled out of New Horizons Ranch less than an hour later, before Alana woke up, which had been the plan. She and Cabe and Rana would all show up later, and to be honest, Trent was glad. He needed to focus, something that he suspected might be hard to do if Alana were around.

  His nerves only increased when he spotted the number of trailers parked outside a massive covered arena nestled in the foothills outside Reno. This was no weekend gathering of local ranchers.

  “What is this?” he asked Mac.

  “An ACTRA event.”

  American Cowboy Team Roping Association, some of the toughest ropers in the country. “For Pete’s sake, Mac, couldn’t you have chosen something a little easier?”

  “What the difference?” Saedra asked from the backseat. She had decided to bring her own horse along for the experience, though she wouldn’t be roping. “Team roping is team roping no matter if it’s at a rodeo or somewhere else.”

  She made it sound so easy, but Trent knew better. “I don’t think Baylor’s a good enough horse to be competitive here.”

  Mac shot him a sideways glance as he navigated his rig around back—the only place there was parking.

  “I thought you weren’t interested in competing,” Mac teased. “That this was supposed to be practice for you.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

  It was a lie. He knew it the moment he said the words. He didn’t want to lose. Baylor might not be Dee, his best head horse back home, but he was a pretty decent sort. As long as Trent’s legs held out, he thought he and Mac might have a shot at some prize money.

  “You’ll be fine,” Saedra said.

  They unloaded the horses, Mac and Saedra saddling up while Trent looked on from his wheelchair. Mac had handed him a shirt earlier, one that he must have left behind at some point in the past. The thing was beige and covered with the logos of Trent’s former sponsors.

  Maybe they wouldn’t be former in a few months.

  He refused to get his hopes up. But his heart launched itself into his throat when it was time to get on board. Baylor was the perfect gentleman. Trent really liked Cabe’s horse, so much so that he mig
ht see if he could buy the gelding.

  “Here we go,” Mac said, guiding his horse toward the main road.

  A few people did double takes as they rode by, but Trent had himself convinced it was Saedra on board her own horse that drew the eyes. He was proved wrong less than five minutes later when someone called out, “Holy crap, it is the two of you.”

  He glanced at a towheaded kid who rode toward them, the boy’s mouth open before he slapped it closed, the rope he’d been twirling suddenly limp by his side.

  “Someone said they’d seen you, but I didn’t believe them. You two are like—” the kid shook his head, brown eyes shining “—the Tom Brady and Wes Welker of the rodeo circuit.”

  “Hey, now,” Mac teased. “Don’t insult us by comparing us to football players.”

  The kid smiled. “What are you doing here?”

  “Roping,” Mac said. He glanced toward Trent. “It’s his first time out since the wreck.”

  “Wow.” The kid stared at the two of them in awe. “I can’t wait to watch.”

  There wouldn’t be much to watch, Trent almost said, but he just smiled at the kid and tried to focus on his horse. It was hard. The boy wasn’t the only one. He could hear hushed voices and feel pointed stares as he rode around the crowded arena.

  Ignore them.

  He focused on his legs. No pain today. Definitely weak, but nothing too bad.

  Baylor tossed his head when Trent uncoiled the rope. Cabe had told him the horse had been used for competitions before, but that he didn’t have much oomph out of the box, so Cabe had offered the use of his good horse, Jacob. Trent had declined. He didn’t want a rocket launcher, he wanted to take it easy today. He had a feeling, though, that Baylor might surprise even Cabe. The horse was amped.

  “First round qualifying starts in an hour,” Saedra told them from the rail. “You guys are out thirty-fifth.”

  “How many teams?” Trent asked.

  “Over two hundred.”

  Damn.

  He’d heard the series attracted a lot of competition, but the number still amazed him. That was more than professional rodeos.

  He was never more glad than when he spotted Alana approaching, a reaction that surprised him. Usually when he dated a woman he liked to keep his distance on competition days, but his initial impulse was to canter Baylor up to her, bend down and plant a kiss on her lips.

  “Look at you ride,” she said with a smile.

  “All thanks to you,” he said. Well, her and his new therapist. He pulled Baylor up at the rail, his hat nearly coming off he stopped so hard. He shoved it back down. “Where’s Cabe and Rana?”

  “Off to find seats.”

  Which meant they were all alone, Mac and Saedra having headed back to the trailer.

  “How do you think you’re going to do?”

  “Good, I think.”

  “Legs holding up?”

  “Just fine.” He patted the tops of his thighs. “A little sore still.”

  She nodded. “You should expect that.”

  So sayeth the therapist. “Alana, about last night—”

  “Not now.” She held up a hand. “I don’t want to talk about you leaving. You need to focus—”

  “I’d like to fly you out to Colorado next weekend.”

  “Trent—”

  “You need to meet my mom.”

  “I’ll be working.”

  “Not on Saturday. I could fly you out on Friday. You could be back by Sunday morning. And surely Cabe could spare you for a day or two.”

  “It’s the start of the busy season.” She shook her head, her eyes seeming to look anywhere but at him—again. “But you could fly back here and stay with us, if you wanted.”

  A horse cantered by him, the animal brushing Baylor and causing the gelding to jerk his head up. This was the wrong place and the wrong time to be discussing this, Trent knew, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

  “I suppose I could, but I don’t know. There’s so much to do, especially if I decide to hit the road again.”

  Finally, finally, she looked him in the eye. “I know.”

  “What about the following weekend?”

  She shook her head.

  Damn it. She had to be free sooner or later.

  “Maybe we should talk about this later.” She stepped back from the rail.

  “Alana—”

  “I’m going to go find Cabe and Rana.”

  “We can walk over together.”

  “No.” She lifted her chin. “You stay here. Warm up. You need to do that.” He saw her take a deep breath, saw her wrestle a smile to her face. “Good luck today, Trent.”

  “Thanks.”

  He watched her walk away, but as he did so, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was wishing him good luck about something else. Like good luck in life.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  She’d never been more conflicted.

  What were they going to do? she wondered, crossing her arms in front of her as she walked toward the massive covered arena. She couldn’t leave Rana and the ranch, especially not now during the start of their busy season, but she knew that was what Trent wanted. Maybe not at first. At first he might be content with a weekend here or there, but then what? If things became more serious he would expect more. He had a right to expect more—but could she give it to him?

  She shoved the thought away, finding Cabe and Rana a short while later, the two of them waving to her in greeting before she sat down between them. She became almost oblivious to what went on. Team after team ran after steers, some of them catching, some of them not. When Trent and Mac arrived, she told herself she didn’t care how they did, but it was a lie. She wanted Trent to do well, even if by doing so it took him further away—that was the problem.

  She’d known it might come down to this. They were two different people with two very successful careers. That meant a compromise, but she refused to upend her life, and she knew he didn’t want to move to California, and that meant a long-distance relationship that she knew in her heart of hearts would never work. It wouldn’t be enough to see him here and there. Relationships were tough enough without adding that into the mix.

  You should at least give it a try.

  Why? she asked herself. Why, when she knew how it would end? Their two different lives. Two different careers. Two different locations.

  The crowd cheered.

  She looked up in time to realize Trent and Mac had caught, their time one of the fastest yet.

  “I’ll be damned,” she heard Cabe say. “I never would have thought Baylor could be that quick out of the box.”

  “That’s what happens when a professional rides him,” Rana quipped.

  “Ouch.” Cabe smiled in Alana’s direction. “I think I’ve just been insulted.”

  But her friend’s smile faded. “What’s wrong?”

  Rana turned to face her, too. “Alana, you look like you’re about to cry.”

  Was she? “I’m okay,” she lied. “I’m just happy for Trent.” And she was. Overjoyed. He deserved a happily ever after.

  So when, a couple hours later, Trent and Mac came back for the semifinals, she cheered. The arena had been lit by a plethora of fluorescent lights, but it could have been almost dark and she still would have known Trent was the best header she’d ever seen. He rode against others of similar skill level, the event using a handicap system that ensured everyone had a fair shot, but it didn’t matter. The man was poetry in motion. Somehow he squeezed every ounce of speed out of Baylor, the horse breaking so fast Alana was surprised Trent’s cowboy hat didn’t fly off. Somehow, Trent read the steer so well, the poor animal didn’t stand a chance. Trent was right on top of it when it left the chute. And somehow Trent
hung on, though she knew his legs had to be killing him, and that it couldn’t have been easy working with a horse with far less experience than Trent was used to—but he did it. When he and Mac caught, it didn’t surprise her to see them atop the leaderboard.

  “Unbelievable,” Rana cried, standing up and cheering. “Go, Trent! Go, Mac!”

  She would have thought they were too far away to hear, but Alana saw Trent turn, saw his glaze slide over the crowd, finding her. She smiled, gave him a thumbs-up, and it hit her then how much she would miss him. Such a good man. Kind. Thoughtful. Caring. Yeah, they’d started out on rocky ground, but she’d understood his anger, and now she knew the real Trent Anderson.

  “You like him, don’t you?”

  The words brushed her ear, and Rana had a smile older than her years on her face.

  “He’s a good guy,” Alana hedged.

  Rana’s smile faded, but only a little. “You should let him know.”

  “Know what?”

  “That you like him.”

  “Rana, stop.”

  “Are you afraid?”

  “Seriously, Rana, stop. You sound like your dad.”

  Rana nodded, looked away. They watched a few more teams, but a moment later Rana reached over and clasped her hand. “I love you, Aunt Alana.”

  Alana felt her breath catch. It was so rare for Rana to call her that. Usually it was for private moments when it was just the two of them.

  “I love you, too, kiddo.”

  She held her gaze. “It’s okay if you leave.”

  Alana straightened sharply, had to work for a moment to squeeze air into her lungs. She forced herself to look into the teenager’s gaze. “I’m not leaving you, if that’s where you’re going with that.”

  “But it would be okay.”

  No, it wouldn’t. She could see the fear in Rana’s eyes. Cabe was good with the girl, but for all that he was a wonderful father, he was still a man, still a little too gruff, still suffering from his own sense of loss, yes, even after all this time.